Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Polaroid

 Pain is becoming something else-- almost a sacred opportunity to mourn with someone,  to commune with them in the most sacred of spaces. 

I still obsessively panic-avoid it on some levels... but I'm realizing more and more it's healthy role in the scheme of things. 


Basically, there's no point you can get to that I won't want to be with you or know you. 


You could become whatever worst version of yourself that you fear or feel you may become and I would want to be there with you, if you'd let me. 


I will never intentionally push you away. I may misread your interactions with me to mean that you want distance and try to honor that (obviously, I'm not so great at that).


I know what it feels like to know that there's some point of becoming who you struggle not to be--some point you can reach where you're unlovable to those around you.  😔 it's a reality I live in. 


I'd rather be messy individuals living life side by side than strangers behind walls... but I'm used to walls and super great at hurting people and making them want to build walls. 


In some ways Polaroid is my song. Listened to it in the shower this morning…. So many ways I relate to the voice behind the words. 

Even if love is often that Polaroid, better in pictures,  God had taken me places that fill the void. 


Friday, August 18, 2023

Shards

 SHARDS

Shattered, broken, deadly…
A lifetime of mistakes lay before me
In overwhelming hues.

Looking around,
I don’t know where to go,
What to do.
Who am I…
…Other than a thousand bits
Of splintered, senseless
Colored glass?

But then,
Ever so gently,
I feel the pieces lovingly gathered,
Delicately and deliberately rearranged,
Making sense of
The sadness,
The heartache,
The mistakes,
The flaws,
The cracked ugly pieces
Of my broken soul.

Patterns form
As I submit
To this brutally tender rearrangement,
Allowing myself to float,
To move,
To break even further
Under the hands
Of the Master Craftsman.

The lead is placed
Deliberately
Between the gaps of the
Broken, colored pieces…
An Atonement of Love
Sealing,
Soldering the pattern into place
In the furnace of redemption.

“What are you doing?”
My soul cries out.
“These pieces are broken,
Ugly,
Unredeemable!
I am still but a cacophonic collection
Of worthless,
Fragmented,
Melted sand.”

My heart hung in shame,
The Master Craftsman
Gently reaches,
Lovinging lifting me into place.

“Just watch,”
He whispers.

Light--
His light!--
Shines through my brokenness
I gasp,
As I see I have become
His stained glass masterpiece.

(Image from Stained glass window, fantasy woman portrait. Generative ai By FantasyEmporium https://stock.adobe.com/images/stained-glass-window-fantasy-woman-portrait-generative-ai/553267928)

Friday, June 16, 2017

Lessons from Utah and a Good Life

This is a bit of a vulnerable post. I felt I should share it. I pray that those who can learn something from it will read it and those who don't will not find it.  Sometimes trusting is hard.  It will be interesting to get up to Heaven and see how many times I felt "inspired" to do something was actual inspiration and not just something in my head. Here goes...

Hi, my missionaries!

It has been a great trip overall. I feel that things have really come full circle with some of the youth I knew here:
-Jordan's endowment
-Kenna's farewell
-Isaiah got his mission call in the mail but is away at Youth Conference so won't open it until Sat :D
-We are going to Jon Moore's homecoming in Andover, NY the Sunday after I get home (2 days!)
-Dallin and Megan in a play
-...and just so many youth all grown up and doing wonderful things :D.

It has been amazing for Drew, too.  He was going to go to public school next year but yesterday he startled me with a decision that he was going to go straight to GCC for classes and not go to public school next year.  I had been fine with whatever he decided and last night he walked me through his mental process. It was cool to see the hand of the Lord in our time together here.

Drew said that when he was in Utah before, he felt kind of lost, like he didn't really know who he was and just reflected those around him. (I had noticed that as well.)  When he came to NY, all of a sudden he was very different from his peers...in that he homeschooled, and some of them made him feel less for it. (Curse them.)  He felt that this attitude made him consider public school, just so he wouldn't be "missing out."  We were both at peace with it and, despite the struggle the school was having at placing him, we were both willing to pay the price so Drew could have that experience. I kind of wondered if that was the reason but felt if he wanted it, it would be best for him to do it and have no regrets.

Well, apparently coming to Utah and seeing a bunch of confident, capable, "happy with themselves" homeschoolers has changed his mind and helped him see that he is okay how he is and that there is freedom in being able to control your own schedule and education...and that you can be cool and happy at the same time!  He is excited now to start GCC and said last night, "I feel so happy and peaceful!  This must be what heaven feels like, although it is probably just 1/100th of what it feels like."  My heart felt so happy for him!  He feels more at peace with himself than I remember ever feeling.  

It was also cool going to the "drop-off" for all the equipment for camp.  It was yesterday morning and we got to meet Delose, the director, and the other leaders and boys all just have a great feeling about them.  Sure, they will be imperfect and probably drive Drew crazy on occasion (I warned him :D), but they are good people.  You could sense that.

Other than that, I had a great lunch with my brother, Dave, and he offered to do some facetime lunches later which he hasn't been up to for a while.  I had dinner with Nathan and Justin and really enjoyed talking with them while Drew played basketball with the Youngbergs, Packs and Bates. (Crazy that he would pick them over dinner with us, eh :)?)

Yesterday we went to Beus pond with Housholders and Bates and chilled and chatted. The youth were their usual awesome with the little ones (super cute!  like Aaron and Joy and Drew and Olivia H...tots adorb!) and I enjoyed soaking up a beautiful Utah summer day with good friends.  It has been funny.  Driving around Utah, my heart longs for NY.  It is more than just Daddy and the kids being there.  It is a feeling.  Karen said that perhaps it was because we have fought and worked so much to be there.  Perhaps :D.  And perhaps it has just become home in my heart. It was a good place to be.

I enjoyed a family gathering with my side of the family on Sunday night.  Everyone in Utah was there (except Justin) and it was fun to laugh and play games with everyone. I have found a couple more great games to share at home!  "Guillotine" and "Cover Your Assets" are two definite ones :).  I don't know if either of you were here when we discovered "Exploding Kittens" (morbid name, i know) but they had an expansion pack there that night.  Charla made her usual wonderous treat: a chocolate, cookie dough, peanut butter concoction that was the consistency of something between fudge and cheesecake.  Luscious.

I am looking forward to visiting again in December over Christmas.  We are thinking of driving you back to college, Tova, and visiting people along the way.  Grandma and Grandpa might be there to skype with you, too, Kel!  Party, party!

I am excited to go home tonight. My flight leaves a little after midnight and gets in about noon tomorrow into Rochester.  From there we head south to Hornell to celebrate Father's Day with Opa (and Oma, of course :D), spend the night, and then head to the Moore's for church in the morning to hear Jon report.  Oh, that reminds me, Enoch Woolsey just got home from California and said he knew a few people who came home to his area after serving missions in Hungary. Small world! (I didn't even realize Enoch had been gone!)

Today I am going to visit Marni in a couple hours.  We are going to watch a woman I knew from Oma and Opa's ward spin wool into yarn and dye it.  After I do that (and enjoy Marni) we are heading to SLC to have dinner and games with G-ma and G-pa.  I will drop off Drew at Housholders (hopefully....if the report from today's weather indicates that camp can open) so he can leave at 6 am, I will drop off the car at the Jensen's, hop on FrontRunner and go to the airport.  Crazy, crazy!

It is amazing to see the hand of the Lord in all things. He truly is there.  My brother Dave said that most people try and lay out their games of life so things are calm and get easier.  He said I seemed to make it deliberately hard for myself. I have thought about this.  I realized how it may look from the outside. I am really a home-body who likes consistency and comfort.  But even more than that, I have dreams for my kids, dreams of righting wrongs and fighting injustice, dreams of living a life of meaning and purpose.  God has answered my prayers for those dreams through the trials and adversity that come.  Some dreams are too big to be found in the logical re-arranging of our lives.  And they are worth it.

I thought about him and some of the struggles he is having with his life and children. It occurred to me that no path is easy.  No game is perfect no matter how much to try and rearrange it to be such.  I don't know what is best for him but I just thought, if I pray and act in faith, acting on the seeds God offers me when I request a certain flower or outcome, I need to be prepared to weed (adversity) and water (with tears) the seed He gives me in answer to my prayers to make it grow.

I have felt sometimes that I am truly losing myself in service to those around me...often at great sacrifice to myself. It has not always been done with holiness of heart and is often done with a victim mentality.  But as I have decided that I indeed want to serve God first, and have striven to prove it, He is now asking me "what do you want, my daughter?  what do you really want?"

I have found a life rich in meaning and purpose. I find myself surrounded by the fruits of years of sacrifice and service and a self that I can respect and even be happy with a little :D.  But most importantly, I find myself even closer to a God that I know, trust and love with all my heart.

The other day at the temple, after doing the session with Jordan, I found myself pondering on a chair on my own.  Out of the blue came the thought, "Mom, I am here."  I recognized that little spirit. It was my Isaak.  Overcome with tears, I took myself to the far side of the Celestial Room and faced the wall.  "i just wanted to give you a hug, Mommy."  And he did. I felt it as much as I have ever felt a hug.  And then the embrace was strengthened as I felt the arms of my Savior around me.  I recognized that embrace.  It held me as I rocked in pain on my bed after Isaak died.  It has held me so many, many times.

Life is sweet. Life is good.  Life is precious.  And the only way to truly find it is on the other side of self-less service.

Like in my Amish book ;).

Love you both with all my heart.  Thanks for your letters and your love...
:) Anyu-ommy



-- 
Family blog: www,thesingingbees.blogspot.com
"Mary-ness":  www.mylazarusquest.blogspot.com

It is what you read when you don't have to that determines
what you will be when you can't help it. ~Oscar Wilde

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.... You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you... We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Friday, March 18, 2016

In It, I Will Rejoice!

"Signs, signs, everywhere a sign."  That song just keeps going through my head as I think of what I want to express in this post...

Maybe is in the news that I see when I exercise in the gym: terrors and storms from politics to flooding in the South to wars abroad.

Maybe it is in the simple evidence of changing weather patterns captured in the common statements around me: "Wow.  This is a most unusual..." (Fill in the blank.)

In a dream that I had last night, I was on my way to speak at my Grandpa Buchanan's funeral.  As I waited outside the room to speak, a woman and I shared delight in a common scripture.  The passage and the delight associated with it was going through my head as I awoke:
 25 And now we only wait to hear the joyful news declared unto us by the mouth of angels, of his coming; for the time cometh, we know not how soon. Would to God that it might be in my day; but let it be sooner or later, in it I will rejoice.


A couple of days ago, it was in the following song.

I was in tears as I listened to it with my kids...just picturing all of those voices and so many more raised in praise and glory at the return of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, at His Second Coming! At the conclusion of that great and last chorus, there will be no more sin, no more sorrow, no more pain, no more suffering. It will be FINISHED. The test will be over. Peace shall reign. Hallelujah, indeed!!

Shooting Love from our Eyes...so cool!

Okay, I do plenty of things wrong.  Getting frustrated about mud and messes, eating too much, whining, feeling sorry for myself (taking offense too easily...they kind of go hand in hand for me), getting mad at inanimate objects and blaming them for my troubles (because they think, right :S?), not taking care of my body...anyway...etc., etc., etc.  Yes. I know it. And the Spirit knows it and keeps me posted.


But there is one thing that I am trying to do more right, and that is look at the people around me with love.  And the effects are head-shakingly amazing.  It defies logic how much has changed around here since I have tried to not necessarily control how I look at my family.  Rather, change how I look at them.  They can feel the difference.  They can feel it if I am "hiding" disapproval behind a smile.   So I had to give up the appearance, thinking that I was somehow doing enough to "keep it from them," a sad lie.

Image result for image of Jesus ChristIt used to be (and still is as I work on this) that whenever something went wrong or I was just plain upset, I would get mad at my family.  I was about to type, "I would get mad at myself" or "I would look for someone or something to blame" but I still do those responses...crazy enough.  So that hasn't changed--permit me a rueful chuckle.  So really all that has changed so far is that when that happens, those eye-daggers that I would normally unleash on the world at large are now a little more contained...or at least directed away from those whom I love most.

Ever heard of the fiery darts of Satan?  Well, I am beginning to wonder if the "fiery eye darts of Mom" aren't almost as lethal.

I would lash out, through harsh words or fierce looks, at those around me and I am so grateful that the Spirit has given me some pretty harsh and dramatic wake-up calls to allow me to see how it has been negatively influencing not necessarily my relationship with my family, but their feelings of self-worth.

Yes.  That is the saddest part. I have seen how the children so often look at me as their determination of self-worth.  Ever heard another phrase: "When momma is happy, the whole house is happy.  When momma is sad, the whole house is sad"? I used to resent that truth (and sometimes still do) but more often the Spirit is directing me to capitalize on it.  Okay, I have this power...let's do something with it!

Image result for image of Jesus ChristSo, coming full circle, I have been first analyzing and then changing how I look at my husband and my children. Yes, my darling husband has unfortunately been the one to suffer the most with my looks of disgust, anger and frustration.  And, unfortunately again, as I have been more real about it, I am realizing that every time I do that, it is because I am feeling those very feelings against myself or my circumstances.  Poor chap has had to take the fall for pretty much everything bad that happens in my life up until now.

(You know, it is funny how I don't take it out on anyone when there this nothing to "take anything out" about...hmmmm.  Wow.  There is truly perspective gained in writing!)

This all comes to mind because of something I have noticed in my children lately.  Yesterday, it was Tova, my oldest.  My amazing first-born that is now teaching me through sharing her experiences of being raised in our home: ways she feels about things we have done (mostly positive), ways she has reacted inside to things I have said or done at different ages...all done without resentment or blame.  As I watch her (and shot less frustration or anger daggers at her innocent heart), I have seen her laugh more, have more confidence and reach out more to those around her in our home and in the community.  Kel is no less responsive to my "sheathing of my eye-swords":  my son who has sought to bury those very powerful tools of sensitivity that he has (probably because they have always been attacked!), is demonstrating a confidence and self-assurance and patience and peace in the home that amazes me day by day.

Image result for image of mother looking at babyI used to see them watch me, carefully, to see if I would explode because of something spilling, something breaking, someone crying.  I have recently seen how they draw back, protecting themselves or those around me, instinctively trying to not only help me by giving me space but also to save those who may suffer from the look.

Now, I am not trying to be hard on myself.  This is simply something powerful that I have learned after asking the question: "What lack I yet?"...and I hope that others will learn from my experience about the power of our gaze.

When we look at others with a heart full of genuine love there is something amazing that happens both to ourselves and them. 

Things still "go wrong." I still have times of huge emotional turmoil when Heaven help those around me (and I have learned that it is, fortunately).  But having seen the tremendous difference how I react when things go wrong, as I remove my family from the blame that they do not deserve, I find it boils over faster and I have less garbage to clean up afterward...less souls to try and reach out and mend, which would normally compound my feelings of anger towards myself that I would in turn lash out at others with...blegh!  See?  Crazy cycle.

It is never too late to start. I have seen my oldest two respond so quickly to this change in my behavior with confidence in themselves, increased love towards themselves and those around them and more patience with me, dear old Mom :).  The Spirit has felt not very gentle in the reminding process but looking back and looking ahead, I needed that. A couple of weeks.  Amazing experience.

It is funny.  The only thing that I have really changed in all this is to try and genuinely see how my looks and words affect those around me.  I have seen the hurt, the wonder, the pain and it hurts too much to be worth just "letting it all go." I still do, unfortunately, but I don't wallow in it like I used to, justifying my frustration or anger by their response.

There is a song that keeps coming to mind.

Maybe in some way I am doing as it says: receiving His image in my countenance.  Sometimes, when I have been unable to speak to someone and yet feel like I must send them some message, I just try and look at them as Christ would, trying to shoot "love" and "approval" beams from my eyes.  I realized the other day I don't do that so much with my kids.  I have been only doing it for a week and have already noticed a difference.  When they are studying, when they are playing, when they are sleeping, I shoot love beams at them with my eyes and it is oh so fun to see them turn and catch you shooting pure love at them!

This love is definitely not from me.  It is a gift from Christ, a gift that I have prayed "with all the energy of my heart" for and which all can receive.  As Alma stated (in chapter 26 of the Book of Mormon):
11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.
 12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever...
 35 Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men (or women!) that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power,all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name.
 36 Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. 
****************
Closing ah-hah: I like to put images in my blog. I like art. I like pictures.  I looked up "person glaring" to put in the first part of this post and as I looked just briefly at the page of people glaring at me, my heart was filled with darkness. I felt overwhelmed and even as I started writing this section, I started crying.  How many times have I filled my gaze with the frustration and disappointment that I was feeling with a child or person at them!! How it must have hurt!!!  

It is amazing how as I am seeking to let the Spirit teach my children more deeply how they need to change, using a few words of correction and just walking away (instead of following up my lecture with the gaze of disapproval, the gaze of death) has made a difference in their ability to accept reproof!  I used to level the "feel the weight of my disapproval" look at them, filling my gaze with all the disappointment, frustration and admonishment that I felt was not getting through with words.

To think of those precious little ones getting that hateful gaze!  Oh, thank goodness for the Atonement and the healing that starts instantly and today!!

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

"Let them walk all over me?! NEVER!"

"Oh," I answered the teacher. "I just had an ah-hah!  I think that God wants us to come up and love at His level and drop judgment and just love...unconditionally."

Our Sunday School teacher had just shared with us the definition of "agape," the highest of the four forms of love identified by the Greeks:
the highest form of love, especially brotherly love, charity; the love of God for man and of man for God, what some people call "unconditional love."
I was thrilled!  This matched with everything I had just been thinking about and learning about in my own journey towards letting God fight my battles and truly praying to just love others after watching War Room.

"Most of your answer was good," came his cautious answer, "but we must make judgment and we must not let ourselves be walked all over by another."  Good point.

Now, I have heard this answer all my life, and I believe there is some truth to it.  However, I am beginning to believe that this mentality can also be a huge hurdle to truly having charity, this perceived need of "self-defense."

My thoughts that follow are still a work in progress. I am seeking for the truth of it, and, as with many truths, I am sure there are times and seasons for different applications of this truth.  Yet what I am seeking right now is an idea that is very elusive and feels...different.  Different from my programmed in response and different take than what I took from my Sunday School teacher's answer (he could have meant something different altogether).  We shall see.

"Judge but not Condemn"
Back to my story, the teacher's response left me wondering.  I have pondered this answer of his, this "don't let your guard down" mentality.  This morning as I prayed in my mini war-room over the garbage cans in the corner of my kitchen, I was praying to love a particular person with fervor and this Sunday School teacher's response came into my mind.  "We must not let people walk all over us or hurt us.  We must still make judgments."  I believe some of the spirit of what he said lies in my husband's beautiful and succinct answer to this age-old dilemma of "when to judge":
We always make judgments.  We just must not condemn.
I feel that this is part of the answer...this difference between condemnation and judgment.  However, I think there is more.

The Right Enemy
There is a line in "War Room," where the main character throws out this problem to her mentor: "Do I just back off and choose to forgive and let him walk all over me??"
 This whole scene is something I need to watch over and over again, but I love her mentor's response: "God is a good defense attorney.  Then you can turn your focus to the real enemy.  The one that remains hidden.  The one that wants to distract you...to deceive you.  To divide you from the Lord and your husband.  Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy....You need to get your heart right with God and you need to do your fighting through prayer."

God doesn't ask us to stop fighting.  He wants us to fight the right enemy.  I fear that too often I allow my "judgment," my "protect myself" attitude to become an armor that is keeping God's love out and keeping Satan in.

Lay Down My Weapons?
This concept of "not letting down my defenses" led to me to an experience shared in the Book of Mormon:
Their submission at first seems ludicrous...but they are victorious in the end.  I guess it depends upon what we consider a "victory"?

Maybe some effective questions to ask ourselves in a given situation are:
--when I put up my defenses, who am I defending myself against?
--do I trust God enough to fight my battles for me, to be my defense attorney?
--have I truly "battled in prayer" and do I fervently pray for God's love for the individual I am contending against or "protecting myself from"?
--is this a case when I need to "lie down my weapons of war for peace" as the Anti-Nephi-Lehis did or a case when, like Captain Moroni or General Washington, when I need to take up my weapons and defend my people and fight with them "for their houses, their wives, their children and their freedom"?

We are commanded to love our enemies.  We are commanded to forgive 70 times 7...or eternally. We are counseled to let God fight our battles for us There is a reason for these commandments and this counsel and why they come out a lot more in the scriptures than instructions to fight.

Times and Seasons
There is a time and a season for everything...but have we tried fighting God's way before we shore up our heart and throw up our defenses?
 To every thing there is a aseason, and a btime to every purpose under the heaven:
 atime to be born, and a time to bdie; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
 A time to aget, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
 A time to arend, and a time to sew; a time to keepbsilence, and a time to speak;
 A time to love, and a time to ahate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Through my own insecurities, I feel sometimes like my answers aren't "right" or "don't fit" what what my teachers have in mind.  I feel shut down. I feel insecure. I feel even attacked sometimes. Sometimes I just feel like I shouldn't keep going to classes (yes, this has been a battle over the years with many teachers...must be my problem, eh :)?).  Will my "protection of myself" in these situations be a victory for me and for God or for Satan who does not desire my good or the good of anyone in that classroom?

I believe the answers to these questions are personal and to be sought on a situation by situation basis. However, the principle that "forgiveness, love, trust, mercy, grace and God's power are sufficient to make us happy" is universal.

Sometimes, God;s defense will be His call for us to pick up "our weapons of war for peace." Sometimes He uses us to help fight His battles...and sometimes He asks us to lay down our weapons at the feet of those who are fighting us to win the greater battle.  Whew.  That will take a lot of prayerful discernment and trust.  And a lot of "fighting in prayer" as I seek to fight the right enemy.

As my wise husband so often counsels, we need to be careful of universal applications and rather take each situation case by case to determine which action for that specific situation will be best.   Perhaps these series of questions will help me decide which unique answer will be mine in any given situation that God will do His will in my life that Satan, the true enemy, will not win.

So I return to my original question: "Let them walk all over me?! ...well, maybe if God is doing my fighting and the victory on the other side of submission is sweeter.  Let me pray about it."

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

How the courage of Paul Revere can give ME courage :)...

"Teaching Kids About Courage"
By Oliver DeMille
Some lessons are more difficult than others.
Any parent or teacher can attest to this reality.
Paul Revere 723638 Teaching Kids About Courage: The Weekly Mentor by Oliver DeMilleMath is a little harder to learn than reading for some kids (and vice versa for others) and music and art are often easier to start than reading.
While there are exceptions to this pattern, almost every young person learns some things more easily than others.
One lesson that is difficult to teach is bravery.
It is essential to Leadership Education, because, as Churchill suggested, courage is a primary virtue because it guarantees the application of all the others.
But how can we teach courage to our kids?

The simple answer is stories.

When we come face-to-face with great courage in the lives of others, we naturally value it in our own.
It takes more than this to become truly courageous, but this is where it starts for most people.
I wish all today’s children and youth could know “the rest” of the Paul Revere story.
Most kids have heard about the two lamps in the church tower and Paul’s ride through the countryside shouting “The British are coming!”
It’s a fun story, with high drama.
But most of us haven’t heard the whole thing.
After Paul had been riding and warning people for a long time, he was cornered by a British unit and captured.
This is where story really gets profound.
Historian Page Smith wrote:
The officer in command rode up and quizzed Revere. Where had he come from? Boston, Revere replied.
“When did you leave?”
“About ten o’clock.”
“Sir, may I crave your name?” the officer asked courteously.
“Revere.”
“What, Paul Revere?”
“Yes.”
Revere’s name was well known to the British as a patriot courier and spy, and the other men in the patrol began to curse and denounce him.
At this point, Paul had a choice to make.
He could go along with his captors, not telling them anything that hurt the colonial cause, but not antagonizing them in any way.
Or he could take them on directly and wage war against them with the only weapons at his disposal—his words.
The second option took a lot of courage (some would say it was a dumb idea as well), and he really had little to gain from it.
But he might help the cause a little if he could get this detachment to stay out of the conflict—or even slow them down a bit.
Apparently he had already made his decision long ago, because he didn’t even try to protect himself.
The historian continues:
“You’ve missed your purpose,” Revere replied boldly.
“Oh, no. We’re after some deserters who’ve been reported on this road,” the officer said.
Clearly the British officer was still trying to hide the fact that the British were planning an attack.
“I know better,” Revere answered. “I know what you’re after. You’re too late. I’ve alarmed the country all the way up … I should have five hundred men at Lexington soon.”
Talk about bold! Reading his words, it’s hard to remember that Paul was a prisoner—on the night of a secret military attack, and a known enemy of the British.
He’s lucky he wasn’t immediately shot.
But he ignored all that, preferring to openly declare his purpose, his treason in warning the colonists for miles, and the fact that the British would soon be outnumbered by men with guns—because of him!

That’s Bravery.

He seems to have wanted to put doubts in the enemy’s minds, to hopefully slow them down and keep them from getting to Lexington in time to fight the colonists.
He unflinchingly put himself in worse danger, hoping to divert the officer and his men from joining the coming battle.
When I tell my kids this story, I’m always moved to tears at this point.
I just can’t thank the founding fathers and mothers enough.
They were going to suffer so much in the years just ahead, but they heard Paul’s call in the night and flocked to the battlefield.
It’s amazing. It’s moving. It’s what made America great, this initiative of the regular citizen.
And here is Paul Revere, captured, in mortal danger, a gun literally pointed at his head, boldly arguing with the British officer and telling him that he, Paul Revere, is the reason he and his men will soon be shot at by hundreds of rebels.
He didn’t hide it, try to explain, give excuses.
He did the opposite.
He put himself directly in harm’s way to help the cause.
As he had ridden from town to town and farm to farm, he must have worried about what would happen if the British caught him.
But when they did, he looked them directly in the face and told them he was the cause of their biggest problems! Smith wrote:
At this alarming news, the officer rode off to confer with the two soldiers who had initially stopped Revere. The three returned at full gallop, and Major Mitchell, the senior officer in the little detachment, placed his pistol at Revere’s head and told him that if he did not answer his questions truthfully he would blow his brains out.
Revere didn’t shrink. He said:
“I call myself a man of truth. You stopped me on the highway and made me a prisoner. I do not know by what right … I will tell the truth, for I am not afraid.”
He didn’t beg or hide his part in it all. He boldly announced it.
Then he insulted the officers by telling them they had no right to stop him.
In all of this, he ignored their positions as agents of the government and stood boldly for the rights given by God and morality.
They must have wondered if he was a little crazy.
They told him they would kill him if they were attacked, and he continued to tell them to get ready because the whole countryside was going to stop them.
He kept the soldiers highly on edge and nervous, so they traveled more slowly.
When I get to this part of the story, I ask my kids, “What would you do in this situation?”
I don’t think there is just one right answer, and in real life I’m sure each of us would have to decide what to do.
But I’m proud to live in a nation where a man like Paul Revere would sacrifice himself to try to give his neighbors even a tiny, little advantage.
I hope a lot of regular Americans today would have this kind of courage.
I believe that reading history and sharing the stories of great men and women, how they used courage to stand up for the right in many times and ways, is essential to any great education.
It is a key part of TJEd and any leadership education.
We need more parents and teachers who study history, share great stories, and take the time to really talk about them with every child and youth in America.

That’s real mentoring.

Oh, and when the British finally took Paul’s horse and left him in the middle of the night on the side of a remote road, did he head to the safety of home?
No, he walked to where Sam Adams and John Hancock were meeting and asked what else he could do.
Then he set out, on foot, to join the fray in Lexington.
More tears.
I just can’t help it.
What is freedom really worth?

Would we do it today?

Or would we stay home and hope for someone else to fix our nation’s problems?
Two months later Abigail Adams took her young son John Quincy (age 7) to the top of Bunker Hill to watch the battle, ignoring issues of safety because her son needed to experience what the battle for freedom was all about.
I think learning courage wasn’t too difficult for him—he just had to watch his mother.
I doubt she knew that her young son, “Johnny,” as she called him, would someday be the president.
But she knew he needed to witness the cost of freedom.
She later said that the exploding of bombs was “marvelous,” because it signaled the battle for what mattered most.
There are children like Johnny in your homes today.
And there are such fathers and mothers as well.
Our kids need to know these men and women, these amazing people who risked and gave their lives for freedom. Knowing them is a step toward courage.
And it’s our job to teach them these stories.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Power in covenants

I was reading this morning in the Doctrine and C 46ovenants, section 130 about how every blessing we get is predicated upon obedience to some law.

Well, I have been blessed my whole life, in times when I have seemed to be doing alright and times when I haven't been so nice.  Heavenly Father must be pretty broad-minded...or understand that sometimes my limited demonstrations of obedience are all I can give.

My son, Drew, then pointed out from his scripture reading the following verses in Alma 46:
20 Behold, whosoever will maintain this title upon the land, let them come forth in the strength of the Lord, and aenter into a covenant that they will bmaintain their rights, and their religion, that the Lord God may bless them.
 21 And it came to pass that when Moroni had proclaimed these words, behold, the people came running atogether with their armor girded about their loins, brending their garments in token, or as a ccovenant, that they would not forsake the Lord their God; or, in other words, if they should transgress the commandments of God, or fall into transgression, and be dashamed to take upon them the name of Christ, the Lord should rend them even as they had rent their garments.
We talked about how they came forward "in the strength of the Lord," making covenants.  We thought: how powerful to have a group of people come together in a common cause, each bearing the strength of the Lord.  The Lord's power is limitless!

They came forward running, donning their physical and spiritual armor.  May we each do so and then reap the blessings that come from entering into covenants that give us "the strength of the Lord."

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Let the walls fall down!

Once again, here is some moooooooooooooood music :)...


Yesterday, (again, in a devotional...so cool!) we read about Joshua and the walls of Jericho out of the kid's picture scriptures.  They are told to march around the city once a day, making no noise but one blast from the trumpets, for seven days.  Then, on the seventh day, they march around seven times and then yell with all their gusto.

And the walls fall down.


They must have looked pretty foolish.  I thought about the people in the great and abominable building in Lehi's dream when I pictured the people on the walls of Jericho, mocking and jeering.  It would have been hard!

But they marched. They shouted.  And, again, the walls came down.

I have seen the hand of God miraculously bring down some "walls" in my life through some of the unusual things He has had me do: homeschooling, having lots of kids, TJEd and Leadership Education, starting a demanding, scholar-level youth group with lots of little kids, starting a choir four months before we move out of our house,... moving to Hungary.

I have even seen the "walls come down" in the transition time we had in West Jordan: people we met, things my kids learned about themselves and others, and stronger relationships with family. For instance, the whole experience would have been worth it just for one precious conversation with Shara over cleaning towards the end of our stay in West Jordan!  And that is just one of the miracles of family that we experienced!

Now in Hungary, the blessings continue to unfold, the greatest ones being what we have seen in our children...miracles in how they think about themselves, others, Heavenly Father and the Gospel.  It has been amazing!

You know, I have often wondered what in the world would entice John the Beloved and the three Nephites to stay on the earth and keep doing the work of God rather than go straight-away to heaven on their deaths.  It seemed noble, but I couldn't understand that being the deepest desire of their hearts.
  
Yet, as I feel the euphoria that comes with seeing God use my family to work miracles in our lives and in the lives of others, in all our imperfections...I get a glimpse.  As hard as it is at times, the wave of positive awesomeness that follows seeing walls come down is truly incredible!
Maybe that is what John and the Nephites stayed for...to watch and participate, first hand, in the walls coming down as the work of God goes forward?  To be one of the ones who felt their feet hurt as they walk silently around, to be one of the ones that felt the surge of passion as they bellowed at the top of their lungs, to be one of the ones who feels the ground rumble and the dust swirling around as the miracle happens!

I know these miracles happen in our lives...that these walls fall down.  They happen every time we follow a prompting, no matter how crazy it seems.  It can be calling that person, writing that letter, saying "hi," sitting down and snuggling instead of cleaning the dishes...promptings very often don't make sense and why should they?
Isaiah 55:8-9:
 ¶For my athoughts are not byour thoughts, neither are your cways my dways, saith the Lord.
 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my aways bhigher than your ways, and my cthoughts than your thoughts.
Need some walls to come crashing down in your life?  Follow the promptings--no matter how crazy they may seem!  no matter how people may mock!--and you will witness miracles!