Why a Liberal Arts Education?

There is a crisis in America, brought to the forefront by the election and other issues facing our nation. It is not a crisis of economics or even politics necessarily, although those are horrific symptoms. The crisis is more fundamental than that, a crisis of uneducated people being bombarded for years by propaganda and succumbing.

Robert Hutchins addresses the core of this issue well:
"The reduction of the citizen to an object of propaganda, private and public, is one of the greatest dangers to democracy...The great mass of the people cannot understand and cannot form an independent judgment upon any matter...The great storm of propaganda that beats upon the citizen twenty-four hours a day all his life long means either that democracy must fall a prey to the loudest and most persistent propagandists or that the people must save themselves by strengthening their minds so that they can appraise the issues for themselves".

People everywhere are looking for the "quick-fix" to their problems, problems that in most cases have been generated by their own willingness to be duped. They seek a more invasive government to reach into their lives and remove the consequences of poorly thought through actions, without considering the ramifications on the future.

What is the solution? Education, education, education. We must be steeped in the classics of humanity, classics that share the benefits of sacrifice and hardship, classics the demonstrate not only the resilience of the human spirit and mind, but the potential for human beings to rise above difficult situations and triumph.

We do not have a choice whether or not to be human beings. Our choice lies, rather, in what kind of human beings we will become: "Whether [we] will be an ignorant, undeveloped one or one who has sought to reach the highest point he is capable of attaining" (Great Books "The Great Conversation", pg 5) No matter where we are at, intellectually or physically, we must shake off the widespread fallacy that we may not gain an education outside of the four walls of an established institution for learning.

What type of education am I talking about? I am not talking about technical training specific to one field generally dished out by the local educational facility. I am talking about what is termed a "liberal education", the aim of which is human excellence, both private and public. Rousseau once stated:
"It matters little to me whether my pupil is intended for the army, the church, or the law. Before his parents chose a calling for him, nature called him to be a man...When he leaves me, he will be neither a magistrate, a soldier, nor a priest; he will be a man."
I am talking about an education that addresses the fundamental questions of society and life.

We must start where we are at and begin reading daily from some of the great books that have shaped the thought of Western Civilization. A "Great Conversation" has been going since the dawn of thought, a conversation regarding the meaning of life, the problem of the immortality of the soul, the problem of the best form of government. It is a discussion of many ofttimes opposing viewpoints regarding the issues of soul, state, God, beauty. It is a discussion regarding "the differences and connections between poetry and history, science and philosophy, theoretical and practical science." (ibid, Pg 4) We must have people in our society who can step outside the conundrums of issues as presented by modern media to see what is unseen in both the issues and the solutions proposed by those who would lead us.

We must realize the verity of Thomas Jefferson’s admonition:

"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization,
it expects what never was and never will be."

We must start dedicating time each day to draw truths from the great books of our civilization,–the enduring, timeless classics– studying the lives and thoughts of others and by so doing, give us a broader basis for coming to our own conclusions in a time where mediocrity and conformity is celebrated. A great outline for this type of formative education may be found in The Great Books set, available at many libraries or even online. I have found another source in the recommended readings for graduate programs available at George Wythe University, also accessible online.

We must take the future into our hands and verse ourselves in the language of liberty, the language of freedom: for if we stand for nothing, we will truly fall for anything.

Emma Smith Presentation

"Hello and welcome, my dear sisters, to my home. I am Emma Smith. I know you will be filled this evening. I pray that the Spirit may attend, so that the message I have to share will be God’s will for you to hear.
My heart goes out to each of you as I see the struggles of your day and all you have yet before you. I am overwhelmed with a feeling of shared sisterhood that truly spans the ages. We, all of us, have a common bond, a common source of strength that lies within the Relief Society.
I would like to take a minute to share a little bit about me, so we can get to know each other more. I was born in 1804 to very loving parents, who raised me to be a very independent and determined young lady. I loved to sing in our local religious services and enjoyed teaching school. When I was 22, I met Joseph Smith, as he boarded with my parents. Although many doubted him, I found him sincere and gained a testimony for myself of what he shared with me. We fell in love, and were married, despite the strong objections of my father. In fact, my father was never able to come to terms with my decision to stay true to Joseph and it hurt me throughout my life.
My life with Joseph, although filled with hardships and trials, was also one of sweet moments of peace and dizzying joy. I love him, and know without any doubt that what he was doing on the earth was God’s will.
Part of God’s will for him on the earth was the organization of the women, without which, Joseph said, the Church was never fully organized. We had gathered together, some sisters and I, seeing a great need to help those building the temple at that time. We had proposed a set of bylaws to the Prophet by which we would be governed. He told us, however, that what the Lord had in store for the women of the this last dispensation was bigger than what we had seen for ourselves...it always seems to be that way, doesn’t it? God’s vision for us ever exceeds our own expectations!
And this is God’s vision for us: Joseph said that the Lord wants us to not only look after the poor, but to save souls. Save souls. What an awesome and daunting vision!
However, we are not left on our own to fulfill God’s instructions for us. On that blessed occasion when the Relief Society was organized, the Lord gave us four specific directions to aid us.
Act according to the Sympathies already in our Hearts
First, He said:
"This society, a society of sisters, is organized "according to your natures. … You are now placed in a situation in which you can act according to those sympathies which God has planted in your bosoms." (HC, 4:605.)"
We already have the sympathies in place to direct us to do exactly what He wants us to do! Let me share an example with you from your own time of a single sister named Cynthia:
"One evening Cynthia felt prompted to go and see a sister she visit taught. The sister wasn’t home. As Cynthia walked home, she noticed a nurse outside a hospital with two children, both serious burn-victims. When Cynthia heard the nurse call the little girl’s name, a flash of recognition crossed her mind; she had known these two children as a missionary in Bolivia four years before. Becoming reacquainted on the lawn of the hospital, it was obvious the children were healing physically, but without any family support, they were suffering emotionally. Cynthia began visiting the children and nurturing them. Single or married, we may act according to the sympathies God has planted in our bosoms and be a tool in His hand in reaching out to save souls. Cynthia didn’t need someone standing over her, telling her what to do. She reached out from her own soul, and this single sister, having no children of her own, instinctively knew what to do.
Angels among us
*The Lord also promised that "If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates." (HC, 4:605.) He also promised in the Doctrine and Covenants 84:88: "...I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."
There is a song from your time that goes "I believe there are angels among us, sent down to earth from Heaven up above, They come to you and me, in our darkest hour." There are angels among us, not only in spiritual support and inspiration from the other side, but in the forms of dear sisters and brothers around us. Many of you have had the experience of a card, a note, a visit that has been a form of an angel in your life. Many of you are also called upon to be angels, as visiting teachers. Dear, dear sisters! God will use you in your capacity as a visiting teacher to know how best you can share His love and His message with those you visit. You are called upon to be the angels among us!
You sisters are called to reach out beyond the sanctuaries of your homes, sometimes with what you feel is little to offer. You are called to reach out to each other, the poor in spirit, the emotionally needy, the spiritually lost. Sometimes the way may feel hard, like you are crossing a raging river of doubt and inadequacy, but I testify to you that if you do your best, your humble offering will be enough
I can see Julia and Emily stranded on the snow on the windy summit of Rocky Ridge with the rest of the Willie handcart company. They had no heavy clothing to keep them warm. Julia was sitting in the snow, shaking. She could not carry on. Emily, who was freezing a well, knew that if she did not help Julia stand up, Julia would die. As Emily wrapped her arms around her sister to help her up, Julia began to cry, but no tears came, only soft whimpering sounds. Together they walked slowly to their handcart. Thirteen died that terrible night. Julia and Emily survived.
Sisters, without each other, these women probably would not have lived. It was Emily Hill Woodmansee who later wrote the beautiful words to the song, "As Sisters in Zion." The verse "We’ll comfort the weary and strengthen the weak" takes on new meaning when you imagine her experience on the snow-packed plains.
As with the Hill sisters, many of us will not survive our tests in mortality without help from others, our personal angels. And just as true: in helping others we keep our own spirits alive.
Knowledge and Intelligence shall flow
*As the Relief Society was formed, God also promised: "Knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time henceforth." (HC, 4:607.) Your days are full of uncertainty, full of challenge. My dear sisters, we must have faith that God has seen our day and prepared this marvelous sisterhood to meet the needs of that day. My dear Sister Beck, my successor who stands at the head of the Relief Society in your day has had an experience that helps us see this. She shared the following:
"I met with a group of women cabinet ministers and parliament members from West Africa who asked me how we help African women. I explained that in their countries we have many organized groups of women, called Relief Societies. We send the Church Handbook of Instructions to the president of each group. The women gather together often to study the gospel and to learn how to care for their families.
"The president divides the Relief Society women into pairs that visit the women in their homes, where they assess needs. Is anyone sick? Do they have enough food and clothing? Do they have the education they need? After the visits the women report what they found. Someone needs shoes, someone is having a baby, and one of them needs work. They ask if within their group they have the needed resources. Most of the time they do. That is what we do for our women in Africa.
"As I talked, these women nodded their heads and smiled. One said to me, "That model would work for our women."
Our model works. It works in its simplicity, and it works in its sincerity. God has indeed given us the knowledge that we need, each of us complimenting the other with our individual abilities, until as a whole, we can meet the needs of our sisterhood with the knowledge we are each individually inspired to learn and know what God needs us to know to build and defend His kingdom. Together, we will be enough.
What special opportunities do you as women have in your area? As a school teacher, I know that we learn best by teaching others. I believe that we as Relief Society sisters see the fulfillment of that promise every day as we teach children at home, in Sunday School, and in Primary, in Relief Societies, in sacrament meetings, and in daily conversation.
The Lord gave me some personal counsel when He was calling me to my own unique area of service in gathering a selection of hymns for the church. It is found in the 25th section of the Doctrine and Covenants: "And thou shalt be ordained under his hand to expound scriptures, and to exhort the church according, as it shall be given thee by my Spirit." We simply need to open our mouths, sisters, and the Lord will fill them with His words.
Rejoice
The final promise I would like to share with you today that God gave us is that "This Society shall rejoice." (HC, 4:607.) Sisters, we need to rejoice, we need to find joy, we need to cling to hope. Again, in the Doctrine and Covenants 123:17 the Lord says: "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." We need to not just be anxiously engaged, we need to be joyously engaged. We must show our children and friends how to find joy in perilous times, how to find peace amidst affliction. Where else can they learn this?
Sisters. I know what it means to be afflicted, to endure hardship. I watched my husband heal other’s children even as our own crossed death’s door. I spent countless days in fear and worry as my husband was jailed wrongfully. I was rejected from my dear family because of my beliefs.
You face trials and hardships in your days that would affect even the most faithful. Find strength in your sisterhood, find courage in the examples of those around you, connect with the sisters in your community in a way you never have before as you genuinely serve and love them and the angels themselves will not be restrained from being in your midst.
Elder Henry Eyring, also from your day, assures us: "You can have the utmost assurance that your power will be multiplied many times by the Lord. All he asks is that you give your best effort and your whole heart. Do it cheerfully and with the prayer of faith. You will feel at some time, perhaps at many times, that you cannot do all you feel you must..The forces arrayed against you will try not only to frustrate your work but to bring you down...Your obedience to the commandments, your desire to do His will, and your asking in faith will determine how clearly the Master can guide you by answers to your prayers...He chose you...The Lord knows you...He has prepared a way so that He could issue your call. (Elder Henry B. Eyring, Oct. 2002)
I testify to you, my dear, dear sisters, that God is with us, that He established the organization of relief society that we might have angels by our sides to weather these storms together, that we might have the knowledge and wisdom between us all to do what He needs to do, that we might have opportunities to act on our generous natures in a do-able, powerfully simplistic way. I know, dear sisters, that we are meant to rejoice."

Mediocrity

"How many times a day do you bargain with yourself to avoid the maximum effort? How often have you compromised somewhere between maximum potential and minimum daily requirements? That is just human nature you may say but beware of lurking danger! For it does not take long for the minimum to become the maximum that you are willing to do. When the minimum becomes the maximum, the sum of your life becomes mediocrity. That is the way people for countless generations have lost a great portion of that character called "excellence". All too often, we are willing to settle for a "comfort zone of mediocrity"caused by a diet of minimum effort, minimum risk, and minimum accomplishment in life."

A friend pointed out something to me about this quote, and it made me think...How do we define mediocrity? Or, perhaps a better question would be, how do we define excellence? Is it the number of things we get done? Is it how many people are impressed with our life? Is it the number of friends we have? Is it how many times we get everything checked off of our "to do" list? Is it that we do things just a certain way, the "perfect" way? To use an example from Max Lucado's dear Wemmicks in "You are Mine", is it the number and quality of the "boxes" and "balls" we own? Is that the excellence we are striving for?I submit that there is a different definition of excellence, at least one that I find true in my life. To me, mediocrity is being aware of something (be it a problem, a person, a need), having the time and resources to deal with it, and not caring enough to do it. It's not that I have so many things that I want to do and don't have the time to do them all. It's not that there is a certain way I would like to do something and yet lack the time, resources, or ability to do it that way. This, to me, is not mediocrity.And, on the flip side, "excellence" is being a good listener, taking time for good people, sitting and snuggling with a needy child, walking next door and talking to the neighbor (while your dinner is burning in the oven :)...). Excellence is showing others how to love and be loved, how to serve and be served...excellence is a frame of mind. Excellence is being uniquely "you" and trying your best to do what you can to make the world a better place, one small thing at a time. It reminds me of the poem...my favorite...posted on this blog as quoted by Mother Theresa.

Joy in the Journey

Someone recently asked me to share how I have learned to find joy in the journey, amidst the stresses of everyday life with raising a large family and dealing with adversity in life. She said it should be something like a take-home message to my children, my posterity, similar to the young man who sent home a message to his family while a prisoner of war in Asia. Here goes:
To start off with, many of you know a bit of what happened with my son just under six years ago. It was a searing-ly painful experience, emotionally and mentally, from which I learned a great deal. One of the lessons I learned was about trials and hardships. I had someone come up to me after this experience with my son and say, "I used to think you always had it altogether and couldn’t relate to anyone because your life was so perfect. Now I feel that I can relate to you." That shocked me then, and I continue to marvel at the comment, innocently said, yet so wrong. For years before I had struggled with depression, and, having experienced both a "more visible trial" and those years, I believe firmly in the truth of the quote I memorized years ago that goes something like this: "The greatest battles we will ever face will be fought in the silent chambers of our own souls."
I wonder if sometimes it is not harder to struggle with something that is not seen and therefore receive little external support than with a, like I said, "visible trial". The take-home message to me is, we just can’t compare. That being said, I want to say we all experience trials in this life and need the message President Monson has in his talk, "Finding Joy in the Journey" (Ensign magazine, November 2008).
The way that I may find daily joy is best captured in the context of the "Serenity Prayer":
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The Courage to change the things I can;
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
First, to accept the things I cannot change.
Thinking in our lives, there are many things we "cannot change": the one year old unpotting a plant into his crib (the dirt was everywhere!); traffic–the other drivers on the road!; on a more serious note, family member’s attitudes and actions; and, my personal favorite, hormones. (They are real!) So how can we find joy, the "Serenity", to accept these things?
First it helps to realize that trials have a purpose. C.S. Lewis states it best:
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is just that He is building quite a different house than the one you thought of–throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace."
We are truly being made into "palaces" yet we don’t know how to build them. We need to trust that He who sees all things knows what He is about.
Second, attitude and humor are essential. I love the anecdote told of a man traveling on a path who comes to a town. A group of old men are sitting along the side of the road as he enters the town, and the traveler asks them, "What are the people like in this town?" The men look at each other then answer the strangers question with one of their own, "What were the people like in the town you came from?" The traveler thought for a moment and then said, "Well, they were alright, enough, I suppose, but were pretty vicious and mean...the standoffish type, if you know what I mean." The old men said, "They’re pretty much the same here," and the traveler continued on in a hurry. Another traveler came along later that day and asked the same question of the group of men, to which they responded with the same question, "What were the people like in the town you came from?" The traveler’s eyes lit up as he said, "Oh, I am sure they had their faults, but they were the best kind of people you could find once you got to know them." The old men promptly responded, "Well, they’re pretty much the same here." Attitude can be everything.
Humor is the balm of our existence. Laugh, take pictures those moments when you’d like to scream and pull your hair out. I have photos of kid’s cribs full of dirt, with dirt smeared across their faces, Lily eating the flowers in my front flower bed as a baby, Drew standing on top of a table strewn with Cheerios, while his older brother Isaak quickly eats as much as he can of the ones spilled on the floor before mom comes to "find out", kids practically naked in the garden busily digging up my freshly planted vegetables, and many more. Of course there are many times when I chose the angry, frustrated route, but those times I chose to laugh stand out as precious to me. A little while back, Piper, my two-year-old came up to where Quinn, our sister Tasha, and I were lounging on the couches talking to each other and proudly handed me a towel covered in poop! Ahhhhhh! I quickly thanked her for it and retrieved it, and then hurried it out to the garbage can....sorry! I didn’t want to face dealing with that! Then we went on the "treasure hunt" to find the rest of it, after Quinn carefully helped me strip her, clean her in truth, and put her into a bath. What a sweet little independent girl! We found the "treasure" shortly after, and I took on the "honor" of eliminating it. Tasha just laughed and laughed. While I didn’t take a picture (the immediacy of the towel took precedence), it was so good to laugh.
The third component of accepting things we cannot change, I believe, is to realize that life is the journey, not just the destination. C.S. Lewis says it best:
"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions
of one's 'own,'or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are
precisely one's real life-- the life God is sending one day by day."
We need to enjoy the snuggles, the books, the moments with family and friends. We need to stop looking ahead to the life "we hope to live someday" and expect that it is then that we will have joy. As President Monson has stated so many times, if we store up enough tomorrows, all we will have is a bunch of empty yesterdays. We also need to stop and literally smell the roses or take those "time outs" to be in nature, to witness ourselves surpassed as Thoreau suggested. Doing this enables us to recognize the hand of God, His glory and omnipotence, and can restore our faith in His ability to watch over us.
The next step in the prayer of Serenity is to change what we can.
The first essential part of this process is to change our concept of "perfection". We often start our days with an ideal of "the perfect day", with a huge list and the ambition to check it all off. Well, that doesn’t always go that way....does that mean our day is perfect? When our child falls and skins their knee right when we are off to do visiting teaching, making us late, does that mar our day? When someone calls and desperately needs a visit or a chat, and we don’t get the bread made or the laundry rotated, does this make our day a failure? What is perfection? Perfection is living the life we are meant to live. There are a few key ideas that I have found help me be proactive in affecting those things in my life over which I do have control.
First and foremost is the need to take ownership over our attitude and agendas. So many times we feel overwhelmed, yet we conversely feel that if we let "anything" go, life as we know is will not go on the way it was "meant" to. We need to remember that we ultimately have control over our lives, for the most part. For example, I have a friend who decided to leave her husband and her children and go and "find herself" in San Francisco. We could do the same at any time. Of course there are consequences, but that example provides a sharp illustration of just how much we have to do. So we choose the life we are leading, in large part, and, even if we don’t have control over some things, we ultimately have control over the attitudes that we have. Look at the examples of Corrie Ten Boom, of Victor Frankl, of Gordon B. Hinckley. Each of these individuals made a choice in their attitudes. We can do the same. Often, Quinn will come home and find me frazzled and frustrated, yet when he asks how I am, I grit my teeth and growl, "Great! I am choosing to have a good day!!" :)
One way I have found to exhibit this control, this choice, is by (1) putting on that ofttimes fixed grin (the power of suggestion is just that...powerful!) and (2) serving. Nothing heals, nothing soothes, nothing puts things in perspective the way service does. When I am miserable and depressed, I can always attribute it to selfishness. I am just too focused on myself! The best way to combat this is pray that I may find someone to serve.
This leads to my next tool for taking ownership over our lives: prayer. Elder Eyring, in the April 2007 conference said:
"The God who gives us each day as a treasure will require an accounting...This day is a precious gift of God..." A morning prayer and an early search in the scriptures ca set the course for a day. We can know which task, fo all those we might choose, matters most to God and therefore to us...such a prayer is always answered if we ask and ponder with childlike submission, ready to act without delay to perform even the most humble service...All would be possible for the humblest of us...The temptation to delay will come from...two feelings...one to be complacent...and the other to feel overwhelmed.
"Lovingly pray: ‘Please let me serve this day. It doesn’t matter to me how few things I may be able to do. Just let me know what I can do. I will obey this day. I know I can, with thy help.
"Hard as things seem today, they will be better in the next day if you choose to serve the Lord this day with your whole heart...when your burdens become too heavy, the Lord, whom you have served, will carry what you cannot. He knows how. He prepared long ago. He suffered your infirmities and your sorrows when He was in the flesh so He would know who to succor you."
We need to have faith that we are enough.
We are not sent down to fail. He sent us that we might have joy. It is a CHOICE: the price has been paid for our joy (see Romans 5?) despite our imperfections. It is for us to accept that gift.

Time

I was just reading in Alma 40:8 of the Book of Mormon about how time is only measured unto men, and how all is as one day to God. Imagine what it would be like without time "constraints"! What would we do with our time? Would we fill it with valuable things or lesser things? I think a great deal about time, how, if I only had more, I could study so much more, and do so much more good...and maybe finally get to "catching" up my photo albums (which could hardly be called scrapbooks!) after I do what it is I do every day: live life imperfectly striving to nurture and snuggle, lead and follow, teach and be taught, endure and serve :). And then think of the proverbial "couch potato" (no name or image comes to mind :)!) and what they would do without time constraints if there was never a deadline, never an externally imposed demand on their time...how would they spend it? Would they continually put off the more difficult yet more valuable things that will help them fulfill their own unique mission before God? After this life, we will have the eternities before us, a timeless existence as we seek to become more like God. What better way to get us jump-started into using our existence in a meaningful fashion than to impose time-constraints in this life!

The Parable of the Big Toe

The other day I was driving down the street on my way home from running errands. The vehicle in front of my veered out of the way of something I did not see in the driving rain. As I came closer to that same spot, I saw a little girl, blond hair streaming behind her as she pedaled her little bike along the side of a busy road with all her might. A thought flashed through my mind, "This could be one of my children!"
As I pulled up closer, I noticed it was the sweet five-year-old daughter of a friend of mine. Knowing she should never approach strangers, I hoped she would recognize me as I tried to pull to the side alongside her in a non-threatening fashion to encourage her to stay off the road and find out from her where she was going, and, perhaps more importantly, where her mother was (. She seemed bewildered about what I was doing and, in fact, pulled even farther into the busy road. I hurriedly pulled off the road ahead of her, and asked my twelve-year-old daughter to stay with her to keep her safe while I went to fetch the little darling’s mother. Of course, the mother was relieved and came to retrieve her wandering daughter. Several other neighbors had stopped or at least paused to make sure everything was alright in the meanwhile.
Many of us are like that little girl, pedaling with all our might on an often stormy pathway. We are so focused on where we are going (even if it is the wrong direction) that we often pedal along, heedless of the support around us. And, just like that little girl, we need each other to get where we truly need to be.
As I lay awake in bed this morning, that incident strung together with some other experiences and thoughts I have had lately. One was a conversation I had with a friend just earlier that day. She mentioned how different her church communities were in Indonesia and Oregon, how they seemed to pull together more and take more time for each other than we do here in my neighborhood. It made me realize that, even though our houses may be proximally close to each other, in our hearts and lives we are as distant (or perhaps even moreso!) than people in "the mission field".
I have been reflecting quite a bit lately on the body of Christ referred to in 1 Corinthians in the New Testament, chapter 12. Each member is so different, whether it is member of a church or member of a community, that it is easy to draw a parallel with Paul’s imagery here. He mentions that "The body is not one member, but many" (vs 14)... "The eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary" (vs 21-22)... "God hath tempered the body together...that there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another; And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it, or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it." (24-26). We are all essential!
I started considering my place in "the body of Christ", ...and I settled on a big hairy toe (. While it seemed humorous and oddly appropriate in many ways at first, I began to realize that even that big hairy toe is essential for balance–something I discovered once when I injured that seemingly insignificant member of my body (. Not one of us is insignificant. Take the appendix–a minuscule part of our whole make-up, but when it is inflamed, oh! how the rest of the body suffers! However, for a body to function properly so it can not only share the pain of that part but send ways for it to heal, it must be connected and healthy.
Are we connected? In what ways are we? In what ways could be improve on that score? Do we feel the pain of those around us?...and is that bad?
Someone told me of a book called "Outlyers"/ "Outlanders" (or something like that) about a community of Italian immigrants with a remarkable health record–I believe particularly in the area of heart health. A study conducted in their midst found that the only discernable difference between this community and others was the connections they made. They actually mingled at days ends, rubbing shoulders with family and friends as they walked the streets and sat on porches! What a novel idea. By making these connections, they actually improved their health!
Taking this idea back to the "body of Christ" metaphor, what happens when we are disconnected, when the parts try to exist independent of one another? Shriveling, atrophy, eventual death perhaps?...do we sense this in our own lives? By being connected and whole with those around us, family and friends, we are healthier and happier, even if it means sharing each other’s pain.
We need each other, in our diversity, in our differences.
Plato claimed that there is one way to be, one ideal. As a society we have bought into that concept, feeling, deep down, that if one person is good at something, then we should be also. We each to have our endless "lists to perfection" we are intent on checking off, and as we see other’s "lists", ours just get longer (. In our education, we seem to think that there is one specific body of knowledge that we all must know or we are something less than what we should be. The diversity and uniqueness of each of us compliments each other.

Finding Joy in Motherhood!

A Mother’s Prayer

Oh give me patience when tiny hands
Tug at me with their small demands
And give me gently and smiling eyes;
Keep my lips from sharp replies.
And let no fatigue, confusion, or noise
Obscure my vision of life’s fleeting joys,
So when, years later, my house is still–
No bitter memories its room may fill.
---Author Unknown

LEST WE FORGET
She came tonight as I sat alone
The girl that I used to be...
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully.
Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes that I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame
All wonderful things to do.
Where is the mansion of stately height
With all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels for your hair?
And as she spoke, I was very sad,
For I wanted her pleased with me...
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl I used to be.
So gently arising, I took her hand,
And guided her up the stair
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet and fair.
And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me;
That silken robe is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.
And my mansion of stately height is Love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltering walls
For the dear ones who come and go.
And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me;
And I saw that the woman that I am now
Pleased the girl that I used to be.--Rowena K. Lewis

"Our homemaking skills haven’t really been lost–they are simply crafts which have become rusty through disuse. We can swiftly relearn the steps to creating a true home, to ensouling the home. All it takes is a little time and effort–and a large dose of imagination and wonder. What is needed is nothing less than the re-enchantment of our homes–to endow them with magic, warmth, and joy. We need to bring back the life and soul of the home, honor its power and healing, respect its spirit." By Jane Alexander in the book Moving On.

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
lapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask, "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last.

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow,
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
‘Cause you never had time
To call and say "hi"?
You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day
It is like an unopened gift...
Thrown away...
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
(And it ends all too soon, sometimes...)

My Symphony –by Wm. Henry Channing

To live content with small means;

to seek elegance rather than luxury,

and refinement rather than fashion;

to be worthy, not respectable;

and wealthy, not rich;

to study hard

think quietly...

talk gently...

act frankly;

To listen to stars and birds,

to babes and sages,

with open heart,

to bear all cheerfully,

do all bravely,

await occasions,

hurry never....

to let the spiritual,

unbidden and unconscious,

grow up through the common.

This is to be my symphony.

Being a Mom
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?""It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral."I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.
I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.
I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.


"You can have the utmost assurance that your power will be multiplied many times by the Lord. All he asks is that you give your best effort and your whole heart. Do it cheerfully and with the prayer of faith. You will feel at some time, perhaps at many times, that you cannot do all you feel you must..The forces arrayed against you will try not only to frustrate your work but to bring you down...Your obedience to the commandments, your desire to do His will, and your asking in faith will determine how clearly the Master can guide you by answers to your prayers...He chose you...The Lord knows you...He has prepared a way so that He could issue your call. (Elder Henry B. Eyring, Oct. 2002)

C.S. Lewis quotes:"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,'or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what onecalls the interruptions are precisely one's real life-- the life God is sending one day by day."

"When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn’t stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home out of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother’s heart, and she puts it into the baby’s mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies." – E. T. Sullivan

From my dear sister: "A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me withfull hands;How could I answer the child? I do not know what itis any more than he." Walt Whitman

"We do not draw people (let along children!) to Christ by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them howwrong they are and how right we are, but by showingthem a light that is so lovely that they want with alltheir hearts to know the source of it."Madeline L’Engle

Elaine L. Jack, a former LDS Relief Society general president, said: "Time is a critical issue for women today. There are sisters in the Church who spend half the day, every day, bringing water from wells to their homes. That's how they have to spend their time. They never have a day off. There are sisters who stand in line for hours to buy scant supplies of food. There are sisters who work in the fields all day to earn enough to feed their families. Time is a precious resource we have been given. I am so concerned about the pace we have set as women in this part of the Lord's vineyard. We have automatic sprinklers and taps with running water, hot and cold. We think the many labor-saving devices we have should remove all stress from our lives, but we fail to take into account that it's how we feel about what we do that is most important. It seems that the welfare of our own souls is being put at risk as we rush to live all seasons of our lives now. And on fast forward. "How can we put our time on the shelf of the Lord's storehouse? I think we can best do this by prayerfully considering how to use our time. We can't do everything. I know; I've tried. But we can do something fine with our time. I hope you'll make sure you have moments for prayer, study and pondering daily. There may not be hours for that, but surely there are minutes. Nothing will fill your daily storehouse in a more satisfying manner."

I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going she's going . she's gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right nowwhat it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there." As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

A builder builded a temple,
He wrought it with grace and skill.
Pillars and stones and arches
All fashioned to work his will.
Men said as they saw its beauty,
It shall never know decay.
Great is thy skill, O builder,
Thy fame shall endure for aye.
A mother builded a temple
With loving and infinite care,
Planning each arch with patience,
Laying each stone with prayer,
None praised her unceasing efforts,
None knew of her wondrous plan,
For the temple the mother builded
Was unseen by the eyes of man.
Gone is the builder’s temple,
Crumbled into dust,
Low lies each stately pillar,
Food for consuming rust.
But the temple the mother builded
Will last while the ages roll,
For that beautiful unseen temple
Was a child’s immortal soul. -- Author unknown

From the book "I Am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson:pg 11: For years, many in the business world have taught–and been taught–that the definition of success is achievement, chiefly in career and financial terms. At the Harvard Business School, the model of success included one word: achievement. A few years ago, however, Harvard took another look at the model and added a few more words: happiness, significance, and legacy. Is there any other person who can bring more happiness to her young charges, has more significance in another’s life, or has the potential to leave a greater legacy for those who come after her than a mother?

Pg 49: I’m willing to bet...that most of us don’t remember what horse won the Kentucky Derby three years ago, or who owned the horse. On the other hand, I’m also willing to bet that your children can remember a trip to the park, a favorite family story, a late-night talk after a first date, and dozens of other things you have done each and every day as a mother.

Pg 92: And rather than losing my identity with the children, the irony is, I actually feel as though I have further identified my true self. I’ve worked my way through often difficult and complicated but very human emotions...and found love and peace and tremendous happiness.

Elder Jeffrey Holland: You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you, and He will bless you, even–no, especially–when your days and your nights may be most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and weep over their responsibility as mothers, ‘Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.’ And it will make your children whole as well."

Former New York Times reporter and Pulitzer Prize nominee Anne Crittenden writes: "Any woman who has devoted herself to raising children has experienced the hollow praise that only thinly conceals smug dismissal. In a culture that measures worth and achievement almost solely in terms of money, the intensive work of rearing responsible adults counts for little. One of the most intriguing question in economic history is how this came to be; how mothers came to be excluded from the ranks of productive citizens. How did the demanding job of rearing a modern child come to be trivialized as baby-sitting? When did caring for children become a ‘labor of love’, smothered under a blanket of sentimentality that hides its economic importance?"

Journalist Cokie Roberts in her book We are our Mother’s Daughters: "For most of human history, men and women worked together in the same place and each one’ work complemented the other’s. No one thought the farmer’s job was more important than the farmer’s wife’s. Neither could manage without the other...It was the industrial revolution that changed everything. Men went out to work for wages, and they were paid for the hours they put in, not the tasks they completed...Suddenly, what women did at home lost its value because there was no paycheck attached. Repetitive housework replaced home manufacture as women’s crafts moved into assembly-line production. And that’s what we’ve been struggling with ever since. Doing work that is economically rewarded and socially recognized means leaving home...Women aren’t paid for their job as nurturers."

Author Anna Quindlen says, "The great motherhood friendships are the ones in which two women can admit [how difficult mothering is] quietly to each other, over cups of [herbal] tea at a table sticky with spilled apple juice and littered with markers without tops."

Poet William Ross Wallace:

"The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."

Story quoted by Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley: "I remember looking through tears toward the sky, and I said, ‘Dear Father, I just can’t do it tonight. I’m too tired. I can’t face it. I can’t go home and take care of all those children along. Could I just come to You and stay with You for just one night? I’ll come back in the morning.’ I didn’t really hear the words of reply, but I heard them in my mind. The answer was: ‘No, little one, you can’t come to me now. You would never wish to come back. But I can come to you."

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow,
For babies grow up, I’ve learned, to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, got to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep. --Author Unknown

Some houses try to hide the fact
that children shelter there;
Ours boasts it quite openly...
the signs are everywhere.
For smears are on the windows,
little smudges on the door;
I should apologize I guess
for the toys strewn on the floor,
But I sat down with the children
we played, laughed and read,
And if the door bell doesn't shine,
their eyes will shine instead.
For when I'm forced to choose
the one job or the other
It's good to be a housewife
but I'd rather be a mother!

"One thing I’ve learned is that relationships usually don’t get better accidentally; rather, they improve when we make that result a priority. Try to invest time in the relationship in obvious ways. Here are some things I’ve tried that may work for you; talk together; play together; spend one-on-one time together; send letters, cards, or notes sharing your affection; give compliments; do something fun and unexpected; say "I love you"; listen to the other person; ask him or her to help you on a project; share personal feelings. All of these require that you personally get engaged in things the other person is doing." (Ensign, Feb ‘09 pg 16.)