Macbeth and Emotions

To be able to not only recognize emotions and pain but to acknowledge them openly and seek to identify what is really happening is a powerful skill...one I am still working on.

It is interesting how God works with us.  For the past few nights I have awakened for a 4 am feeding with the baby unable to sleep. Powerful thoughts and emotions course through my mind and body as I struggle with an ongoing situation in my life.  I am awake for a few hours, catch a little more sleep, but spend too much of my days in a daze as I wage this inner, emotional war seeking for truth and resolution.


Well, this particular morning after feeding my wee one, I went out into the family room to download all my emotions onto my personal journal pages--seeking in the process a little more clarity, refinement and understanding of the maelstrom within.  As I pulled up my gmail to log-in, I felt drawn to the most recent article by Stephen Palmer: "Man Up." (Click for the link...worth the read.)

This article reminds me of one of my favorite scenes in Macbeth:  Macduff has just discovered that Macbeth, in retaliation against Macduff for fighting against him, has slaughtered everyone in Macduff's castle, including his wife and children.  Macduff is beside himself with grief and his new leader, Malcolm, basically says, "Buck up.  Be a man.  Let's go fight like men and be revenged." Move on, Malcolm is urging, and leave your womanly emotions behind!

Macduff's response touched me when I saw the performance on stage.

"I shall do so; But I must also FEEL it as a man."

Let me mourn, Macduff is pleading!  Let me feel these powerful emotions that course within me!  Let me identify them.  And in the process of acknowledging and identifying my pain, it will make me stronger to do what I must do.

The emotional warfare in my soul this morning is just beginning, but I hope it will be worth it.

--Da Vinci, "War"

NEVER underestimate the strength that comes with being able to acknowledge and deal with powerful emotions.

------------------------------------------------
(Here is the actual, cool Shakespearean version from "Macbeth" :)...)
ROSS    Your castle is surprised; your wife and babes
    Savagely slaughter'd: to relate the manner,
    Were, on the quarry of these murder'd deer,
    To add the death of you.
MALCOLM    Merciful heaven!
    What, man! ne'er pull your hat upon your brows;
    Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
    Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.    210
MACDUFF    My children too?
ROSS    Wife, children, servants, all
    That could be found.
MACDUFF    And I must be from thence!
    My wife kill'd too?
ROSS    I have said.
MALCOLM    Be comforted:
    Let's make us medicines of our great revenge,
    To cure this deadly grief.
MACDUFF    He has no children. (Love that line!  Amen!) All my pretty ones?
    Did you say all? O hell-kite! All?
    What, all my pretty chickens and their dam
    At one fell swoop?
MALCOLM    Dispute it like a man.
MACDUFF    I shall do so;    220
    But I must also feel it as a man
--
ACT IV SCENE III Macbeth, Shakespeare

What the Lord has in store for us...

I love the scripture I just read in the Book of Mormon and wanted to share:

And the Lord would not suffer that they should stop beyond the sea in the wilderness, but he would that they should come forth even unto the land of promise, which was choice above all other lands. (Ether 2:7)

Sometimes the Lord doesn't let us stop because He knows there are incredible vistas ahead.  Keep building those barges.  Don't give up.

And here is an amazing follow-up quote I read soon after that scripture:

"With mortal eyes, we might be tempted to envision that a more fitting path for such a man and such a moment would be a path of greater ease, efficiency, and acclaim. In recognition of the earth-shattering events about to happen as a consequence of this boy entering this town at this time, could not the Lord, who so carefully orchestrated the placement of the golden plates over a millennia earlier, have provided a straighter, more comfortable and heralded path of arrival?

Yes, He surely could have, but He did not.

There was no prominent, prophetic anointing of Joseph in his childhood (see 1 Samuel 16:11–13). There was no directive dream pointing him to a promised land (see 1 Nephi 5:4–5). There was no curious Liahona to help his family avoid missteps along the way (see 1 Nephi 16:10; Alma 37:38). And there certainly was no open-air limousine traveling along a sunny, streamlined parade route with cheering masses providing a triumphant welcome.

Rather, for Joseph and his family, there was a wildly meandering trail of sorrow marked with bad luck, ill health, poor judgment, natural disaster, crushing pain, callous injustice, continuing obscurity, and unrelenting poverty. This is not to suggest that the Smith family lived in one continual round of abject misery; they did not. But the path to Palmyra was anything other than direct, prosperous, and publicly notable. Lame, limp, and bloodied, the Prophet literally had to be carried to his unparalleled rendezvous with destiny by a nameless stranger.

Remember this as perhaps the first lesson of Joseph’s life and the coming forth of the Book of Mormon. In spite of failure, mishap, and bitter opposition—and in many cases precisely because of those things—Joseph Smith got exactly where he needed to be to fulfill his mission. So, if now or on some future day, you look around and see that other perhaps less-devoted acquaintances are succeeding in their jobs when you just lost yours; if major illness puts you on your back just at the moment critical tasks of service seem to come calling; if a call to a prominent position goes to someone else; if a missionary companion seems to learn the language faster; if well-meaning efforts still somehow lead to disaster with a fellow ward member, a neighbor, or an investigator; if news from home brings word of financial setback or mortal tragedy you can do nothing about; or if, day after day, you simply feel like a bland and beaten background player in a gospel drama that really seems made for the happiness of others, just know this: many such things were the lot of Joseph Smith himself at the very moment he was being led to the stage of the single most transcendent thing to happen on this earth since the events of Golgotha and the Garden Tomb nearly 2,000 years earlier.

“But,” you may say, “my life and earthly destiny will never be like that of the Prophet Joseph.”

That probably is true. But it is also true that your lives do matter to God, and your eternal potential and that of every soul you will meet is no less grand and significant than that of the Prophet Joseph himself. Thus, just like our beloved Joseph, you must never give up, give in, or give out when life in general, or missionary work in particular, gets utterly painful, confusing, or dull. Rather, as Paul teaches, you must see that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28; emphasis added).

Just as He did with young Joseph Smith, God is shaping and directing you every single day to ends more glorious than you can know!"

My Shepherd in the Valley of the Shadow of Death

This scripture takes on new meaning as I move forward to put on a series of homeschool presentations today...with potential contractions all day long:

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Gratitude, healing and farewells

I really don't know where to start.  It has been so long and so much has happened.

However, I feel I need to express the gratitude in my heart for the many lives that have touched mine and continue to bless me.  As we prepare to move to New York, I have had the chance to spend some meaningful times with many of the people that make my life beautiful, that have inspired me throughout the years through their words and lives and some who continue to serve me and my family.

This has been particularly meaningful due to some recent experiences I have had, which I would like to share to preface my gratitude....

I went through a time in the past year where I felt people pull back in a period of my life where I felt I needed them the most.  I have spent a great deal of time over the months since then evaluating what my expectations are, what my part is, and how to move on and have healthy relationships with them.  These are people that I love, relationships I cherish...which is why it hurt all the more.  Whether the pulling back was real or imagined, the feelings I had were deep and real and needed to be addressed and dealt with for me to seek resolution and peace in moving forward...for I believe that relationships grow or die depending upon how we treat them.  And I knew the choice was mine...as "victim" as I felt.


I sought my ownership in these situations, knowing that my initial decision to just pull back and distance myself from them was not the answer. I had some people tell me that, in order to protect myself, perhaps I should just throw up walls and have a more casual interaction with them.  This did not feel right for my particular situation, as appreciated as their love and advice was for me.

I felt like I forgave these people mentally, knowing we are all human, but felt unable to move forward with love towards them.  Why...when it seemed pointless? It was as if it didn't feel like they loved me enough back to deserve the time and energy it took to give them my love and attention....crazy, but that was where I was at.

It was a selfish, dark, and most likely untrue place to be, but it was the reality of my thoughts and I felt stuck.  I knew I needed to change, but was unsure how much God expected of me or wanted of me.   It just seemed unfair.

It was not an easy process.  God never let me feel validated or content in my self-pity or perceived offenses.  During one particular Sacrament service, as I prayerfully sought for comfort and direction in the quiet moments my kids allowed me, I had a distinct answer: "It is not your love you are withholding from them, but Mine.  Charity, the pure love of Christ, is the love that you need to give them, the love that they need, the only love that truly lasts, and by withholding your loving actions and outreachings from them, you are sinning by withholding My love that they need to feel through you.  You are in the wrong, my child."  Like I said, it has not been an easy time.

However, in the process I have learned so much, much like the beautiful analogy I heard in Sunday School today of the moth.  An Imperialis moth struggles intensely to emerge from its cocoon to emerge as one of the most beautiful moths in the world.  A sympathetic biologist, watching the struggles of one such moth, sought to ease the transition by helping it out of the cocoon.  What emerged was malformed and unable to fly.  As he studied this magnificent creature more, he learned that it was in the process of the struggle that the moth's body was strengthened to enable it to emerge ready to fly.  We, too, need struggles to emerge.

One of the most important lessons I learned in this process was through a story shared from the Bible in the book "The Peacegiver" by Farrell.  I found an article that summarizes the story well:

Abigail: Life-Changing Symbol
I’ve read and heard the Old Testament story of Abigail’s offering to David many times over the years. (See 1 Samuel 25.) Still, I’d totally missed the deeper meaning that James L. Ferrell pointed out in his book The Peacegiver. You remember the story: David, who had recently done a great service to Nabal by securing his flocks, sent some of his men to request sustenance. Nabal “rails on them” and turns them away. David and his men, seething at the injustice, determine to march against his household and slay all the males. Abigail, Nabal’s wife, becomes privy to the plot, gathers great stores of food, and hastens to intervene. She approaches David, offering to make up for her husband’s affront to the men.
I always thought Abigail was being a really brave and loving wife to intercede with David in hopes of securing her husband’s safety. But there is so much more to it than that. Ferrell explains the symbolism as Abigail kneels before David and his men, and says, “Upon me let this iniquity be,” offering, as Christ does, to take another’s sin upon herself and, in her case, atone for it by offering many times the goods David had requested of her husband. But here is the kicker: Abigail’s concern is not only to save her husband and the men of her household, but to save David from doing this great wrong, to keep his previously unsullied soul safe. She said, “Please accept of my offering, that this shall be no grief unto thee.”
Inexplicably, she says, “forgive my trespass,” claiming the sin as her own. Abigail asked David’s forgiveness not because she needed it (she, like Jesus, had done nothing wrong) but because David needed to forgive instead of multiplying Nabal’s sin with his own. Through her merciful act Abigail created the most forgiveness-friendly environment possible. She offered to compensate for the sin David was raging against, full measure, running over-much more than he had originally asked for.

As Abigail Did for David, So Jesus Does for Us
Farrell explains that Jesus does the same with us in every situation where we are wronged by another; thus Abigail is the perfect “type” of the Savior’s merciful dealings with his children. 

 
There is a beautiful excerpt of the book quoted here that is quite lengthy and analyzes the situation perfectly, but in my own words, Abigail came out to pay the price that David demanded be paid.  David, at first, wanted Nabal to pay it...for wasn't that "fair"?  But Abigail paid the price in full, offering it to David.  Was it right for David to demand more?  If all that he desired was before him, was it right for David to demand it was Nabal that paid it?

I saw clearly in my mind that that Savior is offering me all the love, nurturing, friendship and support that I desire...and more, in fact.  Just because it is not coming from the people that I felt should be giving it to me, fully aware mentally that perhaps they were not able to at that time because of one thing or another, was it right for me to demand more?  Could I look the Savior in the eye and say, "What you are giving me is just not good enough"?  He has paid the price for any sin, perceived or real, that others may do to me and offers everything I need and more if I will but accept it...just as David had the choice to accept Abigail's offering.  If I didn't, just as would have happened if David had moved forward to extract "justice" from Nabal, I would have the sins of vengeance and unrighteously-enacted "justice" upon my own head.

After reading this story, each time I would feel those negative ugly "justified" feelings, I would see this story in my mind, with the Savior reaching out, offering me the peace, support and love I craved and see my own part in accepting or rejecting his sacrifice.  Who was I to demand more than the incredible price He has already paid?  The peace that came was incredible and inexplicable...much like at the time of my dear Isaak's death: truly a peace that surpasseth understanding.

In the days and weeks that have followed that experience I have felt peace and a renewed ability to love and open myself up again. I have been blessed by the Savior's offering as he blesses us so often--through the actions and words of others :).  I have had lunches, phone calls, service rendered, conversations and emails, filling my cup to capacity and more.  To feel the contrast with the time when I felt so alone has truly helped me appreciate the dear friendships I have...the Savior's offering to my broken, lonely heart.

I have seen my own pride, my own imperfections, my own false judgment laid bare and have sought repentence and perspective to not retrace those mental tracks that were so lonely.  I have not been the martyr.  I have not been the victim.  For whatever reason, it was a time for me to emerge from the chrysallis of judgment, of bitterness to fly above my previous mental state.  It was time for me to realize yet another aspect of Christ's infinite and powerful atonement and how it can truly allow Him to take my burden upon Him and for mine to feel light.

Since then, in these recent interactions with friends and family, I have been blessed to be able to reflect on the many beautiful and wonderful people that have been a part of my life.  I feel it is a time of temporary farewell, but more permanent than when we went to Hungary.  My heart swells with love as I see so many imperfect wonderful people reaching out to, loving and serving imperfect me...in spite of my own short-comings and ways I have surely offended them.

During this time between when we have sold our house here in Utah and are ready to get into our house in New York, we have been blessed to stay with my parents, with Quinn's parents, are now staying in the basement of a dear friend while her family is on vacation (brave soul!), and will then go to visit another dear friend in time to give birth to the newest member of our family.  We have had so many random and planned meetings with good people that I feel more complete in our saying "farewell for now" to our time here.  I thought the saying below particularly appropriate:

Oh, how much I appreciate these dear people as part of Christ's offering to heal me.

Socialism and Plumbing :)

I have studied a great deal about history and there has never been a time when a socialist program, however ideal-looking, has worked the way it says it's going to.  If men were angels, sure.  We could live a higher law when we all just grow, take, or eat what we need (not want) and then share the rest.  To force men, to redistribute it for them--that is to take the power to do so and place it into the hands of falliable men, men who once endowed with that power and those resources, do not always deliver in a very angelic way.

Socialism has always ended the same way.  Why do we think we will be any different?

I really enjoyed this analysis of our country's recent "venture" into socialism: Obamacare.

Only weeks after leaving office on Jan. 20, 2017, former President Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Troy the Plumber to come out and fix it.
Troy drives to Obama’s new house, which is located in a very exclusive, gated community near Chicago where all the residents have a net income of way more than $250,000 per year.
Troy arrives and takes his tools into the house. He is led to the guest bathroom that contains the leaky pipe under the sink. Troy assesses the problem and tells Obama that it’s an easy repair that will take less than 10 minutes. Obama asks Troy how much it will cost. Troy checks his rate chart and says, “$9,500.”
“What?! $9,500?!” Obama asks, stunned, “But you said it’s an easy repair. Michelle will whip me if I pay a plumber that much!”

Troy says, “Yes, but what I do is charge those who make more than $250,000 per year a much higher amount so I can fix the plumbing of poorer people for free. This has always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied the Democrat Congress, who passed this philosophy into law. Now all plumbers must do business this way. It’s known as the ‘Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014′. I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it.” In spite of that, Obama tells Troy there’s no way he’s paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Troy leaves. Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book calling for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses in the area have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Troy’s price, Obama does nothing and the leak goes un-repaired for several more days. A week later the leak is so bad Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink.
Michelle is not happy as she has Oprah and guests arriving the next morning. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there’s a risk the room will flood, so Obama calls Troy and pleads with him to return.
Troy goes back to Obama’s house, looks at the leaky pipe, checks his new rate chart and says, “Let’s see, this will now cost you $21,000.”
Obama quickly fires back, “What? A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!”
Troy explains, “Well, because of the ‘Affordable Plumbing Act,’ a lot of wealthier people are learning how to maintain and take care of their own plumbing, so there are fewer payers in the plumbing exchanges.
As a result, the price I have to charge wealthy people like you keeps rising. Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work by those who get it for free has skyrocketed!
There’s a long waiting list of those who need repairs, but the amount we get doesn’t cover our costs, especially paperwork and record-keeping. This unfortunately has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, they’re not being replaced, and nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they can’t make any money at it.
I’m hurting too, all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won’t pay their ‘fair share’. On the other hand, why didn’t you buy plumbing insurance last December? If you had bought plumbing insurance available under the ‘Affordable Plumbing Act,’ all this would have been covered by your policy.”
“You mean I wouldn’t have to pay anything to have you fix my plumbing problem?” asks Obama.
“Well, not exactly,” replies Troy. “You would have had to buy the insurance before the deadline, which has passed now. And, because you’re rich, you would have had to pay $34,000 in premiums, which would have given you a ‘silver’ plan, and then, since this would have been your first repair, you would have to pay up to the $21,000 deductible, and anything over that would have a $7,500 co-pay, and then there’s the mandatory maintenance program, which is covered up to 17.5%, so there are some costs involved. Nothing is for free.”
“WHAT?!” exclaims Obama. “Why so much for a puny sink leak?!”
With a bland look, Troy replies, “Well, paperwork, mostly, like I said. And the internal cost of the program itself. You don’t think a program of this complexity and scope can run itself, do you?
Besides, there are millions of folks with lower incomes than you, even many in the ‘middle class’, who qualify for subsidies that people like you must support.

That’s why they call it the ‘Affordable Plumbing Act’! Only people who don’t make much money can afford it. If you want affordable plumbing, you’ll have to give away most of what you have accumulated and cut your and Michelle’s income by about 90%. Then you can qualify to get your ‘Fair Share’ instead of giving it.” “But who would pass a crazy act like the ‘Affordable Plumbing Act’?!” exclaims the exasperated Obama.
After a sigh, Troy replies, “Congress… because they didn’t read it.” (link to source)

While I don't agree with all the comments and context found in the link above, the analogy was appropriate.  Makes one think, anyway, and I love to think!

Character and the American Commitment to the Greater Good

 The following is just to beautiful to not share. I believe that our America today still has many of these virtues, these ideals, this character.  We just need to rise up and use it.

(The following is a excerpt from "A Patriot's History of the United States" which is actually available online at http://uscrow.org/downloads/A%20Patriots%20History%20of%20the%20US%20-%20Ytsewolf.pdf which is where I obtained a copy of this longish quote so I didn't have to type it :)...)

Throughout much of the twentieth century, there was a subtle and, at times, obvious campaign to
separate virtue from talent, to divide character from success. The latest in this line of attack is the
emphasis on diversity—that somehow merely having different skin shades or national origins
makes America special. But it was not the color of the skin of people who came here that made
them special, it was the content of their character. America remains a beacon of liberty, not merely
because its institutions have generally remained strong, its citizens free, and its attitudes tolerant,
but because it, among most of the developed world, still cries out as a nation, “Character counts.”
Personal liberties in America are genuine because of the character of honest judges and attorneys
who, for the most part, still make up the judiciary, and because of the personal integrity of large
numbers of local, state, and national lawmakers.

No society is free from corruption. The difference is that in America, corruption is viewed as the
exception, not the rule. And when light is shown on it, corruption is viciously attacked. Freedom
still attracts people to the fountain of hope that is America, but freedom alone is not enough.
Without responsibility and virtue, freedom becomes a soggy anarchy, an incomplete licentiousness.
This is what has made Americans different: their fusion of freedom and integrity endows
Americans with their sense of right, often when no other nation in the world shares their perception.
Yet that is as telling about other nations as it is our own; perhaps it is that as Americans, we alone
remain committed to both the individual and the greater good, to personal freedoms and to public
virtue, to human achievement and respect for the Almighty. Slavery was abolished because of the
dual commitment to liberty and virtue—neither capable of standing without the other. Some
crusades in the name of integrity have proven disastrous, including Prohibition. The most recent
serious threats to both liberty and public virtue (abuse of the latter damages both) have come in the
form of the modern environmental and consumer safety movements. Attempts to sue gun makers,
paint manufacturers, tobacco companies, and even Microsoft “for the public good” have made
distressingly steady advances, encroaching on Americans’ freedoms to eat fast foods, smoke, or
modify their automobiles, not to mention start businesses or invest in existing firms without fear of
retribution.

The Founders—each and every one of them—would have been horrified at such intrusions on
liberty, regardless of the virtue of the cause, not because they were elite white men, but because
such actions in the name of the public good were simply wrong. It all goes back to character: the
best way to ensure virtuous institutions (whether government, business, schools, or churches) was
to populate them with people of virtue. Europe forgot this in the nineteenth century, or by World
War I at the latest. Despite rigorous and punitive face-saving traditions in the Middle East or Asia,
these twin principles of liberty and virtue have never been adopted. Only in America, where one
was permitted to do almost anything, but expected to do the best thing, did these principles
germinate.

To a great extent, that is why, on March 4, 1801, John Adams would have thought of nothing other
than to turn the White House over to his hated foe, without fanfare, self-pity, or complaint, and
return to his everyday life away from politics. That is why, on the few occasions where very thin
electoral margins produced no clear winner in the presidential race (such as 1824, 1876, 1888,
1960, and 2000), the losers (after some legal maneuvering, recounting of votes, and occasional
whining) nevertheless stepped aside and congratulated the winner of a different party. Adams may
have set a precedent, but in truth he would do nothing else. After all, he was a man of character.

Service distinguishes

Today is Wednesday, our Eureka day.  Eureka is a concept that we seek to discover truth using both inductive and deductive reasoning...scientific and mathematical.  I like to seek for evidences of truth of the principle we are studying on this day, so today this is what I used:

First we discussed the two great commandments and how all other commandments are "hinged" on them:
-to love God
-to love our neighbors as ourselves
We used reasoning to show how the 10 commandments are simply ways to honor those two.

Then I brought into the discussion the section in Matthew 25 where the King is separating the righteous and the unrighteous...simply based upon the acts of service they rendered to their fellow man.  I had the younger group act out each act of service as I read it and you could see the emotion on their faces change as they acted out serving verses withholding their services. (This is a great video about this that we had watched before but I did end up bringing it into the "older" group...The Old Shoemaker by Tolstoy.)

I then showed the following two clips:

"Love thy Neighbor"

The first was a witness of the truthfulness of the joy that comes from giving selfless service dn the second an example of it.

It is truly service that will distinguish our righteousness, our willingness to love and obey God.  As leaders, like in "The Old Shoemaker," we must keep our eyes lifted for opportunities to serve, opportunities to visit with our Savior, even as we work.  The opportunities will not always come knocking at our door.

*Sorry if this is a duplicate posting for some of you...it fits both with "my thoughts" (Lazarus blog) and "homeschooling ideas" (Homeschooling is for the Bees blog).

The first law of sacrifice

Yesterday for devotional, we watched Christ and the rich young ruler.  Pipalicious was bothered that even though the rich man had kept all the commandments, Christ said he couldn't get to heaven unless he gave away all his money too.  "Isn't he a good man?" she asked.

It is a good question. I have had it on my mind much since then.  I have thought about how we can do so much, but if we keep anything back, or make anything more important to us than what God asks us to do, it will keep us back.

I remember an old saying from my youth: "Christ doesn't really ask us to sacrifice anything: he simply asks us to give up our old tattered cloak for a new and glorious one."  This morning I read about Adam and Eve and how the first thing they were asked to do upon leaving the garden of Eden was to offer up sacrifices. I thought about the necessity in the Law of Moses to offer up the firstlings of the flock.  In my mind I realized that I had always thought that a shepherd would have a whole bunch of sheep and then take the first one that had been born and sacrifice that.  This is not the case.  They would offer the first one before they knew that any more sheep were coming...the first one without blemish.

Abraham was commanded to sacrifice Isaac, his link to the promise of "seed without number":

Why is it, when we are doing so much, that God still asks us to sacrifice?  Could it be because we are caught up in lesser things and He wants to free us of that?  Like in the first video linked above, Christ promises that with God, all things are possible: accumulation of wealth, good health, children, time, etc.

Upon reflection on the rich young man's situation, I realized that Christ never said that "you will never have wealth again."  He just asked him to give it up for now.  In fact, I know that the earth is the Lord's and all the bounty therein.  Who knows but that immediately upon giving up his all to the poor that he wouldn't have had a multitude of blessings pour out to fill all his needs, taking away the burden of obsessing about wealthy and acquiring it?

It make me wonder, what comes first in my life?  What does He want me to sacrifice?  Does God and His will truly come first in my life, or, like the rich young man, do I hold things back as well?

There is also that scripture that keeps floating in my mind: "to obey is better than to sacrifice"...hmmmm. Definitely food for thought.

Warning: Science as a religion

I am a scientist at heart.  I love the spirit of inquiry, the spirit of creative exploration that comes with it!  The true scientists doesn't take other people's observations at face value, but asks "how?" and "why?"

However, that is not the spirit in which science is being taught to millions of students and adults, the "congregation" of the religion of science.  Sure, to "ask questions, discover, explore!" is paid lip-service, but is that really what is being taught?

Imagine, a child sitting down to a science test in grade school, writing down the "wrong" answer, and then telling the teacher that, based on his own observations, he doesn't believe the "current interpretation of the evidence" and believes his answer could be right.

What would that child be told?  In most cases, I submit, this would be the response: "You are wrong.  It has been scientifically proven."

Don't believe me?  What would happen if you went into an elementary classroom and said that it was possible the dinosaurs did not in fact roam the earth, but that their presence in the archeaological record is due to our earth being comprised of the matter of other, extinct worlds, where dinosaurs had roamed?  Does that fly in the face of current scientific "dogma," or what has been accepted as scientifically proven?

Dangerously powerful words, "scientifically proven."  Words that teach to not question, but to accept...and to accept that which is so often proven wrong in a matter or years or even hours!

Think about it.  What happens when a "ground-breaking new idea!" comes out in the field of science?  Textbooks and tests world-wide are re-written, articles are published, and the scientific "facts" are changed...that easily.    Scientists may understand and embrace the difference between theory and law, but that is not how it is presented.  Millions accept anything "scientific" instantly as the latest "fact" in the religion of science.  The "foundations" of science are so easily changed...and so faithfully believed.

That is what happened in 1935 when Japanese physicist Hideki Yukawa changed our currently accepted understanding of the atom.  He challenged, interpreted, and creatively spun a new twist on an old theory and voila! New "truth" was found and mesons became part of our current model.

In a more personal example, I remember distinctly holding my first child in my arms 17 years ago and being firmly instructed by nurse clothed in the mantle of authority that I must, for the good of my baby, be very careful to clean her umbilical cord in a specific and regular manner.

Fast forward 12 years and I found myself in the same situation: cradling a new infant in my arms and being told firmly and authoritatively that I must not touch the umbilical cord in the best interest of my child.

It had been "scientifically proven" both times.

Now, don't get me wrong.  Remember, I love science!  I love the pursuit of truths and patterns in the world around me!  However, I am concerned with how it is being taught to the public at large: theories as facts.  As a grade schooler, I was taught "facts" about dinosaurs and evolution.  In junior high and high school, the depth of indoctrination went deeper with "truths" and "facts" being taught and tested into me.

Lo and behold, I hit Yale University Evolution 260 and all of a sudden these "facts" become theories?  Why was I not taught the problems with and options to radiocarbon dating?  Why was I not clearly schooled in the difference between mirco-evolution (changes of a creature to adapt to their environment--well documented) and macro-evolution (the change from one species to another--never "documented")? How could I not see that the "evidence" for evolution of years past was the same small collection of bones, being re-discussed and re-visited with new sub-theories, with specimen so far and in between that they are individually named?

Remember, I call myself a scientist (although after reading this, I am sure some would love to differ :)...).  I love discussing evolution and other scientific theories!  I think it is exciting to consider possibilities!  However, I am frustrated that those who would like to explore all possibilities of man and his origins and explanations for the world around us are shouted down as "religionists" and figuratively burned at the stake. 

For instance, I just read the commentaries on an article titled "Creationism vs. Evolution" for a science class the other day--the commentaries, not so much of the article itself, ironically enough. Even if you don't understand everything they discuss in the commentaries, the mood is obvious. The words used to verbally attack those who tried to share the viewpoint of "creationism" (belief that God created the university) were similar to those I imagine used by the authorities of the Catholic Church who attacked Galileo and Copernicus...ironically enough.  They were attacks based largely upon belief systems and not facts, from people indoctrinated in the "authority" of the "religion of science" that is currently preached and never questioned. 

Interesting.  The beliefs of the "religion of science" are questioned, but not the authority of it.  Hmmm...an interesting riddle.  Food for thought.

My purpose in writing this is to hopefully wake people up to what they are being taught through media and in the academic world, subconsciously and religiously: that science can prove anything and is the ultimate source of truth...science, which is built upon the observations and limited perception of imperfect people like you and I. 

I celebrate science and what that field has discovered and how it has blessed my life.  However, I do not believe everything that is "scientifically proven" at face value.   Nor should we complacently accept what modern science demands of our children and the public at large: childlike faith and belief in anything it offers.