Family History Procrastinated Project

I have been putting this off. I need to write...and just write.

I have had so many things that God has given me to learn lately:

-Trust
-Obey
-Write
-Share
-Stop
-Savor

I have seen how he blesses me with the fruits of obedience. The way he can enlarge my capacity and my day is incredible.

Things I have learned lately:
-I need to love my children when they need it and then trust and do God's work when He needs me to...and let them go.  He will help me balance it and provide the nurturing (often through each other) that they need.
-I need to only go online if I have a specific focus...and I need to stick with that focus.
-I finally did the first step of my family history project that God told me to do:

You can see that I accidentally didn't review what pictures I had printed up before ordering them....and got one with just Quinn's dad and not his mom!  Argh. I have already started sketching one of the two of them to match the one of my parents on the other side.

Anyway, the vision of this arrangement came when I had prayed several years ago (before Hungary) what I should do for family history.  This was the answer.  For the last several years I have doubted and put off this project: aesthetically, ostentations---ly...you name it. It just seemed wrong.  Nice one, Martin Harris.  No. The right answer is just obey.

So I finally did.  As I started getting them out and putting them in frames (I printed them up a few years ago), my kids were drawn to them.  They even helped with the sticky note labels to make sure we know who is who! (Pattern: second generation back- husbands above and women "tucked below their heart" beneath; third generation back-men's parents above immediately to the side, women's parents below immediately to the side.)

To see the family faces and similarities between them and ourselves has been fun.  Next step is to get stories printed up for each one (and see if I can get those last few missing pictures) and put them behind inside the box frame.  Now the kids will know who we are referring to...and more.  There is something special about this project, although Liliputian teases me about this being our "staring room" now. (We have our family pics on the other side.)

It is as if I hear their voices saying: learn more about us.  Listen.  Learn.  inow we love you.  We are real. We are part of who you are.  It is really something else.

I don't share this because I think anyone else should do their family history this way.  I just share it to show how unique our paths to family history can be and to trust that God knows the best one for us.

And I share it to encourage whoever needs it that it is never too late to start those projects the Lord has for you.

Personal Parenting Lessons,...again :)

I have had some serious parenting lessons learned lately.

#1  Step Back

One is that I need to step back and let my children feel the Spirit teaching them consequences. I speak the truth, reminding them of whatever thing they have done wrong, and then let them feel the Spirit teach, guide or rebuke.  Sometimes, I just need to tell them I love them and the Spirit will do the rest.

Now, this runs very, very counter-intuitive to what I believe I must do: show or make sure the kids know what the consequences are for wrong behavior.  They hit their sibling, they are in time out.

I have noticed an odd phenomenon, though, over the years.  The one who is being "defended" by my disciplining will almost always turn to the disciplined one to comfort them.  Almost always.  That is a lot of times.  And the one being disciplined typically turns resentment towards the victim. I hate it!

Case in point of why I need to step back more:  yesterday, Papaya hit Spooner for something, I know not what.  They were playing with blocks.  Spooner(3) came down the stairs, wailing with older, defending sibling in tow, explaining her view of the situation.  Papaya was called forth by the mother, issuer of discipline.  As I looked at the defensive and angry bundle of emotion that was Papaya (5) sitting on the stairs, the injunction of the Spirit came (as it has so many times before): tell her you love her.

Unlike so many times before, I did just that.

She melted, wept, said "sorry" to her brother, who quickly forgave her and they went back to playing...all without the typical repercussions. Hmmm...

As I write this, the scripture: "reprove betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Spirit..." comes to mind.  How sad that I have only held back my sharp reproof when moved upon, rather than vice-versa.  Hmmmm...

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#2 Obey God
This lesson has been harder.

I have had a challenge with my kids with two behaviors that can really be summed up into one problem: disobedience.

One child will apparently deliberately put off what I tell them to do or do it their own way.

Another child will move forward with the heart-felt intention to obey, but will get easily distracted in very noble causes.  Can I tell you how hard it is to get frustrated with a child who will not finish cleaning the kitchen because he is making his little brothers squeal with joy?  Somehow, I manage.

Anyway, let's now look at me.  I received the inspiration years ago....  (Yes, I typed that correctly: years ago.)  ...years ago to organize, print up and display our ancestors on our wall. I was inspired by Quinn's sister Heidi and her dedication to displaying and researching our ancestors.  That tickle was placed there years before the specific inspiration and when I prayed how to act on it, the resulting inspiration was specific.  And rather direct.

"Print up pictures (this way).  Put them up on your wall (this way).  Do it.  Now."

Well, I thought that was cool and immediately began reasoning why the way I was shown would be unreasonable and impractical. Surely, I thought, there was a better way.  Or that would be silly.  Or it would just take too much work.

When I finally "got on board" several inspiration commands later, I started moving forward...and got distracted.  And got distracted.  And got distracted.

Sound familiar.

Lately, as I have first prayed, "what lack I yet?" and then tried to act on being more obedient and trusting (my answer), I have heard my own admonitions and reproofs to my own children echoing in my head:

--just trust me and do it my way!
--I have stewardship over this house and have a vision of what needs to be done...just obey!
--if you can learn how to just act and not get distracted, however worthy the distraction, you will go so far!
--I know that what you are doing is good (and I am glad that you are at least doing something good if you are not doing what I want you to do!), but the work really needs to get done...so just do it.

As I am finally hanging those pictures I printed up four years ago and have moved...and moved...and moved, my children are helping.  Pipalicious (9) looked at the pictures as we were putting them in frames.  "Mom, what is his name?  I know him."  She made several other comments like that:

---"I feel so peaceful looking at them."
--"I want to know more about them."
--"They look so familiar."

Oh, what have I been missing.  My compassion/empathy for my "disobedient" children has increased as I have recognized my patterns in them.  My desire to be more trusting has increased manifold as I have been the loving parent with a greater vision trying to help my children do what really needs to be done at the moment, however worthy the distraction.

My own sense of "priority" of what is the highest good may definitely be called into question: sometimes I am sure that playing with the littles is more important and this same lovingly distracted 11 year old is one of the most diligent assistants to his father in work projects...so I know he knows how to focus and work!

However, God's sense of the highest good is done from a perfect, loving and eternal perspective:  all-knowing in fact.  Time to trust.

What lies in store

A lady in church today said, "I bet Joseph Smith had no idea what was in store for him when he offered up that simple prayer."  But he acted on faith.  He kept moving forward. He kept the faith.

She also pointed out that the angel messenger appeared with the same message four times when he was 17.  I loved how she put it: "Hey.  He was 17. We all don't get it the first time, let alone when we are 17 :).  15 years later, Joseph Smith was still asking for clarification. Some things just take time."

This combined message of "timing" and "faith" spoke straight to my heart.

Quotes from "Discovering Isaac"

"Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced that we are loved: loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
--"Les Miserables" by Victor Hugo

"Joy, in all its glory, can only be obtained through unselfishness"
--"Discovering Isaac" by Behunin

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." --Joseph Campbell 

And I would add, "...the life that God has waiting for us." 

 The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own."

--Benjamin Disraeli

 

"Don't be discouraged by failure. It can be a positive experience.  Failure is,in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterwards carefully avoid."

--John Keats

 

Stop and Savor

I was thinking yesterday about time, how there are so many good things that I want to do :)!

"God can slow down time, if He wants to," I thought, thinking of the war in the Bible where the sun was slowed and stopped in it's place.

"Right now," the answer came, "your job is to pick one and savor it."

Immediately, the book we have been reading as a family, the "Remembering Isaac" series by Behunin came to mind, the story of a potter.  A very slow story.  One book takes up about 2 weeks of the character's life.  But it is a beautiful story and very interesting. It is truly an author savoring his tale as he unfolds it, full of truth and meaning.  The potter lives a very simple life and I think that is what I am to be learning from it during this reading...the beauty of simplicity.  Wow. This is unfortunately going to be a hard lesson for me and one that may take some time.

Another character in the book comments about the art of pottery, how it takes time moreso than most art forms.  It just takes time.  People had come to the previous potter to watch him work, to talk, to learn from his quiet wisdom.  The new potter, Jake, learns from these stories considers whether this is the life he wants to choose.  This whole book is about choices: choices learned from and choices to make.

God truly is the potter and we all are the work of His hands.  As we strive to become like Him, we take our own lives and slowly shape it.  Some parts require firing.  Some require sitting.  And some parts require motion and action and shaping.  I guess it helps to try and recognize what our seasons are:

 1 To every thing there is a ^aseason, and a ^btime to every purpose under the heaven:
 2 A ^atime to be born, and a time to ^bdie; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
 4 A time to weep, and a time to ^alaugh; a time to ^bmourn, and a time to dance;
 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
 6 A time to ^aget, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
 7 A time to ^arend, and a time to sew; a time to keep^bsilence, and a time to speak;
 8 A time to love, and a time to ^ahate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he^alaboureth?
 10 I have seen the ^atravail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be ^bexercised in it.
 11 He hath made every thing ^abeautiful in his time: also^bhe hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the ^cwork that God maketh from the beginning to the end.