I am enough...

I have been struggling to get "ready" for this new year, feeling like, if I just "did a little more", I would be what I need to be. However, as I step back and look at it, my expectations of what I need to do to be "ready", is huge. For the past few weeks, I have silently despaired and outwardly stressed out in response.

I know that Heavenly Father wants me to be doing this right now, but I also know He doesn't want me to live my life in a constant state of panic, stress, or feelings of "not-enoughness"! So how can I do what I need to do, and still have peace? I need to trust, trust that what I have to offer is exactly what He needs and knew I was capable of.

Yesterday in Relief Society, I felt like the following closing statement from the recent LDS General Conference talk by D. Todd Christofferson was spoken directly to me, and it pierced me to the very core:

"May God sustain you in your striving to meet His high expectations and grant you a full measure of the happiness and peace that naturally follow."

If I can embrace with faith His chosen path for me, truly following His spiritual guidance, I can trust that it is enough. I am enough.

Vengeance is mine, thus saith the...mom?

Yesterday, once again, I had a situation in my home where one child took it upon themselves to be the judge and the one who punishes. Something was not right, and, by golly, they were going to make sure that the person in error was going to pay!

I was so frustrated! I knew the situation better, I knew the children involved better, and I knew the best way to teach/discipline them in such a way that it would be less likely to happen again. As in many cases before, I wish that the other kids would stay out of it. Their sense of "justice" and "punishment" tends to make things a whole lot worse--not to mention, there is absolutely no mercy or love involved.

As I fumed and stewed about what to do, I was struck by a thought. How much more must Heavenly Father, our God in Heaven, regret when we stick our oars in, "righting the wrongs" of those around us, when it is really none of our business? He knows the people involved better than we do, He knows the situations, and He knows the best way to teach them, yet, somehow, we seem to think He needs our help to enact His righteous justice.

Of course we need to judge righteously, but (as my incredible husband put it) we don't condemn. Very seldom in the history of the world does the Lord actually use people to step in as His divine hand of vengeance.

It made me think about how sometimes I probably make things a lot worse when I allow myself to judge, condemn, and punish. How do I "punish"? Shunning, excluding, snide comments, unkind thoughts, nights of planning out "what I should say or do" when I next interact with that person so I can "teach them a lesson" or "show them the right way."

Anyway, it helped me see a different perspective, because I could see first-hand in my parent mini-world how frustrating it might be for Heavenly Father to see us hurt each other, those whom He loves so dearly, and for whom He really knows what is best.

Cool thought from Tovacula

My darling daughter shared with me the following cool thought from her reading this morning: A Chinese paleotologist came to a conclusion about some fossils found in China. An American was upset by his conclusion, and this was the Chinese man's response: "In China we can criticize Darwin, and not the government. In America, you can criticize the government, but not Darwin."

Hmmm....food for thought....

Liberty and God

I just read a book called "The Silence of God" about an LDS family in Russia during the transition time from the Romanov's to the communists/socialists. It has made me think a great deal about the noble ideals of communism/socialism, and why it doesn't seem to work. One concept in the book really struck me: government and men do not have power to change men's hearts, only God does, and that kind of society can only work with people with changed hearts.

There are so many similarities between communism and the law of consecration, but with some fundamental differences.

I found a scripture that helped me remember what the essential one is: 2 Corinthians 3:17: "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty."

In every socialistic society I have studied/heard about, there is an attempt to banish all traces of God from society. Why is that?

p.s. I realize I have used the terms "socialism" and "communism" seemingly interchangeably, but I recently learned that socialism is a political vehicle for communism, which is a economic ideal, so felt my use of them in this post probably worked all right :).

p.p.s. I also recently learned that "alright" is not actually a word, according to "Painless Grammar" author Rebecca Elliot...go figure! "Afterwards" is also not a word. Hmmm....

p.p.p.s. I also learned how to spell "grammar" with an "a" instead of "grammer" with an "e". Mary really is growing up! Maybe someday she will know what a "cavity" is, as well as not to get into cars with little old men strangers on 2nd North in downtown Salt Lake City? Stories for another day...

Mary's growing up...

Everyone, I have an announcement to make...

I have learned how to export a file in PDF format so I can send attachments that people can actually open! Woohoo for me!

Someday, when I am really cool I will be just like my friend, Marni, who seems to know how to do all those things in her sleep :).

Cutting my Hollyhocks

I have some purple mini-hollyhocks (I think that's what they are...) that grow next to my front porch. The first year they grew, I loved their purple blooms! In fact, as they grew older and older and decayed before my eyes, I refused to cut them, holding on to what I thought was my last chance to enjoy them for the year. Finally, they were such a huge eyesore, that I decided to finally cut them.

Lo and behold! I found a few weeks later (now well into fall) that they were growing again! I could have cut them back much earlier and actually had another set of beautiful blooms instead of watching the old ones wither, die, and then just look plain ugly for a while :).

So now, each year, as soon as they start withering, I cut them down at the base.

As I saw the regrowth happening now in my flower bed after cutting them back a few weeks ago, I was struck by an analogy. There have been times when I have felt "cut back", kind of like I had to start over again. It hurt, it was miserable, and it seemed like it was happening when I was doing my darn'd-est to keep on growing and doing my best.

It made me think about how there are seasons in our lives, seasons for growing, and seasons for starting over, or even just hibernating for a while :). Sometimes we cannot just keep growing, growing, growing, pushing ourselves to just "keep it up". When we do that, we can look just plain ugly like this hollyhock bush by my door.

It made me wonder, what seasons do I have? Do I keep pushing myself when I should be going back to basics?

And then, I thought, do I have faith when life seems to "cut me back"? When everything seems to drop out of the bottom, as it were? Do I see it as time to consider, time for regrowth, or do I whine and complain?

Then, --as so often seems to happen when I have something on my mind-- this morning I came across a scripture in 2 Corinthians 4 that seemed to teach me a little more about having faith in times of trial...
15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the ^athanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the ^ainward man is renewed day by day.

17 For our light ^aaffliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and ^beternal ^cweight of glory;

How cool is that! Now, I just need to learn from it and enjoy my seasons more, right?

Funny!

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
~Miss Piggy~

Thanks, Peggy, for sharing this one!

The Great and Abominable...school?

After months of joking around about the junior high being built across the street, months of feeling just a bit miffed at the "great and spacious building" that replaced the idyllic view we had before of pasture and silo, months of grumbling to neighbors about all the hassle, noise, and dirt that has kicked up from the construction, I have come to a decision...

...but let me go back a little!

Last Sunday in church, we were taking the opportunity to introduce ourselves since we just split our ward. My neighbors took the chance to voice their extreme discontent about the junior high and I was able to hear how bitter and selfish it sounded. Sure, it has been a hassle, but the area really needs it and there really isn't a very good place for it.

So, my decision, stop grumbling and look for the good side! My kids have a sidewalk to ride and walk on instead of the side of the road; we have fields to play on; my kids can catch Seminary and Orchestra if we want to when they get to that age; and...well, that's about all I can think about for me, but the benefits to most of our community far outweigh my little inconveniences.

And isn't that what living in a society is all about? Tolerance of what is tolerable, finding the good in what we can, and picking our battles for those that really matter.

A little bit of Heaven

I went to Millhollow two weeks ago with my family: primitive camping, too! As I walked from the campground to the lake, as I watched my children play in the stream, as I sat and rubbed shoulders with my amazing extended Buchanan family, I thought, "This must be what Heaven is like." The meadows full of blooming flowers, the pines, the water, the people, the laughing, the living, the struggling, the back to basic feel of it all--it was incredible. I was heartbroken to get back home and was more depressed than I have been for a while, but I was glad for a glimpse of heaven that week.

"Why me?"

I have often thought, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” or “Why me?” This morning it dawned on me: that is the plan that we chose! Satan's plan is a life of ease and predictability, one of no “hitches” with a safe re-entry into heaven...exactly as we left it. We wanted to be tested, just as Kel does in his schooling :) (which I at first thought was a little crazy!) , wanted to be proven, to grow, to experience...and how can we do that if nothing ever goes wrong? Not only does God need to allow the consequences of the bad choices of our fellow man to take effect, to hold them accountable and hopefully teach them, but we need those experiences to prove ourselves, learn and grow...to feel the difference between the bitter and the sweet. We wanted that choice, with all the accountability that goes with it :). He could stop every bad thing from happening to every person if he wanted to, but that is not the plan we signed up for.
Of course that doesn't make it any easier...it doesn't make me say, "Bring it on!" but it reassures me of the love of God even in hard times...that while He may not take away the pain and suffering, I can still feel Him there, loving me and supporting me through my test.

charity never faileth!

I had a thought about charity. A couple weeks ago, in Relief Society, we had a lesson on Charity. In it, it said that in order to become Charitable, we need to learn more about Christ, who is the embodiment of charity. So I committed to read the whole New Testament, as kind of a personal commitment to Heavenly Father, with a prayer that He will help me become more charitable. It has been amazing how little snippets of the definition of “Charity” found in Moroni 7 (which I also read every day) float through my mind in different situations: “charity seeketh not her own”, “charity is not puffed up”, “charity beareth all things”. When I mentally chose to accept those definitions, it has been amazing the peace I feel.

I was struck this morning by something about charity. In all those definitions that feel so hard to do sometimes, not one of them is under the control of someone else. It doesn't say, “charity will not get hurt”, “charity will not have people say mean things to her”, etc. We each have complete control over whether we will have charity or not! And, charity will never fail! All things must fail, but charity never will! Think of that! Something that will never let us down, never “not work”--whether in parenting, relationships, friendships, callings, etc...it will never fail us.

However, this is daunting, because it can be so hard to have charity. So what a comfort it is that in Moroni, after listing all the things that charity is, outlining the hard path and setting the high standard, there is the verse of comfort: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.” Charity can be a gift that God gives us, who are sometimes so lacking in being able to be charitable! But we have to want it, praying for all the energy of heart.

Fundamentals of my parenting, self, and homeschooling

This posting is in response to Claudia :)...these personal fundamentals have come after years of studying and trying and failing...may you learn from my mistakes! (I would love to hear other people's "fundamentals"!) And you can just substitute "fundamental" for "ideal", as I am far from perfect at doing any of these...

-Read the Book of Mormon with your family every day. (Read Pres. Benson's promises on that...)

-Bear testimony often.

-You always have time for scripture study (even a verse!) and prayer. Do it every morning.

-Pray that you may be sufficient to do what needs to be done, that what little you can do, you may do, and then know that whatever you have to offer, if you follow your answer, will be enough...you will be enough, despite and sometimes even because of your imperfections (see the story about the "cracked pot" on this blog.)

-Hand in hand with that one, live by the Spirit. As you are "anxiously engaged in a good cause" (D&C 58:26-27) you may do everything you can and then stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the hand of the Lord as He completes His work, (D&C 123:17) which is what our children are :), as well as ourselves.

-You will never be "done". :) Enjoy the journey. The house will get messy again, so use the "clean up the room" time as a time to teach or bond, not just to try to maintain (although sometimes, for myself, I do it because I like it :)...)

-Each one of my children is a genius...it may just look different or unimportant to the rest of the world (i.e. Lily is a nurturer..an amazing one) (See "Parenting your Ephraim's Child" and Oliver DeMille's talk about the eighth key..."secure not stressed" and "genius mentality".)

-If we emphasize academics in Core phase, we are telling our children that that is what their self-worth is based upon. (Janine Bolon)

-Work is central to our happiness (see article on Family Work, BYU magazine Spring 2000). We can think and develop relationships while we work in some ways more satisfying than just by sitting and talking or thinking.

-My goal is to raise adults who know how to work, clean up after themselves, and take responsibility for their actions...adults that know how to love, be nice, and serve. Math, music lessons, and writing essays come second to that. My children know (or at least hear often!) that they have unique strengths and gifts and a unique mission to complete on this earth, even if they don't know what it is yet. They know that I have ones I am trying to fulfill, with God's grace.

-When my children are "going crazy"--more than usual--, it means they need to have their "love cup" filled (see "5 love languages for kids"). A friend once said, "when they are squabbling over little things, the best thing to do is grab a good book, and plop down on the couch and do some serious cuddling." I believe in this...

-Before all else, I am a wife and a mother. The only thing that will take me away from that calling is an edict (strong personal inspiration) from a God I know and trust, that what I am doing is His will. If it is His will, then I trust Him. (Prov. 3:5-6)

-Electronics or media is something only to be used in case of emergency, and, even then, only if it is wholesome and uplifting. (I am a "mean" mom :)...) I respect other people's inspiration for their own children's needs in this area. For me, electronics are very stimulating and distracting for my children, preventing them from finding that sacred quiet within that helps them define who they are. Once they know who they are, who their God is, what is truth or at least how to find out for themselves, then I trust them and the light of Christ that is within them to make that call.

-Hand in hand with that, though, my kids know why: I want them to know what life can be like without electronic addictions so that when they leave my house and can create their own home environment, they know what life can be like without it even if they choose to immerse themselves in it.

-My children will make mistakes (as I do) and that is alright. The key is to love them, let them learn from them, don't remove consequences or "save" them every time they fall. This may seem callous, (and, of course, must be done within reason), but let me give you an example.

One of my kids wanted to make money. They insisted they were ready to start working doing yard work at a young age. I offered my counsel, told them I could help them learn, and then they decided they were done with that and ready to go. They got hired to mow an incredibly hard lawn, huge and over-grown. They spent literally hours and hours mowing. They would call me on the cell phone, tell me how hard it was, and want me to finish it for them. I knew they were suffering, I knew it was hard, and I knew they weren't doing a very good job. I told them I would be happy to bring them water or food, but they would have to pay me for my time if I were to help them, in addition to the gas they were already paying to refill the mower. They finished it, paying me for the little I helped. It was a very real life lesson learned at a young age about: negotiation, finishing a job (they were so proud of themselves), and the realities of being accountable as a laborer, not to mention how it would be to work in that field their whole lives if they decided to not finish school :). The home is a safe place to learn about failure and trying again. We don't need to set them up to fail to learn this lesson, of course. We just need to offer support and not just bail them out when life gets hard.

-This goes hand in hand with being consistent and true to your word. I found that when I would back out of a punishment/consequence one time, it made it actually worse, and my kids respected me more if I followed through with the punishment/consequence. (Grounding is painful and used only in times of great emergency!)

-My children become what they are exposed to the most--through reading, electronics, people...and I want my kids face-to-face with greatness as often as possible, be it in books or people around them or media that enlightens and inspires. They need to feel something in order to want to be something.

-The power of positive parenting...if my kids feel happy or recognized when they do something, they will want to do it (i.e. church, work, service, scripture reading, math, etc.). (Read "Christlike Parenting"...cathartic, but good!)

-When I am stressed or upset, I try to let my children know, apologizing when I allow it to interfere with my relationship with them.

-I CHOOSE how I will react to something...my children cannot "make" me mad. Even though I allow myself to still fall into this trap, I never, never, never say that they "made" me mad, upset, or stressed. This puts undue blame on a child. No matter their actions, I am my own person and always, always, always have a choice in how I want to react (again, see "Christlike Parenting"...also, Corrie Ten Boom's "The Hiding Place")

-Similarly, I CHOOSE how I spend my time. I have time for whatever I feel is most important. If I don't "have time" for something, it is because it is not as important to me as what I am already doing...this makes me look at what I am already doing and deciding if it should be more important :)...

-My children need to see me smile, need to see me enjoying what I am doing, or why in the world would they ever choose to do that themselves? :) Sometimes, even a forced smile will work wonders in myself and my kids.

-Relationships are more important than things: sometimes you can say "no" to when someone wants to come over and visit, but let that be the exception. On the other hand, it is all right to let the answering machine field calls when making a memory, having devotional, or taking a nap :)...phone calls are not on par with physical visiting, just as emails and texting are a far from perfect mode of meaningful communication.

-When I am overwhelmed, it means I have lost my perspective and need to either: pray, snuggle with Quinn (my rock) or have one-on-one time with him, go to the temple, read my scriptures, or exercise/go on a walk. No matter how bad things seem, they can always be worse :). When Isaak died, everything literally ground to a halt, and then it eventually picked up again. I learned that all those things on our schedule are pretty much secondary to the essentials.

-Errands (and lunch :)! ) are a necessary evil, but I generally only do them (errands, that is!) once every week or two, unless I am already going out for one of my children's events.

-More is seldom better...simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. Again, pretty much only an edict from God will make me add something to my schedule, and I am quick to remove things. (See "Small and Simple Things" by Marjorie Hinckley)

-If my kids don't see me struggling, studying, allowing myself to be humbled, praying, loving, forgiving,...how in the world will they ever learn how to, or at least how to fail and keep trying :)?

-Dates with kids are fun. Dates with Daddy are essential. My husband comes before my kids, and, although it is hard to show this with a patient, easy-going husband and intense children, it is always worth it, and the kids actually seem to feel better knowing that our relationship is sacred and important.

-I have more wealth than the majority of the world's population. Many mothers feed their kids watered down rainwater and hope it will provide the illusion of being fed. I have no room to complain about not having enough, and thus rejoice vocally in my abundance.

I think that is all...those are some of the thoughts that drift through my head on a regular basis...oh! And one last one:

-There are many, many times that I do not know what to do, what to say, how to act as a parent, wife, or friend. I have learned to stop, say, "I am not sure what to say right now, but I love you", and then try my best. If I don't try, I don't learn--from my successes and my failures...

Priesthood and Princesses :)

Just a couple random thoughts I would love to have your feedback, insight, etc. on...

It strikes me, as I listen to a talk by Elder Neil A. Anderson about being not offended, the essential role of men in the Gospel with their stewardship over the affairs of the church, not to mention the awesome responsibility that comes with bearing the Priesthood of God. Those women who cry out against the "unfairness" of not holding the priesthood need to gain a testimony of their own sacred role and powers as a woman, mother, and nurturer...it is not a priesthood problem! :) As he described the faith of a brother in having to publicly demonstrate his faith in Ukraine by being called to be branch president and registering the church at a time of religious disapproval, I envisioned the faith of the sisters, possibly for years before, waiting such an action. Were they frustrated that they needed a man to do these things? Are we sometimes to our own great power for spirituality, faith, and goodness that we don't realize the complementary capacity of these brethren acting in their sacred Priesthood office, the need of us women for the strength and surety that a priesthood holding man, confirmed in the mantle of the Priesthood, as he goes about his own directed work from His God? I pray that my heart will be soft when the temptation of "feminism" rears its ugly head, suggesting, insinuating a lesser role because I do not have the exact same role as the men around me. I pray that I will me reminded of the graciousness, the gentility and the sweet balm of Gilead that I can administer as a woman. "The errand of angels is given to women..oh, naught but the spirit's divinist tuition can give us the vision to truly succeed!"

And now onto princesses!...

I have also been struck by a passage in "The Princess Academy", where it describes their quarry-talk with which they communicate without using their voice...mind to mind and heart to heart. As I thought, "How cool!", I was struck by the main character, Miri's, observation. It was their shared memories that made such communication possible. How essential it is to spend time with each other, friends, families and neighbors, because it is through these shared memories, these shared experiences that we are able to communicate on an even deeper level...

...and that leads to the thought, "how much do I want that with others? Am I willing to pay that price?" Is this communication not the peak of humanity, the crowning moment of human interaction and achievement when one soul can truly communicate their message to another, be it through art, accomplishment, music, sports, writing, speaking, loving, serving, etc.?

Driven

In Larry H. Miller's autobiography (which happen to randomly fall in my lap of "need to reads"...not something I would have chosen myself!) his wife shares the following quotes:

Are we mortal beings having a spiritual experience, or are we spiritual beings having a mortal experience?

When the student is prepared, the teacher will appear.

Children are the messengers we send to a time we'll never see.

When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power.

If we are charged with being followers of Jesus Christ, would there be enough evidence to convict us?

Something to think about, anyway...

advice to young moms :)--Happy Mother's Day!

I have been thinking a great deal about motherhood since talking to a dear friend about her daughter's struggle to feel that she is doing little more than "babysitting" all day long with her two little ones at home. I remember those days so vividly! The days full of seemingly endless repetition of cleaning up messes, feeding mouths, and comforting and napping that just started over again sometimes even before you "finished" with one task! I have thought long and hard what I would say to such a young woman, and have written down a few of my thoughts on this gorgeous mother's day morning.

I have been "brainwashed" over the years by countless wonderful older women that before I know it...the kids will be gone, and I must enjoy their littleness while I can. It took many times hearing it, but I am coming to appreciate it more and more. Unfortunately, it took me losing a child to truly appreciate even their messes, their orneriness, and the frustrations they can bring on, but hopefully others can learn from me without having that experience. :)

I realize that one of the great struggles as a young mother is seeking to find meaning and validation in the daily experience. There are things that a woman can do as a mother that accentuate her mothering experience and don't compete against it! Find ways to make motherhood a mode of life, not just something you are enduring temporarily. Motherhood is about progressing personally in a way that completes, not competes with your progression as a daughter of God. Only you and your Heavenly Father can know what books are yours to read (sometimes they are children's books!), what goals there are to set (not yelling for one whole day :)...),... what ways there are to keep "becoming". Seek His counsel daily and be content with what He advises is best for you to do that day! You will find that you will blossom and progress more as a woman, as a daughter of God, as you find joy in the ofttimes self-less service of motherhood.

Motherhood is not limited to the changing of diapers and endless routine! Motherhood and womanhood is about creating an environment physically (clean bottoms and full tummies!), spiritually (personal and family prayer and scripture study and temple attendance/personal worship), and emotionally (the mentality that you, your children, and others around you have intrinsic worth which will be literally liberating as you come to accept that!) that allows you, your children, and others around you to feel the love of God, be open to His inspiration, and imperfectly try to become the people we yearn to become.

The beautiful thing about doing God's will, though, is that He lets you enjoy the journey! Don't get so caught up in whether your child knows their ABC's and your house is immaculate or has all the latest "decor". Enjoy watching your child discover the wonders of the world around them, the wonders of their body! Enjoy watching the peace that settles over other's faces as you warmly invite them into your less-than-immaculate home and accept them for who they are. Enjoy the feeling of love and acceptance that can wash over you at the end of a day full of chaos in which you caught a couple of verses of scripture, prayed and snuggled with your little ones in between messes and battles, and the house is still standing...knowing that God has accepted your offering.

My final advice to all mothers and women is that we must learn how to find joy in an imperfect existence:
(1)find reasons to laugh and smile in the monotony and in the messes
(2)find things to be grateful for in every situation!
(3)Paste a smile on until it fits there more naturally :)
Our lives and the lives of those around us will never follow our personal expectation of perceived "perfection", until we come to change our definition of perfection! "Perfection" is a process that includes life's idiosyncrasies, life's challenges, life's "interruptions"...that is our perfect life as we allow these to shape us to become the daughter of God we were meant to become.

A parting quote from Eliza R. Snow: We want to be ladies in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones....Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for these responsibilities."

Enjoy the journey and happy Mother's Day!

"Unit" studies...for a day!

During my youth group, my 12 year old son runs a great Unit study each week. Just in case it is useful to anyone looking for ideas, I thought I would post it.

Basically, I just go to the library, pick out anything that has to do with the topic I or they are interested in (this week it will be knights and the middle ages). Then I try to tie in every game, craft, puzzle, movie that I can think of. It would probably be more effective over the course of a week or month, but a day is fun! It is also good to keep the activities short for younger participants, with lots of chances for movement, snacks, and activities. Kids will believe anything is related if you tell them so! (Space treats were crackers--dry like "space food"--and cheese--like the "moon"--.)

One week, we went down to what sounded like chaos (we had about 6 more kids join us unexpectedly, but we welcomed it!) They were all in different parts of the room, actively but purposefully planning out their own puppet "skit". I didn't know what to say but "Good work, guys!"

We have done "Bugs and Ponds", "The Ocean", "Boot Camp" (the Revolutionary War), "space", and now, the "Knights" one.

Below is an example if you'd like. This could be fun over the summer for projects when kids are out of school, or for homeschoolers alike. The first part is part of a booklet that I gave to the kids. The second part was my "instructions" for older son, the "space commander":

__________'s
☼SPACE CHASE☼
book!
Launch Date: 3.25.2010

Congratulations!
You are now authorized by Space Command to watch "The Cat from Outer Space"!!!!!!
Welcome, Star Chaser!
You have been selected to go on a mission through space!
Your journey will take you from the sun to the outer reaches of the galaxy!
To be a true explorer, take good notes of your journey in the following book.

Once you have completed the following, you will be invited to participate in a special ceremony to watch
"The Cat from Outer Space"!!!!!
Only those who have completed the following may participate. Good Luck!

Go through Astronaut Physical training: ______
Listen to The Magic School Bus & Color #1: ______
Put together space puzzle: ______
Listen to book about "The Sun" & draw #1: ______
Watch "The Star": ______
Play "Astronauts & Space Wyrms" ______
Look through space books while listening to
"Jupiter" as you quest through space: ______
Stock up on Earth for lunch: ______
Roll out space mats for quiet reading time: ______
Listen to "What the moon is like" & Color #2: _____
Watch "The Moon": ______
Pretend like you are bouncing on the moon!: _____
Return to space port & listen to "The Star People"
while coloring your own space scene: ______
Watch "Lifted" and eat space snack: ______
Write space words or trace the "space letters": ___
Listen to "Touchdown Mars" while doing your astronaut stretches" ______


Commanding Space Officer Instruction Guide:
Thanks, Commander, for accepting this commission to lead this group of bold astronaut explorers through space! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to guide by leading with encouragement the young astronauts in your charge. Some may fall by the wayside, but do your best to not lose a man (or boy or girl!) during this quest!Please refer to the following to help with each task. Good luck, and thanks again!

Go through Astronaut Physical training: turn on "Also Sprach Zarathusra" and welcome them to the space chaser astronaut training program, lead them in exercises like jumping jacks, push ups, sit-ups, and run around the yard a couple times.
Listen to The Magic School Bus & Color #1: you read the book while they color the Solar System page
Put together space puzzle: make this into a timed event; have them try three times and see what their fastest time is!
Listen to book about "The Sun" & draw #1: you read the book while they draw a picture of their own space ship, the sun, and stars
Watch "The Star": if they get bored, they don't have to finish this one to get marked off.
Play "Astronauts & Space Wyrms": try to encourage them to play well with the little ones :)...be patient!
Look through space books while listening to "Jupiter" as you quest through space: this is on the CD in the box by the books
Have an astronaut snack! (LUNCH) this is basically free time for about half an hour...too much more and you'll run out of time :)!
Roll out space mats for quiet reading time: I will try to have several blankets for them to choose from, and they can come and "check out" or rotate books through you. This should be about 20 minutes.
Listen to "What the moon is like" & Color #2: you read the book while they color the Planets page
Watch "The Moon": just like "The Star", watch as long as they are interested. If a couple wander off, you can keep watching it.
Pretend like you are bouncing on the moon!: Tramp time! Spend 15-20 minutes bouncing on the tramp.
Return to space port & listen to "The Star People" while coloring your space scene: encourage them to be creative in their art!
Watch "Lifted" and eat space snack: This is on the "PIXAR" short films,...it is the alien one, which I think is "Lifted". The snack is sliced up cheese from our house, and the *other family* are bringing some crackers and other stuff.
Write a space story or trace the space letters: You could help the older kids spell if they are doing this, while the younger ones trace the letters I gave them.
Listen to "Touchdown Mars" while doing your astronaut stretches: The "stretches" are contorting their bodies into the shapes of the ABC's for each letter that you read about.
CONCLUDE SPACE MISSION!! --Congratulate them on their hard work and tell them they are now officially Junior Astronauts! I will have some stickers for them to mark off in their books, have them put their name on the back of their books, pop popcorn and turn on movie. Congratuations, and THANKS!

Solitude and flowers

Have you ever had a time when you just wanted to be a hermit? I have been struggling with that lately! All I want to do is stay in my own, safe little world and not go anywhere, call anyone, plan anything with anyone else outside of my own little group of bodies...

Perhaps it is "nesting" with this pregnancy; perhaps it is seasonal--combining with my urge to spend hours and hours delving into the dirt in my yard--; or perhaps it is sheer laziness....who knows.

It takes so much gumption, sometimes, to go out an face others, even those we love. (yes, I am an introvert on any personality test I have taken!)

Perhaps it is just time to "seize the season", finish my commitments, and "withdraw myself from the world" for a while. :)

*******

Today I purchased flowers, annuals even. This is a first for me for many years (my last attempt to grow annuals was about 12 years ago, and a pathetic return I got for it!) I have no sense of style, organization, nor taste when it comes to selecting flowers. Unfortunately, the purple blends of petunias attracted my eye just as much as the pot of carnival-colored snap dragons (reminiscent of my dear S. Teuscher teaching my kids to "make faces" with them). We won't even go into the dahlias that my neighbor grows so well that I just had to get some, as well as the geraniums that my five year old boy fell in love with. Like I said...I don't think they will "blend" well.

However, there is good news! I have an army of flower pickers that will probably keep up with my blooms as fast as they can unfurl their little faces to the world! I probably won't have to worry about clashing colors nor styles in my yard as long as I have their help! My dear three year old daughter comes into the house so proud of herself as she methodically picks each new bulb that comes up...especially the "one of a kind" ones. *sigh* At least they last for sometime in the house, and the precious look of delight on her face with each new bloom will change as she grows older, so I guess I will settle with my indoor arrangements and the radiance of my three-year-old daughter's face :).

Generals and True Love

Just a "love" thought that came up last week in my Vanguard Youth group. It is a quote from "The Road Less Traveled", by Peck:

There is a vacuum of competence in the world which must be filled. In a world crying out in desperate need for competence, an extraordinarily competent and loving person can no more withhold his or her competence than such a person could deny food to a hungry infant.

Spiritually evolved people, by virtue of their discipline, mastery and love, are people of extraordinary competence, and in their competence they are called on to serve the world, and in their love they answer the call.

They are inevitably, therefore, people of great power, although the world may generally behold them as quite ordinary people, since more often than not they will exercise their power in quiet or even hidden ways. Nonetheless, exercise power they do, and in this exercise they suffer greatly, even dreadfully. For to exercise power is to make decisions, and the process of making decisions with total awareness if often infinitely more painful than making decisions with limited or blunted awareness (which is the way most decisions are made and why they are ultimately proved wrong). Imagine two generals, each having to decide whether or not to commit a division of ten thousand men to battle. To one the division is but a thing, a unit of personnel, an instrument of strategy and nothing more. To the other it is these things, but he is also aware of each and every one of the ten thousand lives and the lives of the families of each of the ten thousand. For whom is the decision easier?

It is easier for the general who has blunted his awareness precisely because he cannot tolerate the pain of a more nearly complete awareness. It may be tempting to say, "Ah, but a spiritually evolved man would never become a general in the first place." But the same issue is involved in being a corporation president, a physician, a teacher, a parent.

Decisions affecting the lives of others must always be made. The best decision-makers are those who are willing to suffer the most over their decisions but still retain their ability to be decisive. One measure—and perhaps the best measure—of a person's greatness is the capacity for suffering. Yet the great are also joyful.

Just My Nature!

This is a fun book by Carol Tuttle, by far and away the best "personality" type book, more because it tends to deal with a more whole picture of seemingly contrasting personalities, not only describing strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies, but also how all of them are needed and valuable, not just tolerated or anything to be ashamed of. (I know that last sentence was ridiculous, but I am too tired to go back and change it :). Sorry, Quinn!)

Rather than try and tell us how we are so different, the author seems to seek us all help see the uniqueness in each other and appreciate it.

Of course, there is the money-making aspect of the whole book that makes it feel like a testimonial about Amway, but I liked the rest of it :).

Parenting your Ephraim's Child

Parenting your Ephraim's Child:

Although it is LDS based, it is a fabulous book about dealing with a child who is "more" of anything: sensitive, intense, demanding, assertive...pretty much any characteristic in an intense way. The author lists about nine different areas with positive labels for those feisty behaviors and tendencies...and I could relate to quite a few of them in myself, not to mention my children (my parents will not be surprised).

The basic premise according to Mary is that we can take these things that drive us crazy, substitute positive labels to them, and eliminate so much of the tension we feel on a daily basis...or maybe it is just me :).

Role of Religion

Do we allow our religion to shape us into God's perception of "what needs to happen" or do we shape our religion to fit into what we think needs to happen? I would love your thoughts...

Response of Political "guy" :)

Hello everyone!

Good news! I received a very contrite and apologetic response from the city planning commissioner to which I wrote that letter...only days later! It sounded very sincere, and he even mentioned taking a look at the books I recommended. I sent him an email (which he had provided in his letter) expressing my thanks at his time and consideration. Quinn had gone to the next meeting and noted a significant change in his demeanor. He even asked for people's comments at the beginning of the meeting. We can make a difference!

Woohoo!

Now I just need to do that more often... :)

Perfection...

I had a very life-changing conversation with a dear friend the other day about this and would like to share what I have found. I anticipate any thoughts that you, my dear friends and family, may have in response.

I am a perfectionist.

As a perfectionist, it is very difficult to live in this world, as I have heard from many of my fellow self-designated "perfectionists" :). No matter how good you do or are, someone always looks or just is, better than you in any given area! You have continual expectations (how the day is going to go, how the house should look, how your child is going to act, what you are going to say to a person, how you should look, how others should behave, etc. etc., etc!) So, I have always sought for external validations that I am "succeeding" or even getting close: a clean house, good grades and high honors, perfect children, perfect body, and perfect Saint. And then, when I don’t measure up, as I eventually fail to with those standards, I go the opposite extreme of just not doing it, not trying, pretending that I just don’t care enough to try. (For instance, I am a virtually computer-illiterate person who comes from a family of literal computer geniuses–I decided when I was young that I was not good at it, and, bullheadedly have remained so since! ;)

As you can guess, this kind of living creates a lot of stress! A life of constant comparison and constant self-judgment is not an easy one...yet some deep inner part of me feels that there is only one standard I can compare myself to for "perfection" and, like in my "Big Toe" parable, it happens to be the sum total of the "perfection" I see in everyone around me: physically, emotionally, and mentally in the roles of mother, Christian, house-keeper, woman, friend, and scholar, to name a few. I imagine there are a few others out there like me...

However, over the years, I have learned a few things about "perfection".

First of all, it does not look the same for everyone. My body, while far from perfect as it is (, would not be perfect at "size 2"...I would be undernourished and emaciated. Also, for my family to be "perfect", I currently see that as healthy, clean, spiritually aware, and full of love towards each other, which cannot be attained by rigid conformity to a sterile house, rigorous exercise schedule, and continual study and practice of how to be nice in a filthy, disease-ridden house, with poor nutrition habits. (As a plaque I gave to my sister-in-law said: "This house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy!") Each of us have to find a balance of what is important in our lives, or, inevitably, if we are too focused on one area, the others will sicken. Unfortunately, this is "uncomparable" territory!

Secondly, there is only one person who knows what your individual perfection is supposed to look like: your personal God. As we trust in Him, ask Him prayerfully what is truly needful each day, He will guide us, and we must trust that He knows what He is talking about. So, when kneeling down for inspiration at the beginning of the day, we can do as Elder Eyring from my church counseled:

"A morning prayer and an early search in the scriptures can set the course for a day. We can know which task, of all those we might choose, matters most to God and therefore to us...such a prayer is always answered if we ask and ponder with childlike submission, ready to act without delay to perform even the most humble service...all would be possible for the humblest of us. The temptation to delay will come from two feelings...one to be complacent...and the other to feel overwhelmed."Lovingly pray: "Please let me serve this day. It doesn’t matter to me how few things I may be able to do...Just let me know what I can do. I will obey this day. I know I can, with thy help."Hard as things seem today, they will be better in the next day if you choose to serve the Lord this day with your whole heart...when your burdens become too heavy, the Lord, whom you have served, will carry what you cannot. He knows how. He prepared long ago. He suffered your infirmities and your sorrows when He was in the flesh so He would know how to succor you.When you go to sleep: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things" (Ensign, May 2007)

And then, we act on it. We follow the spirit, our gleanings of God's will. We find those things, over time, that are truly important, and then, if we have time to clean up more, study a little more, etc., that is just a bonus! I have found, that, for me personally, the inspiration generally involves something about relationships or service, forgiveness or repenting...and it is typically a small and simple way to do exactly that. That is how my personal perfection looks and I trust Him.

Perhaps, the why of why I trust Him is key, and was the biggest thing I learned from my conversation about perfection with my friend the other day–

I realized that my personal concept of "perfection" is why I have always felt uncomfortable and confused when people tell me, "How can you blame yourself for what happened with your son, Isaak. It was just an accident!"

Of course it was an accident. Of course I didn’t do it on purpose. However, now, thanks to that conversation, I have the words to describe why I still felt that I needed the Atonement of Jesus Christ so desperately.

My friend’s husband has been fired from his job. He is an amazing professional with an incomparable sales profile and resume, and felt like this was an attack to his respectability, especially since his previous employers had been close personal friends of the family. To a man, to not only challenge his respectability but take away the means by which he supports those he loves is an incredible blow. And, to a perfectionist man, the blow is a strike to who he is. You have removed every external verification that he is succeeding in one of his primal roles.

As a perfectionist myself, I jumped through "all the hoops" through the years, seeking good grades, good college, awards, recognitions, as milestones on my road to perfection. When I became a mother, I took care of my children the best I could, continually subconsciously and consciously comparing myself to other mothers as a measure of my "success". I would watch an amazing mother and feel inferior; watch one for failings (shallow, I know) and then feel better about myself. For years, with most external measurements (barring the occasional melt-down in the supermarket) I was doing alright.

Then, one day, I was unable to keep my child alive. I had failed to measure up on the most fundamental level...my child had died. I was the one who was driving; I was the one responsible for his safety; and he had died. Not by intent, of course, but because I wasn’t perfect enough to prevent it from happening. I mean, come on! Even the worst mothers normally provide an environment with enough nutrition and roof over their heads to allow for life! It was then that I was brutally confronted with the fact that I had failed in something that was primal to my nature, much like my friend’s husband.

The months of self-hatred and loathing that followed were not healthy, I’m sure. The years previous where I had been selfishly "depressed", preoccupied with my own happiness and perfection, were a pathetic comparison to what I was feeling then. I realized that, if one truly does not like oneself, one will not seek other’s pity, time, or compassion...they are more than you feel like you deserve or merit. Even to remove myself from the picture was unacceptable, considering that the loss and anguish that would be suffered by those close to me if I should take such a step. Again...it would be selfish. Living through these months of self-denial and lack of acceptance of who I was purged much of the selfish depression that had plagued me for years. I realized that if I truly did not like myself, I wouldn’t make myself a burden to those around me. And, having torn away the facade of who I was and who I thought I was, I felt almost self-less, living for those around me. Remarkably, part of the miracle was that I was healed by doing so. By literally losing myself in reaching out to others, I was healed in a pure and remarkable way.

Not only that, having lost all my external tokens of success, I was able to face the fact that I, on my own, would never "jump through enough hoops", achieve enough accolades to earn salvation, earn that "perfection" that I saw at the end of my road. I knew that I had to depend completely upon my Savior, Jesus Christ, for perfection in a very real way. I had deluded myself for years that if I just worked hard enough, I could work my way back to heaven by presenting a lengthy list of all of the things I had accomplished. I knew, now, how empty those external measurements were...for if they were true, there was no hope for me, a perfectionist.

I still remember the day in March a year after my son died, when I knelt in prayer, unable to try to reason through the "whys" or "why nots" anymore. I simply said, "Here I am. I don’t know if You can love me, but here I am" I cannot describe the peace I felt, contrasted so vividly with the torment I was wracked with before that. It was truly the peace that surpasseth understanding mentioned in my canon of scriptures. My God accepted me on a fundamental level for who I was. He was looking at the state of my soul, not the list of my achievements.

So now, it is easier to let go of the fluff, the extras. When I start getting caught up again in trying to prove myself to others, I look at that picture of my son and realize how empty that is. Then I can more easily prayerfully look at my day and do what needs to be done, and I find peace...I find joy, inexplicable joy, for I know that once again, and daily, my God accepts me and my proverbial widow’s mite. I am enough.

stewardship...

A thought about stewardship. It is my understanding that we will one day be held accountable for our stewardship. Locke also believed this in the sense that he claimed that we have no right to more property than we can properly use, that, in fact, it is through the wise use of resources that gives us claim to those resources that, ultimately, are common to all.
I have been thinking a great deal about this lately. I have too much stuff. Maybe I am the only one out there with that problem, but I find myself anxious as I look around me and see it cluttering around. “I’m sure I’ll use it someday!” is the typical justification I say to myself, and, often have done just that. However, I think this anxious feeling goes back to a fundamental realization that I am losing my property as I neglect it...losing it to deterioration or perhaps even losing it’s location :).
I have just recently taken over “stewardship” of our chickens from our 11 year old who was forgetting to water and care for them as often as I thought was healthy, and this morning, as I was doing it, felt a sublime sense of satisfaction. I wondered at this, in light of the fact that I feel like I have very little time, perhaps another complaint I share with others :). I realized that, for the first time since we got the chickens, I was taking care of them directly, completely. My hitherto unfulfilled sense of stewardship over the chickens was being satisfied!
So back to the problem with possessions– when I am not taking proper care of my possessions (sorting, organizing, etc.) I feel a fundamental struggle with, what I feel, is a primal need to care for things in my possession.... my property. When I do not show proper stewardship over something, I am losing it or at least my right to it in a very fundamental sense. You can see this in the slow deterioration of something due to neglect over time.
Now, let us say that I have “hired” or “appointed” someone to help care for that item in my stewardship. I am, in a very real sense, in bondage to them, dependent upon them to maintain it. I am watching “Ghandi” right now, and, again in a very real sense, the British began to realize that they were beholden to the Indian people for their property. Let’s look at it from another angle. Let’s say that I am a child who has been given a present. I leave it around the house, never caring for it. My mom begins to feel frustrated with me and nags me. I am frustrated as well, however, I am beginning to think it is not just because my mom nags me...it is because, again, on a fundamental level, I know that I am in bondage to her because she is helping take care of my property, and, in time, I will lose the right to that. If she is the one that cares for it, I sense that it is becoming hers, and I am dependent upon her, at this time, to own it.
So when I have too many things and require the unpredictable or unwilling help of others to help maintain those things, I feel in bondage to them, for I am!
It makes me consider: what things are fundamentally important to me? What is required to maintain them? If I am using all my time to maintain my belongings and not just what I truly need, I get bogged down, upset, stressed.
I find that, like the chickens, things that are valuable give us feelings of satisfaction upon completion, as our spirit recognizes what is truly needful. I am beginning to think that that is the best way to go...and the rest can go to the local “donation location” :).
I do believe that when we can have shared stewardship of things with others, the load is lifted, but that is a topic for another day...any thoughts, you genius friends and family?

Homeschooling=lessons of life

I came across this quote today and was impressed with it's accuracy.

"The difference between school and life is in school you learn a lesson, then take a test. Life is a test that teaches you a lesson."

How many times have I heard other homeschooling parents say, "Of course it (cooking, store trips, cleaning, lively debates with a sibling or parent, etc) is a homeschooling subject. We are 'learning' about life!"

The Salt Lake TJEd Forum

This is an amazing opportunity for homeschooler and others alike to attend life-changing seminars on life, mission, education, motherhood, fatherhood, elocution...to name a few. There are always too many classes for me to choose from. Check out the weblink on this section of my blog. They will be posting the classes and registration soon!

They also have some fabulous teen classes that have covered things like finding the royalty in themselves, how to succeed, money smarts, etc. The instructors of the youth are all amazing, engaging, and dynamic. It is rewarding for the youth to not only attend the classes, but also be together with other, striving youth in this charged atmosphere.

A family ball is held that night. This is something my children look forward to all year long. A live band provides some fun, true dancing music, and the atmosphere is elegant, yet family friendly. There are little girls and boys in suits and ball gowns, young men and women mostly modestly attired and capable dancers, and old folks like me who have fun dancing with one and all in my less-than-skilled fashion. Fathers dancing with babes in arms, mothers dancing with 11 year old boys, and fathers taking their young lady daughter on his arm are all images that I treasure from this. My Lily (age 6) has danced literally the whole night with one or two young men...last year she and a nice 10 year old danced every dance that they didn't need to rush out for a drink or a potty break, holding hands, and wobbling back and forth--sometimes even in time to the music! :) Even Kel has been venturous and asked a couple fortunate young ladies, and Tova has been asked time and again, sometimes with the guidance of a loving father seeking out perspective partners to ask her. Old fashioned values, music, and modesty are all a part of this event!

The joyful mothers of the stripling warriors?

In reading Alma 55-57, I have been struck by the stripling warriors. They knew they would be protected if they were doing what was right, for they did not doubt but that their mothers knew it. It wasn’t that their mother’s just talked to them about it,...they saw that their mothers knew it. It made me think about what would it be about the mothers’ example that would provide strength to their sons while in the heat of battle, or facing a battle of overwhelming odds. It made me think that these women must have lived their lives with joy, in such a way that their sons saw them trusting God through tough times. If my children see me being miserable, depressed and complaining about all that is going wrong in my life, will they believe my words that my faith, my religion bring me happiness, joy and satisfaction? Would I not have to live my life in such a way that shows that?
Furthermore, as me and other women around us in society continue to show stress, depression, and anxiety in our roles as mothers, what sane young woman would look forward to raising her own children, if she decides to be a mother at all?
A few years ago, or maybe several, I realized that Sundays were not looked forward to at my house. My dear sister N.R. shared with me how she had come to the conclusion that her children could never enjoy going to church if all they saw was her stressing about going and stressing about being there! If they didn’t see the "why" of church through me who was getting them there, of course they wouldn’t share my enthusiasm and love of it! So I tried to smile more, let a few more things go, realizing that if they didn’t feel comfortable and at peace in church, they would not have a strong reason to go later in life when they were on their own, if they hadn’t developed their own personal strong conviction to go–which takes everyone different lengths of time! (And then, at least, they would be at church where they could gain their own conviction!) And something miraculous happened...I started having more joy at church! Sunday morning was no longer dreaded! We really have to show joy in what we are doing for our children to desire to do it themselves.

Ours is a gospel of peace, a gospel of joy. Of course, it will be difficult. Of course, there will be hard times. But like in "The Hiding Place", lasting peace and real joy can be found amidst affliction if we are looking for it. And our children need to know this, need to know there is some refuge from the storm and turbulence around them. They need to know how to find a few moments of quiet time in the day for rejuvenation and reflection. How can they do this if their day is planned from beginning to end for them? How can they do this if their primary care giver does nothing but fret and worry and run around like "a chicken with her head cut off", so to speak :)? Now, I am as guilty of this as anyone...this is just something I have been thinking about lately.
So, I have tried to take a deep breath,--when the house is in disarray, and the phone is demanding my attention, and I have over 180 email waiting to be checked (sorry to all of you...), --and sit down and read with my little ones; look out the window and allow myself to be caught up in the beauty of the day, and bring my kids over to share that; get down at my child’s level and look them in the eye when they are concerned about their stuffed rabbit and the ribbon that keeps falling off; laugh more; be a little crazy when I am going crazy so that I can remind myself that it is my choice to be in that frantic state :); sit down with company when they come; go outside and watch the sunset, the stars, the clouds, the trees moving in the wind. And somehow, everything else goes better. The house doesn’t seem so messy, the kids not so frantic, my self-imposed schedule not so demanding. After all, as C.S. Lewis put it,

"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all

the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,'or 'real' life.

The truth is of course that what one

calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life--

the life God is sending one day by day."

I think that everyone’s ways of slowing down and showing joy will look different. I just think, if we are really struggling to know how, we need to start simply. Just prayerfully consider one thing you can do, when you are feeling overwhelmed or when a child is tugging on your shirt, that will help you find joy and beauty in the world around you...the life you are living! Something that will fill you and rejuvenate you, not satisfy some addiction (food and sugar=me) and leave you feel anxious, ornery, and uptight.
I loved the scripture in Alma 57: 26 where it states: whosoever did not doubt, that they should be preserved by his marvelous power...and their minds are firm. How much do we truly believe what we believe?

Books I use to teach

Little Britches--hard work, decency and honesty, family, classic farm mentality
All you Ever Need, by Lucado–the need to share God’s gifts to us with everyone, as freely as you can
You are Special–the special place of all of God’s children, despite failings, perceived or otherwise
The Apple-Pip Princess–the value of simplicity, differences, and decency, finding gifts despite being "ordinary"
Science Verse–A bunch of poems that touch on different scientific ideas
Math Curse–this is full of fun applications of mathematical concepts
Pig, Pigger, Piggest–it’s the "good, better, best" way to teach superlatives!
Crispin, the Pig who had everything--gratitude, the wonder of imagination and creativity
Book of Virtues--everything about anything important in life! :)
The Happy Dromedary--pursuing and finding your unique role, de-values peer criticism
Sarah Jane’s Very Best Story Ever–book that reinforces the core principles of my religion
The Giving Tree–sacrifice, true love
A Year With Miss Agnes–joy of learning, value of unique gifts, different learning styles
The Whipping Boy–qualities of true and decent leadership: born position vs. inherent qualities
The Door in the Wall–the ability to rise above anything, value of unique talents
Chasing Vermeer–the value of art, free-thinking in school
Seven Wonders of Sassafrass Springs–finding wonder in the "everyday" world around you
Princess Academy–leadership, friendship, integrity
Little Women-ideal family life, simple goodness
No Room for a Sneeze-appreciation/gratitude
Heidi–simplicity, decency, goodness
The Giver–the role of government and rules in society
The Alchemist–integrity and determination in pursuing your unique mission
C.S.Lewis books–true principles and perspective on God and society
Laddie–"a portrait of life as is should be" as quoted from Claudia
The Red Scarf Girl–a look at Communist China and the impact of the Cultural revolution on a young girl
The Oak and the Acorn (?) by Max Lucado–how everyone’s gifts/missions are different, but no less important
The Canada Geese Quilt–family love and sacrifice, death
The Phantom Tollbooth–fun mathematical concepts to explore

Groups I've Created/Mentored

This this is just FYI. I only support or use the ones I need when I need them so I have never had them all going at the same time. Also, I also only am able to do any of these due to the amazing women (and men!) that I work with, who contribute untold hours to the success of these different groups. Most of them are set up to run on a very low-maintenance, high-inspiration system to prevent "burn-out" :). My intention is to have social/peer (meaning other homeschooling kids of all ages) groups available for every stage of my child's education.


Small and Simple things: An adult book group designed to help unlock the keys to a simple, meaningful life through the study of classics
Knights of Freedom: A book/activity group for 8-12 year old boys that meets weekly
Dream Catcher’s Club/Promise Club: Club for girls 9-11 to learn monthly virtues through books and activities, learn skills in homemaking and etiquette, and have monthly opportunities for service.
Princess club: Club for girls 6-9 to help them learn monthly virtues through children’s books, activities, free time, coloring time (with reading going on), and "tea" party time.
Children’s Choir: a low-cost alternative for families to come together and sing entertaining, educational, and spiritual songs and learn them for performance.
Young Actor’s Guild: An acting group for youth 5-14+ to put together, rehearse, and perform plays (some Shakespeare)plays: The Hobbit, Without a Constitution, The 5 Dancing Princesses, The Candy Shop play, Taming of the Shrew, A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Science Class: teach high school science to 12 + using Apologia Science, while other amazing women hold hand's-on science classes for my younger children. I knew that generic biology degree would come in handy someday! :)
Mission Minded Mom’s breakfast: a somewhat quarterly time for women to come together and share their successes and frustrations as they fulfill their personal missions and gain encouragement from others. A potluck breakfast is enjoyed.
Vanguard Youth: A group for 12+ to teach science/math, leadership/constitution, geography/culture, service and entrepreneur classes.
Joy Lunch Club: This is a group I have started on my own in my local community with the purpose of bring women together to "find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood". We bring whatever scraggly left-over we were going to have for that day, meet at my less-than-catalog house for one hour once a month, and share our experiences of the past month, uplift and edify one another with quotes and songs we have thought of or that have impressed us, and seek greater determination to do the above quote. Super low-maintenance, and joy-filled!

Letter to my city planning commission

Just thought I would post this for kicks...the man sat in front of us and made it quite clear that he had no obligation to hear anything we had to say to him...then or ever! Hmmmm....in a public office?

"I am writing with regards to the meeting I attended two Thursdays ago, in which the proposal for the new junior high was presented by the school district.

I was concerned that you, also a citizen of my town, would feel so threatened by the peers of your community that– despite the council of your fellow commissioners– would first, take the opportunity to arrogantly throw your authority around; second, grudgingly allow for public comment once it had been established that public comment could in fact be heard; and third, reinstate your authority following the time for public comment, even going so far as to deliberately diminish the issues that were brought up by the public.

In light of this behavior, I would like to take a few moments to address my concerns.
First, any position in healthy government, whether appointed or otherwise, is responsible ultimately to those their decisions impact; even in a monarchy. (The root of the work "king" itself denotes "servant", interestingly enough.) Perhaps there is such thing as a "natural aristocracy", as Plato and Jefferson propose, and as you seemed to believe, with your superior air. However, reading further into their works, it is clearly established that is not something an individual gains by appointment; rather something they exhibit through their deportment.

I have no doubt that you feel that you have state statutes as well as local statutes to validate the autonomy of the decisions of the council. However, the manner of your delivery reflected one of defensiveness with an intent to belittle those who had expressed an interest in the proceedings by their attendance. Perhaps you were just having a bad day.

I don’t think any of us in attendance thought that we would be able to have any type of voting power in that situation. We simply wanted to make sure all of the facts had been addressed and considered. Any good leader recognizes that they by themselves do not have the ability to consider any situation from every angle, and welcomes others who feel that they might have information to help them make a more educated decision. I appreciated the reminder given to "the public" to not simply restate the concerns already mentioned and waste the council’s time, and thought "the public" did an admirable job considering the obviously grudging consent to speak you gave them.

When your fellow commissioner asked what venue the concerned public had to voice their concerns to you, you gave no email, no recommendation to contact you or the council at a different time: you simply reinstated your right to not have to listen to anyone outside of the commission. This reflects a disturbingly narrow-minded mentality. Your defensiveness was further established when there was actually time set aside for public comment within the agenda of the meeting; yet no indication was made of this open forum at the time referred to above in this paragraph.

May I make a recommendation? If you would seek to perpetuate your role in any type of leadership position, perhaps you could benefit by the reading and application of some books designed to help in situations such as these: "Leadership and Self-Deception" by the Arbinger Institute, Covey’s "Seven Habits of Highly Effective people" (with special consideration to the sections on "synergy" and "interdependence"), and "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Carnegie.

Any healthy government should seek for the good of both the individual as well as the community. Of course this is a delicate balance between extreme socialism (exclusive good of the community) verses extreme capitalism (exclusive good of the individual). In this situation, I appreciate the intent of the council that was demonstrated to both seek the good of the community in establishing a junior high in west Kaysville as well as consider the impact on the local population. I would simply ask you to reflect upon your behavior towards your peers here in your community. No official in our government is so far removed from the people that they are not ultimately accountable to them.

I thank you for your time and consideration.

Humanity

"The tendency to avoid challenge is so omnipreset in human beings that it can properly be considered a characteristic of human nature. But calling it natural does not mean it is essential or beneficial or unchangeable behavior. It is also natural to defecate in our pants and never brush our teeth. Yet we teach ourselves to do the unnatural until the unnatural becomes itself second nature. Indeed, all self-discipline might be defined as teaching ourselves to do the unnatural. Another characteristic of human nature--perhaps the one that makes us most human--is our capacity to do the unnatural, to transcend and hence transform our own nature."--pg 53 "Road Less Traveled" Peck

personal "Math" classics

The Scriptures (see my definition of math :)...)
A Beginner’s Guide to Constructing the Universe
Flatland
String, Straight-edge, and Shadow
The Warlord children’s picture book series
An Introduction to Mathematics
Euclid
Mere Christianity, Lewis
The Road Less Traveled, Peck
Walden

math=the art of wonder!

My definition of "math"= The pursuit of Truth...the art of wonder.

In ancient times, "philosophers"sought to find truth and consistency in the world around them, seeking order and patterns, like the rotation of the seasons, the life cycle of a tree, etc. This was considered the study of mathematics. It included the study of astronomy, music, and others as well as the acceptable "math" subjects of today: geometry and arithmetic. The world around them was studied and observed and observations became hypothesis, theory and then a few of them achieved the status of "laws". They did not limit their study to anything, finding consistency and patterns in things from cooking, to astronomy, to religion, to accounting.

I love the passage in the LDS Doctrine & Covenants 88: 77-80, 118 (see also my posting of "Science and religion"):

Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;
Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms–
That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you,
and the MISSION with which I have commissioned you...
As and all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another
words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom;
seek learning even by study and also by faith.

The problem with today's mathematics is that we are feeding the "laws" to our children without helping them through the marvelous process of observation, the "why" of what mathematics is all about...and then we wring our hands in frustration as they don't seem to grasp the little tricks we have been taught to manipulate these laws!...crazy.

We are limiting our understanding of the world by not encouraging the "why", the wonder of observation, and the marvel of discovering patterns and connections all around, what I like to call "ah-hahs!" on every level. From a child's delight at finding a bud poking out of the ground that they planted the winter before or the difference between snowflakes as they seek to find two that are identical, to the years of study that yielded the concept of calculus...these are all connected and valid paths to the pursuit of truth, ...if they are allowed to blossom.

Thus, it is with heavy heart and frustration that I hear the ever-growing cry, "I hate math!" and realize that the art of wonder is being lost.

Science and Religion

"Scientific Tradition: Methodology–
"In it’s laudable insistence upon experience, accurate observation and verifiability, science has placed great emphasis upon measurement. To measure something is to experience it in a certain dimension *see Flatland!*, a dimension in which we can make observations of great accuracy which are repeatable by others. The use of measurement has enabled science to make enormous strides in the understanding of the material universe. But by virtue of its success, measurement has become a kind of scientific idol. The result is an attitude on the part of many scientist of not only skepticism but outright rejection of what cannot be measured. It is as if they were to say, "What we cannot measure, we cannot know; there is no point in worrying about what we cannot know; therefore, what cannot be measured is unimportant and unworthy of our observation." Because of this attitude many scientists exclude from their serious consideration all matters that are–or seem to be–intangible. Including, of course, the matter of God." (Pg 226, The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck)
"This beginning possibility of unification of religion and science is the most significant and exciting happening in our intellectual life today. But it is only just beginning. For the most part both the religious and the scientific remain in self-imposed narrow frames of reference, each still largely blinded by its own particular type of tunnel vision. Examine, for instance, the behavior of both in regard to the questions of miracles. Even the idea of a miracle is anathema to most scientists. Over the past four hundred years or so science has elucidated a number of "natural laws", such as "Two objects attract each other in proportion to their mass and in inverse proportion to the distance between them" or "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed." But having been successful in discovering natural laws, scientists in their world view have made an idol out of the concept of natural law, just as they made an idol out of the notion of measurement. The result is that any event that cannot be explained by currently understood natural law is assumed to be unreal by the scientific establishment. In regard to methodology, science has tended to say, "What is very difficult to study doesn’t merit study." And in regard to natural law, science tends to say, "What is very difficult to understand doesn’t exist." (The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck, pg 228)

There was an old lady who swallowed...

I had a thought last night as I read "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" to my children and initiated a little discussion. That old lady was continually consuming larger and larger animals in order to "take care of the problem". Now did she tackle that fatal horse right up front? Of course not! It would be to formidable! However, she gradually kept allowing the problem to get more and more out of hand, even in the face of reason.

It reminded me of my life, and how, sometimes, I feel that in order to solve that problem that is in front of me, or "fix" things or myself, I need to continually do more and more, bigger and better. What if I just digested the problem (aka the fly) and moved on with my life? Do we gradually fill our lives with bigger and bigger things, thinking, "oh, it’s just a little more time" or "oh, my children need just a little more....in their schedule" (you fill in the blank), until we are all ambling about awkwardly chasing that proverbial horse, determined to do "just one more thing"!

Empowering quotes, etc.

Elder M. Russell Ballard (Ensign, Nov. 2008): The challenges we face today are just different, but no less demanding. The Lord isn’t asking us to load up a hand cart; He’s asking us to fortify our faith. He isn’t asking us to walk across a continent; He’s asking us to walk across the street to visit our neighbor. He isn’t asking us to give all of our worldly possessions to build a temple. He’s asking us to give of our means and our time despite the pressures of modern living to continue to build temples and then to attend regularly the temples already built. He isn’t asking us to die a martyr’s death; He’s asking us to live a disciple’s life.


I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
"Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.
And he replied,
"Go into the darkness and put your hand in the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!"
So I went forth and finding the Hand of God
Trod gladly into the night
He led me towards the hills
And the breaking of day in the lone east.
So heart be still!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Nelson Mandela

We might as well have been born in some other...dispensation, unless we can feel that we have a mission in Zion. We are living to be Saints. (Eliza R. Snow, as quoted in Dew, pg. 203)

We need to get a celestial education and share it with others along the way.

Jesus taught that each of us should exhibit an active love and benevolence towards every one of His Father’s children.

I want to be my children’s greatest cheerleader, not their greatest critic.

I want to fill their lives, hearts, and dreams with love and confidence, not doubt and insecurity.

What I say reaches their soul--

What a gift, what a privilege,...

what a responsibility.

“Our only confidence can be in God; our only wisdom obtained from Him; and He alone must be our protector and safeguard, spiritually and temporally, or we fall.” (Joseph Smith, Teachings of, pg 161)

FAVORITE SCRIPTURES

Be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you. (D&C 61:36)

Be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom of heaven is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours. (D&C 78:18)

Ether 12:4

Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the

souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

Romans 8:16

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God.

D&C 5:34

Yea, for this cause I have said: Stop, and stand still until I command thee, and I will provide means whereby thou mayest accomplish the thing which I have commanded thee.

D&C 123:17

Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

James 1:27 : “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

Psalm 23

2 Nephi 4

D&C 84:88

Mosiah 18:12

“O Lord, pour out thy Spirit upon thy servant, that (she) may do this work with holiness of heart.”

1 Nephi 19:9

And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught: wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.

Mosiah 4:14-15

And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another...But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.

FAVORITE POEMS/SAYINGS

A Mother’s Prayer

Oh give me patience when tiny hands

Tug at me with their small demands

And give me gently and smiling eyes;

Keep my lips from sharp replies.

And let no fatigue, confusion, or noise

Obscure my vision of life’s fleeting joys,

So when, years later, my house is still–

No bitter memories its room may fill.

Author Unknown

Alexander Pope Quote
’Tis education forms the common mind: Just as the twig is bent the tree’s inclined.

It is our duty to make the world better for our having been in it

The question, then, is: Which will give the more abundant life–pampering our physical nature or developing our spiritual selves? Is not that the real problem? –Heber J. Grant

Come unto me,” the Savior said, “all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt 11:28) So you come unto Christ to be yoked with Him and with His power, so that you’re not pulling life’s load alone. You’re pulling life’s load yoked with the Savior and Redeemer of the world, and suddenly your problems, no matter how serious they are, become lighter. That’s what we mean by coming unto Christ, being yoked to Him. (Elder Nelson, Ens. June 2005, pg 18)

“Every noble impulse; every unselfish expression of love; every brave suffering for the right; every surrender of self to something higher than self; every loyalty to an ideal; every unselfish devotion to principle; every helpfulness to humanity; every act of self-control; every fine courage of the soul, undefeated by pretense or policy, but by being, doing, and living of good for the very good’s sake–that is spirituality.” Heber J. Grant

“The man who...[has] in mind making better the world in which he lives, desiring to contribute to the happiness of his family and his fellows. And who does all things for the glory of God, will, to the extent that he denies himself for these ideals, develop his spirituality.” Heber J. Grant

What are we working for? Wealth? Riches? If we have embraced the gospel of Jesus Christ, then we are working for eternal life...It is far better if it is possible for us to start the children out in the battle fo life with nothing recorded on the pages of their years, except good deeds and faith-promoting thoughts.

[I] hope that parents will realize that the example of integrity, of devotion, of loyalty to the Gospel, and the disposition not to find fault, but to labor diligently and unceasingly for the advancement of truth, it a marvelous heritage to leave to their children. –David O. McKay

Contend not with others, but pursue a steady course–

Gordon B. Hinckley

LEST WE FORGET

She came tonight as I sat alone
The girl that I used to be...
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully.

Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes that I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame
All wonderful things to do.

Where is the mansion of stately height
With all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels for your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad,
For I wanted her pleased with me...
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl I used to be.
So gently arising, I took her hand,
And guided her up the stair
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me;
That silken robe is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.

And my mansion of stately height is Love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltering walls
For the dear ones who come and go.

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me;
And I saw that the woman that I am now
Pleased the girl that I used to be.

Rowena K. Lewis

Horror gripped the heart of the World War I soldier as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he might go out into the No Man's Land" between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back. “You can go,"said the Lieutenant, “but I don't think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your own life away.”

The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder, and bring him back to their company's trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend. “I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. Your friend is dead, and you are mortally wounded.”

“It was worth it, though, sir," the soldier said.

“How do you mean, worth it?'" responded the Lieutenant. Your friend is dead!"

“Yes sir," the private answered. “But it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive, and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say, ‘Jim, I knew you'd come.‘”

"This Little Light of Mine" Editor: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Barry Spilchuk

Quotes from “A Discussion with Russell M. Nelson”: “What counsel would you give people who wish they were more committed but find it difficult?” His answer: “Those people need to have a little private time and ask themselves what they really want in life. Is it entertainment? Is it wealth? Is it fame? They need to decide what they really want to accomplish. No runner ever starting a race would ever start without knowing whether he’s doing a hundred-yard dash or a marathon. Many people, in and out of the church, have not really named their objectives, what they want to accomplish more than any thing else. But once they have made the decision to be a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ, to emulate His example, to live according to His precepts, then their commitment is secure. That has to be done individually....

“Repentance is more than just undoing the wrongs you’ve done. It’s a whole change of your outlook on life. You want to think like the Lord. You want to talk like the Lord. You want to act like the Lord. You want to believe, you want to pray, you want to love the way the Lord does.”

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, while the bearer delivered only one and a half pots of full water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day
by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself and because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all
the way back to your house."

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the
path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw and I
planted flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day while we walked back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace this house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

Elder Robert Whetten (Ens. May 2005, pg. 91)

“Conversion means consecrating your life to caring for and serving others who need your help and sharing your gifts and blessings. The Lord didn’t say, “Tend my sheep when it is convenient; watch my sheep when you aren’t busy.” He said, “Feed my sheep and my lambs; help them survive this world; keep them close to you. Lead them to safety–the safety of righteous choices that will prepare them for eternal life”...Every unselfish act of kindness and service increases your spirituality. God would use you to bless others...In your journey through life, you are to reach out and bless the lives of your fellow travelers, to give of yourself to those who need you. “For whosoever will save his life,” the Master said, “shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.”

"I REALLY LIVED"
By Sister Marjorie Hinckley

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.

I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children.

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.

I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

“It is not for you to be led by the women of the world; it is for you to lead...the women of the world, in everything that is praise-worthy, everything that is God-like, everything that is uplifting and that is purifying to the children of men.” (Joseph F. Smith, as quoted in No Doubt About It, Sheri Dew, pg. 43)

“Gordon B. Hinckley; “You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And that good that is in you must be spread to others.”“ (No Doubt About It, Sheri Dew, pg 3)

Ideally, the family is a place where we may safely retreat, where we may safely be vulnerable, where we develop resilience and replenish our emotional supply, and where we are taught what is important, what is good, and where happiness really comes from. (No Doubt About It, Sheri Dew, Pg 57)

“Our young people need love and attention, not indulgence,” taught President Benson. “They need empathy and understanding, not indifference, from mothers and fathers. They need the parents’ time. A mother’s kindly teachings and her love for and confidence in a teenage son or daughter can literally save them from a wicked world.” “Praise your children more than you correct them, “ he counseled. “Praise them for even their smallest achievement... Encourage your children to come to you..with their problems and questions by listening to them every day.”

“My plea...is a plea to save the children,” President Hinckley has said. “Too many of them walk with pain and fear, in loneliness and despair. Children need sunlight...They need kindness and refreshment and affection. Every home, regardless of the cost of the house, can provide an environment of love which will be an environment of salvation.”

It is time to give ourselves to the Master and allow
Him to lead us into fruitful fields where we can
enrich a world filled with darkness and misery. Each
of us, no matter who we are, no matter where we serve,
must arise and make the most of each opportunity that
comes.Jeffrey Holland

"Our world needs straightening up. It needs leadership. It needs
enlightenment. It needs those who are able to analyze problems and
suggest solutions, those who can draw upon the past to make
intelligent decisions for the future, those who understand the
ramifications of certain kinds of actions, those who appreciate fully
the interplay between virtue and morality and integrity and the fabric
of society." Pres. Hinckley

"It is not enough to just live, just to survive. It is incumbent on
each of us to equip ourselves to do something worthwhile in society -
to acquire more and more light, so that our personal light can help
illuminate a darkened world. And this is made possible through
learning, through educating ourselves, through progressing, and
growing in both mind and spirit." Pres Hinckley

"Each of us, regardless of our circumstances, can find a way to study
and grow. Our industry in so doing will cause the years to pass faster
than we might wish, but they will be filled with a sweet and wonderful
zest that will add flavor to life and power to our personal influence
and ability to teach and lead." Pres. Hinckley

"If our hearts are fixed on the Savior, we will have a solid reason
to rejoice, to rejoice in spite of adversity and to rejoice even in
our adversity. Sometimes we make our burdens heavier because we
think we shouldn't have problems. We feel guilty. We compare
ourselves to (others) . . . we don't need to compare ourselves to
anyone else. We are okay, just the way we are, each of us, with our own needs, our own abilities, our own desires of righteousness, and
our own set of obstacles to overcome. . ."

"If you're doing the best you can, that's good enough. I don't know
many men and women who aren't doing their absolute best in every
way, but plenty of them keep track only of the things they don't do
perfectly. Many people I know accomplish a phenomenal amount, but
often they don't pay attention to what they've done. Rather they
concentrate on what's left undone or what remains still to do. Their
hearts are literally downcast. They have given their hearts to their
burdens, not to the great Helper and Lifter of burdens. . ."

"When you feel discouraged, when all of your courage has leaked away
and you feel downcast and your lower lip is getting too close to
your jogging shoes, I give you permission to pat yourself on the
back for what you are doing. The savior did not suffer in Gethsemane
and die on the cross to rebuke you, to chastise you, to turn his
back on you, and to despise you. He did all of these things so that
he could redeem you and save you and lift you up to meet him in the
clouds of glory at his second coming, "and so . . . ever be with the
Lord" (1 Thessalonians 4:17). That is the glorious message of the
gospel to all of us." Chieko Okasaki

You can have the utmost assurance that your power will be multiplied many times by the L0rd. All He asks is that you give your best effort and your whole heart. Do it cheerfully and with the prayer of faith. You will feel at some time, perhaps at many times, that you cannot do all you feel you must...The forces arrayed against you will try not only to frustrate your work, but your desire to do Dis will, and your asking in faith will determine how clearly the Master can guide you by answers to your prayers...He chose you...The Lord knows you...He has prepared a way so that He could issue your call.

–Elder Eyring, Oct 2002

♡So trusting my all to thy tender care, and knowing thou lovest me, I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere,... I’ll be what you want me to be.”♡

Faith is not only believing that God can, but knowing that He will...

Out of clutter, find simplicity

From Discord, find harmony.

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.--Einstein

We must be the change we wish to see in the world- Gandhi

“If Americans should ever come to believe that their rights and freedoms are instituted among men by politicians and bureaucrats, then they will no longer carry the proud inheritance of their forefathers, but will grovel before their masters seeking favors and dispensations” –Ezra Taft Benson (“The Proper Role of Government” 1968)

WEAKNESSES

Weakness in seeing perspective in trial: Elder Damiani (Ens. May 2005, pg 95) “Jesus Christ told the Twelve Apostles some of the things that can destroy our hope and make us give up: allowing ourselves to fall into temptation; not enduring affliction, tribulation, and persecution; fearing “the cares” of the world; seeking wealth first; giving us instead of enduring to the end.”

Questions to ask: What does the Lord want me to do in this situation? How can we know whether we are being tried or whether the Lord is punishing us?

Scriptures to remember: Whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance. (D&C 95:1)