Shoulder knots and marriage

A few days after we got here, my mom started getting some sharp pains...in her earlobe!  We couldn't figure it out!  How random.  I tried rubbing her neck, trying to find the sore "origin" spot for the sharp pain in her earlobe, but to no avail

And then, I hit it.  A solid knot of muscle in the middle of her shoulder that was as tight as anything I have ever felt.  But she hadn't felt any pain there at all....

I rubbed and massaged, trying to loosen it, but it had obviously been there for a little while.

It made me think of pains in marriage :).

Sometimes it seems like we have painful stabs of pain in different areas of our relationships with our spouses...and in seemingly "random" places.  It could be something they say out of the blue, or something they do, or even just something they don't do. (Of course, I am speaking from the experiences that I have heard from other people, not my own :).)  Often, I believe our sensitivity to "little things" is from those big hidden knots in our "shoulders"...or in other areas of our marriage relationship that are deeper.

It made me think about how important those little massages, or little acts of love, are in keeping the pains out of the rest of the areas of our marriage, by preventing them or at least easing the pain when problems do arise.

I love the book, "Five Love Languages for..." teens, adults or kids.  (I prefer listening to the one for kids, because then it discusses the love languages in language appropriate for any little listening ears.)  It reminds me of the many ways I can love my spouse and my children.  And while it is nice to know their primary love language, I think a "sprinkling" is a fun way to keep the courting alive.

Physical touch: quick rub of the shoulders, touch of the arm in passing, forehead rub when the pressure is high, holding hands, quick kiss (in front of kids is much more fun)
Service:  Do something you normally don't do!  We all serve our spouse directly and indirectly by providing income for the family, taking care of the kids, cleaning up the house, etc.  It is good to look for something a little extra.
Gifts:  These don't have to be purchased.  To a gift giver, sometimes it is just the time you took to think of them and consider something that will bless them and then give it to them: a card, a flower, a batch of cookies, a quick note.  Even a little something from the store that doesn't cost much is a little pick-me-up that says, "I was thinking of you and love you."
Quality Time:  Go on a walk!  Sit and chat.  Wander to the dishes where your spouse is working and be with them.  Play a quick game.  And, something I learned from Julie and am still not good at :), put down what you are doing when they come in the room and be with them! Novel idea, eh? :)
Words of Affection:  Hey, how ya doin?  What you thinking?  Love you!  You look great!  Thanks for doing that.  Your hair looks nice :).  You look great in that suit!  You make me smile. I appreciate all you do.

Now...to practice it on my own better, and keep those sore spots from forming in our marriage :)!