Flipping my clouds inside out...

 PART I: awareness

Yesterday I started exercising again and headed out along the dirt road by our home.  I focused on the road, fearful of stumbling.  At one point, I felt prompted to look up and once again was taken by the beauty of the forest I live in.

"Keep looking up.  Don't focus so much on the road. Enjoy the journey."

This reminder from heaven was symbolic for me.  Sometimes I am so worried about all the possible ruts in the road ahead, I exhaust myself canvassing for them.  

And don't enjoy the journey.

"Mary, I know that you love Me and want to obey Me.  Why don't you trust Me to guide your feet for a while and make your pathway straight.  I've got this."

Trust.

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PART II: action and obstacles

Later that day, I had a few miracles happen as I deliberately let go of worrying about some real and immediate pressing things.  I took some action on some, stood still on others but didn't obsess or worry as much as usual.  Basically, I was able to step back and realize that the path ahead didn't require my monitoring. I could breathe and relax and enjoy the journey.

Of course, as the day wore on, there were a few things that I did worry about...one of them ironically being when a project kept running into glitches and I found myself grounding to a halt.  After a night of little sleep with my little one and a morning and afternoon full of work and fun, my stamina was spent.  

And I felt negative.  About having to stand still.

A favorite scripture that has repeatedly come to mind lately made a reappearance at that time:

17 Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us ^acheerfully ^bdo all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the ^csalvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.

How can I let myself acknowledge when I have done all things?  I yearn to do it cheerfully. Reflecting, I do find myself smiling more often at myself...maybe it's working. 

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PART III: "flipping" the clouds

A poem I came across as a young mom also floats through my head often:

Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids

on a merry-go-round

Or listened to the rain

slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down

Don’t dance so fast

Time is short

The music won't last

Do you run through each day

on the fly

When you ask “How are you?”

do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,

do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

running through your head?

You’d better slow down

Don’t dance so fast

Time is short

The music won’t last

Ever told your child,

We’ll do it tomorrow

And in your haste,

not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

‘Cause you never had time

to call and say “Hi”?

You’d better slow down

Don’t dance so fast

Time is short

The music won’t last

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away...

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

This morning I lay in bed with literally the next several chores running through my head.  "If I am doing things right, why do I have so much to do?" I found myself wearily asking.

And then things shifted.

It's like Heavenly Father took all those "chores" on my list and flipped them around:

Chores = Opportunities.

My need to teach my children = time to grow closer to them

My need to ready the coop for our growing animals = opportunity to work with my children and create and solve problems

My need to use our Rug Doctor to prep our van for an upcoming trip = opportunity for my kids to figure it out and experience the sense of accomplishment that comes with something deeply clean.

Yet another familiar quote came to mind:

The inner half of every cloud is bright and shining; I therefore turn my clouds about’ and always wear them inside out to show the lining - Ellen Thorneycroft Fowler

It's amazing to me how much of life can be changed by a change in perspective.

Time to go and enjoy the opportunity of my bed and the quiet house to get some more sleep now that my brain has had a chance to express itself.

I look forward to hearing the music more when I wake up again, after all these gentle reminders from heaven.