Adversity from the Perfect Mentor

I had a conversation years ago with Michele Smith, an amazing woman and treasured "voice in my head" :).  We were on our way to a TJEd training, and I was lamenting that I didn't have a mentor.  She turned to me and said something like, "Mary, of course you have a mentor.  God is our ultimate Mentor, and He is the one you should always look to first."  So, through the years, I have turned to Him in my own imperfect way, seeking His guidance, and seeing the fruit of what He is doing with my life.

However, today, my perspective on this mentoring relationship took on new meaning.

This morning in my brief "studies" (the few minutes I took while nursing my baby--sneak it in while I can, right?), I opened up my topic study book to the page of "Adversity."  I read the scripture in Isaiah 30:20 which states:

20 And though the Lord give you the bread of ^aadversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not ^bthy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy ^cteachers:

 Underneath it, I had this note: "The Lord gives us adversity and affliction; we need our eyes to be the teachers in those times."  Funny.  I think I often tell myself that God Himself doesn't afflict us;  He simply allows the agency of man to afflict us.

Hmmm...

As I mulled upon this new thought, I had an ah-ha!  The mentor/student relationship is one where the mentor is where the student wants to go, and the student agrees to submit themselves to what the mentor demands of them...and sometimes, it is hard.  The mentor sees what the student is capable of, sees where they need to go, and, if the student is willing to go the distance, they can have what the mentor has.

I want to be where Heavenly Father is, and that will require some stretching, some pushing. and some changing.  Some hurting.  Sometimes, He may just give me affliction, knowing it is just what I need to grow right then, just like a loving mentor would to their student.

When I discussed this with my mom, she pointed out that she believes that we saw some of the tests we would go through before we came to earth.  My mind took a whole new direction with this thought...If this is true, coming to earth would be much like starting a course with a mentor, who hands out the assignments and outlines the course material.  We think at the beginning, "No problem!  I can work this in."

Then reality hits.  Mid-semester we are struggling...putting in some late nights for those big tests.  We form study groups and study alone.  We get sick, we let other things get in the way of what we know we must do to pass this course, we fail quizes and fall short on assignments...and still the mentor is there, showing the way.

Our Mentor is the perfect mentor.  He will always be there.  He has his office open at all hours and at all times.  He has student aids to help, and outside class sessions to strengthen, sustain, and teach us.  He gives us individualized attention and course work to best suit our needs and abilities...no two course works are the same! (Hey!  Epiphany about how this reinforces how senseless it is for us to "compare" or "compete" our way to "the end...love it!)

And the cool thing about this course?  If we try our best, and turn our hearts in His direction, His Son, our Elder Brother is there for the end of the exams, which is this life, to make up for what we lack.

Bread of adversity...water of affliction...How beautiful that He also uses that imagery for the sanctifying act that renews our covenants to submit to His mentoring and cleanses us anew each Sabbath day!  Adversity, like the sacrament, can be very sanctifying; and both can only be sanctifying if we choose to let them work that change within us.

Bread and Water by Steve Lyon-Bowes

So, to wrap my thoughts up,  why do bad things happen to good people?  Many reasons, I am sure, but sometimes, those good people just need to be better, perhaps.

Thank goodness for those group study session, weekly renewal, and endless office hours...and all available without appointment :).  Most of all, I am so grateful for the Perfect Mentor.

Honesty...wow.

We watched a movie called "The Emperor's Club" starring Kevin Klein last night.  It was...interesting. (Just for a head's up, I am going to talk about specifics in the movie, so if you don't want it to be given away, watch it first if you'd like, then read this..)

For those who are familiar with the following label, it was a "broken" movie:  a movie where good and bad are clearly defined in truth, but the bad "wins."  Or rather, neither do, but it is a very powerful statement about at least two things:

#1  The power of boundaries in parenting and mentoring:  The youth in the movie begins to be transformed by a teacher who actually stands for something.  The teacher talks about the need for morals, good and bad, and lives it.  The youth is impressed despite his spoiled, willfully rebellious personality, and changes.  Then, at a competition, the teacher discovers that this same youth is cheating.  When the teacher wants to call him on it, the administrator tells him to let it go (the youth's father is a powerful senator and large contributor to the school), and the competition continues, but the teacher is able to ask the cheating youth a question he hadn't prepared to answer and so the youth loses the last round.

However, the teacher later confronts the youth about his cheating, and the youth asks the teacher why the teacher didn't call the youth on it then.  The teacher says, "It's complicated." The youth says, "Was it because of my father?"  And, although the teacher denies it, the youth recognizes the truth of the situation, and spends the rest of his years at school, and then in life, reverted to that first rebellious condition.

I just finished reading "Five Love Languages for Teens" and this is one point that the author stresses: youth recognize honesty and need boundaries of decency to thrive.

This youth had neither.

#2 The power of honesty in society:  You see the ripple affect of this moment of lack of honesty in a powerful way, as the youth goes onto to recreate the original competition 25 years later, (complete with cheating) in an attempt to draw attention to himself so he can declare his intent to run as governor.    He invites the teacher to conduct the competition once again, the teacher once again picks up on his cheating, once again doesn't publicly call him on it, and then they have an interesting conversation.  The youth speaks cynically, representing the cynicism of our society: "It doesn't matter if I am dishonest if I can get ahead and get away with it."

I don't blame the teacher (the youth has his agency) but it reinforces the power of a mentor and his influence when he chooses to use it. (Side note: he is an excellent mentor in every other instance and I love his devotion to integrity, even in choosing to not be romantic with a married woman he obviously admires.  He also teaches history in stories, with passion, and to shape his students...love that!)

I am glad I watched this movie.  Even if the boy "seems" to get away with it, you can see the negative effect of it and the negative ripples it has on the behavior of himself and his peers.  His class goes on to be rowdy and disrespectful, even carrying that behavior into their adulthood in embarrassing ways.  You can see the wrongness of it in the teacher's demeanor and reactions to the behavior, to the dishonesty, and I feel that good and bad are portrayed in beautiful starkness.

*warning: couple scenes and profanity.  Check out the "kidsinmind" website to get specifics, and make the call for yourself.  I seldom endorse movies and don't this one: it's just some food for thought :).