Lessons from Utah and a Good Life

This is a bit of a vulnerable post. I felt I should share it. I pray that those who can learn something from it will read it and those who don't will not find it.  Sometimes trusting is hard.  It will be interesting to get up to Heaven and see how many times I felt "inspired" to do something was actual inspiration and not just something in my head. Here goes...

Hi, my missionaries!

It has been a great trip overall. I feel that things have really come full circle with some of the youth I knew here:

-Jordan's endowment

-Kenna's farewell

-Isaiah got his mission call in the mail but is away at Youth Conference so won't open it until Sat :D

-We are going to Jon Moore's homecoming in Andover, NY the Sunday after I get home (2 days!)

-Dallin and Megan in a play

-...and just so many youth all grown up and doing wonderful things :D.

It has been amazing for Drew, too.  He was going to go to public school next year but yesterday he startled me with a decision that he was going to go straight to GCC for classes and not go to public school next year.  I had been fine with whatever he decided and last night he walked me through his mental process. It was cool to see the hand of the Lord in our time together here.

Drew said that when he was in Utah before, he felt kind of lost, like he didn't really know who he was and just reflected those around him. (I had noticed that as well.)  When he came to NY, all of a sudden he was very different from his peers...in that he homeschooled, and some of them made him feel less for it. (Curse them.)  He felt that this attitude made him consider public school, just so he wouldn't be "missing out."  We were both at peace with it and, despite the struggle the school was having at placing him, we were both willing to pay the price so Drew could have that experience. I kind of wondered if that was the reason but felt if he wanted it, it would be best for him to do it and have no regrets.

Well, apparently coming to Utah and seeing a bunch of confident, capable, "happy with themselves" homeschoolers has changed his mind and helped him see that he is okay how he is and that there is freedom in being able to control your own schedule and education...and that you can be cool and happy at the same time!  He is excited now to start GCC and said last night, "I feel so happy and peaceful!  This must be what heaven feels like, although it is probably just 1/100th of what it feels like."  My heart felt so happy for him!  He feels more at peace with himself than I remember ever feeling.  

It was also cool going to the "drop-off" for all the equipment for camp.  It was yesterday morning and we got to meet Delose, the director, and the other leaders and boys all just have a great feeling about them.  Sure, they will be imperfect and probably drive Drew crazy on occasion (I warned him :D), but they are good people.  You could sense that.

Other than that, I had a great lunch with my brother, Dave, and he offered to do some facetime lunches later which he hasn't been up to for a while.  I had dinner with Nathan and Justin and really enjoyed talking with them while Drew played basketball with the Youngbergs, Packs and Bates. (Crazy that he would pick them over dinner with us, eh :)?)

Yesterday we went to Beus pond with Housholders and Bates and chilled and chatted. The youth were their usual awesome with the little ones (super cute!  like Aaron and Joy and Drew and Olivia H...tots adorb!) and I enjoyed soaking up a beautiful Utah summer day with good friends.  It has been funny.  Driving around Utah, my heart longs for NY.  It is more than just Daddy and the kids being there.  It is a feeling.  Karen said that perhaps it was because we have fought and worked so much to be there.  Perhaps :D.  And perhaps it has just become home in my heart. It was a good place to be.

I enjoyed a family gathering with my side of the family on Sunday night.  Everyone in Utah was there (except Justin) and it was fun to laugh and play games with everyone. I have found a couple more great games to share at home!  "Guillotine" and "Cover Your Assets" are two definite ones :).  I don't know if either of you were here when we discovered "Exploding Kittens" (morbid name, i know) but they had an expansion pack there that night.  Charla made her usual wonderous treat: a chocolate, cookie dough, peanut butter concoction that was the consistency of something between fudge and cheesecake.  Luscious.

I am looking forward to visiting again in December over Christmas.  We are thinking of driving you back to college, Tova, and visiting people along the way.  Grandma and Grandpa might be there to skype with you, too, Kel!  Party, party!

I am excited to go home tonight. My flight leaves a little after midnight and gets in about noon tomorrow into Rochester.  From there we head south to Hornell to celebrate Father's Day with Opa (and Oma, of course :D), spend the night, and then head to the Moore's for church in the morning to hear Jon report.  Oh, that reminds me, Enoch Woolsey just got home from California and said he knew a few people who came home to his area after serving missions in Hungary. Small world! (I didn't even realize Enoch had been gone!)

Today I am going to visit Marni in a couple hours.  We are going to watch a woman I knew from Oma and Opa's ward spin wool into yarn and dye it.  After I do that (and enjoy Marni) we are heading to SLC to have dinner and games with G-ma and G-pa.  I will drop off Drew at Housholders (hopefully....if the report from today's weather indicates that camp can open) so he can leave at 6 am, I will drop off the car at the Jensen's, hop on FrontRunner and go to the airport.  Crazy, crazy!

It is amazing to see the hand of the Lord in all things. He truly is there.  My brother Dave said that most people try and lay out their games of life so things are calm and get easier.  He said I seemed to make it deliberately hard for myself. I have thought about this.  I realized how it may look from the outside. I am really a home-body who likes consistency and comfort.  But even more than that, I have dreams for my kids, dreams of righting wrongs and fighting injustice, dreams of living a life of meaning and purpose.  God has answered my prayers for those dreams through the trials and adversity that come.  Some dreams are too big to be found in the logical re-arranging of our lives.  And they are worth it.

I thought about him and some of the struggles he is having with his life and children. It occurred to me that no path is easy.  No game is perfect no matter how much to try and rearrange it to be such.  I don't know what is best for him but I just thought, if I pray and act in faith, acting on the seeds God offers me when I request a certain flower or outcome, I need to be prepared to weed (adversity) and water (with tears) the seed He gives me in answer to my prayers to make it grow.

I have felt sometimes that I am truly losing myself in service to those around me...often at great sacrifice to myself. It has not always been done with holiness of heart and is often done with a victim mentality.  But as I have decided that I indeed want to serve God first, and have striven to prove it, He is now asking me "what do you want, my daughter?  what do you really want?"

I have found a life rich in meaning and purpose. I find myself surrounded by the fruits of years of sacrifice and service and a self that I can respect and even be happy with a little :D.  But most importantly, I find myself even closer to a God that I know, trust and love with all my heart.

The other day at the temple, after doing the session with Jordan, I found myself pondering on a chair on my own.  Out of the blue came the thought, "Mom, I am here."  I recognized that little spirit. It was my Isaak.  Overcome with tears, I took myself to the far side of the Celestial Room and faced the wall.  "i just wanted to give you a hug, Mommy."  And he did. I felt it as much as I have ever felt a hug.  And then the embrace was strengthened as I felt the arms of my Savior around me.  I recognized that embrace.  It held me as I rocked in pain on my bed after Isaak died.  It has held me so many, many times.

Life is sweet. Life is good.  Life is precious.  And the only way to truly find it is on the other side of self-less service.

Like in my Amish book ;).

Love you both with all my heart.  Thanks for your letters and your love...

:) Anyu-ommy

-- 

Family blog: www,thesingingbees.blogspot.com

"Mary-ness":  www.mylazarusquest.blogspot.com

It is what you read when you don't have to that determines
what you will be when you can't help it. ~Oscar Wilde

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.... You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you... We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Looking for God's hand

I had heard about Henry B. Eyring's experience with his journaling about God's hand over the years. I found an old journal on my shelf the other day, and felt inspired to start my own.  Now, whether on my "singing bees" blog or in there, I seek to record daily ways I have seen the hand of God.  I haven't missed a day, but it is amazing how freeing it is to know I can just write down one or two things and then crash.

This process has also been a calming and powerful influence to my soul.  It seems counter-intuitive, defies logic, and just genuinely baffling that something as simple as writing down a sentence or two can bring such peace, but I have found this true of most of God's ways:

 "8 ¶For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55

Excerpts from Elder Eyring: "When our children were very small, I started to write down a few things about what happened every day. Let me tell you how that got started. I came home late from a Church assignment. It was after dark. My father-in-law, who lived near us, surprised me as I walked toward the front door of my house. He was carrying a load of pipes over his shoulder, walking very fast and dressed in his work clothes. I knew that he had been building a system to pump water from a stream below us up to our property.

"He smiled, spoke softly, and then rushed past me into the darkness to go on with his work. I took a few steps toward the house, thinking of what he was doing for us, and just as I got to the door, I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.”

"I went inside. I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write. And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family. Grandpa didn’t have to do what he was doing for us. He could have had someone else do it or not have done it at all. But he was serving us, his family, in the way covenant disciples of Jesus Christ always do. I knew that was true. And so I wrote it down, so that my children could have the memory someday when they would need it.

"I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day no matter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.

"More than gratitude began to grow in my heart. Testimony grew. I became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that come because of the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ. And I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance—even things we did not notice or pay attention to when they happened.

"The years have gone by. My boys are grown men. And now and then one of them will surprise me by saying, “Dad, I was reading in my copy of the journal about when …” and then he will tell me about how reading of what happened long ago helped him notice something God had done in his day.

My point is to urge you to find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness. It will build our testimonies. You may not keep a journal. You may not share whatever record you keep with those you love and serve. But you and they will be blessed as you remember what the Lord has done. You remember that song we sometimes sing: “Count your many blessings; name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”

^{Here is a link to the full talk on LDS.org: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/o-remember-remember?lang=eng}

showering love?

When she deigns to join us in prayer :), Papaya, will stand on the bench up to the table, lower her head until it touches the surface, extend her hands onto the table on either side, and hold that position until we are done. Silly girl. She has also started biting playfully, so I get stressed sometimes with all her loving, hugging and kisses—nervous that she will surprise me with a bite of her sharp little teeth :). She loves everyone in our house, and will go around a room, like in FHE the other night, and give hugs and kisses and smiles...showering love all over...

...what would happen if I were like that? Hmmmmm.....

She also gives her father quite the intense kisses.  When he is laying down on the floor guiding us in scripture study, she likes to run up to him and play with him.  She used to just straddle his head and then squish her diaper down on his face (yummy).  Now, she gives him big slobbery kisses for quite some length of time,...in fact, the other night, she grabbed both sides of his head in a sideways embrace and held on while slobbering all over his mouth and nose.  Daddy asked if she learned that while watching Disney movies :)....

journal-Hava-lava-"isms"

February 3, 2012

Hava-lava pled with me the other day: “I need chocolate to make my body happy,... to make me feel better!” Amen, sister.

Goober did an amazing star presentation for Knights of Freedom the other day. He is quite the genius with creating this presentation. It was on space and black holes and had great info, fun graphics, awesome pictures, and was funny and pure Goober. It is fun to see his personality in the things he creates. The world he creates someday will have lots of awesome animals and colorful, exciting things :)! 

Funny how he can know and do something like that and not know how many months there are in a year...can you say "gaps in education"?  And the joyful part is I have no one to blame but myself :)...Fortunately, he learns fast and the situation has been remedied.    He knows now the number, name, and even the number of days in each month--homeschool success story!!

Hava-lava just said, “Excuse me, mom, excuse me, mom, excuse me, mom....” again and again, and I said, “Please wait for a minute while I finish typing” to which she replied, “Darn it! No!!, mom!” That's my Hava-lava...

Hava-lava tries to insist that I watch her go potty every day, every time. Whew. What a girl. She is in time out a lot, puts her animals in time out, and, if she knows she has done something wrong (normally on purpose :)...) she will ask, “I go to time out?” When I say, “yes”, she will normally say something like, “I don't want to go to time out!” What a spunky monkey.  She is definitely one who likes to see consistency, and likes to test the system :).

Update Jan 8

Goober and Chgger-dude are playing a Star Wars board game. They are having a great time and have already been playing it for over an hour! They paused graciously long enough to help with the next stage of Hava-lava's potty training---pooping in the potty! Goober read to Hava-lava, while Chugger-dude gallantly defended their board game from the encroaching monster baby...Papaya. What awesome kids.

Blossom is still sick. She has been sick since last Tuesday, poor dear, and has been so sweet throughout. She will ask for what she needs, but hasn't been demanding. When she asked someone to do something for her one time, they seemed a little put-out that she would ask. I thought about it and pointed out to that person, "She only asks because she is perfectly aware that she would want someone who is sick to ask her if they needed something... and she would be happy to do it for them :). Blossom is pure nurturer, through and through.

She reminds me a lot of myself when I am sick. Every once in a while (it seems to me...maybe it is demanding to those around me :)...), there is something that will increase my comfort, so I will ask whoever is near for it. Quinn, on the other hand, will silently suffer and endure, not troubling anyone. When we were first married, I didn't understand. Then, I was sitting in a RS meeting at BYU when a sister (Tina!) said, "I used to get frustrated when my husband wouldn't wait on me when I was sick, and that he didn't seem to want me to help him when he was sick. Then one day he patiently pointed out that when he was sick, he just wanted to be left alone, and figured she was the same way." Cool! Assumptions can be a dreadful interference to healthy relationships :). She said, "You tend to treat sick people the way you want to be treated."  Wise...

     Papaya just found someone's secret stash of popcorn behind the computer and is making sure the printer is working by pushing the test button repeatedly. Awesome. "Busy, busy, busy!" and "Ah-oh!" are my two most frequent saying with her lately. She is squishy, and snuggly (right when she wakes up or is very tired), but, other than that, doesn't stop climbing, exploring, testing, and do-ing! She can blow kisses now too, just in case I forgot to mention that before. She also loves to help us clean up messes (and then make them and clean them up again), eat crackers, go outside (although she is afraid of the snow), and loves, loves, loves other babies. Maybe it's time to have another one :)...She also loves dancing to music, running to Lekfor sympathy and love when things go wrong, and even prefers her father over food! Wow. True love. (I have used that strategy to get her down from the table many times.)

      Yesterday, it snowed! Woohoo! Quinn asked Grandpa who in the ward could use their driveways shoveled and he, Hava-lava, Pipalicious, and Blossom headed out to do some good works! The girls had a great time with their daddy.. It snowed even more at our old house than where we are at right now—unlike all the other snow storms we remember—which Avot was disappointed with. She did erect a quick snowman at our old house when we were there to clean-up last week. (The snow queen, for sure!) The house is almost done!! (I keep saying that, but it is even more "almost" done now :).)

Yesterday was also the annual Primary breakfast! As they got ready to leave, Quinn announced that he was walking and Grandma was driving: "Who wants to go with who?" Everyone shouted, "I want to walk!" Then, Pipalicious got her sweet little "thinking Pipalicious" look on her face and said, "I will ride with Grandma so she doesn't have to go by herself." This is so like our little Pipalicious! (Although, I can't call her so much that any more...she has grown a couple inches since we moved here :).)

When they got there, Quinn and Lek went to clean up the church, while the other kiddies went to enjoy some victuals. "Dad actually went to eat with the kids", Lek said. "I was helping them eat," Dad replied. Funny. Lek was promised some food, but got there just in time to see a lady serve herself up the last of the sausage, bacon, and eggs...oh! Painful! He was able to enjoy some waffles, though.

Drew and the peppah!

GOOBER ATE AN ENTIRE HABANERO PEPPER LAST FRIDAY!!!!!!!! It is 40 times hotter than the jalapeno and one of the group that is the third hottest peppers in the world. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale) So. A little background. His Knights of Freedom group had someone bring a presentation on various spicy peppers and the Scoville scale. Goober ate a Thai pepper then, and loved it! He asked for a ghost chili for Christmas and got some hot sauce, but we were still on the prowl for one. We saw that Macey's had some Habaneros, and, on the Macey's chart, it showed that it was a spicy pepper. We looked over all the peppers, unable to find anything that was identified as a Habanero. The only unidentified one was a sweet looking little orange one. "That couldn't be it," I reasoned, "It's too cute!" (This coming from the woman who thought it was alright to hitch a ride with a stranger in a car on 2^nd South downtown SLC by the homeless shelter when she was 17 and who, until well into adulthood, didn't realize a "cavity" was a "cavity" because it was very literally a hole in her tooth. We won't even go into her misconception about "wind chill" vs. "wind shield" factor...)

Well, that cute little thing was the habanero. We bought it, took it home, and (taking into consideration everyone's advice) had on hand a spoonful of sugar, some crackers, some bread and some milk. We got out the video camera, and Goober posed...and then ate it. I recommended one little nibble, but, no. He wouldn't have that. "If I am going to do it, I'm going to do it big!" He chomped the whole thing! I will post the video later after we have editted it for too much personal info (internet security--necessary evil!..blegh).  It was crazy hilarious. Quinn is not sure we won't be turned into DCFS for Child abuse if we post it. The poor dear guzzled milk, inhaled sugar, chomped through bananas, crackers, and bread mindlessly trying to calm the fire in his head :). It seemed like a long time before he was "normal" again. He said he would never do it again, but we will see—after the initial shock is forgotten, and the thrill is remembered :).

Saying Goodbye and Hungary specifics...kind of...

                One of the things I learned from the death of Isaak is really helping me in this current transition of saying goodbye to dear people.  I have already said “goodbye” for this life to someone infinitely closer to my heart…my dear son.  However, I know that I will not only see him again, but am confident that I will be able to raise him and be near him forever.  This assurance spills over into all the “goodbyes” I have made since then.  Knowing that I have the assurance of eternal relationships with dear people, I know that I will see them again and be near them. 

                And I think it goes deeper than that.  Isaak is a part of me, …I can feel him near often and the lessons I learned from his short life and the love that we share are always with me.  I feel that when I think on my dear friends,…those I am moving physically away from now and those I have parted with in the past.  I know that those relationships, if they are true, will be with me forever, and those dear people are a part of the very core of my make-up: the love, approval (I am a “blue” after all), and friendship they have given me; the way I have changed who I am because of their words and examples; their very faces and mannerisms!

                Maybe it just hasn’t sunk in…or maybe not.  I have women (and men) that I have had to divert my path from temporarily in the past, and each time those paths re-cross (even momentarily!) the relationship is rekindled, as if no time has passed at all.  I am banking on this, subconsciously bringing much peace to this whole time period of moving.

                Plus, (is that a legitimate word to be used that way?  Marni?) I have had so much confirmation that what we are doing right, through countless big and small things that reaffirm the rightness of this transition that it is, quite frankly, overwhelming.  It seems that when the words of others make me take a momentary pause to say, “Is this real?”, or "Shouldn't I be more sad or stressed?" I am bombarded with affirmation and peace from the Spirit.

                A few people have asked for a few more particulars about our “transition” so here it is :)…as far as I know it, anyway.  We are fixing up our house to sell it right now, as we live with my parents in the Salt Lake valley. (10 people+ new paint+ new floors=disaster; easy math, eh?)  It should be ready sometime next week. (Y'all should come and see it next week before we sell it :)!  We have the best realtor, of course...Quinn!...so it should go quickly.

              We have felt prompted to pursue a long-held dream to take our family to Hungary for a few years.  Whether we actually make it or whether we just have lessons we need to learn in the process it is in the Lord’s hands.  We are “anxiously engaged”, doing many things “of our own free will” (D&C 58:26-27), but know that the ultimate assurance of our success is in His hands.  Another option we have on the back burner that feels like a right alternative is moving nearer our dear brother and sister and their family who are moving from Florida in the near future.  Or, the Lord will direct us somewhere else nearby.

                As far as Hungary goes, now would be an ideal time to take our entire family over.  Avot is getting toward high school age, so it will be more challenging to do this when they are any older.  Afterward, Quinn would love to return to Kaysville, and I am content to follow him and the Lord, knowing that the Lord can do mighty miracles with and for us.

Journal update

Since this is going to be my "update" site for my friends and family while in Hungary, I may as well keep this up :).  I will try to label my posts well so readers can quickly find what they want...

      A while back, about six months before my son Isaak died in fact, my visiting teaching companion, dear Jenny, told me how her mother wrote faithfully in her journal every day for years.  She had 14 children (right, Jenny?) and still found time to do that!  Some days, she would write what they had eaten for dinner; other days, she would write heart-wrenching entries like, "I am nothing...."  Jenny inspired me by that and I wrote faithfully probably once or twice a week on average from then until my Isaak died.  It is one of my most cherished possessions, this account of the days with him before his death.
     Since then, I have been somewhat more sporadic, but the importance of journal writing has been forever engraved in my heart.  For those who want the updates, here goes!

   

Speaking in Church- Priesthood-Piperisms-Goodbye (Jan 1, 2012)

                When Quinn is being funny, he will “accidentally” call Hava-lava other people’s names, and she will firmly say, “No!  I’m Hava-lava.”  Today, when he said, “You’re beautiful,” she replied, “No!  I’m Hava-lava.” Silly girl.

                When Quinn starts tracing Pipalicious’s arm, she will stick it straight up into the air…silly girl.  She is “famous” for saying things like: “You’re beautiful! And special! And awesome!” Pipalicious is incredible at painting fingernails with all the polish she got for Christmas.  (As a consequence, my toenails are "beautiful and sparkly and special!")

                Quinn gave an amazing talk today in church about overcoming adversity through the atonement.  He was funny and charming and brought the spirit in beautifully.  I loved it!  The kids were even quiet so I could enjoy it.   He recited “The Race”, an awesome poem that had many people crying.  He is helping us stay in shape by getting us running in the mornings; he even brings along a football to motivate some of us :).

                Papaya is a handful.  We almost had enough food to keep her happy through Sacrament meeting today.  She loved having Sunday School in the chapel…she had more room to roam and got to test out the organ.  When we had finished in RS (well, the class hadn’t finished, but we were finished, apparently…Papaya kept hitting her head on things and wouldn’t leave the people behind us alone--they have a brand-new baby), we wandered the halls a bit.  We made it down towards the front of the building when I stopped for a minute and Papaya pulled someone’s scarf out of their hanging coat.  While I tried to get it back in, she made a break for it into the chapel again, disrupting Quinn’s High Priest lesson.  I caught her at the front of the room.  Busy, busy baby.  She can make the signs for “shoes”, “more”, “please”, and is saying some pretty adorable renditions of those words and a few other important ones like “Dad!” (her unabashedly favorite person in the whole world).  Avot taught her how to blow kisses too, which is almost as adorable as her little pucker up kiss that she freely shares.  She loves bedtime with her blanket and babies, sleeps well, and climbs on everything she can.  She loves to imitate and draws on everything she can get her hands on.

                Hava-lava is potty-training again and is really doing pretty well, when we can get her on the potty regularly.  I love that little darling.  She finally understands “wet” panties vs. “dry” panties (a huge hurdle!), loves getting treats for going, and is starting to do more and more of it on her own…love it!  I couldn’t have done it so easily without all the great training Avot gave her when she started her right after our move.  The combined transitions of moving and potty-training was too much for Hava-lava at that time, but she seems to be alright now.

                Avot and Lek have been babysitting up a storm while Quinn and I work on the house.  The house looks great!  The paint is amazing.  The whole family has been pretty wonderful throughout this transition, especially our folks.  Quinn’s dad has come out to help a lot, and my parents are so good to help out with the kids and be patient with us.  I have liked having my mom around more with the holiday and will miss her after she goes back to work and stress.

                The Goob is a hilarious 10 year old.  He loves to make jokes out of everything, loves to read the Friend online and all our scripture story books (he is a scripture story genius).  He impressed our Home teacher today with his knowledge of Moroni and his Title of Liberty. The Goob’s latest passion is trying out hot sauces.

                Blossom has a good friend in this new ward, and it is wonderful how similar they are to each other. She loves being by grandma, and I love snuggling with my little eight year old.  It is hard to believe she is going to be nine!  She loves to color, draw, and do origami.

                Chugger-dude is still my rock.  He loves to ride his scooter, play football with his daddy, build his new model car with Quinn, and play games with us.  He is boy through and through!

                Tonight, we spent the evening at Biesinger’s…listening to their setting apart (Quinn stood in the circle for his father—awesome!), eating yummy food, and playing games.We are going to miss them sooooooooo much!  They gave some awesome words of counsel, comfort and inspiration along with their testimonies, and I was so grateful to have been there.  I also love playing games with them, and will miss that, but am grateful for their sacrifice and example in serving a mission in Norway!

nicknames

Because of the sometimes sick world we live in, the following are the nicknames for my kids, oldest to youngest for my blog:

Avot

Razor or Lek (we haven't decided officially yet)

Isaak: can remain Isaak because he is deliciously safe from the evil of this world…

Goober or “The Goob”

Blossom

Chugger Dude

Pipalicious

Hava-lava

Papaya

Quinn came up with all of them but Blossom (imagine that...), hence their fun sparkle and flavor and (sometimes) lack of reasonable context...I love that man and what he adds to my life!

Sleep?

Last night, Quinn turned to me, as I had my typical pile of books next to the bed to do a "quick read through" before I pass out for the night, and said, "when do you sleep?" I lovingly looked at my pile of books and said, "Only when I absolutely have to...there's just so much to learn!"  Of course, realistically, I seldom get past one page reading in bed at night before my eyelids close on their own...

Maybe I am in scholar phase finally?  I don't know, but this learning business sure is a riot!  The other day I asked Avot to cover a map with blank outlines of all the countries of the world with one candy in every country.  Then, atlases by our side, we began!  One at a time, naming what countries we could using the maps or from memory.  We also watched my friends amazing presentation on prezi about North America that had cool pictures and links like "vimeo: naturally Haiti" that is all about their cool art and the Laia temple dedication video on You tube, not to mention a cool one on Inuits.  I hope she doesn't mind me sharing it!  It was so inspirational!  Then we talked a little bit about the Perpetual Education Fund, and Piper picked a cool page from the Friend magazine for my church about appreciating diversity.  So cool!

http://prezi.com/rinhrvlh3pfl/north-american-continent/

Then Goober taught Chugger-dude and I some cool math tricks from "Go Figure!", one of the truly coolest Math books in creation that we got for Christmas.  Fun day!  It's nice to have one of those sandwiched amidst some of the other "less productive" days :)...

POTTY TRAINING!!!!

Does it ever get "easier"? NO!  Does it every become more bearable..perhaps.  Perhaps it is as I begin to realize cleaning up poop hasn't killed me yet, and beds can become clean multiple times, and, yes, you can potty train using diapers at night and not be a failure in the long run :).  (I took the coward's way out.)

But then again, no mere coward could potty train dearest Hava-lava...

Today

We are still surrounded in totes here at my parent’s house, but have been steadily getting rid of more and more.  I just gave away two huge totes and two large garbage bags full of clothes from our “clothes storage”.  It is crazy how it just feels right.  My logical part of my brain has remained stunned and speechless as I find remarkable peace in getting rid of so much that I previously felt like was necessary…probably partly because before it felt right to keep it…

We had a special treat a couple days ago: we were able to go to lunch with a bunch of Quinn’s siblings.  As I came away from it and have thought about it since, I realize how blessed I am to have such amazing people in the family I married into!  I love them dearly and they are so good to me…  We went to the Cheesecake Factory and were treated to lunch by Quinn’s sister, and, boy!, was it yummy!  Unfortunately, this holiday season I have been surrounded with plenty of “yummies” and have been so tired and stressed that my self-control has gone out the window :).  So much for losing weight!

On to paint again today!  Things are really coming together at the house, so it should be soon now that we can get it on the market.   I must admit, it looks pretty nice! J  Quinn’s dad has been awesome at helping us paint, and my older ones have been amazing at watching the little ones while I do it with Quinn.  The kids want to paint our haza in Hungary before we move in so it looks szep. (Nice Hungarian, udja?)

Chugger-dude's birthday

For Chugger-dude’s birthday, we thought it would be fun to go swimming.  Everyone was feeling relatively better (except for Piper who quietly lay on the couch downstairs with Grandma and Grandpa at home the whole time), so Quinn and I thought it would be a nice treat for Chugger-dude on his birthday.  Quinn came up to where he was sitting and said, “Chugger-dude, for your birthday, mom and I thought it would be nice to do something super special…we’re going to clean out the garage!” After a pause, in which Chugger-dude looked stunned, Quinn quickly added, “Just kidding!  We are going to go swimming!  Doesn’t that sound fun?!”  Hyrum hid his face and burst into tears.  Baffled, Quinn and I looked at each other and I asked Chugger-dude, “Don’t you want to go swimming?” He always loved it before!  He raised a tear-filled face and said, “I don’t want to get cold outside!”  Poor dear…

shopping with Hava-lava

Quinn told Hava-lava to pick out some presents for Papaya at the DI for Christmas this morning, then watched as she walked down the aisle, saying, “Papaya likes this one; Papaya likes this one…”, until she had collected the following:

After she had finished,  Quinn told Blossom to take Hava-lava to the next aisle over so he could put the toys back without Hava-lava getting upset.  When Hava-lava came back to the emptier basket she was dismayed: “Where are all of Papaya’s presents?!”  Sweet dear.  Quinn assured her he had taken a picture of all of the toys, and she seemed to be alright.