Just throw it away and use the Lord's scale

There is a very interesting part of "A River Runs Through It" that was recently brought to my attention:

Check it out (it's about 5 minutes in):

(If the video doesn't work, you should be able to click on the image to go to it on youtube.)

The dad just throws the paper away!!  I am the queen of saving every cute and adorable paper that has my children's scribbles on them..."look at what they have done!" 

In a recent article by Andrew Pudewa, "Process verses Product: What matters more?" he uses this example to address his point:

This short scene illustartates something we so easily forget: Teaching a skill is more about process, less about product.  Honestly, the essay of the moment is often not worth keeping; it merely represents another step on the pathway of mastery.

But as Americans we are easily obsessed with products.  We want to obtain the writing sample we can hang on the refrigerator or proudly place in a portfolio.  Beliveing that what a student produces is proof of what has been learned, we put great weight on "finishing" a "final copy" and hope that the porduct is "good enough" so "he'll be ready for college."...But what are we really doing, and what is our real goal?" (http://bluetoad.com/publication/?i=199029 page 6)                   

It reminds me of a quote in a recent article I read, that what we do with our knowledge is more important than how much knowledge we have.

We cling to the success of the moment, thinking it will win us worldy acknowledgement, give us that boost of self-esteem, or validate our existence and will us our eternal glory.

Here is another great article, titled "Truth, Lies, and Your Self-Worth" from lds. org that reinforces this, particularly the section titled: "Lie: Self-esteem comes from worldly success" and the following section:

Lie: Self-esteem comes from worldly success.
This lie is related to the one about comparing yourself to others. Who determines what success is? Everyone’s definition may be a little different. And when you base your self-worth on achievements, you’re only telling yourself that you’re as good as your latest achievement. That’s simply not true.
Truth: God’s view and expectations are what matter.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf has taught, “Disciples of Jesus Christ understand that compared to eternity, our existence in this mortal sphere is only ‘a small moment’ in space and time (D&C 121:7). They know that a person’s true value has little to do with what the world holds in high esteem. … The Lord uses a scale very different from the world’s to weigh the worth of a soul” (“You Matter to Him,” Ensign, Nov. 2011, 20, 22).

Once again, you can overcome this lie by following the Lord’s way and being more concerned about His definition of success than the world’s. If you can consistently feel the companionship of the Spirit in your life, then it means you’re living the way the Lord wants. And if you do feel like you’ve failed in the Lord’s eyes, remember that you can come back through repentance

Another great quote:

Some years ago Elder Dallin H. Oaks explained: “The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.”¹

 

When the load seems heavy to bear...

I woke up feeling pretty down, lonely, overwhelmed and discouraged.

Then, an amazing husband made me some delicious waffles with strawberries on top, and an inspired daughter suggested an amazing talk on the sacrament by Elder Holland:

On some days we will have cause to remember the unkind treatment he received, the rejection he experienced, and the injustice—oh, the injustice—he endured. When we, too, then face some of that in life, we can remember that Christ was also troubled on every side, but not distressed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed (see 2 Cor. 4:8–9).

When those difficult times come to us, we can remember that Jesus had to descend below all things before he could ascend above them, and that he suffered pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind that he might be filled with mercy and know how to succor his people in their infirmities (see D&C 88:6; Alma 7:11–12).

To those who stagger or stumble, he is there to steady and strengthen us. In the end he is there to save us, and for all this he gave his life. However dim our days may seem they have been darker for the Savior of the world.

In fact, in a resurrected, otherwise perfected body, our Lord of this sacrament table has chosen to retain for the benefit of his disciples the wounds in his hands and his feet and his side—signs, if you will, that painful things happen even to the pure and perfect. Signs, if you will, that pain in this world is not evidence that God doesn’t love you. It is the wounded Christ who is the captain of our soul—he who yet bears the scars of sacrifice, the lesions of love and humility and forgiveness.

Those wounds are what he invites young and old, then and now, to step forward and see and feel (see 3 Ne. 11:15; 3 Ne. 18:25). Then we remember with Isaiah that it was for each of us that our Master was “despised and rejected … ; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief” (Isa. 53:3).

 What a fantastic answer to a prayer.  My load is still there, but it feels lighter :).

When a child weeps...

He cried.

I held my baby in his arms and heard his cries, his pleas.  He wanted the warm milk in my body and I could not give it to him.  It was there, a silent reminder of what he yearned for, but I knew that I could not give it to him.

You see, I was diagnosed with an infection, cellulitis, and had to start some heavy antibiotics since I had not started my herbal regiment soon enough.  And those antibiotics would invariably be in that milk my baby was crying out for.

As I held my child in my arms, weeping, knowing that yet another tender point in my stage of motherhood had just been passed, I comforted him, rubbing his back, rocking to him, singing, trying to fill the ache of his need through my love.  You see, nursing is much more than simply giving nourishment...it can be a gentle, tender, and beautiful moment to bond with your child.

This morning, as I reflected on that experience, it reminded me of our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  So often we yearn and cry for that which we think we need, things that have brought us pleasure in the past but are no longer what is best for us:
--that new job with an increase in pay
--a perfect vacation
--a car without problems
--the quick sale of our house (hmmm...)
--healing from a disease
 I wonder if, in those moments, our Heavenly Father lovingly holds us as we weep, as I did my little one, tenderly embracing us and loving us...knowing what we want but knowing that to give it to us would actually do more harm than good...that it could, in fact, be deadly, whether deadly to our spirit or our body.

The love that our Father in Heaven has for us is incredible.  Oh, how His heart must ache to hear us cry so!  How deep His love must be to keep from us what is not best!  May I trust Him....

Integrity, painful but good!

I have been really looking at integrity this month.  It is the focus of our study this month, in conjunction with our general focus of society and the rules and laws that make it up...very relevant, wouldn't you say?  I mean, who doesn't want integrity as they deal with other people as well as from their government?

So, I have read a bunch of interesting articles and books to go with it that I would recommend:
-Pride and Prejudice
-Lord of the Flies (compare the two...an interesting look!)

-Personal integrity talk by Elder Worthlin
-Elder Anderson's talk about teaching with faith, hope, and charity

-"An Anatomy of Peace" by the Arbinger Institute (still working on it)

-Several of the selections on the link: https://www.lds.org/service/teaching-the-gospel/principles-and-methods-of-teaching?lang=eng

These articles and books have made me look at my government, my assumptions, my groups, and particular my teaching and my actions and how integrity plays a part in them.  It has been painful and powerful.

For instance, I had a conversation with a young man in our acting group.  He expressed his attitude that he doesn't enjoy things he is good at because they are boring.  So he only goes half way, figuratively speaking, to do them.  I told him that if we use our talents all the way, in a way that blesses and serves then often we find out that we are and become better than we think we were.  On the flip side, I know many people--one example in particular--where people have not used their talents (like in the parable!) and they end up losing it.  In the example I was thinking of, a woman of great talent, who used to sing in competitions as a youth.  However, as she has grown older, she has not shared it and has admitted to me that she has lost the gift.  So sad!

On the flip side, as a youth, I was only an average singer, but was inspired by my parents, my dad in particular, to sing in ward choirs and whenever I was asked to.  We sang weekly in church, at home, and on the road.  Over the years, as I have continued this tradition of music, I have noticed my voice steadily getting better, and, while it still can definitely improve, now my little Primary kids  say, "You should sing opera!" (Obviously, they have never heard a real opera singer :)!)

But the point is...I have been blessed as I have used my talent to serve.

Now, for the painful part.

We are singing a song in our choir.  One that reminds me of my dad's favorite songs (nothing personal, dad :)...), the ones that came out of the 60's and should have stayed there.  The ones with lots of gliss-y chords, old-fashioned combination of music and lyrics,...we all know which songs I am talking about :).  The ones the teenagers cringe to hear in Sacrament meeting...anyway.  Our choir director picked one (he actually reminds me a lot of my dad :), too!) and it is a doo-zy.  Quinn and I keep going, but the kids have dropped off.  I have not gone with the best heart or attitude.

As I sat slumped in my seat last week, going through the motions, the spirit whispered in my heart, "Are you singing your best to Me?"  I wasn't.  I was guilty as charged, hypocrite extraordinaire.  So I took a deep breath, raised my hand, and asked for help on the many parts that I hadn't applied myself to learning before.

And do you know what?  It felt good and as I sang, I felt my heart soften and feel joy as I sung.

***************

Another thing I have looked at is my methods in the classroom.  The link above about the classroom technique has really caused me to reflect on how I do things.  I am in a teaching position a lot...as a mom and as a mentor...and I talk way too much!  Anyway, like I said, things to work on!  Enjoy!

Stop it!

I just watched this powerful video about bullying and the harm done over phones and "sharing"...when we are "just being funny."

Oh, how precious we all are!

May our words and actions reflect that!