New Year Creed

I have found my 2014 theme...

And do not be afraid to apply that influence without fear or apology. “Be ready always to give an answer to every [man, woman, and child] that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.” “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.” “Bring up your children in light and truth.” “Teach [them] to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”
http://lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/the-moral-force-of-women.p23?lang=eng

Now to start the battle of the census.  Re-painting the basement will have to wait.  There are freedoms to be won.  (Or "re-won" as the case may be.) Wish me luck! 

No excuses

I have loved reading in the New Testament as I strive to be more of a teacher, leader, and parent in the manner of Christ!  I fall far short of it, but it has been humbling, inspiring, and directive in helping change my life as I strive to be more like the leader Christ was.

I have noticed something in the Book of St. John where I am reading right now:  the beginning of the last several chapters I have read seem to be taking away any excuses I might have for becoming whom God wants me to become.

I first noticed it in chapter 9, when Jesus heals the blind man and tells the people that the blind man was blind not because the blind man or his parents had sinned, but "that the works of God should be made manifest in him."  It made me think of my weaknesses and inabilities, and I thought, "maybe the shortcomings of my situation that feel beyond my control are not there because I have sinned, but because God needs to work an obvious miracle in my life to the world?"  It made me think of the Savior, how he could have been born in a palace, son of a powerful and virtuous king...but he was not.  He was born in a lowly manger and still accomplished what God had for him to do on this earth.

I then started looking back at the chapter before that, chapter 8, in which he forgives the woman taken in adultery.  Not only was she a sinner, but it was obvious to everyone!  He gives her license to go and become whom God sees she can become in spite of committing one of the greatest offenses against God, for he saw into her heart, that she was truly repentant, and that she would, as it says in the JST of verse 11, "[glorify] God from that hour and [believe] on his name."  Hmmmm...past sins cannot get in our way.

Moving back further: In chapter 7, Jesus's very own kinsman have no faith in him and who he is, those who have seen him be perfect his whole life!  Wow.  Apparently the consent and approval of those around us (or the lack thereof!) is not essential to becoming God's servant.

Chapter 6: the feeding of the 5,000.  I have blogged on this before, but a quick recap: even if it seems that the resources we have (and the resources of those around us, from friends to "children") are limited, the Lord can work His miracles through us.  No excuses.

It made me curious as I t,hought about this, reflecting on the previous chapters that I had remembered, so I looked into chapter 5 as well: there, the lame man's excuse is "I have no one to move me to the water to heal me!" "I have no one to help me accomplish this seemingly impossible task before me!" is a cry I can relate to!  Of course, I have an amazing husband, wonderful children, and friends and family, but don't we all look around at one point and say "help!" and feel it isn't there?  Apparently, I am not looking toward the right source for that help :).

"He that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; For I do always those things that please him." (John 8:29)

One by one, the Savior showed by example that my excuses are merely that...excuses.  He is truly able to work with us to overcome all obstacles to doing God's work and becoming whom He would have us become, but, in each of these circumstances, he first requires an act of faith on our part: to gather the fish and bread, to wash our eyes in the water, to raise our eyes to look around for hope in the depths of despair.

So, what is to be my act of faith to open the way for miracles into my life?  Hmmm....good question :).  But at least this much is clear: I know that whenever I start telling myself excuses, chances are that is all they are...excuses.  And, chances are, if I look around enough, I will find a way that God has provided for me to accomplish His wonders in my life.

You never know...

What do we do when our burden seems heavy?  Where do we turn?

I loved the following story of a woman watching her grandson, as he calmly and lovingly stood by his Granny and stroked her hand:

I said to him, those who want to be baptized need to be willing to serve the Lord by serving others—for your whole life! I said: “I don’t know if you realized it, but the way you showed love and concern for Granny was keeping your covenants. We keep our covenants every day as we are kind, show love, and take care of each other.

Sometimes, honestly, I just want to give up...throw in the towel.  I get emails from people telling me that I have offended them (unintentionally, of course)...give up.  My baby pukes for morning after morning the week that I have three plays and two dress rehearsals, not to mention three other class engagements scheduled...give up.  I am endlessly behind in preparing for what seems urgent in my different homsechooling groups...give up.  The house is trashed...give up.  I cannot possibly be meeting the nurturing and educational needs of all these children!...give up. I have dishes in my sink from Thanksgiving...give up.  I am on my way to a dress rehearsal with almost a hundred people waiting for me, and one of my children accidentally locks both sets of keys in the car (my fault they are both in there), along with the key to the building we are rehearsing at...can I give up now :)?  I get home to find an email (among so many that seem to scream "urgent!" due to the time-sensitive nature of them for various groups I am in) saying that while we were there at the rehearsal we finally got to (thanks to a locksmith--$125 later), we had different behavioral issues come up that compromised the safety and morality of our youth...can I please give up now? Pretty please?

As I walked upstairs last night--feeling a little overwhelmed, I must admit--the thought went through my mind, "Daughter, I knew that when I asked you to do these things, your days and your home and, yes, even your emails would look like this.  This is my work.  I did not set you up for failure."  With my heart a little lighter, I went to bed.

When I awoke this morning, my mind afire with doubts once again, I headed downstairs to give distraction to the whirlwind in my mind.  As I sat down to start with my personal morning devotional of scriptures, Conference talk, and a prayer, the Spirit lovingly guided me to this talk, and I will continue to quote from it:

This covenant will give you opportunities to bless and serve others and help you to prepare for the covenants you will make in the temple. Thank you for being such a good example to me! Thank you for showing me what it looks like to be a covenant keeper!”
Porter replied back: “Grandma, thanks for the message. When I was always hugging Granny, I didn’t know that I was keeping my covenants, but I felt warm in my heart and felt really good. I know that it was the Holy Ghost in my heart.”
I also felt warm in my heart when I realized that Porter had connected keeping his covenants with the promise to “always have his Spirit to be with [us]”—a promise made possible by receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost.

 So, even if my little way of serving seems so, so little, if I feel the Spirit, it is enough?  Just keep serving?  Oh Lord, but it seems so heavy, I cried!  There are so many places where I see failure on my part...inability to do enough. Then I continued reading:

We’re all at different places on the path. But we can work together to help each other “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.”

As I read this, my mind was opened to the many ways others around me, each on their different stages on the path, have helped me to press forward: the mom from my boys group who brought over dinner on Monday, the wonderfully patient people who were only supportive and not upset over the fiasco with the keys, the wonderfully mindful parent who took responsible action to bring to light the problem situation at the church, the parents who step in, lovingly and quietly, to not only support me and mentor my children, but who serve and serve and serve as well.  Each one helps me!  Each one honors their covenants by reaching out where they are at, bless their hearts!  You never know when your "small" love makes all the difference to another.

So now, I just want to express thanks to all those who honor their covenants by serving me and my family, each in their own way, on their different places on the path.  You never know how you will be blessing others, and I guess I can keep trying to do it, both with my children and others...all with a dirty house :).

A visual of "The World's Spectrum" of politics

Cool visualization! I have learned a great deal about these different systems and trends in history and feel this is very accurate...from what I know now, at least. I would be happy to hear anyone else's view point on the matter.

Speaking of republics, one of my brilliant youth friends posted the following quote:

"The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money." - Alexis de Tocqueville

Faith and Healing

In the two most recent LDS General Conferences, Elder Holland of the LDS church gave two addresses that, I feel, go hand in hand :

Like a Broken Vessel addressing the challenges of depression and mental illness

and Lord, I Believe in which he shares so many beautiful thoughts about faith. 

I just listened to them back to back this morning and was touched by the need for faith when faced with situations like the one in the first talk, where the man had a son that was diseased, or the one in the second talk, where we have family members that suffer from different mental illnesses.  His words on "faith" were inspiring:

I would say to all who wish for more faith, remember this man (the father of the son stricken with illness)! In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited. In the growth we all have to experience in mortality, the spiritual equivalent of this boy’s affliction or this parent’s desperation is going to come to all of us. When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes... The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue—it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know...

When problems come and questions arise, do not start your quest for faith by saying how much you do not have, leading as it were with your “unbelief.” That is like trying to stuff a turkey through the beak! Let me be clear on this point: I am not asking you to pretend to faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have. Sometimes we act as if an honest declaration of doubt is a higher manifestation of moral courage than is an honest declaration of faith. It is not!...

Hope on. Journey on. Honestly acknowledge your questions and your concerns, but first and forever fan the flame of your faith, because all things are possible to them that believe.

His "follow-up" thought in the second conference really struck me in light of the previous quotes:

Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.⁵

 As I reflected on my own seemingly minor issues with loved ones, both in my home and outside of it, I thought about how all of us grieve with unresolved situations and all of us could do with a little more faith...at least I could :).  I loved the message of hope: do what you can with what you have, and then be still.  "Hope on.  Journey on." Right?

Economics and our responsibility

"We the people are the rightful masters of both  Congress and the Courts,
not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow  the men who would pervert the Constitution." 

 

~ Abraham  Lincoln

 

 

We recently had a class for our youth in Economics.  It was amazing.  I highly recommend the reading:

 

Read One For the Money, sections 4 and 5

Read the book Whatever Happened to Penny Candy?

 

Read The Richest Man in Babylon online

Read Economics in One Lesson online (this one is amazing!)

 

I think these are must reads for everyone!

 

"If"

I think this poem is going to take its place in my heart next to the saying that is reputed to be one of Mother Theresa's favorite on the side of my blog.

"If" by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Be careful what you laugh at, eh? :)

...especially when it is other people's faith. I hope we would show the same respect to people of all faiths.

This was shared by a dear friend:

"November 18

Dear Family and Friends:

We recently heard two very interesting testimonies, one that I thought I would share with you.  Brother Cook, a member visiting Hungary from the US shared the following story.

 

Brother Cook told the story of his conversion.  As a young university student in California, as part of his general requirements, he took a US history class.  As part of the class, the professor — Brother Cook stressed he never knew if this professor was LDS or not— briefly talked about Brigham Young and the role of the Mormons in settling the west (they were essentially the only group of immigrants that systematically arranged for each successive group of immigrants to have better conditions to travel across the continent as they built bridges, planted crops that others would harvest, and improved the trail as each group passed over it). 

The professor also discussed in this same lecture the fact that the Mormons were the first uniquely US religion coming out of the early 1800’s.  He also told how the Mormons believed that Joseph Smith read James 1:5 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” and from that information Joseph Smith went into the forest and prayed and had a vision where God and Jesus Christ appeared to him.  Brother Cook said at that point in the lecture, there began to be out breaks of snickering in the large lecture hall.  Brother Cook then said the professor simply waited for a moment and then said something like, “If you think that is funny, let me tell you another story.  2,000 years ago there was a man who lived on Earth and who said he was Jesus Christ. People laughed at him too.”  That was all the professor said and then he moved on with his lecture.  

Brother Cook said that statement made by his professor caused him wonder if he would have also laughed at Jesus Christ, rather than recognizing him.  It began a 4 year search and study for Brother Cook, about the Mormons. His search resulted in his conversion, baptism, and a life filled with service including serving as a bishop, stake president, and many other ways.  

I hope we all recognize Christ and his influence in our life today.  I am so grateful for my testimony and for the opportunity to serve here in Hungary — even with the hard stuff!  (I know when we return to heaven we will be grateful to have come to Earth and there is hard stuff here on Earth too!)

Have a wonderful week as you contemplate your blessings during this upcoming time of Thanksgiving. 

Love,

Jan and Bob/ Elder and Sister Wiggins"

 

You never know when taking a stand may plant a seed...

From whence? ...and "what is my pennyworth?"

For the past several times of going to read my scriptures, I find my place in John 6 and cannot get past the first section of that chapter:

 3 And Jesus went up into a mountain, and there he sat with his disciples.

 4 And the ^apassover, a feast of the Jews, was nigh.

 5 ¶When Jesus then lifted up his eyes, and saw a great company come unto him, he saith unto Philip, Whence shall we buy bread, that these may eat?

So many times, I feel, "from whence will come the resources I need to do what God would have me do...or even do the dishes?"

 

 6 And this he said to prove him: for he himself knew what he would do.

But how many times does he ask us this, just to prove us and our faith?

 

 7 Philip answered him, Two hundred pennyworth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may take a little.

I certainly look at my resources, my imperfections, etc. and see that "my pennyworth is not sufficient for them, that every one that seems to need me, not the least of which is my children and dear husband, may take a very, very little.

 

 8 One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, saith unto him,

 9 There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many?

We have those around us that have resources, but what they have to offer, to join with our faith, may also seem so little.

 

 10 And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about ^afive thousand.

Act in faith.  Stop, stand still.  He knows what He is doing.

 

 11 And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given ^athanks, ...

Give thanks for what God has given us: like it says in Alma 37:37, let us rise in the morning with our hearts full of thanks...not at the end of the day, but at the beginning, before we set out at our work ahead of us...

... he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down; and likewise of the fishes as much as they would.

Not only feeding the immediate urgency of their hunger, but "as much as they would"!

 

 12 When they were filled, he said unto his disciples, Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be ^alost.

And there was food to spare...far more than what was there originally.

I need to learn this lesson. I need to act in faith.  I need to not get discouraged.  I need to not listen to the voices of doubt in my mind, those voice that ask those same questions, "From whence?"  "What can your pennyworth possibly do?"

I have the great example of my parents on their mission.  They came to a branch that was so small and they both felt the weight of the immense work ahead of them.  As they have moved forward in love and faith, you can see the miracles multiplying exponentially around them, as the branch in Ravensburg grows and thrives.  They are instruments, welcoming and ushering in the miracles of God through their own loaves and fishes.  

Why is it I can see it so freely in the lives of others, but not in my own?  Why can I not see that with the people I work with, whose abilities may be child-like and seem as limited as my own, ...that, together, as we have faith, miracles will happen?

Faith, Mary,...faith.

"Where politics and positive thinking collide" or "Lessons from the Tide"

I loved this excellent article my excellent daughter forwarded to me:
"http://www.positivethinkingtips.org/lesson-from-the-tide/?inf_contact_key=51bc403fc552ed82978f8dde71b292e35c88e07b8f28112037993fe94db5b01b

I just read this, and agree (almost) completely!
She talks about the Proper Role of Government, and doesn't just leave it at that: she talks about us as people, who should be DOING SOMETHING to defend our freedom.
(That reminds me of an article my mom once posted: http://www.thesocialleader.com/2013/08/americans-smacked/

)

I hope you guys enjoy it!
Love,
Avot 

ps, Sorry if you get this multiple times :"

Look for His presence

Been feelin' a little stormy and worn out inside. I can see the blessings, but it is like through a haze, sometimes: like my eyes can see all the reasons to be joyful, but my heart still feels...stormy.  Strange sensation. 

This morning, we did something I hope to make weekly (we've done it two weeks in a row...a good start :)...).  For our devotional, we watch one conference talk on Mondays and do our conference "bingo" that we usually do on Conference weekend.  Today I picked one by Thomas S. Monson and it was particularly meaningful to me:

Brothers and sisters, it may be safely assumed that no person has ever lived entirely free of suffering and sorrow, nor has there ever been a period in human history that did not have its full share of turmoil and misery. (Amen.)

When the pathway of life takes a cruel turn, there is the temptation to ask the question “Why me?” At times there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel, no sunrise to end the night’s darkness. We feel encompassed by the disappointment of shattered dreams and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea, “Is there no balm in Gilead?”¹ We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We become impatient for a solution to our problems, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required. (So true.)

The difficulties which come to us present us with the real test of our ability to endure. A fundamental question remains to be answered by each of us: Shall I falter, or shall I finish? Some do falter as they find themselves unable to rise above their challenges. To finish involves enduring to the very end of life itself....

He goes onto say:

Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were—better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before.

This should be our purpose—to persevere and endure, yes, but also to become more spiritually refined as we make our way through sunshine and sorrow. Were it not for challenges to overcome and problems to solve, we would remain much as we are, with little or no progress toward our goal of eternal life. The poet expressed much the same thought in these words:

Good timber does not grow with ease,

The stronger wind, the stronger trees.

The further sky, the greater length.

The more the storm, the more the strength.

By sun and cold, by rain and snow,

In trees and men good timbers grow.⁸

Only the Master knows the depths of our trials, our pain, and our suffering. He alone offers us eternal peace in times of adversity. He alone touches our tortured souls with His comforting words:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”⁹

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, He is with us. He has promised that this will never change.

My brothers and sisters, may we have a commitment to our Heavenly Father that does not ebb and flow with the years or the crises of our lives. We should not need to experience difficulties for us to remember Him, and we should not be driven to humility before giving Him our faith and trust.

May we ever strive to be close to our Heavenly Father. To do so, we must pray to Him and listen to Him every day. We truly need Him every hour, whether they be hours of sunshine or of rain. May His promise ever be our watchword: “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”¹⁰

I guess right now, the trick is to look around and see His presence, right?

This reminds me of Mother Theresa, who also did not see the hand of the Lord, but kept moving forward doing His will.  Yesterday I heard a new favorite quote from her.  Someone pointed out that, despite all her work with the orphans and poor of Calcutta, they were still just as poor.  She said,

"I was not called to succeed.  I was called to be faithful."

 As C.S. Lewis points out, from the devil's perspective, in the Screwtape Letters:

Our cause is never in more danger than when the human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon the universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.                                                                          -Screwtape Letters, CS Lewis

 

Advice that is a keeper...

...hence, I post it :).

"Fourth, showing genuine love is at the heart of personal conversion and family relations. King Benjamin directed, “Beware lest there shall arise contentions among you.”²⁶ Never forget that Satan is the “father of contention”²⁷ and seeks that family members “fight and quarrel.”²⁸ Brethren (or sisters!), if we are emotionally, verbally, or physically abusive to any member of our family, or bully any person, then we lose priesthood power.²⁹ Choose to control anger. Family members should hear blessings from our mouths, not cursings. We are to influence others only by persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, love unfeigned, kindness, and charity

Fifth, obeying the law of tithing is an essential element of faith and family unity. Because Satan uses greed and the pursuit of possessions to sweep families off the celestial highway, Jesus advised, “Beware of covetousness.”³¹ Covetousness is restrained as we project our income, pay an honest tithe and generous fast offering, budget needed expenses, avoid unnecessary debt, save for future needs, and become temporally self-reliant. God’s promise to us is, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you"

"Beware Concerning Yourselves" gen conf. 11/12 Anthony D. Perkins

Darkness and light

Elder Uchtdorf:

There may be some among you who feel darkness encroaching upon you. You may feel burdened by worry, fear, or doubt. To you and to all of us, I repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things. It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn.

The best path for healing was to understand and accept that darkness exists—but not to dwell there.

http://lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/the-hope-of-gods-light.p16?lang=eng

Keep on keepin' on...

The pioneers were resilient.  How can I be resilient?

Keep going when it is hard.
Keep a smile on my face.
Keep on keepin' on.
Keep saying "hi" to those who have hurt me.
Keep sharing the gospel when the doors have been slammed in my face.
Keep cleaning, even when it gets dirty so fast again.
Keep serving, even when it doesn't seem to make a difference.
Keep talking, despite all those times I have put my foot in my mouth.
Keep being with people, even after I have hurt so many.
Keep loving those who have hurt me.
Keep forgiving myself and others.
Keep the love of God with me even when I feel unworthy.
Keep giving even when I feel there is nothing left to give...for it is in those moments that we discover the ever-increasing capacity of our souls.

Repeat, repeat, repeat...

Please forgive my repetitive posting, but this obviously something I need to think and deal with, so here is some more...

The Savior is at the well with the woman of Samaria, who is flabbergasted that he, a Jew, would even talk to her. (Diversity...love it!)  He tells her that he can give her living water and she, now puzzled, asks: Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water?

Don't we do the same?

"What? You can help me do all these things you have asked me to do or that I feel I need to do?  What?  You can help me slow down and find peace?  What?  You can heal me?  What tools do you have?"

Ahhhhh...Sometimes the intention and plan of God seems to have no way, even though my mind tells me that He will provide a way to "accomplish the thing which he has commanded [us]." (1 Nephi 3:7).


Sometimes, I need to act on that tiny twig of belief and faith, doing as it says in that favorite scripture of mine:

 17 Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us ^acheerfully ^bdo all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the ^csalvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed. (D&C 123)

Cheerfully, eh?  Stand still, eh?

I also love the verses previous to this one:

13 Therefore, that we should waste and ^awear out our lives in bringing to light all the ^bhidden things of darkness, ...

 14 These should then be attended to with great ^aearnestness.

 15 Let no man count them as small things; ...

 16 You know, brethren, that a very large ship is ^abenefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves.

Boy, I feel like the small helm!  But wait!  Ah-hah!  Maybe that small helm is how the power of God seems to us amidst the storm?  Or, maybe, we are that helm and we need to decide which captain is steering us through the storm?

Hmmm....

Taking it back to God

I have really been trying to figure out how to simplify and live by the Spirit, and it is such a challenge!  It seems, at times, that those are two opposing things!  For instance, I feel that the Spirit directs that I should keep working on plays, homeschooling all these kids, aspire to still give them piano lessons, spend quality time with my husband, love the kids (and all their different love language needs?!), do Vanguard, be a responsible visiting teacher and friend, socialize and open up my home's spirit to others, (because there are so many times that I really, really, really want to just crawl into a hole with my dear family and never come out :)!), follow promptings for missionary work, etc., etc., etc.

And, yet, if I am truly living by the spirit, I should be able to do all these things the Lord's way and in a do-able way.  I think sometimes I get direction and then come up with a non-God-inspired plan to achieve that direction and then start charging forward: for instance, the "love language" concern above, which is an excellent example of this.  The Spirit says, "Mary, you need to be more loving to your children."  Boom!  Into my head pop all these ways that I have been told (not by the spirit necessarily, but by good, amazing and wonderful people and sources) is the right way to do it.  I think it is important to regard and consider these sources, but before I put my regarded and considered course of action into effect, do I take that next and crucial step to see if my reasoning is indeed a way that is His will?

So many times I want Him to just tell me everything: do this this way, do that that way.  Lately, I have felt a lot more of Him saying, "Yes, this is area you need to change and this is what you need to direct your energies to (missionary work, plays for kids, homeschooling, loving your children, sustaining and loving your husband), but I want you to think through what a good plan of action would be."  I have taken that withouth listening to the crucial follow-up step that is in the Doctrine and Covenants 9:7-9:

 7 Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

 8 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must ^astudy it out in your ^bmind; then you must ^cask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your ^dbosom shall ^eburn within you; therefore, you shall ^ffeel that it is right.

 9 But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a ^astupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write (or do) that which is ^bsacred save it be given you from me.

I need to not only use my gifts of reason and experience and education to come up with a plan of action, but then I need to go back to God to check and see if I need to tweak it or throw it out.  Just because something pops into my head, doesn't mean that it is a good way to accomplish what God has asked me to do.  Sometimes, a little bit goes a long ways, and sometimes He sustains many on a little cruise of oil. like with the widow of Nain.  Sometimes the answer is a little unorthodox or unconventional, like when the prophet told Naaman to go and wash himself in the Jordan river 7 times.  Sometimes the answer is for the prophet himself to do the work, but more often than not, it is the prophet that gives direction.  And always, always the widow's mite is enough.

I know, know, know that the Lord gives, with every commandment, a way to accomplish it.  He doesn't ask us to do the impossible, for with Him, nothing is impossible.  But I believe He wants us to, after receiving direction or even just perceiving a need, to reason it out sometimes for ourselves as we prepare to be more like Him, right?  You know, like holding the child's hands as they learn to walk and then sometimes letting go and letting them fall a little, as they learn their own strength.  However, this is a new reminder to me, as I ponder this this morning...to go back after reasoning and counsel with Him again.

I know He can make my cruse of oil, my cracket pot, my meager efforts enough.  I have seen the miracle of that in my life in so many ways that defy description.  It may look a little "unconventional" at times (my currently dirty house, my insane upcoming schedule for the weekend, moving to and from Hungary are a few examples of that).  However, I think that part of the problem behind the first two, is that I am trying to answer God's call in a way that I reasoned out, without checking back with Him.

Positive Perseverence

Today for devotional, we watched the new, beautiful video from lds.org about the attributes of Christ:

https://www.lds.org/youth/video/christlike-attributes?cid=HPFR102513149&lang=eng

How do we attain these attributes?  Through persistence, through perseverence, through humility...through experience.

It reminded me of one of my favorite "values.com" videos:

The Wall

How do I teach this to my children?  I know I model it :). I am stubborn to a fault, so I can do that, but to show how to persevere with joy, endure to the end with optimism, that is my challenge.  I am not sure that they want to become like me at the times when I am gritting my teeth and literally enduring. :)  It is not a very pretty picture.

It reminds me of the time my sister-in-law Niesha R. told me that she was working on her attitude in going to church on Sunday.  She said something that stuck with me, "Why would my kids want to go somewhere where I am angrily frantic in the process of going there, miserable in enduring, and visibly exhausted and frustrated at the end?"  She talked about getting ready with cheerfulness, attending with hope, and coming home focusing on the good that happened...or something like that :).

Anyway...since then, it has made me think about the power of my example of not only enduring, but enduring well.   Enduring with a smile :).