The Charging Block..

 Here's my set-up:

I like to get up early, so my desk in my room (which is a beautiful set-up) isn't really an option unless Quinn is up.  I'm learning those little things that bring peace in my journey and they are as unique and individually tailored as this set-up.  And as transitory.

I'm learning so much even in this too.

1) My health is important--hence the heightened platform for my computer so I can stand more often.

2) The charging block for my computer--next to which is the most easily damaged part of the essential recharging cord--needs to be supported and looked out for directly.  I am like that charging cord--receiving and passing forward power and direction--and my needs to be directly looked after.

3) Following little nudges like this can make a difference in the long-term that I don't foresee now.

This was reinforced yesterday. I wanted to make taco soup to use up the tomato soup and chicken broth that I had in the fridge (I hate waste).  It didn't make sense to just make one batch, so I asked the willing to learn Lily to make a double batch.  This double batch didn't really make sense because I have a fridge full of other leftovers ready to spoil. I reasoned that I could freeze and use the extras for my kiddos when I am gone.

I had Quinn divide it in half to only bring half to the lake with us that night when he met up with us.

Fast forward: end of rehearsal I reach out to a friend that we were going to the lake--almost like I couldn't stop myself. (We have had several days of rehearsals and I still have the unhealthy instinct to not "over-invite" people to things lest I overwhelm them. My therapist would call that taking charge of other people's happiness and decisions.)

She showed up!

I wanted to invite her to join us for dinner, but realized that I hadn't asked Quinn to bring all of the dinner, but I invited her anyway and we all had a little bit. She thanked me.

----

But I missed out.  She could see that we didn't have very much. She was so kind and responded to my multiple invitations, assuring her we had enough, which technically we did. But I had a pot full of extra soup at home, which in the long run begged so many lessons.

Lessons not of guilt (she was already planning on taking care of her family's own dinner and wasn't suffering because I didn't) but of missed opportunity and thereby learning:

-try not to overthink things, lol!

-by bringing my abundance with me, I might have enjoyed being able to serve dinner to a woman--a sweet new friend-- who was in the middle of a broken washing machine dilemma and had to go home now and gather her laundry and head to the laundromat!  Wouldn't that have been cool!

So here I am, the morning after...learning.  Not beating myself up. Learning.

What did that interaction feel like yesterday morning?  The interaction when it was probably God nudging me to make that illogical extra?  What made me start analyzing the why?

You see, I've had some people ask about or comment about my take on what I call following the Spirit--so many choices where I've just moved forward in a seemingly illogical direection and seen some cool miracles.  This is how I learn==by looking back at times where it might have been the Spirit and learning.

Not feeling guilty (can I say this enough?) because other people's happiness does NOT hinge upon me or my abilities.  But it does feel super cool to be part of something that brings a little more joy or eases someone's burden a little and I find that learning to recognize these interactions for what they are "mini-lesssons" I'm learning to pay attention more.  Kind of like a melody I recognize, or a feeling...like the groan one in too many romance movies where the main characters make stupid, out of character decisions to develop the plot or the sweet feeling of redemption at the end when all is restored--and one of the main reasons we watch it ;). 

Here's me, owning it! I like this.

Zen Visualizing Courtesy of Liesl

 Liesl is my seven year old. And she has SO much anxiety at times. One thing that helps her is routine. 

Part of that routine is reading scriptures at night and one night i was feeling particularly tired so I defaulted to one of my favorite scriptures: Psalm 23. 

Another part of her routine is listening to Spotify so this song was playing while I read it.  

I invited her to close her eyes and visualize while I read the following to her. 

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

I felt so at peace.  Liesl said that she could picture herself as a lamb that Jesus loved and that He was taking care of. 

It is amazing how God can give us peace "in the presence of our enemies," whether those 'enemies' are circumstances, others or even ourselves and our own inner demons. 

I just wanted to share that moment of peace 🕊💛.

Crossing the Wilderness...on a Motorcycle... in the Rain??

I've been considering my role in the community and it's impact on my health and the wellness of my family.  These are big questions that I am almost constantly weighing: is the possible good I am doing in the community worth any negative impact it could be having on my family?  This last week I went to one of my favorite "ship building" chapters in the  Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 17, and got stuck in the first three verses, when they went "into the wilderness"--this crazy desolate place--ate raw meat and their families not only survived but thrived, prospered and were content and "bore without murmurings" in the face of the logical result that they would just suffer and be miserable. "Your family is also protected, my daughter" I have felt.

We face so much of sin and hardship and unmet expectationsi in this life as a result of our own choices and that of others.  But as mentioned in the talk from last General Conference, "Mortality works!"  God's work and glory includes a great deal of pain and suffering for those very reasons. I was re-listening to that talk by Brad Wilcox about "His Grace is Sufficient"* on youtube the other day and he brought up that he doesn't think it will be the unrepentant sinner begging to be in heaven.  No, it will be Christ begging them to stay.  We obey the commandments not to earn heaven but to learn heaven, so that we will be comfortable there.  And that means turning the other cheek, loving as Christ did, forgiving as He did, trying again and again to live like He lives.  And His life was HARD. I can see many of us going up to heaven, realizing how much pain is involved in God's plan of mortality and how that is really a part of it and refusing to accept that.  But Eve--and Adam--did.  There is truly no other way. All these thoughts have culminated this week, leaving me a little breathless.

Regardless of whether I'm building the boat or crossing the wilderness, God is truly with me every step of the way. I realized this on Saturday in a very profound way:

My husband loves to ride his motorcycle. He loves to take people on rides on it, too. For the first maybe year or two of him having it, though, I was not going to go near it. However, over time I saw it as a potential "thing to do together" and braved my first ride. It was short. It was slow. It was terrifying. It was terrible. I kept trying to peer around him to see the road ahead to anticipate the bumps. I knew we were going to crash as we turned corners and tried to compensate by leaning the other way on the motorcycle...it just wasn't pretty.

But, I got up on it again and we went farther. And farther. I remember the first time we went on the actual freeway, Quinn must have felt that we were going at a snail's pace, but I was sure that I was facing death at every corner, especially at every corner. I remember distinctly employing my "birthing breathing techniques" as we went around a round-about and leaned into it. What???? And I was supposed to just lean into the quickly flying by asphalt?? Into my death?? I did so much "mental distancing" and "visualization" that trip!

Yet over time, I have gone again and again and gradually, I have been able to look up at the beauty around me and soak some in.

Last Saturday, Quinn and I opted to take the motorcycle to play football, meeting up with family and friends at the park. And en route, it started to rain. Red flags went up as I pulled myself from the happy realization that I had been calm for the whole ride to that point to the sudden awareness that my children would never see me alive again. Holding my arms around Quinn's waist, I looked at my options. I could panic--possibly increasing our chance of crash--or I could calmly choose to embrace death, knowing that either way, my fate was in Quinn's hands.

I chose calm.

After the cloudburst passed (Quinn muttering something about the inaccuracy of weather predictions), and we resumed our normal speed, I felt impressed that that experience was like me trusting God. It hasn't been my first preference, honestly, most of the time....to do what He actually wants of me, not "to do what He wants" theoretically. You see, where the rubber meets the road is a perfect analogy for my experience in the challenge of doing what God wants of me. Often it is terrifying. Often it is a blind experience, like sitting behind Quinn and not trying to look ahead. However, it is in those moments where I am invited to a different way, a higher way (although I'm not advocating motorcycling as a higher way, lol!). I am invited to "go on a ride" with God and so many aspects of this analogy really, really fit.

Cloudbursts and all.

*Brad Wilcox's talk:

My take on his talk:

Finding Symbolism in Airport Alarms

 Okay, if there's a perfect time ot be at the airport, I have to say, my favorite it in the week hours of the morning.  Well, only if you have a long layover.  So much seating available.  I can lay on the freshly cleaned floors with much less hesitation than usual. (Yes, I do sometimes because when you're tired... and honestly, will you ever see these people again?)

Yes, that's me.  With my eyes closed. I decided to keep it real and keep my first attempt at this selfie; besides, it's an adequate reflection of the time of day, right?

Well, something that happens at 1:30 am in an airport is the testing of an alarm system.  (Not so great for sleeping but I'm in a three hour lag, so 2 am in Vegas is about my normal wake up time in Ohio. Yes, Vegas!  The picture is a giveaway, right?  Too bad I don't care to gamble, although from what I overheard of the "success" stories of fellow travelers, it would be wise to not try, surprise surprise.  But I digress.) Back to the alarms...

So, right before the alarms came on, there was a loud announcement that basically let us know that the alarms were going to be tested, so to no panic.  Then, for the next 30 minutes (or so) they tested various sound and light alarms.  Good thing I was already awake!  Immediately after the first ones went off, I thought, that's super smart!  So many things can go wrong and you want to be sure everything is in place if that emergency should arise.

That was followed immedately by the thought, much like the voice of the prophets and apostles in our day.  This was fresh on my mind because I was listening to a General Conference talk at the time from President Nelson "Make Time For The Lord" from 2021. I had also just started reading the Doctrince and Covenants, honestly not my go-to book of scriptures. I had just prayed a week ago for God to show my why we study this book, to gain a testimony of it.  As I read the first section, I was immediately struck with several truths that not only applied ot some situations I had been seeking counsel from heaven about, but also the phrase the Lord uses, "to raise a voice of warning in the last days" as calamities and chaos foretold for millenia unfold.  So I'm reading.  And watching for those signs and warnings.

It probably was a natural jump for me to make a connection, then, this morning when the alarms were being tested, against the day of calamity. The airport administrators want everything up and running and in place against the day of emergency.  God wants our lives "up and running" to prepare personally against the impending events that signal the coming of our Lord.

The alamrs were repetitious, perhaps even obnocious.   I admit my heart is not always eager to accept and implement the warnings that seem ofttimes repetitious from the pulpit of those called of God to give us His word.  Here's a sample from the talk I was listening to you and see if any of it might be a familiar refrain...a drill as it were:

"My brothers and sisters, I plead with you to make time for the Lord! Make your own spiritual foundation firm and able to stand the test of time by doing those things that allow the Holy Ghost to be with you always.

Never underestimate the profound truth that “the Spirit speaketh … of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be.”¹ “It will show unto you all things what ye should do.”²

Nothing invites the Spirit more than fixing your focus on Jesus Christ. Talk of Christ, rejoice in Christ, feast upon the words of Christ, and press forward with steadfastness in Christ.³ Make your Sabbath a delight as you worship Him, partake of the sacrament, and keep His day holy.⁴

As I emphasized this morning, please make time for the Lord in His holy house. Nothing will strengthen your spiritual foundation like temple service and temple worship." (Nelson, October 2021)

 So even if those voices of warning may come when we'd rather be sleeping (literally or metaphorically), and even if they seem annoyingly repetitious, maybe it's because that's just what we need to be ready to know just what to do when that day comes...and every day in between.

The alarms were of relatively short duration and I could do other things while being mindful of them. I probably exaggerated when I said thirty minutes. It was probably ten.  Ten minutes. Is it worth those ten minutes, naturally incorporated, to be ready?

Ironically, the topic of the talk and the one that led me to it, "Seek Him With All Your Heart" by Bishop Budge 2024 both emphasized setting intentional, dedicated time to be with God, just as Jesus did during His earthly ministry. If the perfect Savior of the world needed that time, it's something to consider.  (Budge gives great ideas of how to make this time naturally and attainably incorporated into our schedule.)

Just thought I'd share! I'd love to hear ways that you find or make time to be still, to meditate, to take time to be with the Lord and experiences you've had when you've been successful...or not! 

P.S. I have plenty of the latter!  This line stood out from Budge's talk and I'm totally guilty of this! 

The Lord knew—in this fast-paced world full of distractions and in commotion—that making quality time for Him would be one of the major challenges of our day. Speaking through the prophet Isaiah, He provided these words of counsel and caution, which can be likened unto the tumultuous days in which we live:

“In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.

“But ye said, No; for we will flee upon horses; therefore shall ye flee: and, We will ride upon the swift; therefore shall they that pursue you be swift.” 

In other words, even though our salvation depends on returning to Him often and resting from the cares of the world, we do not. And even though our confidence will come from a strength developed in quiet times sitting with the Lord in meditation and reflection, we do not. Why not? Because we say, “No, we are busy with other things”—fleeing upon our horses, so to speak. Therefore, we will get further and further away from God; we will insist on going faster and faster; and the faster we go, the swifter Satan will follow in pursuit.

Yikes!  Sometimes less is more.  I hear it a lot. Harder to apply for sure! It's one thing to know a thing and another to do it.  Good thing we have these regular "drills."