"Why me?"

I have often thought, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” or “Why me?” This morning it dawned on me: that is the plan that we chose! Satan's plan is a life of ease and predictability, one of no “hitches” with a safe re-entry into heaven...exactly as we left it. We wanted to be tested, just as Kel does in his schooling :) (which I at first thought was a little crazy!) , wanted to be proven, to grow, to experience...and how can we do that if nothing ever goes wrong? Not only does God need to allow the consequences of the bad choices of our fellow man to take effect, to hold them accountable and hopefully teach them, but we need those experiences to prove ourselves, learn and grow...to feel the difference between the bitter and the sweet. We wanted that choice, with all the accountability that goes with it :). He could stop every bad thing from happening to every person if he wanted to, but that is not the plan we signed up for.
Of course that doesn't make it any easier...it doesn't make me say, "Bring it on!" but it reassures me of the love of God even in hard times...that while He may not take away the pain and suffering, I can still feel Him there, loving me and supporting me through my test.

charity never faileth!

I had a thought about charity. A couple weeks ago, in Relief Society, we had a lesson on Charity. In it, it said that in order to become Charitable, we need to learn more about Christ, who is the embodiment of charity. So I committed to read the whole New Testament, as kind of a personal commitment to Heavenly Father, with a prayer that He will help me become more charitable. It has been amazing how little snippets of the definition of “Charity” found in Moroni 7 (which I also read every day) float through my mind in different situations: “charity seeketh not her own”, “charity is not puffed up”, “charity beareth all things”. When I mentally chose to accept those definitions, it has been amazing the peace I feel.

I was struck this morning by something about charity. In all those definitions that feel so hard to do sometimes, not one of them is under the control of someone else. It doesn't say, “charity will not get hurt”, “charity will not have people say mean things to her”, etc. We each have complete control over whether we will have charity or not! And, charity will never fail! All things must fail, but charity never will! Think of that! Something that will never let us down, never “not work”--whether in parenting, relationships, friendships, callings, etc...it will never fail us.

However, this is daunting, because it can be so hard to have charity. So what a comfort it is that in Moroni, after listing all the things that charity is, outlining the hard path and setting the high standard, there is the verse of comfort: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.” Charity can be a gift that God gives us, who are sometimes so lacking in being able to be charitable! But we have to want it, praying for all the energy of heart.