Technology...

Came across the following interesting quote by D. Todd Christofferson in the last conference of October:

"We cannot afford to...spend our lives in cyberspace (ironically being of the world while not being in the world)"

It made me think of the movie "Surrogate" (I think it was called, with Bruce Willis) and the talk "Things as they really are" by Elder Bednar.

While I can't recommend the movie :), all these have made me think often about the role of technology in my life and how dangerous it can be to live our lives through these "surrogates" or alternate, non-real paths of "happiness." I like what Elder Bednar says in the little clip above of the great good it can be in our lives.   I like the tools he gives us to help us know how to use it for good.

It reminded me of the talk by Elder Scott at the last conference:

You live in a world where technological advances occur at an astounding pace. It is difficult for many of my generation to keep up with the possibilities. Depending on how technology is used, these advances can be a blessing or a deterrent. Technology, when understood and used for righteous purposes, need not be a threat but rather an enhancement to spiritual communication. (Mary: "Case in point: music by Josh Groban :)?")

For example, many of us have a personal electronic device that fits into our pocket. We are seldom without its company; we may refer to it many times a day.,,But, used with discipline, this technology can be a tool of protection from the worst of society.

Who could have imagined not very many years ago that the full standard works and years of general conference messages would fit into your pocket? Just having them in your pocket will not protect you, but studying, pondering, and listening to them during quiet moments of each day will enhance communication through the Spirit.

Be wise in how you embrace technology. Mark important scriptures on your device and refer back to them frequently. If you young people would review a verse of scripture as often as some of you send text messages, you could soon have hundreds of passages of scripture memorized. Those passages would prove to be a powerful source of inspiration and guidance by the Holy Ghost in times of need.

 However, I was touched by the original quote, too, as I considered in my own life...do I allow my time on the computer to negatively escape from the world around me in such a way that my relationships in the world are suffering?  How do I treat those around me as I watch clips sent from friends and family or try to "catch up on emails"?  It's funny how Elder Christofferson put it...how using technology incorrectly can actually form a situation opposite to the mandate of Christ, to be in the world but not of the world.

Hmmmmm....makes me think!  Love it!

My darling Avot...

It's amazing how incredible your kids can become as you learn to step back, encourage them, and then get out of their way :)...

Love Avot's newest post on her "Joyous Praising" blog, "We are Eagles!"

All I can say is, "amen!"

His Tender Soul

I came across this touching phrase while reading yesterday:

"What God requires is the devotion portrayed by Jesus, who was asked to drink a cup so bitter that it amazed even Him." (D. Todd Christofferson, Ensign 2013, pg 41)

 As I thought about this and discussed it with my parents, they had some neat insights.  My mom remembered reading that Jesus Christ felt guilt and remorse for the first time during the Atonement, so that He could suffer all things, ...and how that must have hurt His tender soul.

My dad pointed out that guilt is a real pain, a pain to the soul.  And much like physical pain to the body is a warning to stop doing what we are doing, guilt, too, is a warning to our souls--a warning to stop doing what we are doing.

It truly makes one think, and increases my appreciation for my Elder Brother and all that He has done for me so that He knows just how to succor me in all my pains and all my sorrows.

 

"Blind obedience?"

"We are not obedient because we are blind...

...we are obedient because we can see."

Elder Boyd K. Packer, Ensign May 1983 

 

Adversity from the Perfect Mentor

I had a conversation years ago with Michele Smith, an amazing woman and treasured "voice in my head" :).  We were on our way to a TJEd training, and I was lamenting that I didn't have a mentor.  She turned to me and said something like, "Mary, of course you have a mentor.  God is our ultimate Mentor, and He is the one you should always look to first."  So, through the years, I have turned to Him in my own imperfect way, seeking His guidance, and seeing the fruit of what He is doing with my life.

However, today, my perspective on this mentoring relationship took on new meaning.

This morning in my brief "studies" (the few minutes I took while nursing my baby--sneak it in while I can, right?), I opened up my topic study book to the page of "Adversity."  I read the scripture in Isaiah 30:20 which states:

20 And though the Lord give you the bread of ^aadversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not ^bthy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy ^cteachers:

 Underneath it, I had this note: "The Lord gives us adversity and affliction; we need our eyes to be the teachers in those times."  Funny.  I think I often tell myself that God Himself doesn't afflict us;  He simply allows the agency of man to afflict us.

Hmmm...

As I mulled upon this new thought, I had an ah-ha!  The mentor/student relationship is one where the mentor is where the student wants to go, and the student agrees to submit themselves to what the mentor demands of them...and sometimes, it is hard.  The mentor sees what the student is capable of, sees where they need to go, and, if the student is willing to go the distance, they can have what the mentor has.

I want to be where Heavenly Father is, and that will require some stretching, some pushing. and some changing.  Some hurting.  Sometimes, He may just give me affliction, knowing it is just what I need to grow right then, just like a loving mentor would to their student.

When I discussed this with my mom, she pointed out that she believes that we saw some of the tests we would go through before we came to earth.  My mind took a whole new direction with this thought...If this is true, coming to earth would be much like starting a course with a mentor, who hands out the assignments and outlines the course material.  We think at the beginning, "No problem!  I can work this in."

Then reality hits.  Mid-semester we are struggling...putting in some late nights for those big tests.  We form study groups and study alone.  We get sick, we let other things get in the way of what we know we must do to pass this course, we fail quizes and fall short on assignments...and still the mentor is there, showing the way.

Our Mentor is the perfect mentor.  He will always be there.  He has his office open at all hours and at all times.  He has student aids to help, and outside class sessions to strengthen, sustain, and teach us.  He gives us individualized attention and course work to best suit our needs and abilities...no two course works are the same! (Hey!  Epiphany about how this reinforces how senseless it is for us to "compare" or "compete" our way to "the end...love it!)

And the cool thing about this course?  If we try our best, and turn our hearts in His direction, His Son, our Elder Brother is there for the end of the exams, which is this life, to make up for what we lack.

Bread of adversity...water of affliction...How beautiful that He also uses that imagery for the sanctifying act that renews our covenants to submit to His mentoring and cleanses us anew each Sabbath day!  Adversity, like the sacrament, can be very sanctifying; and both can only be sanctifying if we choose to let them work that change within us.

Bread and Water by Steve Lyon-Bowes

So, to wrap my thoughts up,  why do bad things happen to good people?  Many reasons, I am sure, but sometimes, those good people just need to be better, perhaps.

Thank goodness for those group study session, weekly renewal, and endless office hours...and all available without appointment :).  Most of all, I am so grateful for the Perfect Mentor.

Truth and blogging...

I have always felt that truth is for sharing...And that there is much truth hidden in the imperfection of people's words :).  Maybe that's why I enjoy talking to and listening to people so much!  When there is something that is true, it just resonates, like a bell ringing in my soul.

I have also felt that what truth is found in this blog, what goodness, what inspiration, is not from me :). I am very aware of my imperfections and that they can just get in the way, it seems, more often than not...kind of like when I stand up to bear my testimony in church and end up feeling like I garbled what I wanted to say (which happens almost every time).  Fortunately, both in testimony meeting and in what I write, I feel that the Spirit helps convey what truths I intended  to share in a language and in a perfection that is not mine...but sure feels good to be a part of! :)

My friend, Julie, said it best, when I asked if I could include some of what she shared with me here on my blog:

You are welcome to share away :)...I don't need any credit...any truth I wrote is not my truth anyways :)

Shoulder knots and marriage

A few days after we got here, my mom started getting some sharp pains...in her earlobe!  We couldn't figure it out!  How random.  I tried rubbing her neck, trying to find the sore "origin" spot for the sharp pain in her earlobe, but to no avail

And then, I hit it.  A solid knot of muscle in the middle of her shoulder that was as tight as anything I have ever felt.  But she hadn't felt any pain there at all....

I rubbed and massaged, trying to loosen it, but it had obviously been there for a little while.

It made me think of pains in marriage :).

Sometimes it seems like we have painful stabs of pain in different areas of our relationships with our spouses...and in seemingly "random" places.  It could be something they say out of the blue, or something they do, or even just something they don't do. (Of course, I am speaking from the experiences that I have heard from other people, not my own :).)  Often, I believe our sensitivity to "little things" is from those big hidden knots in our "shoulders"...or in other areas of our marriage relationship that are deeper.

It made me think about how important those little massages, or little acts of love, are in keeping the pains out of the rest of the areas of our marriage, by preventing them or at least easing the pain when problems do arise.

I love the book, "Five Love Languages for..." teens, adults or kids.  (I prefer listening to the one for kids, because then it discusses the love languages in language appropriate for any little listening ears.)  It reminds me of the many ways I can love my spouse and my children.  And while it is nice to know their primary love language, I think a "sprinkling" is a fun way to keep the courting alive.

Physical touch: quick rub of the shoulders, touch of the arm in passing, forehead rub when the pressure is high, holding hands, quick kiss (in front of kids is much more fun)
Service:  Do something you normally don't do!  We all serve our spouse directly and indirectly by providing income for the family, taking care of the kids, cleaning up the house, etc.  It is good to look for something a little extra.
Gifts:  These don't have to be purchased.  To a gift giver, sometimes it is just the time you took to think of them and consider something that will bless them and then give it to them: a card, a flower, a batch of cookies, a quick note.  Even a little something from the store that doesn't cost much is a little pick-me-up that says, "I was thinking of you and love you."
Quality Time:  Go on a walk!  Sit and chat.  Wander to the dishes where your spouse is working and be with them.  Play a quick game.  And, something I learned from Julie and am still not good at :), put down what you are doing when they come in the room and be with them! Novel idea, eh? :)
Words of Affection:  Hey, how ya doin?  What you thinking?  Love you!  You look great!  Thanks for doing that.  Your hair looks nice :).  You look great in that suit!  You make me smile. I appreciate all you do.

Now...to practice it on my own better, and keep those sore spots from forming in our marriage :)!

What God DOES promise us...

I just read an article from last month's Ensign.  It was interesting, in that the person who wrote the article experienced several trying situations, even while acting on faith, that are still not resolved.
Some of the author's final words really struck me:

My business is still rebuilding; my brother is still gone. But what I’ve come to know is that God did not promise me wealth; He promised me peace. God did not promise to take my burdens from me; He promised to make them lighter. God did not promise to keep my brother from being subject to mortality; He promised that we would be family forever.

Amen.

Not "if" but "how" to make a stand...

I recently got on facebook (crazy, I know), and got a link that stunned me.  I checked it out on snopes. com, and, yes the FCC (that regulates public media) is seeking public input for "the next 30 days**"about whether or not it should contine to regulate use of offensive language and nudity on public television.

Snopes article: http://www.snopes.com/politics/sexuality/fccban.asp

Actual statement by FCC: http://transition.fcc.gov/Daily_Releases/Daily_Business/2013/db0401/DA-13-581A1.pdf

Link to site that tells you how to send feedback very easily.
http://action.afa.net/item.aspx?id=2147534194

Here's an excerpt from the FCC (sorry, I didn't take the time to adjust the margins): 

We now seek comment on whether thefullCommission should make changes to its current broadcast indecency policiesor maintain them as theyare.For example, shouldtheCommission treat isolated expletives in a manner consistent with our decision in PacificaFoundation, Inc.,Memorandum Opinion and Order: “If a complaint focuses solely on the use of expletives, we believe that . . . deliberate and repetitive use in a patently offensive manner is a requisite to a finding of indecency.”?Should the Commission instead maintain the approach to isolated expletives set forth in its decision in Complaints Against Various Broadcast Licensees Regarding Their Airing of the“Golden GlobeAwards” Program, Memorandum Opinionand Order,19 FCC Rcd 4975(2004)?As another example,should the Commission treat isolated (non-sexual) nudity the same as or differently than isolated expletives? Commenters are invited to address these issues as well as any otheraspect of the Commission’ssubstantive indecency policies

I got all fired up.  I wanted to write an email saying: 

You have a voice.  The creed of our government is "by the people, for the people."  The government represents us, and here is a very easy way to make a powerful stand.

THE "NEXT 30 DAYS" ENDS ON MAY 8TH!  Even if you don't watch public television, send a message to the government that the voice of the people is strong in support of a return to public virtue, one of the founding principles of liberty in our society according to the Founding Fathers.
With love and concern,Mary Biesinger

Then I started writing a p.s. that said:

p.s.  I respect your right to disagree...use your voice as well.  

...and sensed the hypocrisy of it.

Do I really want to send a message to the government that I expect it to regulate our virtue on TV?  Wouldn't that be like banning books? I mean if we give the government the right to ban literature and words and graphics in other's actions, is that a precursor to them banning religious literature and other items on the "moral battle ground"?  Is it really the government's job to take care of that? 

Now, I am not saying we shouldn't speak out and say we don't like it.  I am not saying we should just let people "do their thing" and look the other way. But what I am saying is: What about good, ol' fashioned boycotting?  Wouldn't that address the problem better?  I feel like we are little kids, running to the government and tattling, instead of taking care of it ourselves.  

What if, instead, we took the time to write the media stations, explaining to them that, because of the lack of decent programming, we no longer support public programming.  What if people actually turned off their TV sets instead?  Or, perhaps we could send in our opinion, but then politely include that we don't feel that it is the FCC's job to regulate those standards, but, rather, our job as an American people to support media and influences that uplifts and sustains.

I tend to be "inflammatory" at times, act first, think later.

I know our religious leaders tell us to "take a stand" in virtue...but does that mean asking the government to regulate it or for us to go to the source and make it non-profitable?

Now, this issue I mentioned above addresses things in the private sector.  I can turn off the TV.  However, advertisements and slogans that are morally offensive I believe should not be in public places.  What about my right to not see offensive things?  

It really hit home that we lose freedoms in the name of security when people lack virtue, for I do want to ensure a public environment that doesn't foster other types of addiction and bondage, such as profane language and pornography.  You know, kind of like keeping public smoking within limits so others don't have to suffer from second-hand smoking?  We just must be careful what powers we give to the "government" (in other words, "our neighbors" or "people who might not agree with us".

I would love to hear other people's opinions in this matter, especially if expressed in a voice "respectful of others human dignity." :)

Official stand of church on an issue regarding same-sex-attraction

I appreciated this video, especially this part:

While we disagree with the Human Rights Campaign on many fundamentals, we also share some common ground. This past week we have all witnessed tragic deaths across the country as a result of bullying or intimidation of gay young men.  We join our voice with others in unreserved condemnation of acts of cruelty or attempts to belittle or mock any group or individual that is different – whether those differences arise from race, religion, mental challenges, social status, sexual orientation or for any other reason.  Such actions simply have no place in our society.

Simple human decency one toward another...novel idea, eh :)?  How wonderful would that be if everyone sought to show this decency in families and all other relationships!

Obviously, some will disagree with us. We hope that any disagreement will be based on a full understanding of our position and not on distortion or selective interpretation. The Church will continue to speak out to ensure its position is accurately understood.

God’s universal fatherhood and love charges each of us with an innate and reverent acknowledgement of our shared human dignity.  We are to love one another. We are to treat each other with respect as brothers and sisters and fellow children of God, no matter how much we may differ from one another.  

Shared human dignity.  Love it!

Do we trust Him enough?

I have been so blessed by the following article from the March 2013 Ensign, titled, "The Enabling Power of the Atonement"!

A few days ago I was, quite frankly, very miffed.  I was at my dad and mom's house, wanting to enjoy them, and my baby just wouldn't go to sleep! I lay down to nurse him, thinking, "maybe I'll sneak a nap in, at least" and then, with his fidgiting and fussing, I couldn't even do that!  Injustice :).  I know, irrational, but that was where I was at.  Feeling abused and picked on, I moodily grabbed the Ensign on the floor, to get my mind off of things and read the following: 

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “I suspect that [we] are much more familiar with the nature of the redeeming power of the Atonement than we are with the enabling power of the Atonement.”¹ He suggested that most of us understand that Christcame to earth to die for us, to pay the price for our sins, to make us clean, to redeem us from our fallen state, and to enable every person to be resurrected from the dead.
But, Elder Bednar said, “I frankly do not think many of us ‘get it’ concerning [the] enabling and strengthening aspect of the Atonement, and I wonder if we mistakenly believe we must make the journey from good to better and become a saint all by ourselves through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline, and with our obviously limited capacities.”²

I thought, how true is this!  Here I am, struggling in my heart between wanting to be a nice mommy and wanting to strengthen family relationships and confronted with my sheer ornery-ness, and do I turn to Him?

Fine, I thought.  I'll take it to Him. (Unfortunately, my attitude was more challenging than faithful, but there you have it!)  I did a silent prayer and said, "I'm pretty grumpy right now, and can't seem to be a nice person on my own.  Can you help me?"

Peace.

Wow.

I put down the article and went on, enjoying the miracle.

This morning, I picked it up again and was stunned by the following:

On the eve of Jesus Christ’s suffering in Gethsemane, He issued this benediction to His disciples: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. … Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). Of this invitation, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “[This] may be one of the Savior’s commandments that is,...

Whoa!  I thought.  "Commandment?"  But if an apostle of the Lord said it was so, it must be so...I read on:

“[This] may be one of the Savior’s commandments that is, even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints, almost universally disobeyed; and yet I wonder whether our resistance to this invitation could be any more grievous to the Lord’s merciful heart.”

And then this last part struck me to the core:

Elder Holland added, “I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when he finds that his people do not feel confident in his care or secure in his hands.”³

Wow.  Do I feel confident and secure in his hands?  Am I wounding His loving heart by not trusting Him enough?  Good food for thought...

Mood swings and glimpses of the divine :)

Last October when we moved here, I remember riding a high of...something.  Everything was great!  Give me an obstacle!  Life is wonderful!

Then I hit grumpy time...and struggled through the muddle.

Discouraged, I thought, "Have I lost faith?  Am I doing something wrong?"  And then my dear friend Karen wrote something about how there is a time right after following a prompting where we ride on a spiritual high, and then there is a time of challenge...or something (I can't find it, but it was awesome!).  Anyway,  I feel this way so often after bearing my testimony about a principle:  it seems that by opening up my mouth about something, then I get a time to be tested to see how much I really believe that principle :).

Yesterday was one of those grumpy times.  I turned to Quinn and exclaimed, "I feel like I must be bi-polar sometimes!  Happy and euphoric one moment, then gloomy and grumpy the next!"  Fortunately, the sunny days outshine the gloomy ones.

I wonder if I went back through my journal and blog posts if I could detect one of those infamous cycles in my mood swings.  I just feel rotten when I feel gloriously sunshiney in the morning about everything and everyone and then turn into Mr. Hyde at night :S...

Nothing like reality to remind us how mortal and imperfect we are :). I guess it is nice that we can catch glimpses of the divine in the midst of mortality, right?  Maybe it is all in how we look at things: is our life full of darkness with occasional bursts of light, or are our lives light with occasional moments of darkness?

I think I'll shoot for the latter, since I heard somewhere that there is power in positive thinking :)...oh yeah!  It was in that book my grandma had on the back of her toilet in her bathroom for years!  Thanks, Norman Vincent Peale. (Maybe that is the best way to get your kids to read something...leave it in the bathroom for years, with nothing else to read during those "quiet moments," and they might "find time" to at least look at it a little :)!)

Created a new label for this blog post: "grumpies."  Maybe I should go back and add this label where appropriate? :)

Let the walls fall down!

Once again, here is some moooooooooooooood music :)...

Yesterday, (again, in a devotional...so cool!) we read about Joshua and the walls of Jericho out of the kid's picture scriptures.  They are told to march around the city once a day, making no noise but one blast from the trumpets, for seven days.  Then, on the seventh day, they march around seven times and then yell with all their gusto.

And the walls fall down.

They must have looked pretty foolish.  I thought about the people in the great and abominable building in Lehi's dream when I pictured the people on the walls of Jericho, mocking and jeering.  It would have been hard!

But they marched. They shouted.  And, again, the walls came down.

I have seen the hand of God miraculously bring down some "walls" in my life through some of the unusual things He has had me do: homeschooling, having lots of kids, TJEd and Leadership Education, starting a demanding, scholar-level youth group with lots of little kids, starting a choir four months before we move out of our house,... moving to Hungary.

I have even seen the "walls come down" in the transition time we had in West Jordan: people we met, things my kids learned about themselves and others, and stronger relationships with family. For instance, the whole experience would have been worth it just for one precious conversation with Shara over cleaning towards the end of our stay in West Jordan!  And that is just one of the miracles of family that we experienced!

Now in Hungary, the blessings continue to unfold, the greatest ones being what we have seen in our children...miracles in how they think about themselves, others, Heavenly Father and the Gospel.  It has been amazing!

You know, I have often wondered what in the world would entice John the Beloved and the three Nephites to stay on the earth and keep doing the work of God rather than go straight-away to heaven on their deaths.  It seemed noble, but I couldn't understand that being the deepest desire of their hearts.
  
Yet, as I feel the euphoria that comes with seeing God use my family to work miracles in our lives and in the lives of others, in all our imperfections...I get a glimpse.  As hard as it is at times, the wave of positive awesomeness that follows seeing walls come down is truly incredible!

Maybe that is what John and the Nephites stayed for...to watch and participate, first hand, in the walls coming down as the work of God goes forward?  To be one of the ones who felt their feet hurt as they walk silently around, to be one of the ones that felt the surge of passion as they bellowed at the top of their lungs, to be one of the ones who feels the ground rumble and the dust swirling around as the miracle happens!

I know these miracles happen in our lives...that these walls fall down.  They happen every time we follow a prompting, no matter how crazy it seems.  It can be calling that person, writing that letter, saying "hi," sitting down and snuggling instead of cleaning the dishes...promptings very often don't make sense and why should they?

Isaiah 55:8-9:

 8 ¶For my ^athoughts are not ^byour thoughts, neither are your ^cways my ^dways, saith the Lord.

 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ^aways ^bhigher than your ways, and my ^cthoughts than your thoughts.

Need some walls to come crashing down in your life?  Follow the promptings--no matter how crazy they may seem!  no matter how people may mock!--and you will witness miracles!

Do good where you are...

Sometimes it is easy to feel that our situations have the best of us...that there is no possible way we could reach out and do good.

This morning, as I reflected on this, my mind went to the situation of Betsie and Corrie Ten Boom in the concentration camp, surrounded by starving, filthy, lice-ridden women, and all huddled around Betsie's little Bible, reading the word of God.


Talk about doing what good you can, where you are at!

No more excuses, Mary :).  Bloom where you are planted!

Freedom without virtue? Impossible.

There are some things worth getting mad about...

Freedom is one of those. Or at least, the lack thereof. 

Movies like "Amazing Grace" and books like "Les Miserable" stir something deep within me as I see people battling for the cause of freedom.  It is one of the things I am born to do: champion the cause of Liberty and learn the language of Freedom, as I call it.

My definition of "the language of Freedom"? To be able to articulate, persuade, and reason in behalf of the cause of liberty and freedom.  Very few things are more important to me than that; in fact, God and family are the only ones.

In order to learn how to this, I felt inspired to turn to something called "Leadership Education." According to Oliver DeMille, in his powerful lecture last year titled "7 Keys and 4 Phases,"  the key ingredients in a leadership education is the study of classics and the study of history.  

When I heard him say that last year, I though, "Great!  That's what we are doing in our homeschool!" 
 For the past few years, we have been working our way through an incredible historical series by Susan Wise Bauer:


These books have everything in them...all from sources as original as you can get!  You read all sorts of crazy things about kings and messengers, generals and slaves, sometimes in their very words :).  Her writing style is incredible, with stories that are written as they were lived...as an adventure and about real people!

And, in studying this history, I can see how important it is to know our history so that we may learn from it!

In all the cultures and time periods I have studied so far, government cannot be good government without virtue of the people!  Time and again, a virtuous person will come to power, do good on his or her "watch" in power, and then the society will topple and be overthrown by the corruption and deviousness of the next individual or group in power.  Time and again.  You get people in power who are trying to use the power of the government to do good things and find that they have to fight continuously against the corruption of people around them!  One poor chap in China tried to abdicate three times and retire to a monastery just so he could get away from it all...but he was too good and the people would not let him go!

So, going back to my original passion about freedom, I want to talk about that a little bit more. Want to really get my dander up? (Listen carefully, Daddy Clyde :)...here's what you've always wanted: the key to making me ready to fight!)  

Tell me the government has "told" me yet another way to run my life.  

Do you know who "the government" is?  My neighbor.  It is no all-powerful, all-knowing entity of accumulated knowledge.  It is the body that we have given the power to create laws on behalf of all of us to maintain our freedom, by securing some rights.

And do you know something else?  We lose freedom when people worry about personal "rights" that they want "secured" out of fear of the lack of virtue in others.

Let's look at that word: Virtue.  To me, part of that word "virtue" is the quality in a person that drives them to take responsibility for themselves and those in their stewardship in a way that respects the rights and responsibilities of others...all with a sense of accountability to some higher good.

Here is another way to look at it :):



Look familiar :)? We can also look at Cicero's summary of what he calls "natural law."  What is natural law? First of all, Cicero defines Natural Law as "true law." Then he says:

"True law is right reason in agreement with nature; it is of universal application, unchanging and everlasting; it summons to duty by its commands, and averts from wrongdoing by its prohibitions.... It is a sin to try to alter this law, nor is it allowable to repeal any part of it, and it is impossible to abolish entirely. We cannot be freed from its obligations by senate or people, and we need not look outside ourselves for an expounder or interpreter of it. And there will not be different laws at Rome and Athens, or different laws now and in the future, but one eternal and unchangeable law will be valid for all nations and all times, and there will be one master and ruler, that is God, over us all, for he is the author of this law, its promulgator, and its enforcing judge. Whoever is disobedient is fleeing from himself and denying his human nature, and by reason of this very fact he will suffer the worst punishment." (The Five thousand Year Leap, p. 40)

Just think.  If everyone observed these simple maxims, found in the 10 commandments and their consciences, and echoed in Cicero's "Natural Law," would we need government?  No.  Of course not, other than perhaps as some minor local tax collector who would gather funds to build roads or as some judge between minor cases of misunderstandings.  People would do what is good and right and fair, without anyone trying to force them to do it, and without anyone trying to get out of it :).

So, going back to what I have read in history and in my study of governments and society, there is no possible form of government where people can be free to obtain and use their money and resources to support their lives and families without virtue of the people. None. There is no such thing as a government powerful enough to force people to do good, without giving it the power to force them to do evil.

Historic and modern events support the common idiom:

Absolute power corrupts...absolutely.

The Founding Fathers of the United States of America knew this from their own study of history, thus creating our Constitution with important limitations and safeguards.  However, even they knew that only with virtue of the people would we be able to reap the benefits of their work, and use the Constitution for the intent for which it was created.

We must echo Elaine Dalton's call for a "return to virtue" as we look at society.  As people look to their hearts and their God, in whatever form they worship Him, they will know what they must do, and what that answer is for themselves.

Ahhhh.  But how to encourage people to do that, to choose to sacrifice and be virtuous over the pursuit of selfishness?  How do we encourage people to not be dishonest, to not take advantage of one's neighbor, to honestly look at what they have and what they need and use the excess to reach out and help others?  

That remains the question to be answered before we can answer the question how to maintain a government that perserves our freedom.

It must begin, one person at a time, and it must begin today...with you and with me.d

Obviously, I have a long way to go in my effort to learn how to make my passion for freedom articulate and clear :).  I will trust in God and keep doing what I can, one day at a time. 

**************************
Excerpt from "The Divinely Inspired Constitution"

U.S. citizens have an inspired Constitution, and therefore, what? Does the belief that the U.S. Constitution is divinely inspired affect citizens’ behavior toward law and government? It should and it does.

U.S. citizens should follow the First Presidency’s counsel to study the Constitution. ¹⁷ They should be familiar with its great fundamentals: the separation of powers, the individual guarantees in the Bill of Rights, the structure of federalism, the sovereignty of the people, and the principles of the rule of the law. They should oppose any infringement of these inspired fundamentals.

They should be law-abiding citizens, supportive of national, state, and local governments. The twelfth Article of Faith declares:

“We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.”

The Church’s official declaration of belief states:

“We believe that governments were instituted of God for the benefit of man; and that he holds men accountable for their acts in relation to them. …

“We believe that all men are bound to sustain and uphold the respective governments in which they reside.” (D&C 134:1, 5.)

Those who enjoy the blessings of liberty under a divinely inspired constitution should promote morality, and they should practice what the Founding Fathers called “civic virtue.” In his address on the U.S. Constitution, President Ezra Taft Benson quoted this important observation by John Adams, the second president of the United States:

“Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” ¹⁸

Similarly, James Madison, who is known as the “Father of the Constitution,” stated his assumption that there had to be “sufficient virtue among men for self-government.” He argued in the Federalist Papers that “republican government presupposes the existence of these qualities in a higher degree than any other form.” ¹⁹

It is part of our civic duty to be moral in our conduct toward all people. There is no place in responsible citizenship for dishonesty or deceit or for willful law breaking of any kind. We believe with the author of Proverbs that “righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people.” (Prov. 14:34.) The personal righteousness of citizens will strengthen a nation more than the force of its arms.

Citizens should also be practitioners of civic virtue in their conduct toward government. They should be ever willing to fulfill the duties of citizenship. This includes compulsory duties like military service and the numerous voluntary actions they must take if they are to preserve the principle of limited government through citizen self-reliance. For example, since U.S. citizens value the right of trial by jury, they must be willing to serve on juries, even those involving unsavory subject matter. Citizens who favor morality cannot leave the enforcement of moral laws to jurors who oppose them.

Voices in my head: guilt or cheerleader?

I have many voices in my head...and, no.  As far as I know, I am not certifiably insane :).

As I plan a meal, I may hear RaNae say, "My mom always taught me to have at least two color of vegetables at my meals."  As I set the table, I remember something Mommy Susan used to say about how her mother would set the table so beautifully. And then, as I serve up my plate, I may hear Shara say, "I don't understand why people don't just use the simple way to lose weight and be healthy and just eat normal, well-balanced portions of food."


When I look in the mirror, I often hear Tiffany say, "Mary, you have such lovely eyes!  Just a little touch of make-up here would set them off just perfectly!" :)*   When my kids start going crazy, I hear Ronell Gardner's words at a book club: "Whenever my kids are crazy, I know it is time to grab a pile of books, a couple of kids, and sit down and start snuggling and reading!  Soon, everyone is drawn in and I just keep reading until the mood changes.  Works every time!"

This is one of my favorites:  When I get too ideal and dreamy-eyed romantic with how perfect my life should be--if only I do everything "just" right--I hear my own dear Sister Rausch say, "Get real!" :)

My all-time favorite?  When the world seems against me, and I am discouraged because of what someone has said or done, I hear Quinn say, "Who is the most important person in the world to you?" (Him, of course :).) "And who loves you sooooooo much and thinks you're wonderful?" (Him, of course, again.) Then, spoken with that sly grin of his, "Then what else matters?"

...and the list goes on, and on, and on.

Sometimes, it is images that drift across my mind.  As I watch my two-year old struggle to control her little body, I remember the peaceful image of Julie tracing her little two-year old nephew's arm, while he stands by her side for along time.  As I clean my bathroom, I reflect on the cleanliness of the house of my dear Mom and Dad Biesinger, and the obvious peace and joy it brought them.

I love these people, these images and voices in my head...most of the time. :)   I didn't used to, so much.  I would remember all the awesome wonderful things that people would do and feel guilt.  Pure guilt.  I would beat myself up for not measuring up, every time, to their example or words.  Crazy and debilitating!!

How wrong is that!  Like my favorite saying goes:

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.... You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you... We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

 
So now, I try to look on these voices, these beautiful reminders of truths--that are lived, and not just spoken--by dear friends and family as PERSONAL CHEERLEADERS!!  I know these people, and I know that all of them would not wish for me to feel guilty because of their excellent examples in these areas.  They would know and understand how hard it is to live truths, and encourage and love me through my weaknesses.

To be afraid of others and their examples is to turn off the power of good that they can be in our lives!!!

LET IT SHINE.

**Thanks, Tiffany...my personal beauty consultant :).  A few years ago, when I felt I needed a mentor in the area of "being more feminine and beautiful," I turned to the most beautiful woman I know, and she agreed to help me :).  And she is beautiful inside and out!

16 tons, Hungarian style...

On the way home from the store, early yesterday morning, with groceries on my back and in a bag slung over my shoulder, I felt like I was in the first part of "Joe vs. The Volcano".

People were trudging down the streets, on their way to work.  Maybe it was the early morning, maybe it was just another day at work, maybe it was lots of things...

I just couldn't help feeling that they were caught up in the drudgery that this song captures!  (With my 100 pounds of groceries I was carrying, I wanted to start singing: "If you see me comin', better step aside.  A lot of men meet me, a lot of men die...")

Quinn and I want to lift these people.  There are so many people here who are just plain discouraged! They get less than half of their paychecks...and that's even the "poorer people,"  like the handy man that came to work on our door and charged only about $25 for two hours of work!  The food costs at least as much as in the US, utilities are crazy, and clothing and gas are pricey.  The only thing that is cheap is our housing.



We have been studying a bit of Hungarian history and the following quote really stood out to me.  It is from a description of the Battle of Mohacs, around 1550 ad:
Mohács is seen by many Hungarians as the decisive downward turning point in the country's history, a national trauma that persists in the nation's folk memory. Whilst Mohács was a decisive loss, it was the aftermath that truly put an end to independent Hungary. The ensuing two hundred years of near constant warfare between the two empires, Habsburg and Ottoman, turned Hungary into a perpetual battlefield. The countryside was regularly ravaged by armies moving back and forth, in turn devastating the population. 

It is hard trying to get an impression of a "mood" having minimal knowledge of the language and not having met more than a handful, but between what I have heard and seen, it seems that these are a people weighed down with a past of oppression and weariness.  The paragraph above captures this, with it's reference to the "national trauma that still persists in the nation's folk memory."  


They are a beautiful people.  They would do anything to help us.  They would give us the shirts off of their backs.  I have had men that look like the one in the first photo, reach down to help the stroller off the bus, shoot out a hand to help one of our children as they stumble down the aisle on the bus, or just melt as they see Spooner, our little baby, smiling at them, and give a little "hello" wave. The Hungarians are shy, but when you get beyond that, with a smile, a hug, a friendly "hello," you see the beautiful warmth of their soul creep out into a slight twinkle of the eye or a shy smile that lights up their whole face. 

I love these people..."trudgery" and all.

The symphony that is my life...

Listen to this while you read :)...it's more fun that way.

 This morning, on the way to grocery shopping once again :), I was practicing my hungarian.  Every little bit helps, right?  As I did, I thought about my friend Rachel that I met here, who has been a blessing to me with her inspiration and advice about learning languages (she has quite the knack, after many, many years of dedicated study of languages). 

I thought, "What a blessing that our paths could cross, if even for just a short while."

That made me think about all the "little intersections" of my paths with the paths of others that have so blessed my life.  "It's like a symphony," I thought, "with all the little notes making it beautiful!" 

That got me thinking about how Heavenly Father is the conductor, and how amazing it is that He can guide and direct so many people in so many lives to be there right when they need them. I reflected on the many people that are the "notes" in the beautiful symphony that is my life and, on that beautiful misty morning walk, I gave thanks.



Some parts of my life are more like the fast movements; some are slower; and some, yes, are minor...and it made me smile thinking of how much I enjoy minor, melancholy music, but not minor, melancholy life  :).

And that got me thinking about a quote from Elder Uchtdorf at the last conference:

Doesn’t it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when they will end?

Do we listen to beautiful music waiting for the final note to fade before we allow ourselves to truly enjoy it? No. We listen and connect to the variations of melody, rhythm, and harmony throughout the composition.

 Thank you, all you wonderful people, that make up the beautiful symphony that is my life...

"The Parable of the Exploding Peaches," my lesson on anger...

I thought I was the perfect parent...

...and then I had kids :).

Parenthood is something of a refiner's fire, as Heavenly Father sends down children for us to learn more about who we are and what we need to become to be more like Him.  Our weaknesses seem to really come out as we are put into every possible scenario of being stressed, sleep-deprived, worried, upset...you name it :).  Of course, the positive moments make up for it, but you do find things out about yourself during those trying times.

One thing I discovered about myself was that I had a temper.  And it could be bad.

Without going into further humiliating detail, let's just say that I found it was a way to get things done.  When all else would fail, too often I found myself yelling or throwing things to get "attention" (and I got it, surprise, surprise) and whatever else my anger inspired.  It wasn't pretty.

I could blame all sorts of things for being angry.  I also knew it wasn't good.  It was one of those things that would make me cringe when I heard talks about not being angry.  I would resolve time and again not to do it, but would still default to it in times of stress.

Apparently, Heavenly Father knew that I needed something a little more dramatic than a Sunday School lesson.

One night a few years ago, as I was bottling, I put on the last batch of peaches after a long, long day of bottling, and decided to go to bed for a bit.  Generally, I can grab a snatch of sleep and be good again for a while.  Quinn, of course, counseled against it, but I was sure I would wake up in time to get the bottles off the steamer.


A couple hours later, we woke up to the sound of explosions.  It sounded like a blast, followed by shattering, and Quinn and I were instantly awake!  We both ran into the kitchen, and saw shattered glass and gluey peaches over every possible surface in the room.  He ran across the glass-strewn floor--at the risk of sliced up, burnt feet-- to grab the last bottle off before it, too, blew.  Apparently, the top of the steamer had blasted off earlier to land on the floor on the opposite side of the room after the water had evaporated and the pressure of steam had built up too much to contain it.  Six out of the seven jars were blasted open from the heat build-up.

Silence.

"I think I'll  clean this up in the morning," I said.  :)

Well, fast forward a few hours and it is morning.  The hot peach muck has solidified into hardened little mounds all over the kitchen and dining room, with little bits of glass all through it.  Hmmm...
I couldn't use rags...the glass wouldn't allow that. The only thing I could figure out to do was to soak it gradually with wet paper towels draped across a surface and then carefully try to get it up off the surface after it had soaked without cutting myself.

Needless to say, it took several hours.  The plastered peach-glass tidbits had found their way even behind appliances on the counter-top and into every nook and cranny that was exposed, no matter the angle.  It was even six inches in behind the fridge!

Toward the beginning of cleaning up, as I felt overwhelmed with the task, a little familiar voice whispered, "Mary, this is like your anger.  When you explode in anger--like these jars exploded--, you cannot just fix it easily.  You cannot see where it hurts your kids and others, and, like this mess, it hardens quickly and is painful."

All of a sudden, this task took on new meaning.  I knew Heavenly Father could have awakened me in time to turn off the peaches. I know all sorts of miracles could have averted this catastrophe.  But He didn't.  Just like my anger, there was no quick fix.  It took long hard work to "fix" it, and still, weeks later, I would find little clumps of peach rock embedded with glass.

That lesson was a powerful one for me, that lesson of the exploding peach jars.

I wish I could say I was perfect after that :).  I have fasted, prayed, and worked on it since then and still succumb.  I am getting better, and pray that someday my patience will become a great strength as it was a great weakness before.   And, in the meanwhile, I am grateful that the Lord is with me to help clean up the mess of my anger with His atonement, so that, like my kitchen gradually became, I can be someday be clean of the effects of my exploding peach anger.

"Acting on only a twig of faith, allows God to grow it..."--Elder Eyring