Voices in my head: guilt or cheerleader?

I have many voices in my head...and, no.  As far as I know, I am not certifiably insane :).

As I plan a meal, I may hear RaNae say, "My mom always taught me to have at least two color of vegetables at my meals."  As I set the table, I remember something Mommy Susan used to say about how her mother would set the table so beautifully. And then, as I serve up my plate, I may hear Shara say, "I don't understand why people don't just use the simple way to lose weight and be healthy and just eat normal, well-balanced portions of food."


When I look in the mirror, I often hear Tiffany say, "Mary, you have such lovely eyes!  Just a little touch of make-up here would set them off just perfectly!" :)*   When my kids start going crazy, I hear Ronell Gardner's words at a book club: "Whenever my kids are crazy, I know it is time to grab a pile of books, a couple of kids, and sit down and start snuggling and reading!  Soon, everyone is drawn in and I just keep reading until the mood changes.  Works every time!"

This is one of my favorites:  When I get too ideal and dreamy-eyed romantic with how perfect my life should be--if only I do everything "just" right--I hear my own dear Sister Rausch say, "Get real!" :)

My all-time favorite?  When the world seems against me, and I am discouraged because of what someone has said or done, I hear Quinn say, "Who is the most important person in the world to you?" (Him, of course :).) "And who loves you sooooooo much and thinks you're wonderful?" (Him, of course, again.) Then, spoken with that sly grin of his, "Then what else matters?"

...and the list goes on, and on, and on.

Sometimes, it is images that drift across my mind.  As I watch my two-year old struggle to control her little body, I remember the peaceful image of Julie tracing her little two-year old nephew's arm, while he stands by her side for along time.  As I clean my bathroom, I reflect on the cleanliness of the house of my dear Mom and Dad Biesinger, and the obvious peace and joy it brought them.

I love these people, these images and voices in my head...most of the time. :)   I didn't used to, so much.  I would remember all the awesome wonderful things that people would do and feel guilt.  Pure guilt.  I would beat myself up for not measuring up, every time, to their example or words.  Crazy and debilitating!!

How wrong is that!  Like my favorite saying goes:

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.... You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you... We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

 
So now, I try to look on these voices, these beautiful reminders of truths--that are lived, and not just spoken--by dear friends and family as PERSONAL CHEERLEADERS!!  I know these people, and I know that all of them would not wish for me to feel guilty because of their excellent examples in these areas.  They would know and understand how hard it is to live truths, and encourage and love me through my weaknesses.

To be afraid of others and their examples is to turn off the power of good that they can be in our lives!!!

LET IT SHINE.

**Thanks, Tiffany...my personal beauty consultant :).  A few years ago, when I felt I needed a mentor in the area of "being more feminine and beautiful," I turned to the most beautiful woman I know, and she agreed to help me :).  And she is beautiful inside and out!