New Year Creed

I have found my 2014 theme...

And do not be afraid to apply that influence without fear or apology. “Be ready always to give an answer to every [man, woman, and child] that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.” “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.” “Bring up your children in light and truth.” “Teach [them] to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”
http://lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/the-moral-force-of-women.p23?lang=eng

Now to start the battle of the census.  Re-painting the basement will have to wait.  There are freedoms to be won.  (Or "re-won" as the case may be.) Wish me luck! 

No excuses

I have loved reading in the New Testament as I strive to be more of a teacher, leader, and parent in the manner of Christ!  I fall far short of it, but it has been humbling, inspiring, and directive in helping change my life as I strive to be more like the leader Christ was.

I have noticed something in the Book of St. John where I am reading right now:  the beginning of the last several chapters I have read seem to be taking away any excuses I might have for becoming whom God wants me to become.

I first noticed it in chapter 9, when Jesus heals the blind man and tells the people that the blind man was blind not because the blind man or his parents had sinned, but "that the works of God should be made manifest in him."  It made me think of my weaknesses and inabilities, and I thought, "maybe the shortcomings of my situation that feel beyond my control are not there because I have sinned, but because God needs to work an obvious miracle in my life to the world?"  It made me think of the Savior, how he could have been born in a palace, son of a powerful and virtuous king...but he was not.  He was born in a lowly manger and still accomplished what God had for him to do on this earth.

I then started looking back at the chapter before that, chapter 8, in which he forgives the woman taken in adultery.  Not only was she a sinner, but it was obvious to everyone!  He gives her license to go and become whom God sees she can become in spite of committing one of the greatest offenses against God, for he saw into her heart, that she was truly repentant, and that she would, as it says in the JST of verse 11, "[glorify] God from that hour and [believe] on his name."  Hmmmm...past sins cannot get in our way.

Moving back further: In chapter 7, Jesus's very own kinsman have no faith in him and who he is, those who have seen him be perfect his whole life!  Wow.  Apparently the consent and approval of those around us (or the lack thereof!) is not essential to becoming God's servant.

Chapter 6: the feeding of the 5,000.  I have blogged on this before, but a quick recap: even if it seems that the resources we have (and the resources of those around us, from friends to "children") are limited, the Lord can work His miracles through us.  No excuses.

It made me curious as I t,hought about this, reflecting on the previous chapters that I had remembered, so I looked into chapter 5 as well: there, the lame man's excuse is "I have no one to move me to the water to heal me!" "I have no one to help me accomplish this seemingly impossible task before me!" is a cry I can relate to!  Of course, I have an amazing husband, wonderful children, and friends and family, but don't we all look around at one point and say "help!" and feel it isn't there?  Apparently, I am not looking toward the right source for that help :).

"He that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; For I do always those things that please him." (John 8:29)

One by one, the Savior showed by example that my excuses are merely that...excuses.  He is truly able to work with us to overcome all obstacles to doing God's work and becoming whom He would have us become, but, in each of these circumstances, he first requires an act of faith on our part: to gather the fish and bread, to wash our eyes in the water, to raise our eyes to look around for hope in the depths of despair.

So, what is to be my act of faith to open the way for miracles into my life?  Hmmm....good question :).  But at least this much is clear: I know that whenever I start telling myself excuses, chances are that is all they are...excuses.  And, chances are, if I look around enough, I will find a way that God has provided for me to accomplish His wonders in my life.

You never know...

What do we do when our burden seems heavy?  Where do we turn?

I loved the following story of a woman watching her grandson, as he calmly and lovingly stood by his Granny and stroked her hand:

I said to him, those who want to be baptized need to be willing to serve the Lord by serving others—for your whole life! I said: “I don’t know if you realized it, but the way you showed love and concern for Granny was keeping your covenants. We keep our covenants every day as we are kind, show love, and take care of each other.

Sometimes, honestly, I just want to give up...throw in the towel.  I get emails from people telling me that I have offended them (unintentionally, of course)...give up.  My baby pukes for morning after morning the week that I have three plays and two dress rehearsals, not to mention three other class engagements scheduled...give up.  I am endlessly behind in preparing for what seems urgent in my different homsechooling groups...give up.  The house is trashed...give up.  I cannot possibly be meeting the nurturing and educational needs of all these children!...give up. I have dishes in my sink from Thanksgiving...give up.  I am on my way to a dress rehearsal with almost a hundred people waiting for me, and one of my children accidentally locks both sets of keys in the car (my fault they are both in there), along with the key to the building we are rehearsing at...can I give up now :)?  I get home to find an email (among so many that seem to scream "urgent!" due to the time-sensitive nature of them for various groups I am in) saying that while we were there at the rehearsal we finally got to (thanks to a locksmith--$125 later), we had different behavioral issues come up that compromised the safety and morality of our youth...can I please give up now? Pretty please?

As I walked upstairs last night--feeling a little overwhelmed, I must admit--the thought went through my mind, "Daughter, I knew that when I asked you to do these things, your days and your home and, yes, even your emails would look like this.  This is my work.  I did not set you up for failure."  With my heart a little lighter, I went to bed.

When I awoke this morning, my mind afire with doubts once again, I headed downstairs to give distraction to the whirlwind in my mind.  As I sat down to start with my personal morning devotional of scriptures, Conference talk, and a prayer, the Spirit lovingly guided me to this talk, and I will continue to quote from it:

This covenant will give you opportunities to bless and serve others and help you to prepare for the covenants you will make in the temple. Thank you for being such a good example to me! Thank you for showing me what it looks like to be a covenant keeper!”
Porter replied back: “Grandma, thanks for the message. When I was always hugging Granny, I didn’t know that I was keeping my covenants, but I felt warm in my heart and felt really good. I know that it was the Holy Ghost in my heart.”
I also felt warm in my heart when I realized that Porter had connected keeping his covenants with the promise to “always have his Spirit to be with [us]”—a promise made possible by receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost.

 So, even if my little way of serving seems so, so little, if I feel the Spirit, it is enough?  Just keep serving?  Oh Lord, but it seems so heavy, I cried!  There are so many places where I see failure on my part...inability to do enough. Then I continued reading:

We’re all at different places on the path. But we can work together to help each other “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.”

As I read this, my mind was opened to the many ways others around me, each on their different stages on the path, have helped me to press forward: the mom from my boys group who brought over dinner on Monday, the wonderfully patient people who were only supportive and not upset over the fiasco with the keys, the wonderfully mindful parent who took responsible action to bring to light the problem situation at the church, the parents who step in, lovingly and quietly, to not only support me and mentor my children, but who serve and serve and serve as well.  Each one helps me!  Each one honors their covenants by reaching out where they are at, bless their hearts!  You never know when your "small" love makes all the difference to another.

So now, I just want to express thanks to all those who honor their covenants by serving me and my family, each in their own way, on their different places on the path.  You never know how you will be blessing others, and I guess I can keep trying to do it, both with my children and others...all with a dirty house :).