You never know...

What do we do when our burden seems heavy?  Where do we turn?

I loved the following story of a woman watching her grandson, as he calmly and lovingly stood by his Granny and stroked her hand:

I said to him, those who want to be baptized need to be willing to serve the Lord by serving others—for your whole life! I said: “I don’t know if you realized it, but the way you showed love and concern for Granny was keeping your covenants. We keep our covenants every day as we are kind, show love, and take care of each other.

Sometimes, honestly, I just want to give up...throw in the towel.  I get emails from people telling me that I have offended them (unintentionally, of course)...give up.  My baby pukes for morning after morning the week that I have three plays and two dress rehearsals, not to mention three other class engagements scheduled...give up.  I am endlessly behind in preparing for what seems urgent in my different homsechooling groups...give up.  The house is trashed...give up.  I cannot possibly be meeting the nurturing and educational needs of all these children!...give up. I have dishes in my sink from Thanksgiving...give up.  I am on my way to a dress rehearsal with almost a hundred people waiting for me, and one of my children accidentally locks both sets of keys in the car (my fault they are both in there), along with the key to the building we are rehearsing at...can I give up now :)?  I get home to find an email (among so many that seem to scream "urgent!" due to the time-sensitive nature of them for various groups I am in) saying that while we were there at the rehearsal we finally got to (thanks to a locksmith--$125 later), we had different behavioral issues come up that compromised the safety and morality of our youth...can I please give up now? Pretty please?

As I walked upstairs last night--feeling a little overwhelmed, I must admit--the thought went through my mind, "Daughter, I knew that when I asked you to do these things, your days and your home and, yes, even your emails would look like this.  This is my work.  I did not set you up for failure."  With my heart a little lighter, I went to bed.

When I awoke this morning, my mind afire with doubts once again, I headed downstairs to give distraction to the whirlwind in my mind.  As I sat down to start with my personal morning devotional of scriptures, Conference talk, and a prayer, the Spirit lovingly guided me to this talk, and I will continue to quote from it:

This covenant will give you opportunities to bless and serve others and help you to prepare for the covenants you will make in the temple. Thank you for being such a good example to me! Thank you for showing me what it looks like to be a covenant keeper!”
Porter replied back: “Grandma, thanks for the message. When I was always hugging Granny, I didn’t know that I was keeping my covenants, but I felt warm in my heart and felt really good. I know that it was the Holy Ghost in my heart.”
I also felt warm in my heart when I realized that Porter had connected keeping his covenants with the promise to “always have his Spirit to be with [us]”—a promise made possible by receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost.

 So, even if my little way of serving seems so, so little, if I feel the Spirit, it is enough?  Just keep serving?  Oh Lord, but it seems so heavy, I cried!  There are so many places where I see failure on my part...inability to do enough. Then I continued reading:

We’re all at different places on the path. But we can work together to help each other “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.”

As I read this, my mind was opened to the many ways others around me, each on their different stages on the path, have helped me to press forward: the mom from my boys group who brought over dinner on Monday, the wonderfully patient people who were only supportive and not upset over the fiasco with the keys, the wonderfully mindful parent who took responsible action to bring to light the problem situation at the church, the parents who step in, lovingly and quietly, to not only support me and mentor my children, but who serve and serve and serve as well.  Each one helps me!  Each one honors their covenants by reaching out where they are at, bless their hearts!  You never know when your "small" love makes all the difference to another.

So now, I just want to express thanks to all those who honor their covenants by serving me and my family, each in their own way, on their different places on the path.  You never know how you will be blessing others, and I guess I can keep trying to do it, both with my children and others...all with a dirty house :).