Weeping

 My heart is so full of sadness right now.

I watched Hyrum's last football game for the season last night.  It was about 2.5 hours away but we were super excited.  Both teams had a completely losing season (yes, solid "zeroes" in the win column) so one of them was going to come away with a win.  Our little team had a chance!

Federal Hocking started the first several games of the season with one touchdown.

One.

On game five or six (can't remember which), they did the unbelievable...they scored against one of their harder teams!  And then they scored again. And again.  And again!! In fact, they came back enough to pressure the other team to knee it and run down the clock to make sure we didn't win!  It was like the culmination of what was happening off the field (coupled with some amazing cheering on the part of my family, I might add...) had made for an almost win on the field. 

And the boys walked off that field like champions.

Since then, I have made sure that I could be at every game. Most of the time, the cheerleaders don't even come--or really cheer--especially if it's an away game.  I get it.  For the last four years, Federal Hocking hasn't even finished its seasons due to various reasons!  I have loved our coach for sticking with it...especially since that includes mentoring my boy. My sweet Hyrum.  And each of those last few games you could feel the increased confidence of our team.  Yes, they still didn't win; but they were playing more like they could win. It was inspiring to feel their heart!

But then, there was last night.

I felt like I was watching a re-run of "Remember the Titans," the part where they play a game against blatant discrimination on the part of the refs.  It was so ugly.

Every time our team got close to making a touchdown, we would be called for something nit-picky.

Every time the other team couldn't make a first down, a penalty that more often than naught I had never heard called in the season before would be called.  Or it was obviously not one.  For instance, one time, no less than four of our guys moved in unison previous to the snap on defense.  Four guys cannot coordinate something like that on the line.  The offensive team had to have done a "false start."  The call?  "Illegal procedure on the defense"...basically a "false start" equivalent for the defense.  

But the worst part?  The missed calls that could hurt our boys.  The missed calls that did hurt our boys.

Helmet to helmet.

Late hits...way off the sideline and right in front of the ref.

Blocks in the back.

And the final straw?  They didn't call the play dead and one of our boys was so injured he ended up going to the hospital after sobbing on the field in pain. I've never seen that magnitude in these games.  

Now, I am not a ref judger generally. To me, if you're willing to ref high school football in these lowest of leagues, kudos to you!!  But call it both ways!  And don't let the boys get hurt. 

The final score? 44-0.  Congrats, refs. You kept us from scoring. And you got one of our players severely hurt.  I seethed.

The reason?  Not because our team lost. Honestly, the other team had a great running team and it could have been a really fun match-up.  The reason is because my boys came to play with heart and the refs did everything they could to make sure they couldn't make things work. 

I mean, come on!  This is a team that is the bottom of the barrel. Persisting with heart, knowing they will probably lose, but still showing up on the field with heads held up, time and again, doing their best.   It just broke my heart.  And I wept.

I saw the young men being put into jeopardy with a game with such one-sided-ness that I was truly dumbfounded.

****

Later it hit me.  Our coach is black.  We have a player that is black.  And we were playing just across the Mason-Dixon line with referees that were probably from Kentucky.  And this was back-water country.  Could it truly have been prejudice?

Looking back, there is really no other explanation how a group of five grown men could so blatantly call the way they did on a game between the two losing-est teams in the program.  I marveled at it last night and wonder now...did I really just witness what happened in "Remember the Titans" in person?

I raise my kids to love everyone. And they do.  They've had friends of different races, religions, social statuses and sexual orientations and never batted an eye.  My kids see people.  I see people.  We read, we discuss, we watch meaningful media that shows the ugly of discrimination and we as a family stand strongly against any discrimination.  We get angry and we weep.

And that's what we did last night.  Quinn got angry and I wept.

I know God weeps when He sees this in whatever magnitude happen among his children and read that verse this morning.  It is from the section of scripture translated by Joseph Smith from ancient papyrus called "The Book of Moses."

Moses 7:26 And he [Enoch] beheld Satan; and he had a great ^achain in his hand, and it veiled the whole face of the earth with ^bdarkness; and he looked up and ^claughed, and his ^dangels rejoiced...

28 And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the ^aresidue of the people, and he wept; and Enoch bore record of it, saying: How is it that the heavens weep, and shed forth their tears as the rain upon the mountains?

29 And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst ^aweep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?

30 And were it possible that man could number the particles of the earth, yea, millions of ^aearths like this, it would not be a beginning to the number of thy ^bcreations; and thy curtains are stretched out still; and yet thou art there, and thy bosom is there; and also thou art just; thou art merciful and kind forever;... from all eternity to all eternity; and naught but peace, ^bjustice, and truth is the habitation of thy throne; and mercy shall go before thy face and have no end; how is it thou canst ^cweep?

32 The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own ^ahands, and I gave unto them their ^bknowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his ^cagency;

33 And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should ^alove one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they ^bhate their own blood;

34 And the ^afire of mine ^bindignation is kindled against them; and in my hot displeasure will I send in the ^cfloods upon them, for my fierce anger is kindled against them.

35 Behold, I am God; ^aMan of Holiness is my name; Man of Counsel is my name; and Endless and Eternal is my ^bname, also.

36 Wherefore, I can stretch forth mine hands and hold all the ^acreations which I have made; and mine eye can pierce them also, and among all the workmanship of mine hands there has not been so great ^bwickedness as among thy brethren.

37 But behold, their sins shall be upon the heads of their fathers; Satan shall be their father, and misery shall be their doom; and the whole heavens shall weep over them, even all the workmanship of mine hands; wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?

38 But behold, these which thine eyes are upon shall perish in the floods; and behold, I will shut them up; a ^aprison have I prepared for them.

39 And ^athat which I have chosen hath pled before my face. Wherefore, he ^bsuffereth for their sins; inasmuch as they will repent in the day that my ^cChosen shall return unto me, and until that day they shall be in ^dtorment;

40 Wherefore, for this shall the heavens weep, yea, and all the workmanship of mine hands....

44 And as Enoch saw this, he had ^abitterness of soul, and wept over his brethren, and said unto the heavens: I will refuse to be ^bcomforted; but the Lord said unto Enoch: Lift up your heart, and be glad; and look.

45 And it came to pass that Enoch looked; and from Noah, he beheld all the families of the earth; and he cried unto the Lord, saying: When shall the day of the Lord come? When shall the blood of the Righteous be shed, that all they that mourn may be ^asanctified and have eternal life?

46 And the Lord said: It shall be in the ^ameridian of time, in the days of wickedness and vengeance.

47 And behold, Enoch ^asaw the day of the coming of the Son of Man, even in the flesh; and his soul rejoiced, saying: The Righteous is lifted up, and the ^bLamb is slain from the foundation of the world; and through ^cfaith I am in the bosom of the Father, and behold, ^dZion is with me....

58 And again Enoch wept and cried unto the Lord, saying: When shall the earth ^arest?...

60 And the Lord said unto Enoch: As I live, even so will I come in the ^alast days, in the days of wickedness and vengeance, to fulfil the ^boath which I have made unto you concerning the children of Noah;

61 And the day shall come that the earth shall ^arest, but before that day the heavens shall be ^bdarkened, and a ^cveil of darkness shall cover the earth; and the heavens shall shake, and also the earth; and great tribulations shall be among the children of men, but my people will I ^dpreserve;

62 And ^arighteousness will I send down out of heaven; and truth will I send forth out of the earth, to bear ^btestimony of mine Only Begotten; his ^cresurrection from the dead; yea, and also the resurrection of all men; and righteousness and truth will I cause to sweep the earth as with a flood, to ^dgather out mine elect from the four quarters of the earth, unto a place which I shall prepare, an Holy City, that my people may gird up their loins, and be looking forth for the time of my coming; for there shall be my tabernacle, and it shall be called ^eZion, a ^fNew Jerusalem.

63 And the Lord said unto Enoch: Then shalt thou and all thy ^acity meet them there, and we will ^breceive them into our bosom, and they shall see us; and we will fall upon their necks, and they shall fall upon our necks, and we will kiss each other;

64 And there shall be mine abode, and it shall be Zion, which shall come forth out of all the creations which I have made; and for the space of a ^athousand years the ^bearth shall ^crest.

 I am grateful that there will be peace. I am grateful that there will be rest. And, yes, especially after last night, I am grateful that there will be that time when those refs will have to look and see with open eyes what they were truly doing on that field last night and who they were truly hurting.

It broke my heart.  All those enduring, hard-working, big-hearted young men.

God is mindful. There will be peace and rest.  In the meanwhile, may I chose to make this experience make be better, more aware, more compassionate.

*****

Email I wrote:

Dear OHSAA coordinators,

I applaud our officials who are willing to help.  I recognize how hard it is to be on the field with a crowd that is often unsupportive.  In my cheering, I always focus on being supportive of our players rather than critical of officiating, knowing how challenging it can be.

However, last night in the game of Federal Hocking vs. Manchester, I saw a game called so blatantly one-sided that it became dangerous.  Helmets to helmets, hits in the back, horsecollaring, very late hits on the sideline right in front of the official...it broke my heart.

Both teams had very losing seasons.  Both groups of boys were just there to play.  It could have been a great match-up and we still might have lost.  But by the second quarter, I just couldn't deny that the calls were not only going one way but were even being used to control the game.  It just sickened me. 

I didn't approve of the personal verbal attacks by my fellow crowd members against the referees.  However, I feel that many of the moments addressed by some of the crowd in outraged disbelief bear looking into. 

When that tragic moment came (with a late call after a pile-up in the fourth quarter) and one of our players was left on the field sobbing because of an injury that could have been prevented by calling the play dead, I think one of the refs finally recognized the effect of what they were doing. He took a knee for our boy and I really appreciated that.  I just wish that the referees could somehow know what their actions did so that they will never do it again. 

I don't know if it was because our coach was black, or if they had their own boys on the other team (they were obviously pretty chummy with the other coaching team). I just don't know why.  All I know is that ithe game became dangerous and that is why we have the rules in the game. Not only is that injured young man's future in sports compromised by the referees' officiating, but they did something more, something ugly, something sad in using their power against these high school players who honestly, have been playing with nothing but heart all season, showing up game after game, loss after loss, still giving it their all.

I just wanted that final game for them, that final moment for them to play.  And that was taken away from them by one-sided officiating.  Who can compete against that?

I don't know what you have in your power to do. Please review the game and see for yourselves.  I don't want any kind of retribution or punishment. I just want there to be an awareness of the situation so hopefully this kind of tragedy won't happen again.

Respectfully yours,

Mary Biesinger

Parent of Federal Hocking student 

p.s.  Our injured player received such severe injuries he was taken to the hospital.