Man-bashing, a modern addiction

 I love how this article addresses the hunger many of us feel to be able to communicate with God, to feel His love, attention and presence. I also love how the author points out that He reaches out to us in the everyday labor, worries and tragedies of our lives and that we need not travel far to find Him: 

https://www.womeninthescriptures.com/2020/04/god-comes-to-women.html

What I am uncomfortable with is the voice of negativity with which she addresses my brothers, the men of humanity. She alludes to the men of the scriptures "having the time to go up to the mountains." The times I have read of them actually "going up" are few, and normally in times of great duress--like you're trying to lead a nation of unhappy people and this is your first rodeo, as it were. Many times the men are actually taken up in dreams to get greater scope,...and I believe sleeping is something that all of us do at one point or another.  There are countless spiritual men and women both who led lives unrecorded in the scriptures.  I am sure they experienced many of those transformational experiences they craved, and all while they were hard at work doing their best.  Let's just acknowledge that for some reason, it is mainly through the lens of men that we have received our scriptures and move on. If I see myself as a child of God, it makes it easier to relate to any experience shared by a fellow child of God.

I could address the other issues of man-bashing in this article that were unnecessarily joined to the beautiful message of hope the author expressed; however, I will just put it to you: When you read this article, how did you feel that our brothers were portrayed? Did you come away with any sense of "those darn men....always making the women do the dirty work while their out having their spiritual experiences"?

I wasn't looking for it, and I sure did.

It just breaks my heart that as we look back through history we:
#1-take obvious instances of abuse or discrimination and then assume that pretty much everyone was guilty of it...all the men were taking advantage of those hard-working women to have a good time;
#2-use these examples in history to feel justified in showing bigotry and discrimination against "groups" we have identified in the past as being universal "perpetrators": men, whites, wealthy, politicians, etc.

YES. Let's address those issues, be informed about them, and swear that they will never happen on our watch. Wouldn't it be beautiful if we could all look about us and just see others through the lens of fellow traveler on this world or child of God?  I, for one, am grateful for the distinct and different roles that have evolved in my relationship with my husband.  Maybe many of women of the scriptures were grateful, too, that their husbands were out leading armies and churches?  There are some like Deborah who led out...and God certainly didn't stop her.

Please, let's stop attacking all the good men, whites, wealthy, politicians, etc. that did and do exist, lest we be guilty of the very sin of prejudice that we despise.

No one deserves that.

The Foolishness of God: Pinball and Running

 Last night, we had missionaries from our church over for dinner.  They shared a message with us about wisdom. 

"What is wisdom?" they asked.  

We came up with this answer: experience combined with God's perspective on how to apply knowledge.

Pinball!

Thinking some more about wisdom and knowledge this morning, I find that wisdom is like a pinball game.  

You gain knowledge--whether from schooling or experience-- and it's pinging around and around in your head, like a ball in your inner pinball game.  It isn't until God directs it with those levers at the bottom that you score and go anywhere with your knowledge.  

But you have to invite Him to play with you.

Perhaps this analogy resonated with me because that is how it gets for me in challenging situations--ideas, thoughts, scenarios, problems--just ping around in my head, not going anywhere.  Like wearing paths down in the woods, I create mental tracks that become ruts and I just get stuck.

Mental Health

I have found this particularly true with my mental health challenges that I have been confronting this last year.  They are truly the fruits of a lifetime of mental health challenges but they have come to a head.  I have seen time and again points where I will get to a standstill mentally and emotionally and just can't get those pinging balls to connect with a solution to ease the tension.  I currently have a terrific therapist--a specialist in child loss and trauma, which is particularly helpful--and between direct revelation and Heavenly Father acting through her, I've seen a lot of Him directing my thoughts and knowledge in a fruitful path, sometimes completely tearing up the terrain and reconstructing the whole scene.

And, time and again, the truth of the following scripture is apparent:

1 Cor. 1:25--Because the ^afoolishness of God is wiser than men;

I find that when I am stuck in my inner pinball machine, if I submit and let Him guide my thoughts, sooner or later I score.  Then I feel like my son Xai did this morning, when he ran around the house happily announcing, "The power is back on!" after they went off last night.  It was 2 am, but when the lights come on, it's worth a happy dance no matter the time.

Running

About six years ago I was running with my son Kel in Medina NY.  Neither Kel nor I am fond of running, but he made a point that morning.

"Mom, I feel like when I push myself in exercise, it's like there is a box that opens inside of me and lets out some of my harder emotions, helping me release frustrations," he observed.  Piper shows the same reaction after a race.  She said that she feels her emotions more extremely in the time after that ultimate exertion.

Apparently this morning, running created that openness for me.

I had hit a point in a relationship that I just couldn't seem to get past and, after last night's discussion with the Elders, I specifically prayed this morning, "Please, God, help me see the situation with wisdom."  I think in the past I always wanted Him to fix things--take away the pain, change it.  This morning's prayer seemed a little different.  I just wanted Him to help direct the inner pinballs clattering madly in my brain.

So back to running, I headed out in the early hours with my earbuds on and my personal song-list singing in my ears. A little Vivaldi set the stage, followed by Blackbird by Gentri. Pushing myself in my lumbering I felt my inside open up and then a song hit my heart.  I got an answer, and it came right as I hit the bottom of a huge hill, like a huge nudge from a pinball machine lever operated by a Father who loves me...

You're not the only one who feels like this

Feeling like you lose more than you win

Like life is just an endless hill you climb

You try and try, but never arrive...

GO AHEAD AND LIVE LIKE YOU'RE LOVED.

And then it was followed by this one--another ping from the levers-- a song that has always resonated with me.  While it is from the perspective of a father, I find it has been very instructive applied to my roles as wife and mother, roles that God told me in my patriarchal blessing would be the most important thing I ever do in this life; roles that I am finding more and more joy in as I deliberately allow myself to enjoy them.

I was grateful for the reminder of what matters most to me, despite what other relationships may feel like right now. I am grateful I can focus on those and trust God to help me work with the others, just as He has with my family.

The final lever that struck my ever-pinging mental balls was one of deep connection, through a song called, "God Only Knows" from King and Country:

Wide awake while the world is sound asleep and

Too afraid of what might show up while you're dreaming

Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you

Nobody, nobody would believe you

Every day you try to pick up all the pieces

All the memories, they somehow never leave you

Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you

Nobody, nobody would believe you

God only knows what you've been through

God only knows what they say about you

God only knows how it's killing you

But there's a kind of love that God only knows

God only knows what you've been through

God only knows what they say about you

But God only knows the real you

There's a kind of love that God only knows

I know that what appears as "foolishness" of God always trumps the knowledge and perspective of our mortal eyes. I am grateful for the reminder from the Elders to let God guide my inner pinball game to score some great perspective and answers today.  While they may not seem to answer the question and problem I thought I was facing, He helped me to see where I really needed answers and perspective.

Peace.  Love. Score.

The inner pinball machine is quiet for a while. I'll take it. And thanks, running, for unlocking my heart enough to receive it.