I had a very life-changing conversation with a dear friend the other day about this and would like to share what I have found. I anticipate any thoughts that you, my dear friends and family, may have in response.
I am a perfectionist.
As a perfectionist, it is very difficult to live in this world, as I have heard from many of my fellow self-designated "perfectionists" :). No matter how good you do or are, someone always looks or just is, better than you in any given area! You have continual expectations (how the day is going to go, how the house should look, how your child is going to act, what you are going to say to a person, how you should look, how others should behave, etc. etc., etc!) So, I have always sought for external validations that I am "succeeding" or even getting close: a clean house, good grades and high honors, perfect children, perfect body, and perfect Saint. And then, when I don’t measure up, as I eventually fail to with those standards, I go the opposite extreme of just not doing it, not trying, pretending that I just don’t care enough to try. (For instance, I am a virtually computer-illiterate person who comes from a family of literal computer geniuses–I decided when I was young that I was not good at it, and, bullheadedly have remained so since! ;)
As you can guess, this kind of living creates a lot of stress! A life of constant comparison and constant self-judgment is not an easy one...yet some deep inner part of me feels that there is only one standard I can compare myself to for "perfection" and, like in my "Big Toe" parable, it happens to be the sum total of the "perfection" I see in everyone around me: physically, emotionally, and mentally in the roles of mother, Christian, house-keeper, woman, friend, and scholar, to name a few. I imagine there are a few others out there like me...
However, over the years, I have learned a few things about "perfection".
First of all, it does not look the same for everyone. My body, while far from perfect as it is (, would not be perfect at "size 2"...I would be undernourished and emaciated. Also, for my family to be "perfect", I currently see that as healthy, clean, spiritually aware, and full of love towards each other, which cannot be attained by rigid conformity to a sterile house, rigorous exercise schedule, and continual study and practice of how to be nice in a filthy, disease-ridden house, with poor nutrition habits. (As a plaque I gave to my sister-in-law said: "This house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy!") Each of us have to find a balance of what is important in our lives, or, inevitably, if we are too focused on one area, the others will sicken. Unfortunately, this is "uncomparable" territory!
Secondly, there is only one person who knows what your individual perfection is supposed to look like: your personal God. As we trust in Him, ask Him prayerfully what is truly needful each day, He will guide us, and we must trust that He knows what He is talking about. So, when kneeling down for inspiration at the beginning of the day, we can do as Elder Eyring from my church counseled:
"A morning prayer and an early search in the scriptures can set the course for a day. We can know which task, of all those we might choose, matters most to God and therefore to us...such a prayer is always answered if we ask and ponder with childlike submission, ready to act without delay to perform even the most humble service...all would be possible for the humblest of us. The temptation to delay will come from two feelings...one to be complacent...and the other to feel overwhelmed."Lovingly pray: "Please let me serve this day. It doesn’t matter to me how few things I may be able to do...Just let me know what I can do. I will obey this day. I know I can, with thy help."Hard as things seem today, they will be better in the next day if you choose to serve the Lord this day with your whole heart...when your burdens become too heavy, the Lord, whom you have served, will carry what you cannot. He knows how. He prepared long ago. He suffered your infirmities and your sorrows when He was in the flesh so He would know how to succor you.When you go to sleep: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things" (Ensign, May 2007)
And then, we act on it. We follow the spirit, our gleanings of God's will. We find those things, over time, that are truly important, and then, if we have time to clean up more, study a little more, etc., that is just a bonus! I have found, that, for me personally, the inspiration generally involves something about relationships or service, forgiveness or repenting...and it is typically a small and simple way to do exactly that. That is how my personal perfection looks and I trust Him.
Perhaps, the why of why I trust Him is key, and was the biggest thing I learned from my conversation about perfection with my friend the other day–
I realized that my personal concept of "perfection" is why I have always felt uncomfortable and confused when people tell me, "How can you blame yourself for what happened with your son, Isaak. It was just an accident!"
Of course it was an accident. Of course I didn’t do it on purpose. However, now, thanks to that conversation, I have the words to describe why I still felt that I needed the Atonement of Jesus Christ so desperately.
My friend’s husband has been fired from his job. He is an amazing professional with an incomparable sales profile and resume, and felt like this was an attack to his respectability, especially since his previous employers had been close personal friends of the family. To a man, to not only challenge his respectability but take away the means by which he supports those he loves is an incredible blow. And, to a perfectionist man, the blow is a strike to who he is. You have removed every external verification that he is succeeding in one of his primal roles.
As a perfectionist myself, I jumped through "all the hoops" through the years, seeking good grades, good college, awards, recognitions, as milestones on my road to perfection. When I became a mother, I took care of my children the best I could, continually subconsciously and consciously comparing myself to other mothers as a measure of my "success". I would watch an amazing mother and feel inferior; watch one for failings (shallow, I know) and then feel better about myself. For years, with most external measurements (barring the occasional melt-down in the supermarket) I was doing alright.
Then, one day, I was unable to keep my child alive. I had failed to measure up on the most fundamental level...my child had died. I was the one who was driving; I was the one responsible for his safety; and he had died. Not by intent, of course, but because I wasn’t perfect enough to prevent it from happening. I mean, come on! Even the worst mothers normally provide an environment with enough nutrition and roof over their heads to allow for life! It was then that I was brutally confronted with the fact that I had failed in something that was primal to my nature, much like my friend’s husband.
The months of self-hatred and loathing that followed were not healthy, I’m sure. The years previous where I had been selfishly "depressed", preoccupied with my own happiness and perfection, were a pathetic comparison to what I was feeling then. I realized that, if one truly does not like oneself, one will not seek other’s pity, time, or compassion...they are more than you feel like you deserve or merit. Even to remove myself from the picture was unacceptable, considering that the loss and anguish that would be suffered by those close to me if I should take such a step. Again...it would be selfish. Living through these months of self-denial and lack of acceptance of who I was purged much of the selfish depression that had plagued me for years. I realized that if I truly did not like myself, I wouldn’t make myself a burden to those around me. And, having torn away the facade of who I was and who I thought I was, I felt almost self-less, living for those around me. Remarkably, part of the miracle was that I was healed by doing so. By literally losing myself in reaching out to others, I was healed in a pure and remarkable way.
Not only that, having lost all my external tokens of success, I was able to face the fact that I, on my own, would never "jump through enough hoops", achieve enough accolades to earn salvation, earn that "perfection" that I saw at the end of my road. I knew that I had to depend completely upon my Savior, Jesus Christ, for perfection in a very real way. I had deluded myself for years that if I just worked hard enough, I could work my way back to heaven by presenting a lengthy list of all of the things I had accomplished. I knew, now, how empty those external measurements were...for if they were true, there was no hope for me, a perfectionist.
I still remember the day in March a year after my son died, when I knelt in prayer, unable to try to reason through the "whys" or "why nots" anymore. I simply said, "Here I am. I don’t know if You can love me, but here I am" I cannot describe the peace I felt, contrasted so vividly with the torment I was wracked with before that. It was truly the peace that surpasseth understanding mentioned in my canon of scriptures. My God accepted me on a fundamental level for who I was. He was looking at the state of my soul, not the list of my achievements.
So now, it is easier to let go of the fluff, the extras. When I start getting caught up again in trying to prove myself to others, I look at that picture of my son and realize how empty that is. Then I can more easily prayerfully look at my day and do what needs to be done, and I find peace...I find joy, inexplicable joy, for I know that once again, and daily, my God accepts me and my proverbial widow’s mite. I am enough.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
stewardship...
A thought about stewardship. It is my understanding that we will one day be held accountable for our stewardship. Locke also believed this in the sense that he claimed that we have no right to more property than we can properly use, that, in fact, it is through the wise use of resources that gives us claim to those resources that, ultimately, are common to all.
I have been thinking a great deal about this lately. I have too much stuff. Maybe I am the only one out there with that problem, but I find myself anxious as I look around me and see it cluttering around. “I’m sure I’ll use it someday!” is the typical justification I say to myself, and, often have done just that. However, I think this anxious feeling goes back to a fundamental realization that I am losing my property as I neglect it...losing it to deterioration or perhaps even losing it’s location :).
I have just recently taken over “stewardship” of our chickens from our 11 year old who was forgetting to water and care for them as often as I thought was healthy, and this morning, as I was doing it, felt a sublime sense of satisfaction. I wondered at this, in light of the fact that I feel like I have very little time, perhaps another complaint I share with others :). I realized that, for the first time since we got the chickens, I was taking care of them directly, completely. My hitherto unfulfilled sense of stewardship over the chickens was being satisfied!
So back to the problem with possessions– when I am not taking proper care of my possessions (sorting, organizing, etc.) I feel a fundamental struggle with, what I feel, is a primal need to care for things in my possession.... my property. When I do not show proper stewardship over something, I am losing it or at least my right to it in a very fundamental sense. You can see this in the slow deterioration of something due to neglect over time.
Now, let us say that I have “hired” or “appointed” someone to help care for that item in my stewardship. I am, in a very real sense, in bondage to them, dependent upon them to maintain it. I am watching “Ghandi” right now, and, again in a very real sense, the British began to realize that they were beholden to the Indian people for their property. Let’s look at it from another angle. Let’s say that I am a child who has been given a present. I leave it around the house, never caring for it. My mom begins to feel frustrated with me and nags me. I am frustrated as well, however, I am beginning to think it is not just because my mom nags me...it is because, again, on a fundamental level, I know that I am in bondage to her because she is helping take care of my property, and, in time, I will lose the right to that. If she is the one that cares for it, I sense that it is becoming hers, and I am dependent upon her, at this time, to own it.
So when I have too many things and require the unpredictable or unwilling help of others to help maintain those things, I feel in bondage to them, for I am!
It makes me consider: what things are fundamentally important to me? What is required to maintain them? If I am using all my time to maintain my belongings and not just what I truly need, I get bogged down, upset, stressed.
I find that, like the chickens, things that are valuable give us feelings of satisfaction upon completion, as our spirit recognizes what is truly needful. I am beginning to think that that is the best way to go...and the rest can go to the local “donation location” :).
I do believe that when we can have shared stewardship of things with others, the load is lifted, but that is a topic for another day...any thoughts, you genius friends and family?
I have been thinking a great deal about this lately. I have too much stuff. Maybe I am the only one out there with that problem, but I find myself anxious as I look around me and see it cluttering around. “I’m sure I’ll use it someday!” is the typical justification I say to myself, and, often have done just that. However, I think this anxious feeling goes back to a fundamental realization that I am losing my property as I neglect it...losing it to deterioration or perhaps even losing it’s location :).
I have just recently taken over “stewardship” of our chickens from our 11 year old who was forgetting to water and care for them as often as I thought was healthy, and this morning, as I was doing it, felt a sublime sense of satisfaction. I wondered at this, in light of the fact that I feel like I have very little time, perhaps another complaint I share with others :). I realized that, for the first time since we got the chickens, I was taking care of them directly, completely. My hitherto unfulfilled sense of stewardship over the chickens was being satisfied!
So back to the problem with possessions– when I am not taking proper care of my possessions (sorting, organizing, etc.) I feel a fundamental struggle with, what I feel, is a primal need to care for things in my possession.... my property. When I do not show proper stewardship over something, I am losing it or at least my right to it in a very fundamental sense. You can see this in the slow deterioration of something due to neglect over time.
Now, let us say that I have “hired” or “appointed” someone to help care for that item in my stewardship. I am, in a very real sense, in bondage to them, dependent upon them to maintain it. I am watching “Ghandi” right now, and, again in a very real sense, the British began to realize that they were beholden to the Indian people for their property. Let’s look at it from another angle. Let’s say that I am a child who has been given a present. I leave it around the house, never caring for it. My mom begins to feel frustrated with me and nags me. I am frustrated as well, however, I am beginning to think it is not just because my mom nags me...it is because, again, on a fundamental level, I know that I am in bondage to her because she is helping take care of my property, and, in time, I will lose the right to that. If she is the one that cares for it, I sense that it is becoming hers, and I am dependent upon her, at this time, to own it.
So when I have too many things and require the unpredictable or unwilling help of others to help maintain those things, I feel in bondage to them, for I am!
It makes me consider: what things are fundamentally important to me? What is required to maintain them? If I am using all my time to maintain my belongings and not just what I truly need, I get bogged down, upset, stressed.
I find that, like the chickens, things that are valuable give us feelings of satisfaction upon completion, as our spirit recognizes what is truly needful. I am beginning to think that that is the best way to go...and the rest can go to the local “donation location” :).
I do believe that when we can have shared stewardship of things with others, the load is lifted, but that is a topic for another day...any thoughts, you genius friends and family?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Homeschooling=lessons of life
I came across this quote today and was impressed with it's accuracy.
"The difference between school and life is in school you learn a lesson, then take a test. Life is a test that teaches you a lesson."
How many times have I heard other homeschooling parents say, "Of course it (cooking, store trips, cleaning, lively debates with a sibling or parent, etc) is a homeschooling subject. We are 'learning' about life!"
"The difference between school and life is in school you learn a lesson, then take a test. Life is a test that teaches you a lesson."
How many times have I heard other homeschooling parents say, "Of course it (cooking, store trips, cleaning, lively debates with a sibling or parent, etc) is a homeschooling subject. We are 'learning' about life!"
The Salt Lake TJEd Forum
This is an amazing opportunity for homeschooler and others alike to attend life-changing seminars on life, mission, education, motherhood, fatherhood, elocution...to name a few. There are always too many classes for me to choose from. Check out the weblink on this section of my blog. They will be posting the classes and registration soon!
They also have some fabulous teen classes that have covered things like finding the royalty in themselves, how to succeed, money smarts, etc. The instructors of the youth are all amazing, engaging, and dynamic. It is rewarding for the youth to not only attend the classes, but also be together with other, striving youth in this charged atmosphere.
A family ball is held that night. This is something my children look forward to all year long. A live band provides some fun, true dancing music, and the atmosphere is elegant, yet family friendly. There are little girls and boys in suits and ball gowns, young men and women mostly modestly attired and capable dancers, and old folks like me who have fun dancing with one and all in my less-than-skilled fashion. Fathers dancing with babes in arms, mothers dancing with 11 year old boys, and fathers taking their young lady daughter on his arm are all images that I treasure from this. My Lily (age 6) has danced literally the whole night with one or two young men...last year she and a nice 10 year old danced every dance that they didn't need to rush out for a drink or a potty break, holding hands, and wobbling back and forth--sometimes even in time to the music! :) Even Kel has been venturous and asked a couple fortunate young ladies, and Tova has been asked time and again, sometimes with the guidance of a loving father seeking out perspective partners to ask her. Old fashioned values, music, and modesty are all a part of this event!
They also have some fabulous teen classes that have covered things like finding the royalty in themselves, how to succeed, money smarts, etc. The instructors of the youth are all amazing, engaging, and dynamic. It is rewarding for the youth to not only attend the classes, but also be together with other, striving youth in this charged atmosphere.
A family ball is held that night. This is something my children look forward to all year long. A live band provides some fun, true dancing music, and the atmosphere is elegant, yet family friendly. There are little girls and boys in suits and ball gowns, young men and women mostly modestly attired and capable dancers, and old folks like me who have fun dancing with one and all in my less-than-skilled fashion. Fathers dancing with babes in arms, mothers dancing with 11 year old boys, and fathers taking their young lady daughter on his arm are all images that I treasure from this. My Lily (age 6) has danced literally the whole night with one or two young men...last year she and a nice 10 year old danced every dance that they didn't need to rush out for a drink or a potty break, holding hands, and wobbling back and forth--sometimes even in time to the music! :) Even Kel has been venturous and asked a couple fortunate young ladies, and Tova has been asked time and again, sometimes with the guidance of a loving father seeking out perspective partners to ask her. Old fashioned values, music, and modesty are all a part of this event!
The joyful mothers of the stripling warriors?
In reading Alma 55-57, I have been struck by the stripling warriors. They knew they would be protected if they were doing what was right, for they did not doubt but that their mothers knew it. It wasn’t that their mother’s just talked to them about it,...they saw that their mothers knew it. It made me think about what would it be about the mothers’ example that would provide strength to their sons while in the heat of battle, or facing a battle of overwhelming odds. It made me think that these women must have lived their lives with joy, in such a way that their sons saw them trusting God through tough times. If my children see me being miserable, depressed and complaining about all that is going wrong in my life, will they believe my words that my faith, my religion bring me happiness, joy and satisfaction? Would I not have to live my life in such a way that shows that?
Furthermore, as me and other women around us in society continue to show stress, depression, and anxiety in our roles as mothers, what sane young woman would look forward to raising her own children, if she decides to be a mother at all?
A few years ago, or maybe several, I realized that Sundays were not looked forward to at my house. My dear sister N.R. shared with me how she had come to the conclusion that her children could never enjoy going to church if all they saw was her stressing about going and stressing about being there! If they didn’t see the "why" of church through me who was getting them there, of course they wouldn’t share my enthusiasm and love of it! So I tried to smile more, let a few more things go, realizing that if they didn’t feel comfortable and at peace in church, they would not have a strong reason to go later in life when they were on their own, if they hadn’t developed their own personal strong conviction to go–which takes everyone different lengths of time! (And then, at least, they would be at church where they could gain their own conviction!) And something miraculous happened...I started having more joy at church! Sunday morning was no longer dreaded! We really have to show joy in what we are doing for our children to desire to do it themselves.
"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all
I think that everyone’s ways of slowing down and showing joy will look different. I just think, if we are really struggling to know how, we need to start simply. Just prayerfully consider one thing you can do, when you are feeling overwhelmed or when a child is tugging on your shirt, that will help you find joy and beauty in the world around you...the life you are living! Something that will fill you and rejuvenate you, not satisfy some addiction (food and sugar=me) and leave you feel anxious, ornery, and uptight.
I loved the scripture in Alma 57: 26 where it states: whosoever did not doubt, that they should be preserved by his marvelous power...and their minds are firm. How much do we truly believe what we believe?
Furthermore, as me and other women around us in society continue to show stress, depression, and anxiety in our roles as mothers, what sane young woman would look forward to raising her own children, if she decides to be a mother at all?
A few years ago, or maybe several, I realized that Sundays were not looked forward to at my house. My dear sister N.R. shared with me how she had come to the conclusion that her children could never enjoy going to church if all they saw was her stressing about going and stressing about being there! If they didn’t see the "why" of church through me who was getting them there, of course they wouldn’t share my enthusiasm and love of it! So I tried to smile more, let a few more things go, realizing that if they didn’t feel comfortable and at peace in church, they would not have a strong reason to go later in life when they were on their own, if they hadn’t developed their own personal strong conviction to go–which takes everyone different lengths of time! (And then, at least, they would be at church where they could gain their own conviction!) And something miraculous happened...I started having more joy at church! Sunday morning was no longer dreaded! We really have to show joy in what we are doing for our children to desire to do it themselves.
Ours is a gospel of peace, a gospel of joy. Of course, it will be difficult. Of course, there will be hard times. But like in "The Hiding Place", lasting peace and real joy can be found amidst affliction if we are looking for it. And our children need to know this, need to know there is some refuge from the storm and turbulence around them. They need to know how to find a few moments of quiet time in the day for rejuvenation and reflection. How can they do this if their day is planned from beginning to end for them? How can they do this if their primary care giver does nothing but fret and worry and run around like "a chicken with her head cut off", so to speak :)? Now, I am as guilty of this as anyone...this is just something I have been thinking about lately.
So, I have tried to take a deep breath,--when the house is in disarray, and the phone is demanding my attention, and I have over 180 email waiting to be checked (sorry to all of you...), --and sit down and read with my little ones; look out the window and allow myself to be caught up in the beauty of the day, and bring my kids over to share that; get down at my child’s level and look them in the eye when they are concerned about their stuffed rabbit and the ribbon that keeps falling off; laugh more; be a little crazy when I am going crazy so that I can remind myself that it is my choice to be in that frantic state :); sit down with company when they come; go outside and watch the sunset, the stars, the clouds, the trees moving in the wind. And somehow, everything else goes better. The house doesn’t seem so messy, the kids not so frantic, my self-imposed schedule not so demanding. After all, as C.S. Lewis put it,
So, I have tried to take a deep breath,--when the house is in disarray, and the phone is demanding my attention, and I have over 180 email waiting to be checked (sorry to all of you...), --and sit down and read with my little ones; look out the window and allow myself to be caught up in the beauty of the day, and bring my kids over to share that; get down at my child’s level and look them in the eye when they are concerned about their stuffed rabbit and the ribbon that keeps falling off; laugh more; be a little crazy when I am going crazy so that I can remind myself that it is my choice to be in that frantic state :); sit down with company when they come; go outside and watch the sunset, the stars, the clouds, the trees moving in the wind. And somehow, everything else goes better. The house doesn’t seem so messy, the kids not so frantic, my self-imposed schedule not so demanding. After all, as C.S. Lewis put it,
"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all
the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,'or 'real' life.
The truth is of course that what one
calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life--
the life God is sending one day by day."
I think that everyone’s ways of slowing down and showing joy will look different. I just think, if we are really struggling to know how, we need to start simply. Just prayerfully consider one thing you can do, when you are feeling overwhelmed or when a child is tugging on your shirt, that will help you find joy and beauty in the world around you...the life you are living! Something that will fill you and rejuvenate you, not satisfy some addiction (food and sugar=me) and leave you feel anxious, ornery, and uptight.
I loved the scripture in Alma 57: 26 where it states: whosoever did not doubt, that they should be preserved by his marvelous power...and their minds are firm. How much do we truly believe what we believe?
Books I use to teach
Little Britches--hard work, decency and honesty, family, classic farm mentality
All you Ever Need, by Lucado–the need to share God’s gifts to us with everyone, as freely as you can
You are Special–the special place of all of God’s children, despite failings, perceived or otherwise
The Apple-Pip Princess–the value of simplicity, differences, and decency, finding gifts despite being "ordinary"
Science Verse–A bunch of poems that touch on different scientific ideas
Math Curse–this is full of fun applications of mathematical concepts
Pig, Pigger, Piggest–it’s the "good, better, best" way to teach superlatives!
Crispin, the Pig who had everything--gratitude, the wonder of imagination and creativity
Book of Virtues--everything about anything important in life! :)
The Happy Dromedary--pursuing and finding your unique role, de-values peer criticism
Sarah Jane’s Very Best Story Ever–book that reinforces the core principles of my religion
The Giving Tree–sacrifice, true love
A Year With Miss Agnes–joy of learning, value of unique gifts, different learning styles
The Whipping Boy–qualities of true and decent leadership: born position vs. inherent qualities
The Door in the Wall–the ability to rise above anything, value of unique talents
Chasing Vermeer–the value of art, free-thinking in school
Seven Wonders of Sassafrass Springs–finding wonder in the "everyday" world around you
Princess Academy–leadership, friendship, integrity
Little Women-ideal family life, simple goodness
No Room for a Sneeze-appreciation/gratitude
Heidi–simplicity, decency, goodness
The Giver–the role of government and rules in society
The Alchemist–integrity and determination in pursuing your unique mission
C.S.Lewis books–true principles and perspective on God and society
Laddie–"a portrait of life as is should be" as quoted from Claudia
The Red Scarf Girl–a look at Communist China and the impact of the Cultural revolution on a young girl
The Oak and the Acorn (?) by Max Lucado–how everyone’s gifts/missions are different, but no less important
The Canada Geese Quilt–family love and sacrifice, death
The Phantom Tollbooth–fun mathematical concepts to explore
All you Ever Need, by Lucado–the need to share God’s gifts to us with everyone, as freely as you can
You are Special–the special place of all of God’s children, despite failings, perceived or otherwise
The Apple-Pip Princess–the value of simplicity, differences, and decency, finding gifts despite being "ordinary"
Science Verse–A bunch of poems that touch on different scientific ideas
Math Curse–this is full of fun applications of mathematical concepts
Pig, Pigger, Piggest–it’s the "good, better, best" way to teach superlatives!
Crispin, the Pig who had everything--gratitude, the wonder of imagination and creativity
Book of Virtues--everything about anything important in life! :)
The Happy Dromedary--pursuing and finding your unique role, de-values peer criticism
Sarah Jane’s Very Best Story Ever–book that reinforces the core principles of my religion
The Giving Tree–sacrifice, true love
A Year With Miss Agnes–joy of learning, value of unique gifts, different learning styles
The Whipping Boy–qualities of true and decent leadership: born position vs. inherent qualities
The Door in the Wall–the ability to rise above anything, value of unique talents
Chasing Vermeer–the value of art, free-thinking in school
Seven Wonders of Sassafrass Springs–finding wonder in the "everyday" world around you
Princess Academy–leadership, friendship, integrity
Little Women-ideal family life, simple goodness
No Room for a Sneeze-appreciation/gratitude
Heidi–simplicity, decency, goodness
The Giver–the role of government and rules in society
The Alchemist–integrity and determination in pursuing your unique mission
C.S.Lewis books–true principles and perspective on God and society
Laddie–"a portrait of life as is should be" as quoted from Claudia
The Red Scarf Girl–a look at Communist China and the impact of the Cultural revolution on a young girl
The Oak and the Acorn (?) by Max Lucado–how everyone’s gifts/missions are different, but no less important
The Canada Geese Quilt–family love and sacrifice, death
The Phantom Tollbooth–fun mathematical concepts to explore
Groups I've Created/Mentored
This this is just FYI. I only support or use the ones I need when I need them so I have never had them all going at the same time. Also, I also only am able to do any of these due to the amazing women (and men!) that I work with, who contribute untold hours to the success of these different groups. Most of them are set up to run on a very low-maintenance, high-inspiration system to prevent "burn-out" :). My intention is to have social/peer (meaning other homeschooling kids of all ages) groups available for every stage of my child's education.
Small and Simple things: An adult book group designed to help unlock the keys to a simple, meaningful life through the study of classics
Knights of Freedom: A book/activity group for 8-12 year old boys that meets weekly
Dream Catcher’s Club/Promise Club: Club for girls 9-11 to learn monthly virtues through books and activities, learn skills in homemaking and etiquette, and have monthly opportunities for service.
Princess club: Club for girls 6-9 to help them learn monthly virtues through children’s books, activities, free time, coloring time (with reading going on), and "tea" party time.
Children’s Choir: a low-cost alternative for families to come together and sing entertaining, educational, and spiritual songs and learn them for performance.
Young Actor’s Guild: An acting group for youth 5-14+ to put together, rehearse, and perform plays (some Shakespeare)plays: The Hobbit, Without a Constitution, The 5 Dancing Princesses, The Candy Shop play, Taming of the Shrew, A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Science Class: teach high school science to 12 + using Apologia Science, while other amazing women hold hand's-on science classes for my younger children. I knew that generic biology degree would come in handy someday! :)
Mission Minded Mom’s breakfast: a somewhat quarterly time for women to come together and share their successes and frustrations as they fulfill their personal missions and gain encouragement from others. A potluck breakfast is enjoyed.
Vanguard Youth: A group for 12+ to teach science/math, leadership/constitution, geography/culture, service and entrepreneur classes.
Joy Lunch Club: This is a group I have started on my own in my local community with the purpose of bring women together to "find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood". We bring whatever scraggly left-over we were going to have for that day, meet at my less-than-catalog house for one hour once a month, and share our experiences of the past month, uplift and edify one another with quotes and songs we have thought of or that have impressed us, and seek greater determination to do the above quote. Super low-maintenance, and joy-filled!
Small and Simple things: An adult book group designed to help unlock the keys to a simple, meaningful life through the study of classics
Knights of Freedom: A book/activity group for 8-12 year old boys that meets weekly
Dream Catcher’s Club/Promise Club: Club for girls 9-11 to learn monthly virtues through books and activities, learn skills in homemaking and etiquette, and have monthly opportunities for service.
Princess club: Club for girls 6-9 to help them learn monthly virtues through children’s books, activities, free time, coloring time (with reading going on), and "tea" party time.
Children’s Choir: a low-cost alternative for families to come together and sing entertaining, educational, and spiritual songs and learn them for performance.
Young Actor’s Guild: An acting group for youth 5-14+ to put together, rehearse, and perform plays (some Shakespeare)plays: The Hobbit, Without a Constitution, The 5 Dancing Princesses, The Candy Shop play, Taming of the Shrew, A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Science Class: teach high school science to 12 + using Apologia Science, while other amazing women hold hand's-on science classes for my younger children. I knew that generic biology degree would come in handy someday! :)
Mission Minded Mom’s breakfast: a somewhat quarterly time for women to come together and share their successes and frustrations as they fulfill their personal missions and gain encouragement from others. A potluck breakfast is enjoyed.
Vanguard Youth: A group for 12+ to teach science/math, leadership/constitution, geography/culture, service and entrepreneur classes.
Joy Lunch Club: This is a group I have started on my own in my local community with the purpose of bring women together to "find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood". We bring whatever scraggly left-over we were going to have for that day, meet at my less-than-catalog house for one hour once a month, and share our experiences of the past month, uplift and edify one another with quotes and songs we have thought of or that have impressed us, and seek greater determination to do the above quote. Super low-maintenance, and joy-filled!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Letter to my city planning commission
Just thought I would post this for kicks...the man sat in front of us and made it quite clear that he had no obligation to hear anything we had to say to him...then or ever! Hmmmm....in a public office?
"I am writing with regards to the meeting I attended two Thursdays ago, in which the proposal for the new junior high was presented by the school district.
I was concerned that you, also a citizen of my town, would feel so threatened by the peers of your community that– despite the council of your fellow commissioners– would first, take the opportunity to arrogantly throw your authority around; second, grudgingly allow for public comment once it had been established that public comment could in fact be heard; and third, reinstate your authority following the time for public comment, even going so far as to deliberately diminish the issues that were brought up by the public.
In light of this behavior, I would like to take a few moments to address my concerns.
First, any position in healthy government, whether appointed or otherwise, is responsible ultimately to those their decisions impact; even in a monarchy. (The root of the work "king" itself denotes "servant", interestingly enough.) Perhaps there is such thing as a "natural aristocracy", as Plato and Jefferson propose, and as you seemed to believe, with your superior air. However, reading further into their works, it is clearly established that is not something an individual gains by appointment; rather something they exhibit through their deportment.
I have no doubt that you feel that you have state statutes as well as local statutes to validate the autonomy of the decisions of the council. However, the manner of your delivery reflected one of defensiveness with an intent to belittle those who had expressed an interest in the proceedings by their attendance. Perhaps you were just having a bad day.
I don’t think any of us in attendance thought that we would be able to have any type of voting power in that situation. We simply wanted to make sure all of the facts had been addressed and considered. Any good leader recognizes that they by themselves do not have the ability to consider any situation from every angle, and welcomes others who feel that they might have information to help them make a more educated decision. I appreciated the reminder given to "the public" to not simply restate the concerns already mentioned and waste the council’s time, and thought "the public" did an admirable job considering the obviously grudging consent to speak you gave them.
When your fellow commissioner asked what venue the concerned public had to voice their concerns to you, you gave no email, no recommendation to contact you or the council at a different time: you simply reinstated your right to not have to listen to anyone outside of the commission. This reflects a disturbingly narrow-minded mentality. Your defensiveness was further established when there was actually time set aside for public comment within the agenda of the meeting; yet no indication was made of this open forum at the time referred to above in this paragraph.
May I make a recommendation? If you would seek to perpetuate your role in any type of leadership position, perhaps you could benefit by the reading and application of some books designed to help in situations such as these: "Leadership and Self-Deception" by the Arbinger Institute, Covey’s "Seven Habits of Highly Effective people" (with special consideration to the sections on "synergy" and "interdependence"), and "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Carnegie.
Any healthy government should seek for the good of both the individual as well as the community. Of course this is a delicate balance between extreme socialism (exclusive good of the community) verses extreme capitalism (exclusive good of the individual). In this situation, I appreciate the intent of the council that was demonstrated to both seek the good of the community in establishing a junior high in west Kaysville as well as consider the impact on the local population. I would simply ask you to reflect upon your behavior towards your peers here in your community. No official in our government is so far removed from the people that they are not ultimately accountable to them.
I thank you for your time and consideration.
"I am writing with regards to the meeting I attended two Thursdays ago, in which the proposal for the new junior high was presented by the school district.
I was concerned that you, also a citizen of my town, would feel so threatened by the peers of your community that– despite the council of your fellow commissioners– would first, take the opportunity to arrogantly throw your authority around; second, grudgingly allow for public comment once it had been established that public comment could in fact be heard; and third, reinstate your authority following the time for public comment, even going so far as to deliberately diminish the issues that were brought up by the public.
In light of this behavior, I would like to take a few moments to address my concerns.
First, any position in healthy government, whether appointed or otherwise, is responsible ultimately to those their decisions impact; even in a monarchy. (The root of the work "king" itself denotes "servant", interestingly enough.) Perhaps there is such thing as a "natural aristocracy", as Plato and Jefferson propose, and as you seemed to believe, with your superior air. However, reading further into their works, it is clearly established that is not something an individual gains by appointment; rather something they exhibit through their deportment.
I have no doubt that you feel that you have state statutes as well as local statutes to validate the autonomy of the decisions of the council. However, the manner of your delivery reflected one of defensiveness with an intent to belittle those who had expressed an interest in the proceedings by their attendance. Perhaps you were just having a bad day.
I don’t think any of us in attendance thought that we would be able to have any type of voting power in that situation. We simply wanted to make sure all of the facts had been addressed and considered. Any good leader recognizes that they by themselves do not have the ability to consider any situation from every angle, and welcomes others who feel that they might have information to help them make a more educated decision. I appreciated the reminder given to "the public" to not simply restate the concerns already mentioned and waste the council’s time, and thought "the public" did an admirable job considering the obviously grudging consent to speak you gave them.
When your fellow commissioner asked what venue the concerned public had to voice their concerns to you, you gave no email, no recommendation to contact you or the council at a different time: you simply reinstated your right to not have to listen to anyone outside of the commission. This reflects a disturbingly narrow-minded mentality. Your defensiveness was further established when there was actually time set aside for public comment within the agenda of the meeting; yet no indication was made of this open forum at the time referred to above in this paragraph.
May I make a recommendation? If you would seek to perpetuate your role in any type of leadership position, perhaps you could benefit by the reading and application of some books designed to help in situations such as these: "Leadership and Self-Deception" by the Arbinger Institute, Covey’s "Seven Habits of Highly Effective people" (with special consideration to the sections on "synergy" and "interdependence"), and "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Carnegie.
Any healthy government should seek for the good of both the individual as well as the community. Of course this is a delicate balance between extreme socialism (exclusive good of the community) verses extreme capitalism (exclusive good of the individual). In this situation, I appreciate the intent of the council that was demonstrated to both seek the good of the community in establishing a junior high in west Kaysville as well as consider the impact on the local population. I would simply ask you to reflect upon your behavior towards your peers here in your community. No official in our government is so far removed from the people that they are not ultimately accountable to them.
I thank you for your time and consideration.
Humanity
"The tendency to avoid challenge is so omnipreset in human beings that it can properly be considered a characteristic of human nature. But calling it natural does not mean it is essential or beneficial or unchangeable behavior. It is also natural to defecate in our pants and never brush our teeth. Yet we teach ourselves to do the unnatural until the unnatural becomes itself second nature. Indeed, all self-discipline might be defined as teaching ourselves to do the unnatural. Another characteristic of human nature--perhaps the one that makes us most human--is our capacity to do the unnatural, to transcend and hence transform our own nature."--pg 53 "Road Less Traveled" Peck
Thursday, November 19, 2009
personal "Math" classics
The Scriptures (see my definition of math :)...)
A Beginner’s Guide to Constructing the Universe
Flatland
String, Straight-edge, and Shadow
The Warlord children’s picture book series
An Introduction to Mathematics
Euclid
Mere Christianity, Lewis
The Road Less Traveled, Peck
Walden
A Beginner’s Guide to Constructing the Universe
Flatland
String, Straight-edge, and Shadow
The Warlord children’s picture book series
An Introduction to Mathematics
Euclid
Mere Christianity, Lewis
The Road Less Traveled, Peck
Walden
math=the art of wonder!
My definition of "math"= The pursuit of Truth...the art of wonder.
In ancient times, "philosophers"sought to find truth and consistency in the world around them, seeking order and patterns, like the rotation of the seasons, the life cycle of a tree, etc. This was considered the study of mathematics. It included the study of astronomy, music, and others as well as the acceptable "math" subjects of today: geometry and arithmetic. The world around them was studied and observed and observations became hypothesis, theory and then a few of them achieved the status of "laws". They did not limit their study to anything, finding consistency and patterns in things from cooking, to astronomy, to religion, to accounting.
I love the passage in the LDS Doctrine & Covenants 88: 77-80, 118 (see also my posting of "Science and religion"):
We are limiting our understanding of the world by not encouraging the "why", the wonder of observation, and the marvel of discovering patterns and connections all around, what I like to call "ah-hahs!" on every level. From a child's delight at finding a bud poking out of the ground that they planted the winter before or the difference between snowflakes as they seek to find two that are identical, to the years of study that yielded the concept of calculus...these are all connected and valid paths to the pursuit of truth, ...if they are allowed to blossom.
Thus, it is with heavy heart and frustration that I hear the ever-growing cry, "I hate math!" and realize that the art of wonder is being lost.
In ancient times, "philosophers"sought to find truth and consistency in the world around them, seeking order and patterns, like the rotation of the seasons, the life cycle of a tree, etc. This was considered the study of mathematics. It included the study of astronomy, music, and others as well as the acceptable "math" subjects of today: geometry and arithmetic. The world around them was studied and observed and observations became hypothesis, theory and then a few of them achieved the status of "laws". They did not limit their study to anything, finding consistency and patterns in things from cooking, to astronomy, to religion, to accounting.
I love the passage in the LDS Doctrine & Covenants 88: 77-80, 118 (see also my posting of "Science and religion"):
Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;
Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms–
That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you,
and the MISSION with which I have commissioned you...
As and all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another
words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom;
seek learning even by study and also by faith.
The problem with today's mathematics is that we are feeding the "laws" to our children without helping them through the marvelous process of observation, the "why" of what mathematics is all about...and then we wring our hands in frustration as they don't seem to grasp the little tricks we have been taught to manipulate these laws!...crazy.Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms–
That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you,
and the MISSION with which I have commissioned you...
As and all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another
words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom;
seek learning even by study and also by faith.
We are limiting our understanding of the world by not encouraging the "why", the wonder of observation, and the marvel of discovering patterns and connections all around, what I like to call "ah-hahs!" on every level. From a child's delight at finding a bud poking out of the ground that they planted the winter before or the difference between snowflakes as they seek to find two that are identical, to the years of study that yielded the concept of calculus...these are all connected and valid paths to the pursuit of truth, ...if they are allowed to blossom.
Thus, it is with heavy heart and frustration that I hear the ever-growing cry, "I hate math!" and realize that the art of wonder is being lost.
Science and Religion
"Scientific Tradition: Methodology–
"In it’s laudable insistence upon experience, accurate observation and verifiability, science has placed great emphasis upon measurement. To measure something is to experience it in a certain dimension *see Flatland!*, a dimension in which we can make observations of great accuracy which are repeatable by others. The use of measurement has enabled science to make enormous strides in the understanding of the material universe. But by virtue of its success, measurement has become a kind of scientific idol. The result is an attitude on the part of many scientist of not only skepticism but outright rejection of what cannot be measured. It is as if they were to say, "What we cannot measure, we cannot know; there is no point in worrying about what we cannot know; therefore, what cannot be measured is unimportant and unworthy of our observation." Because of this attitude many scientists exclude from their serious consideration all matters that are–or seem to be–intangible. Including, of course, the matter of God." (Pg 226, The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck)
"This beginning possibility of unification of religion and science is the most significant and exciting happening in our intellectual life today. But it is only just beginning. For the most part both the religious and the scientific remain in self-imposed narrow frames of reference, each still largely blinded by its own particular type of tunnel vision. Examine, for instance, the behavior of both in regard to the questions of miracles. Even the idea of a miracle is anathema to most scientists. Over the past four hundred years or so science has elucidated a number of "natural laws", such as "Two objects attract each other in proportion to their mass and in inverse proportion to the distance between them" or "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed." But having been successful in discovering natural laws, scientists in their world view have made an idol out of the concept of natural law, just as they made an idol out of the notion of measurement. The result is that any event that cannot be explained by currently understood natural law is assumed to be unreal by the scientific establishment. In regard to methodology, science has tended to say, "What is very difficult to study doesn’t merit study." And in regard to natural law, science tends to say, "What is very difficult to understand doesn’t exist." (The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck, pg 228)
"In it’s laudable insistence upon experience, accurate observation and verifiability, science has placed great emphasis upon measurement. To measure something is to experience it in a certain dimension *see Flatland!*, a dimension in which we can make observations of great accuracy which are repeatable by others. The use of measurement has enabled science to make enormous strides in the understanding of the material universe. But by virtue of its success, measurement has become a kind of scientific idol. The result is an attitude on the part of many scientist of not only skepticism but outright rejection of what cannot be measured. It is as if they were to say, "What we cannot measure, we cannot know; there is no point in worrying about what we cannot know; therefore, what cannot be measured is unimportant and unworthy of our observation." Because of this attitude many scientists exclude from their serious consideration all matters that are–or seem to be–intangible. Including, of course, the matter of God." (Pg 226, The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck)
"This beginning possibility of unification of religion and science is the most significant and exciting happening in our intellectual life today. But it is only just beginning. For the most part both the religious and the scientific remain in self-imposed narrow frames of reference, each still largely blinded by its own particular type of tunnel vision. Examine, for instance, the behavior of both in regard to the questions of miracles. Even the idea of a miracle is anathema to most scientists. Over the past four hundred years or so science has elucidated a number of "natural laws", such as "Two objects attract each other in proportion to their mass and in inverse proportion to the distance between them" or "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed." But having been successful in discovering natural laws, scientists in their world view have made an idol out of the concept of natural law, just as they made an idol out of the notion of measurement. The result is that any event that cannot be explained by currently understood natural law is assumed to be unreal by the scientific establishment. In regard to methodology, science has tended to say, "What is very difficult to study doesn’t merit study." And in regard to natural law, science tends to say, "What is very difficult to understand doesn’t exist." (The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck, pg 228)
There was an old lady who swallowed...
I had a thought last night as I read "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" to my children and initiated a little discussion. That old lady was continually consuming larger and larger animals in order to "take care of the problem". Now did she tackle that fatal horse right up front? Of course not! It would be to formidable! However, she gradually kept allowing the problem to get more and more out of hand, even in the face of reason.
It reminded me of my life, and how, sometimes, I feel that in order to solve that problem that is in front of me, or "fix" things or myself, I need to continually do more and more, bigger and better. What if I just digested the problem (aka the fly) and moved on with my life? Do we gradually fill our lives with bigger and bigger things, thinking, "oh, it’s just a little more time" or "oh, my children need just a little more....in their schedule" (you fill in the blank), until we are all ambling about awkwardly chasing that proverbial horse, determined to do "just one more thing"!
It reminded me of my life, and how, sometimes, I feel that in order to solve that problem that is in front of me, or "fix" things or myself, I need to continually do more and more, bigger and better. What if I just digested the problem (aka the fly) and moved on with my life? Do we gradually fill our lives with bigger and bigger things, thinking, "oh, it’s just a little more time" or "oh, my children need just a little more....in their schedule" (you fill in the blank), until we are all ambling about awkwardly chasing that proverbial horse, determined to do "just one more thing"!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Empowering quotes, etc.
Elder M. Russell Ballard (Ensign, Nov. 2008): The challenges we face today are just different, but no less demanding. The Lord isn’t asking us to load up a hand cart; He’s asking us to fortify our faith. He isn’t asking us to walk across a continent; He’s asking us to walk across the street to visit our neighbor. He isn’t asking us to give all of our worldly possessions to build a temple. He’s asking us to give of our means and our time despite the pressures of modern living to continue to build temples and then to attend regularly the temples already built. He isn’t asking us to die a martyr’s death; He’s asking us to live a disciple’s life.
I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
"Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.
And he replied,
"Go into the darkness and put your hand in the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!"
So I went forth and finding the Hand of God
Trod gladly into the night
He led me towards the hills
And the breaking of day in the lone east.
So heart be still!
I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
"Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.
And he replied,
"Go into the darkness and put your hand in the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!"
So I went forth and finding the Hand of God
Trod gladly into the night
He led me towards the hills
And the breaking of day in the lone east.
So heart be still!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Nelson Mandela
We might as well have been born in some other...dispensation, unless we can feel that we have a mission in Zion. We are living to be Saints. (Eliza R. Snow, as quoted in Dew, pg. 203)
We need to get a celestial education and share it with others along the way.
Jesus taught that each of us should exhibit an active love and benevolence towards every one of His Father’s children.
I want to be my children’s greatest cheerleader, not their greatest critic.
I want to fill their lives, hearts, and dreams with love and confidence, not doubt and insecurity.
What I say reaches their soul--
What a gift, what a privilege,...
what a responsibility.
“Our only confidence can be in God; our only wisdom obtained from Him; and He alone must be our protector and safeguard, spiritually and temporally, or we fall.” (Joseph Smith, Teachings of, pg 161)
FAVORITE SCRIPTURES
Be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you. (D&C 61:36)
Be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom of heaven is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours. (D&C 78:18)
Ether 12:4
Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the
souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.
Romans 8:16
The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God.
D&C 5:34
Yea, for this cause I have said: Stop, and stand still until I command thee, and I will provide means whereby thou mayest accomplish the thing which I have commanded thee.
D&C 123:17
Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
James 1:27 : “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”
Psalm 23
2 Nephi 4
D&C 84:88
Mosiah 18:12
“O Lord, pour out thy Spirit upon thy servant, that (she) may do this work with holiness of heart.”
1 Nephi 19:9
And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught: wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.
Mosiah 4:14-15
And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another...But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.
FAVORITE POEMS/SAYINGS
A Mother’s Prayer
Oh give me patience when tiny hands
Tug at me with their small demands
And give me gently and smiling eyes;
Keep my lips from sharp replies.
And let no fatigue, confusion, or noise
Obscure my vision of life’s fleeting joys,
So when, years later, my house is still–
No bitter memories its room may fill.
Author Unknown
Alexander Pope Quote
’Tis education forms the common mind: Just as the twig is bent the tree’s inclined.
It is our duty to make the world better for our having been in it
The question, then, is: Which will give the more abundant life–pampering our physical nature or developing our spiritual selves? Is not that the real problem? –Heber J. Grant
Come unto me,” the Savior said, “all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt 11:28) So you come unto Christ to be yoked with Him and with His power, so that you’re not pulling life’s load alone. You’re pulling life’s load yoked with the Savior and Redeemer of the world, and suddenly your problems, no matter how serious they are, become lighter. That’s what we mean by coming unto Christ, being yoked to Him. (Elder Nelson, Ens. June 2005, pg 18)
“Every noble impulse; every unselfish expression of love; every brave suffering for the right; every surrender of self to something higher than self; every loyalty to an ideal; every unselfish devotion to principle; every helpfulness to humanity; every act of self-control; every fine courage of the soul, undefeated by pretense or policy, but by being, doing, and living of good for the very good’s sake–that is spirituality.” Heber J. Grant
“The man who...[has] in mind making better the world in which he lives, desiring to contribute to the happiness of his family and his fellows. And who does all things for the glory of God, will, to the extent that he denies himself for these ideals, develop his spirituality.” Heber J. Grant
What are we working for? Wealth? Riches? If we have embraced the gospel of Jesus Christ, then we are working for eternal life...It is far better if it is possible for us to start the children out in the battle fo life with nothing recorded on the pages of their years, except good deeds and faith-promoting thoughts.
[I] hope that parents will realize that the example of integrity, of devotion, of loyalty to the Gospel, and the disposition not to find fault, but to labor diligently and unceasingly for the advancement of truth, it a marvelous heritage to leave to their children. –David O. McKay
Contend not with others, but pursue a steady course–
Gordon B. Hinckley
LEST WE FORGET
She came tonight as I sat alone
The girl that I used to be...
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully.
Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes that I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame
All wonderful things to do.
Where is the mansion of stately height
With all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels for your hair?
And as she spoke, I was very sad,
For I wanted her pleased with me...
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl I used to be.
So gently arising, I took her hand,
And guided her up the stair
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet and fair.
And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me;
That silken robe is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.
And my mansion of stately height is Love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltering walls
For the dear ones who come and go.
And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me;
And I saw that the woman that I am now
Pleased the girl that I used to be.
Rowena K. Lewis
Horror gripped the heart of the World War I soldier as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he might go out into the No Man's Land" between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back. “You can go,"said the Lieutenant, “but I don't think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your own life away.”
The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder, and bring him back to their company's trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend. “I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. Your friend is dead, and you are mortally wounded.”
“It was worth it, though, sir," the soldier said.
“How do you mean, worth it?'" responded the Lieutenant. Your friend is dead!"
“Yes sir," the private answered. “But it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive, and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say, ‘Jim, I knew you'd come.‘”
"This Little Light of Mine" Editor: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Barry Spilchuk
Quotes from “A Discussion with Russell M. Nelson”: “What counsel would you give people who wish they were more committed but find it difficult?” His answer: “Those people need to have a little private time and ask themselves what they really want in life. Is it entertainment? Is it wealth? Is it fame? They need to decide what they really want to accomplish. No runner ever starting a race would ever start without knowing whether he’s doing a hundred-yard dash or a marathon. Many people, in and out of the church, have not really named their objectives, what they want to accomplish more than any thing else. But once they have made the decision to be a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ, to emulate His example, to live according to His precepts, then their commitment is secure. That has to be done individually....
“Repentance is more than just undoing the wrongs you’ve done. It’s a whole change of your outlook on life. You want to think like the Lord. You want to talk like the Lord. You want to act like the Lord. You want to believe, you want to pray, you want to love the way the Lord does.”
A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, while the bearer delivered only one and a half pots of full water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day
by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself and because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all
the way back to your house."
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the
path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw and I
planted flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day while we walked back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace this house."
Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
Elder Robert Whetten (Ens. May 2005, pg. 91)
“Conversion means consecrating your life to caring for and serving others who need your help and sharing your gifts and blessings. The Lord didn’t say, “Tend my sheep when it is convenient; watch my sheep when you aren’t busy.” He said, “Feed my sheep and my lambs; help them survive this world; keep them close to you. Lead them to safety–the safety of righteous choices that will prepare them for eternal life”...Every unselfish act of kindness and service increases your spirituality. God would use you to bless others...In your journey through life, you are to reach out and bless the lives of your fellow travelers, to give of yourself to those who need you. “For whosoever will save his life,” the Master said, “shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.”
"I REALLY LIVED"
By Sister Marjorie Hinckley
"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
“It is not for you to be led by the women of the world; it is for you to lead...the women of the world, in everything that is praise-worthy, everything that is God-like, everything that is uplifting and that is purifying to the children of men.” (Joseph F. Smith, as quoted in No Doubt About It, Sheri Dew, pg. 43)
“Gordon B. Hinckley; “You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And that good that is in you must be spread to others.”“ (No Doubt About It, Sheri Dew, pg 3)
Ideally, the family is a place where we may safely retreat, where we may safely be vulnerable, where we develop resilience and replenish our emotional supply, and where we are taught what is important, what is good, and where happiness really comes from. (No Doubt About It, Sheri Dew, Pg 57)
“Our young people need love and attention, not indulgence,” taught President Benson. “They need empathy and understanding, not indifference, from mothers and fathers. They need the parents’ time. A mother’s kindly teachings and her love for and confidence in a teenage son or daughter can literally save them from a wicked world.” “Praise your children more than you correct them, “ he counseled. “Praise them for even their smallest achievement... Encourage your children to come to you..with their problems and questions by listening to them every day.”
“My plea...is a plea to save the children,” President Hinckley has said. “Too many of them walk with pain and fear, in loneliness and despair. Children need sunlight...They need kindness and refreshment and affection. Every home, regardless of the cost of the house, can provide an environment of love which will be an environment of salvation.”
It is time to give ourselves to the Master and allow
Him to lead us into fruitful fields where we can
enrich a world filled with darkness and misery. Each
of us, no matter who we are, no matter where we serve,
must arise and make the most of each opportunity that
comes.Jeffrey Holland
"Our world needs straightening up. It needs leadership. It needs
enlightenment. It needs those who are able to analyze problems and
suggest solutions, those who can draw upon the past to make
intelligent decisions for the future, those who understand the
ramifications of certain kinds of actions, those who appreciate fully
the interplay between virtue and morality and integrity and the fabric
of society." Pres. Hinckley
"It is not enough to just live, just to survive. It is incumbent on
each of us to equip ourselves to do something worthwhile in society -
to acquire more and more light, so that our personal light can help
illuminate a darkened world. And this is made possible through
learning, through educating ourselves, through progressing, and
growing in both mind and spirit." Pres Hinckley
"Each of us, regardless of our circumstances, can find a way to study
and grow. Our industry in so doing will cause the years to pass faster
than we might wish, but they will be filled with a sweet and wonderful
zest that will add flavor to life and power to our personal influence
and ability to teach and lead." Pres. Hinckley
"If our hearts are fixed on the Savior, we will have a solid reason
to rejoice, to rejoice in spite of adversity and to rejoice even in
our adversity. Sometimes we make our burdens heavier because we
think we shouldn't have problems. We feel guilty. We compare
ourselves to (others) . . . we don't need to compare ourselves to
anyone else. We are okay, just the way we are, each of us, with our own needs, our own abilities, our own desires of righteousness, and
our own set of obstacles to overcome. . ."
"If you're doing the best you can, that's good enough. I don't know
many men and women who aren't doing their absolute best in every
way, but plenty of them keep track only of the things they don't do
perfectly. Many people I know accomplish a phenomenal amount, but
often they don't pay attention to what they've done. Rather they
concentrate on what's left undone or what remains still to do. Their
hearts are literally downcast. They have given their hearts to their
burdens, not to the great Helper and Lifter of burdens. . ."
"When you feel discouraged, when all of your courage has leaked away
and you feel downcast and your lower lip is getting too close to
your jogging shoes, I give you permission to pat yourself on the
back for what you are doing. The savior did not suffer in Gethsemane
and die on the cross to rebuke you, to chastise you, to turn his
back on you, and to despise you. He did all of these things so that
he could redeem you and save you and lift you up to meet him in the
clouds of glory at his second coming, "and so . . . ever be with the
Lord" (1 Thessalonians 4:17). That is the glorious message of the
gospel to all of us." Chieko Okasaki
You can have the utmost assurance that your power will be multiplied many times by the L0rd. All He asks is that you give your best effort and your whole heart. Do it cheerfully and with the prayer of faith. You will feel at some time, perhaps at many times, that you cannot do all you feel you must...The forces arrayed against you will try not only to frustrate your work, but your desire to do Dis will, and your asking in faith will determine how clearly the Master can guide you by answers to your prayers...He chose you...The Lord knows you...He has prepared a way so that He could issue your call.
–Elder Eyring, Oct 2002
♡So trusting my all to thy tender care, and knowing thou lovest me, I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere,... I’ll be what you want me to be.”♡
Faith is not only believing that God can, but knowing that He will...
Out of clutter, find simplicity
From Discord, find harmony.
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.--Einstein
We must be the change we wish to see in the world- Gandhi
“If Americans should ever come to believe that their rights and freedoms are instituted among men by politicians and bureaucrats, then they will no longer carry the proud inheritance of their forefathers, but will grovel before their masters seeking favors and dispensations” –Ezra Taft Benson (“The Proper Role of Government” 1968)
WEAKNESSES
Weakness in seeing perspective in trial: Elder Damiani (Ens. May 2005, pg 95) “Jesus Christ told the Twelve Apostles some of the things that can destroy our hope and make us give up: allowing ourselves to fall into temptation; not enduring affliction, tribulation, and persecution; fearing “the cares” of the world; seeking wealth first; giving us instead of enduring to the end.”
Questions to ask: What does the Lord want me to do in this situation? How can we know whether we are being tried or whether the Lord is punishing us?
Scriptures to remember: Whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance. (D&C 95:1)
Favorite Random Quotes
Both abundance and lack of abundance exist simultaniously in our lives, as parallel realities. it is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend. When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present--love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us happiness--the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth. --unknown :(
What I CAN do
"The God who gives us each day as a treasure will require an accounting...This day is a precious gift of God... "I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me"...A morning prayer and an early search in the scriptures can set the course for a day. We can know which task, fo all those we might choose, matters most to God and therefore to us...such a prayer is always answered if we ask and ponder with childlike submission, ready to act without delay to perform even the most humble service...all would be possible for the humblest of us. The temptation to delay will come from two feelings...one to be complacent...and the other to feel overwhelmed.
"Lovingly pray: "Please let me serve this day. It doesn’t matter to me how few things I may be able to do...Just let me know what I can do. I will obey this day. I know I can, with thy help.
"Hard as things seem today, they will be better in the next day if you choose to serve the Lord this day with your whole heart...when your burdens become too heavy, the Lord, whom you have served, will carry what you cannot. He knows how. He prepared long ago. He suffered your infirmities and your sorrows when He was in the flesh so He would know how to succor you.
When you go to sleep: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things..."–Elder Eyring, May ‘07
"Lovingly pray: "Please let me serve this day. It doesn’t matter to me how few things I may be able to do...Just let me know what I can do. I will obey this day. I know I can, with thy help.
"Hard as things seem today, they will be better in the next day if you choose to serve the Lord this day with your whole heart...when your burdens become too heavy, the Lord, whom you have served, will carry what you cannot. He knows how. He prepared long ago. He suffered your infirmities and your sorrows when He was in the flesh so He would know how to succor you.
When you go to sleep: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things..."–Elder Eyring, May ‘07
Powers greater than yours--Eyring
"Don't be discouraged when things look bleak nor too proud when things go well, because powers greater than yours are shaping events," President Eyring advised. "The Lord really does reign. Our primary contribution is to help when we can and be wise enough not to get in His way. He makes the history while we write our supporting parts in it." --Oct. 2009 Church News
Messages from the Hymns
"The Time is Far Spent" fourth verse: Be fixed in your purpose, for Satan will try you; The weight of your calling he perfectly knows. Your path may be thorny, but Jesus is nigh you; His arm is sufficient, tho demons oppose, His arm is sufficient, tho demons oppose."
"How Firm A Foundation" last verse: "That soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, I will not, I cannot desert to his foes! That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never, no never forsake!"
"How Firm A Foundation" last verse: "That soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, I will not, I cannot desert to his foes! That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never, no never forsake!"
Land and Liberty in Alma 43-44
Reading this morning in Alma, I have been struck by a couple of things. First of all, in Alma 43:48-50, I love how Moroni, when sensing the depression of his army/people around him in the face of the extreme harshness of the Lamanites, sent forth, and "inspired their hearts with these thoughts–yea, the thoughts of their lands, their liberty, yea, their freedom from bondage....and it came to pass that they turned upon the Lamanites, and they cried with one voice unto the Lord their God, for their liberty and their freedom from bondage, And they began to stand against the Lamanites with power; and in that selfsame hour that they cried unto the Lord for their freedom, the Lamanites began to flee before them." How amazing! I felt like this went hand in hand with verse 23 of that chapter where Moroni, knowing Alma to be a prophet, asked him where they should go to confront their enemies. We must have the connection with God to not only give us inspiration about where and when to pick our battles, but to give us divine inspiration and strength as we "battle" in causes that are just, even in the face of overwhelming or daunting odds!
Vs. 45: Nevertheless, the Nephites were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for monarchy nor for power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all, yea, for their rites of worship and their church.
I also came across the following and felt it had interesting implications: Alma 44:5: "by that liberty which binds us to our lands and our country". It was their liberty that tied them to their lands and country, because they had the liberty to work it, to farm it, to become connected with it and have stewardship over it. Amazing! It reminds me of "Little Britches" by Ralph Moody, which I am reading right now with Vanguard Youth, and where it talks about how Ralph felt a sense of pride and ownership in their dilapidated property, even upon first viewing it, a craving to care for it, a sense of stewardship. We must have the liberty to own property, for in a very real sense, it gives us those same feelings that Ralph experienced so quickly. Of course, we must work for it, because, like anything else in our lives, it will fall into disrepair with neglect. But with that labor, comes that sense of ownership, that sense of stewardship, and an underlying sense of responsibility...the kind of feelings that enable men and women to defend it, when necessary, as in the above scripture.
Vs. 45: Nevertheless, the Nephites were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for monarchy nor for power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all, yea, for their rites of worship and their church.
I also came across the following and felt it had interesting implications: Alma 44:5: "by that liberty which binds us to our lands and our country". It was their liberty that tied them to their lands and country, because they had the liberty to work it, to farm it, to become connected with it and have stewardship over it. Amazing! It reminds me of "Little Britches" by Ralph Moody, which I am reading right now with Vanguard Youth, and where it talks about how Ralph felt a sense of pride and ownership in their dilapidated property, even upon first viewing it, a craving to care for it, a sense of stewardship. We must have the liberty to own property, for in a very real sense, it gives us those same feelings that Ralph experienced so quickly. Of course, we must work for it, because, like anything else in our lives, it will fall into disrepair with neglect. But with that labor, comes that sense of ownership, that sense of stewardship, and an underlying sense of responsibility...the kind of feelings that enable men and women to defend it, when necessary, as in the above scripture.
Peck's "balance" of communism and capitalism
I am reading "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck, MD, and found an interesting connection to concepts I have been thinking about over the past few years with regards to political economy:
"The problem of separateness in close relationships has bedeviled mankind through the ages. However, it has received more attention from a political standpoint than from a marital one. Pure communism, for instance, expresses a philosophy not unlike that of the aforementioned couples–namely, that the purpose and function of the individual is to serve the relationship, the group, the collective, the society. Only the destiny of the state is considered; the destiny of the individual is believed to be of no consequence. Pure capitalism, on the other hand, espouses the destiny of the individual even when it is at the expense of the relationship, the group, the collective, the society. Widows and orphans may starve, but this should not prevent the individual entrepreneur from enjoying all the fruits of his or her individual initiative. It should be obvious to any discerning mind that neither of these pure solutions to the problem of separateness within relationships will be successful. The individual’s health depends upon the health of its individuals."
He then compares this concept to an analogy of a base camp for mountain climbing. "If one wants to climb mountains one must have a good base camp, a place where there are shelter and provisions, where one may receive nurture and rest before one ventures forth again to seek another summit. Successful mountain climbers know that they must spend at least as much time, if not more, in tending to their base camp as they actually do in climbing mountains, for their survival is dependent upon their seeing to it that their base camp is sturdily constructed and well stocked."
In this book, he is dealing more with the marriage aspect of this analogy, however, reading this left me to ponder about it’s implications for a healthy society, one in which the individual is allowed to climb the proverbial mountain, but how he cannot do so indefinitely selfishly...he must take time to nurture/care for/invest in those around him to provide a stable "base camp" (Pgs 166-167, Peck.)
"The problem of separateness in close relationships has bedeviled mankind through the ages. However, it has received more attention from a political standpoint than from a marital one. Pure communism, for instance, expresses a philosophy not unlike that of the aforementioned couples–namely, that the purpose and function of the individual is to serve the relationship, the group, the collective, the society. Only the destiny of the state is considered; the destiny of the individual is believed to be of no consequence. Pure capitalism, on the other hand, espouses the destiny of the individual even when it is at the expense of the relationship, the group, the collective, the society. Widows and orphans may starve, but this should not prevent the individual entrepreneur from enjoying all the fruits of his or her individual initiative. It should be obvious to any discerning mind that neither of these pure solutions to the problem of separateness within relationships will be successful. The individual’s health depends upon the health of its individuals."
He then compares this concept to an analogy of a base camp for mountain climbing. "If one wants to climb mountains one must have a good base camp, a place where there are shelter and provisions, where one may receive nurture and rest before one ventures forth again to seek another summit. Successful mountain climbers know that they must spend at least as much time, if not more, in tending to their base camp as they actually do in climbing mountains, for their survival is dependent upon their seeing to it that their base camp is sturdily constructed and well stocked."
In this book, he is dealing more with the marriage aspect of this analogy, however, reading this left me to ponder about it’s implications for a healthy society, one in which the individual is allowed to climb the proverbial mountain, but how he cannot do so indefinitely selfishly...he must take time to nurture/care for/invest in those around him to provide a stable "base camp" (Pgs 166-167, Peck.)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Games and Activities I use in homeschooling
These are all things that have developed over time, suited to the comfort of our homeschooling. They are almost all geared towards every age, so these are activities we can do together, with everyone inspiring each other. I do some of these consistently, and some I pull off the shelf and dust-off for a few weeks or days and then put it back "on the shelf", so to speak. I just like having specific titles/activities, so that when I mention it to the kids #1 they know what I am talking about, #2 what will be expected or tried for, and #3 they will be excitedly anticipating it (some more than others). As with everything I do, sometimes the kids are all there, sometimes it ends up being one-on-one because the others are fighting or too busy playing to join us, but most of the time I have the whole group there by the end.
*Devotional: Pledge of Allegiance after marching around to a sung patriotic tune, Story from Friend or other inspirational piece, selection from our stories of the Bible, religious song, prayer, sometimes we work on memorizing together at this time. Each child "has" a day of the week where they get to pick the movie we watch for that day (typically one or less total for our complete screen time...and I try to encourage valuable ones), choose the marching song, hold the flag for the march and Pledge, pick the Friend story, and the song to be sung.
*The M&M dice game: everyone tries to add up the dice they have rolled before the others so they can get ONE M&M!!! WOOHOO!! And then the fun begins all over again with a new roll :). Tova has 3-4 dice and typically throws in some multiplication or subraction, Kel 2-3, .....Piper just rolls it and shouts out numbers, letters or names.
*"Authors in the Attic" a take-off from Little Women. Anyone who has written anything (whether I did "dots" for them to trace it, or they copied it out of a book) is invited to either my room, the darkened kitchen at night, or our crawl space. We light candles and use flashlights, someone takes a turn welcoming us to AUTHORS IN THE ATTIC! Then we share by candlelight or flashlight, using pen names, whatever amazing literary creation we have done for the week.
We have had everything from dramatic plays (Tova, aka Sophia Bell), letters soliciting money for education (Mary aka Zoey Zephyr) , the copying of random letters out of a shark book (Drew, aka Lightning Man), stories of high adventure (Kel, aka Lloyd Alexander...now Rick Riordan), illustrated "books" about beautiful places (Lily, aka Princess Penelope), and poems about zucchinis in bright pink bikinis talking to linguinis riding in lambriginis (sp?) (Quinn, of course...known as "Mark Wilson" in our crowd, who always titles his creations with the title of a Beach Boy tune.) A special treat is served, and then we are excused, after a time for random comments and praise.
*The Time Machine! I use some type of chronological history (workbooks from CostCo to Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer), throw out our "world atlas" blanket (some fancy or unique blanket saved for just such an occasion would work), let the kids punch the buttons, we wiggle and bounce as we are "thrust backwards in time". I paint an image of the place we have landed, allowing the kids to help if they know anything about that place in the world, and show them picture in books from the library, the national geographic or our world book encyclopedia to help them get a flavor of where they are. I like to get a unique treat or fun activity to go with it: combat with foam swords for our visit to the crusades, wafers/crackers and cheese as a type of way bread for the caravans across Egypt, building pyramids out of legos/blocks/sugar cubes, etc. for Egypt, writing in Chinese on long, taped-together pieces of paper for China or using chopsticks for dinner that night...etc.
*Anatomy "class": I get fun books from the library and go through the body system by system. There are some great Dover coloring books to go with this. There is a great deal of self-examination compared to some awesome dissection images of the human body.
*Table Time: a great time where mom is available to help the youngers with their oh-so-cool workbooks! We go through them randomly, based on what they are ready for, and throw out what is useless "overhead". The kids love to hear..."Oh, don’t worry about finishing that page...I think you have it" or "Wow! You are doing those so well, I bet you could finish those in five minutes and show daddy when he gets home!" and then set the timer. It’s all about "love of learning!"
*Art Class: I use a book from the library titled "Art for Kids" by Kathryn Temple, which is a very no-brainer, step by step way to teach any person how to draw better, and even draw some cool things! It is also sooooooo important to teach art to develop that right brain to help in analzying and seeing things from a different perspective (it goes into more detail about that in that book). Another art resource is the National Endowment for the Humanities, a federal program. You can order kits from that to use...not that I have yet, but it looks wonderful!
*Games I use to teach:
The Farming Game–a taste of real farm economy, money math
M&M dice–(see above)
Rummikub–number sequence
Scrabble-spelling
Doodle Dice pattern distinction
Set-intense pattern distinction; a Mensa game, for what that is worth!
Blokus–strategy, shapes
Battleship– graphing
Monopoly–money math, real estate
Risk– geography
Pirate’s Dice– probability
Got It! –probability
Settlers of Catan– economy and trade
Chess–strategy, thinking ahead, memorizing and analyzing
*I don't use a lot of computer games, because it is so easy for my kids to get sucked into those, but will occasionally bring one in. I always hesitate when I hear incessantly "can I play on the computer?" rather than "I really want to learn about math on that cool math program we have!" One thing I do use is a "system" called "Geo-Safari" with fact sheets about everything from the parts of the body (goes great with anatomy) to geography around the world, from simple to complex. Apparently, you can even program your own fact sheets for them to work on, incorporating things like the presidents, things about your church, anything. I think you can get these at places like Amazon, etc. I got mine for $25 at a garage sale...it's amazing what you can get when you know what you are looking for!
*Devotional: Pledge of Allegiance after marching around to a sung patriotic tune, Story from Friend or other inspirational piece, selection from our stories of the Bible, religious song, prayer, sometimes we work on memorizing together at this time. Each child "has" a day of the week where they get to pick the movie we watch for that day (typically one or less total for our complete screen time...and I try to encourage valuable ones), choose the marching song, hold the flag for the march and Pledge, pick the Friend story, and the song to be sung.
*The M&M dice game: everyone tries to add up the dice they have rolled before the others so they can get ONE M&M!!! WOOHOO!! And then the fun begins all over again with a new roll :). Tova has 3-4 dice and typically throws in some multiplication or subraction, Kel 2-3, .....Piper just rolls it and shouts out numbers, letters or names.
*"Authors in the Attic" a take-off from Little Women. Anyone who has written anything (whether I did "dots" for them to trace it, or they copied it out of a book) is invited to either my room, the darkened kitchen at night, or our crawl space. We light candles and use flashlights, someone takes a turn welcoming us to AUTHORS IN THE ATTIC! Then we share by candlelight or flashlight, using pen names, whatever amazing literary creation we have done for the week.
We have had everything from dramatic plays (Tova, aka Sophia Bell), letters soliciting money for education (Mary aka Zoey Zephyr) , the copying of random letters out of a shark book (Drew, aka Lightning Man), stories of high adventure (Kel, aka Lloyd Alexander...now Rick Riordan), illustrated "books" about beautiful places (Lily, aka Princess Penelope), and poems about zucchinis in bright pink bikinis talking to linguinis riding in lambriginis (sp?) (Quinn, of course...known as "Mark Wilson" in our crowd, who always titles his creations with the title of a Beach Boy tune.) A special treat is served, and then we are excused, after a time for random comments and praise.
*The Time Machine! I use some type of chronological history (workbooks from CostCo to Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer), throw out our "world atlas" blanket (some fancy or unique blanket saved for just such an occasion would work), let the kids punch the buttons, we wiggle and bounce as we are "thrust backwards in time". I paint an image of the place we have landed, allowing the kids to help if they know anything about that place in the world, and show them picture in books from the library, the national geographic or our world book encyclopedia to help them get a flavor of where they are. I like to get a unique treat or fun activity to go with it: combat with foam swords for our visit to the crusades, wafers/crackers and cheese as a type of way bread for the caravans across Egypt, building pyramids out of legos/blocks/sugar cubes, etc. for Egypt, writing in Chinese on long, taped-together pieces of paper for China or using chopsticks for dinner that night...etc.
*Anatomy "class": I get fun books from the library and go through the body system by system. There are some great Dover coloring books to go with this. There is a great deal of self-examination compared to some awesome dissection images of the human body.
*Table Time: a great time where mom is available to help the youngers with their oh-so-cool workbooks! We go through them randomly, based on what they are ready for, and throw out what is useless "overhead". The kids love to hear..."Oh, don’t worry about finishing that page...I think you have it" or "Wow! You are doing those so well, I bet you could finish those in five minutes and show daddy when he gets home!" and then set the timer. It’s all about "love of learning!"
*Art Class: I use a book from the library titled "Art for Kids" by Kathryn Temple, which is a very no-brainer, step by step way to teach any person how to draw better, and even draw some cool things! It is also sooooooo important to teach art to develop that right brain to help in analzying and seeing things from a different perspective (it goes into more detail about that in that book). Another art resource is the National Endowment for the Humanities, a federal program. You can order kits from that to use...not that I have yet, but it looks wonderful!
*Games I use to teach:
The Farming Game–a taste of real farm economy, money math
M&M dice–(see above)
Rummikub–number sequence
Scrabble-spelling
Doodle Dice pattern distinction
Set-intense pattern distinction; a Mensa game, for what that is worth!
Blokus–strategy, shapes
Battleship– graphing
Monopoly–money math, real estate
Risk– geography
Pirate’s Dice– probability
Got It! –probability
Settlers of Catan– economy and trade
Chess–strategy, thinking ahead, memorizing and analyzing
*I don't use a lot of computer games, because it is so easy for my kids to get sucked into those, but will occasionally bring one in. I always hesitate when I hear incessantly "can I play on the computer?" rather than "I really want to learn about math on that cool math program we have!" One thing I do use is a "system" called "Geo-Safari" with fact sheets about everything from the parts of the body (goes great with anatomy) to geography around the world, from simple to complex. Apparently, you can even program your own fact sheets for them to work on, incorporating things like the presidents, things about your church, anything. I think you can get these at places like Amazon, etc. I got mine for $25 at a garage sale...it's amazing what you can get when you know what you are looking for!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Structuring Time, not Content :)--my basic schedule
A look at my day...and remember, you can only hope to have 1 out of every 10 days really "work" :) For individual activities like "Devotional", and "M&M dice" see my "Games and Activities I use" post.
(As with everything I post, this has evolved over the years to become something that works for us...take what you want, bag the rest! I have found with schedules, you need to have infrequent "Walden Days" when you let the "bells ring" as it were and get a realistic outlook of what is do-able, and then go from there. For more on "Walden Days" see my soon to bedesperately un-editted version of "Walden")
--get-up whenever my mind is so awake it drags my unwilling carcass out of bed.
7-8-ish: feed kids breakfast (it's easier to do it earlier with the time change!)
until 9 am: kids do basic stewardship over areas: personal and family (see work chart to be posted later :)!)--awesome resources for "work"....article on Family Work, BYU magazine Spring 2000
9 ish: Devotional: Ideally, they all hang out and listen, enraptured...typically, this is done amidst much chaos and occasional bickering.
'tween time: Group study! I choose from the following. Some, most or all of the kids usually will decide to participate, especially if I am trying to visually have a great time doing it :).
--Read aloud whatever I want to them while they color out of the "just for this time" coloring books (I ordered some amazing one in bulk from Dover.com for all ages)
Bauer's "Story of the World", "A Year with Miss Agnes","Little Britches", and "The Once and Future King" are ones we have either just finished or are slowly working through
--Play "file folder" games
--Teach anatomy or science using books from the library, coloring books, or ideas from Science project books.
--"Art class" using "how to draw" for young artist books
--play math games like Rack-o, Set, Rummy-O, Pirates' Dice, Monopoly, the Farming Game, M&M dice (everyone tries to add up the dice they have rolled before the others so they can get ONE M&M!!! WOOHOO!! And then the fun begins all over again with a new roll :). Tova has 3-4 dice and typically throws in some multiplication or subraction, Kel 2-3, .....Piper just rolls it and shouts out numbers, letters or names.)
--Do workbooks...they pick the pages (although sometimes they will listen to my excited suggestion) while I talk about how awesome it will be when they know all that information so they can either read, do money math so no one cheats them someday :), or just be that genius I know they were meant to be :).
--Write a selection for our "Author's in the Attic" somewhat weekly gathering (although we have gone months before without it! :)!)
--Go on a time machine
--Bake with them
--work on outdoor projects
--go on field trip (but usually this is in the afternoons)
--read aloud their choice of books
--do GeoSafari
Lunch--a needed, yet dreaded interruption!
Typically they run outside before or after this for tramp time, basketball, or just alone time.
Quiet time 1-3: They can do whatever they want in their own area. Sometimes I shorten it, but not if I can help it! The older kids are doing more of their own, self-directed studies; the younger ones build, color, do puzzles, look at books, rest...This is when I can do one-on-one mentoring better, have the occasional piano lesson for the kids who want them, and do my own things!!!!
Free-choice time ("free time" is getting weaned from our vocabulary after some lengthy discussions about "stewardships"!) This is the time for friends, when they watch the movie if they pick one, we play games, work, fight,...you know, all those good family things!
Dinner
Family time, games, chasing, bathing
Family scriptures/treats/reading aloud by Daddy when we can
Bed-time 7-8:30 range
where do the little ones fit in? all over! we get snuggles during devotional, play along with the "bigger kids" during group time, learn how to love, work, play nicely, resolve fighting, communicate. Core phase at it's best!
(As with everything I post, this has evolved over the years to become something that works for us...take what you want, bag the rest! I have found with schedules, you need to have infrequent "Walden Days" when you let the "bells ring" as it were and get a realistic outlook of what is do-able, and then go from there. For more on "Walden Days" see my soon to bedesperately un-editted version of "Walden")
--get-up whenever my mind is so awake it drags my unwilling carcass out of bed.
7-8-ish: feed kids breakfast (it's easier to do it earlier with the time change!)
until 9 am: kids do basic stewardship over areas: personal and family (see work chart to be posted later :)!)--awesome resources for "work"....article on Family Work, BYU magazine Spring 2000
9 ish: Devotional: Ideally, they all hang out and listen, enraptured...typically, this is done amidst much chaos and occasional bickering.
'tween time: Group study! I choose from the following. Some, most or all of the kids usually will decide to participate, especially if I am trying to visually have a great time doing it :).
--Read aloud whatever I want to them while they color out of the "just for this time" coloring books (I ordered some amazing one in bulk from Dover.com for all ages)
Bauer's "Story of the World", "A Year with Miss Agnes","Little Britches", and "The Once and Future King" are ones we have either just finished or are slowly working through
--Play "file folder" games
--Teach anatomy or science using books from the library, coloring books, or ideas from Science project books.
--"Art class" using "how to draw" for young artist books
--play math games like Rack-o, Set, Rummy-O, Pirates' Dice, Monopoly, the Farming Game, M&M dice (everyone tries to add up the dice they have rolled before the others so they can get ONE M&M!!! WOOHOO!! And then the fun begins all over again with a new roll :). Tova has 3-4 dice and typically throws in some multiplication or subraction, Kel 2-3, .....Piper just rolls it and shouts out numbers, letters or names.)
--Do workbooks...they pick the pages (although sometimes they will listen to my excited suggestion) while I talk about how awesome it will be when they know all that information so they can either read, do money math so no one cheats them someday :), or just be that genius I know they were meant to be :).
--Write a selection for our "Author's in the Attic" somewhat weekly gathering (although we have gone months before without it! :)!)
--Go on a time machine
--Bake with them
--work on outdoor projects
--go on field trip (but usually this is in the afternoons)
--read aloud their choice of books
--do GeoSafari
Lunch--a needed, yet dreaded interruption!
Typically they run outside before or after this for tramp time, basketball, or just alone time.
Quiet time 1-3: They can do whatever they want in their own area. Sometimes I shorten it, but not if I can help it! The older kids are doing more of their own, self-directed studies; the younger ones build, color, do puzzles, look at books, rest...This is when I can do one-on-one mentoring better, have the occasional piano lesson for the kids who want them, and do my own things!!!!
Free-choice time ("free time" is getting weaned from our vocabulary after some lengthy discussions about "stewardships"!) This is the time for friends, when they watch the movie if they pick one, we play games, work, fight,...you know, all those good family things!
Dinner
Family time, games, chasing, bathing
Family scriptures/treats/reading aloud by Daddy when we can
Bed-time 7-8:30 range
where do the little ones fit in? all over! we get snuggles during devotional, play along with the "bigger kids" during group time, learn how to love, work, play nicely, resolve fighting, communicate. Core phase at it's best!
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