He cried.
I held my baby in his arms and heard his cries, his pleas. He wanted the warm milk in my body and I could not give it to him. It was there, a silent reminder of what he yearned for, but I knew that I could not give it to him.
You see, I was diagnosed with an infection, cellulitis, and had to start some heavy antibiotics since I had not started my herbal regiment soon enough. And those antibiotics would invariably be in that milk my baby was crying out for.
As I held my child in my arms, weeping, knowing that yet another tender point in my stage of motherhood had just been passed, I comforted him, rubbing his back, rocking to him, singing, trying to fill the ache of his need through my love. You see, nursing is much more than simply giving nourishment...it can be a gentle, tender, and beautiful moment to bond with your child.
This morning, as I reflected on that experience, it reminded me of our relationship with our Heavenly Father. So often we yearn and cry for that which we think we need, things that have brought us pleasure in the past but are no longer what is best for us:
--that new job with an increase in pay
--a perfect vacation
--a car without problems
--the quick sale of our house (hmmm...)
--healing from a disease
I wonder if, in those moments, our Heavenly Father lovingly holds us as we weep, as I did my little one, tenderly embracing us and loving us...knowing what we want but knowing that to give it to us would actually do more harm than good...that it could, in fact, be deadly, whether deadly to our spirit or our body.
The love that our Father in Heaven has for us is incredible. Oh, how His heart must ache to hear us cry so! How deep His love must be to keep from us what is not best! May I trust Him....
I held my baby in his arms and heard his cries, his pleas. He wanted the warm milk in my body and I could not give it to him. It was there, a silent reminder of what he yearned for, but I knew that I could not give it to him.
You see, I was diagnosed with an infection, cellulitis, and had to start some heavy antibiotics since I had not started my herbal regiment soon enough. And those antibiotics would invariably be in that milk my baby was crying out for.
As I held my child in my arms, weeping, knowing that yet another tender point in my stage of motherhood had just been passed, I comforted him, rubbing his back, rocking to him, singing, trying to fill the ache of his need through my love. You see, nursing is much more than simply giving nourishment...it can be a gentle, tender, and beautiful moment to bond with your child.
This morning, as I reflected on that experience, it reminded me of our relationship with our Heavenly Father. So often we yearn and cry for that which we think we need, things that have brought us pleasure in the past but are no longer what is best for us:
--that new job with an increase in pay
--a perfect vacation
--a car without problems
--the quick sale of our house (hmmm...)
--healing from a disease
I wonder if, in those moments, our Heavenly Father lovingly holds us as we weep, as I did my little one, tenderly embracing us and loving us...knowing what we want but knowing that to give it to us would actually do more harm than good...that it could, in fact, be deadly, whether deadly to our spirit or our body.
The love that our Father in Heaven has for us is incredible. Oh, how His heart must ache to hear us cry so! How deep His love must be to keep from us what is not best! May I trust Him....
ReplyDeleteWhat an absolutely beautiful thought - a thought I need so much in my life right now. I just wish I knew if the trials I go through have been self-inflicted ... not so much "God" inflicted. Either way, letting go of control and knowing that God is the one who is ultimately in control is one biggy I've been learning. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with the world Mary. :)