When submitting is not a bad thing...

I just finished reading Wister's "The Virginian" for the second time.  The first time I read it, I was convinced that it was a male chauvinist book.  This time? I found it a beautiful portrayal of some key differences between men and women, all done tastefully and respectfully.

One part in particular stands out to me, in which someone is counseling the hero's lady love about happiness in marriage:

Once, I thought love must surely be enough. And I thought if I could make you love me, you could learn me to be less--less-more your kind (he is from the south and she from New England).  And I think I could give you a pretty good sort of love.  But that don't help the little mean pesky things of day by day that make roughness or smoothness for folks tied together so awful close.  Mrs. Taylor hyeh ("here"...a mutual friend of their's)--she don't know anything better than Taylor does.  She don't want anything he can't give her.--pg 196, end of chap. 27

 How many times to we as wives continually seek for that "green grass" on the other side of the fence? It reminded me of the section in Ephesians 5 about husbands and wives:

 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

 We submit ourselves to the Lord because we love and trust Him.  True, He is perfect, but I know so many men that nourish and cherish their wives the best they know how...and their wives just don't think it is enough.  Men show their nourishing and cherishing in different ways, and when we married them, we as women felt like it was good enough to pledge ourselves to them for time and all eternity at that time.  What has really changed?  Has the husband really gotten that much worse, or have we as women become that much more demanding?

When the honeymoon is over sometimes we start to feel that we need to fix what isn't necessarily broken!

I see men work day in and day out and come home to: "well, that just isn't enough!" time and time and time again.  I know it goes both ways!  I know there are men who also feel that all their loving wives are doing isn't enough and let them know it!

I feel it is so important in marriage to be content with the imperfections in our spouses...I am sure they are aware of enough to work on without their soulmate, their pledged friend and companion, pointing out where they could be better!

Submitting.  Contentment.  Powerful words that will look different for everyone, but eternal principles that are worth considering how to apply in our own unique ways.

Godhood and chaos

As I was working calmly in my house this morning, rejoicing in the first Wednesday I have not had anything scheduled since Christmas time (if not before!), I noticed that out of the chaos I was leaving cleanliness and beauty in my wake. 

It made me wonder, is that not what we are preparing for?  For godhood, when out of the chaos around us, we create beauty and order.  I learned in physics about entropy, the natural tendency of things toward chaos.  Perhaps just as we must confront the natural man tendencies as outlined in Mosiah 3:19 and create beauty and order within ourselves, we must confront the naturally emerging chaos around us and create beauty and order?

Now, I think the "creating" part is very messy at times :), and joyfully so, and one person's view of "chaos" may differ from another's...perhaps like some plants are weeds to some people and flowers to others?  Perhaps some of godhood is that perspective to see the beauty and purpose in some chaos, and knowing which ones we need to work on and fix?

Hmmmm....musing out loud :).

Digging the holes of life

Quinn came up to me yesterday morning.  "My goal (since we are realistic at our house :)...) is to get all the sprinkling systems up and running."  Pause.  "And then, if I actually do that, I will get the swamp cooler running."  I cheered him on his way with a hug, and we each separated to our various fields of Saturday battle.

Periodically I would see him, dirty and tired, but always coming from the same hole.  Apparently, one broken sprinkler line went under a tree and the main line next to it was also vulnerable during the digging and ended up being broken too while Quinn was chopping through the trunk and roots of the tree.

Needless to say, it took him all day to get to the broken line, fix the main line that broke in the process and...that's "it."  It was frustrating for him.

However, as we talked about it (as my projects felt similarly frustrating), I said, "But you know, that work had to be done to get where we want to go.  There was no other way to do it."

It got me thinking this morning.  How many times in callings in the Church, in situations with family and friends, or in personal development we feel like we are like Quinn, digging and digging and digging...even making more problems as we try to "solve the problem" or "achieve the goal"?  It is frustrating! 

Yet...

...sometimes we cannot achieve our goal, mend that relationship, or serve those people without hours of what feels like fruitless labor.

Carry on.  The goal is still the goal.  The end is still heaven.  And it is about what we become in the process, even if we don't always see the fruits of our labors as often as we would like.

"Puzzling" lessons with Hava

As I sit here in the peaceful morning hours, putting together a puzzle with Hava, I was struck by some truths.


She couldn't see the big picture so she kept trying to fit pieces together.  If they were a true fit, then that was exciting!  However, when she kept trying to do it and couldn't find a match, she got discouraged and would give up.  How often in our own lives do we give up on our "big picture" of our lives because we can't seem to find the right pieces to go together?  Do we trust that the big picture is there and God is the author of it?

As we sat there, I also realized that, if she was going to have the enthusiasm and ability to finish this puzzle, at her age, I would have to do a lot of it, and then she would be able to start filling the remaining pieces in better on her own. Similarly, in our youth and infancy, often God helps put a lot of framework pieces in so we can see how we fit in.  However, as our maturity increases, often He lets us do more and more of the different puzzles, according to our readiness and maturity...and enthusiasm :).

He is the perfect "puzzle-put-together" partner!