Last week, we had our monthly second meeting in Medina. Yes, that means we not only go to our usual three hour block of worship from 10-1 in Lockport, but we also gather with many of the same saints and go to two hours of church from 5-7 and then have a "linger longer." Five hours of church. I don't mind it, but the little ones start losing it a bit.
Well, for that second meeting, the first hour is a fast and testimony meeting with a few specific invited testimonies and a closing testimony by one of the priesthood leaders. This last week, I was invited to share and I was excited! I love sharing my testimony and really only don't do it every time because I want to make sure other people get the chance. Even then I do it pretty regulary. There is such a rush that comes with bearing testimony of God and his wonders and miracles, being something of an imperfect mouthpiece and watching Him work His wonders through me. I love it.
Well, this Sunday I felt prompted to share part of Uchtdorf's talk, "You Matter to Him":
I spoke of Enoch, in the Book of Moses, who hesitated to work in the name of God: "Surely you don't want me, Lord. I am slow of speech and the people hate me!" I testified that it doesn't matter our weaknesses. God will work His wonders through us...and will make it work out beautifully.
As I looked around the congregation, I saw dry eyes. Nodding heads, smiles...yes, but not the "I've been moved" looks that I have felt blessed to see in the past. Hmmm, I thought. Something is missing. Something is different. Did I err? I silently pled with Father above. No, He said. You will see.
Friday rolled along and I sort of lost it. I felt like I wanted to really push the rooms upstairs and get some done. Let's throw some paint on those walls! I rejoiced. And then it just didn't get done. It was a day, it felt like, of just "not getting things done." Now, I know that things are not going to go as fast as you plan on. I knew that from the start. I have seen that as we are still not completely done on our bathroom and just barely had a shower as of last Saturday. If anyone says "projects like this always take longer than you plan on" one more time, I will hopefully not scream or shoot daggers through my eyes at them, but it will be hard!! However, these hurdles just seemed to be the final straw...at least them most recent "final straw." :) I was angry. I was frustrated. No matter what I put my hand to, yesterday, I felt an obstacle and inability to move forward, from trying to get a quote for car insurance (flopped online with "need to call an agent for this complicated of a quote" and then "after hours" message on the phone even though I was calling during business hours), to mudding and sanding our first "almost done" room upstairs. I was just missing things or not perfect enough to get the job done the way it was supposed to be done.
I felt bound by invisible cords and no matter what direction I tried to move in to get something done, it felt like moving through hardening cement and then immobility. Ach! I started walking in circles pushing the stroller with the three babies around and around, the circling symbolic of the circles I felt like I was going in in my life. So mad! So frustrated.
Then my talk came back to me: "I am able to do My work, through and despite your imperfections." His work. Helping us settle in New York. Sharing the gospel. Having a home that we can share it from. Creating a home where we can feel peace...or at least a place where I can get out our books and read them! A place where we can eat without dirt under our feet.
As I write this, I realize my ingratitude. How many humble homes throughout the world are like this, with families happily and contentedly living out their lives in "less than desirable" conditions. He can do His work...it doesn't matter what resources I think I do (or don't) have.
Well, for that second meeting, the first hour is a fast and testimony meeting with a few specific invited testimonies and a closing testimony by one of the priesthood leaders. This last week, I was invited to share and I was excited! I love sharing my testimony and really only don't do it every time because I want to make sure other people get the chance. Even then I do it pretty regulary. There is such a rush that comes with bearing testimony of God and his wonders and miracles, being something of an imperfect mouthpiece and watching Him work His wonders through me. I love it.
Well, this Sunday I felt prompted to share part of Uchtdorf's talk, "You Matter to Him":
This is a paradox of man: compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God. While against the backdrop of infinite creation we may appear to be nothing, we have a spark of eternal fire burning within our breast. We have the incomprehensible promise of exaltation—worlds without end—within our grasp. And it is God’s great desire to help us reach it....
What mattered to Him was that I was doing the best I could, that my heart was inclined toward Him, and that I was willing to help those around me. I knew if I did the best I could, all would be well.
The Lord doesn’t care at all if we spend our days working in marble halls or stable stalls. He knows where we are, no matter how humble our circumstances. He will use—in His own way and for His holy purposes—those who incline their hearts to Him.
As I looked around the congregation, I saw dry eyes. Nodding heads, smiles...yes, but not the "I've been moved" looks that I have felt blessed to see in the past. Hmmm, I thought. Something is missing. Something is different. Did I err? I silently pled with Father above. No, He said. You will see.
Friday rolled along and I sort of lost it. I felt like I wanted to really push the rooms upstairs and get some done. Let's throw some paint on those walls! I rejoiced. And then it just didn't get done. It was a day, it felt like, of just "not getting things done." Now, I know that things are not going to go as fast as you plan on. I knew that from the start. I have seen that as we are still not completely done on our bathroom and just barely had a shower as of last Saturday. If anyone says "projects like this always take longer than you plan on" one more time, I will hopefully not scream or shoot daggers through my eyes at them, but it will be hard!! However, these hurdles just seemed to be the final straw...at least them most recent "final straw." :) I was angry. I was frustrated. No matter what I put my hand to, yesterday, I felt an obstacle and inability to move forward, from trying to get a quote for car insurance (flopped online with "need to call an agent for this complicated of a quote" and then "after hours" message on the phone even though I was calling during business hours), to mudding and sanding our first "almost done" room upstairs. I was just missing things or not perfect enough to get the job done the way it was supposed to be done.
I felt bound by invisible cords and no matter what direction I tried to move in to get something done, it felt like moving through hardening cement and then immobility. Ach! I started walking in circles pushing the stroller with the three babies around and around, the circling symbolic of the circles I felt like I was going in in my life. So mad! So frustrated.Then my talk came back to me: "I am able to do My work, through and despite your imperfections." His work. Helping us settle in New York. Sharing the gospel. Having a home that we can share it from. Creating a home where we can feel peace...or at least a place where I can get out our books and read them! A place where we can eat without dirt under our feet.
As I write this, I realize my ingratitude. How many humble homes throughout the world are like this, with families happily and contentedly living out their lives in "less than desirable" conditions. He can do His work...it doesn't matter what resources I think I do (or don't) have.
This talk was definitely for me.
Tears here my dear! Love you!
ReplyDeleteI just commented and it disappeared. Nice! Anyway, this reminds me of reading Alma 29 the other night. Alma mentions Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Moses, then in verse 13 states, "that same God hath called me."
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