"Mom, do you have that much faith?"

I came across this story a couple days ago and it's message has floated with me:

Most recently, my husband taught our children about the story of Moses. I said, “I think the faith of Moses’s mother is amazing! She sent him down the river and prayed that Heavenly Father would keep him safe. Can you imagine the great faith it took for her to trust Heavenly Father with her baby?”

Lucy asked, “Mom, do you have that much faith?”

It was a profound question. I thought about it for a moment and then shared a few experiences that I have had when I successfully relied on the Lord with faith. The discussion that followed was edifying for the entire family. Her question comes to my mind all the time.

So many times when I structure my day, I feel that God has specific things He wants me to do.  My intention to follow them is good, but then I start worrying about my children: am I giving them enough of my time and energy?  What of their afflictions are caused by my inadequacies or neglect?

We see our children suffer and as a mother I ache for them. I want to make it all better.  Over the years, my "helicopter parenting" has changed from controlling as much as I can to just trying to create an environment where they can experience a maximum of healthy agency with accountability, inspiration and respect.

But every once in a while I lapse.  I worry. I fear.  I have so many children. I homeschool. I am actively and along with Quinn independently responsible for their education. I feel that God approved of and desired for us to have this many children.  Do I trust that He can make up for my deficiencies?

Do I trust as I send first Tova and then Kel out into the world that they will have what they need?  Do I trust as I see my kids battle with heartache, loneliness, or rejection that it is part of God's refinement and sometimes all we can do is hold them, love them and then let the Spirit teach them?  Do I have the courage and trust to just be quiet and stop lecturing?  I think that sometimes I shout down the Spirit with my determination to get in the last word!

Anyway...powerful story and example of trust.  There are times and places for each parent to figuratively "send their child down the river," in different ways and stages...and for different children!  I pray that I will have the spiritual closeness to recognize when to jump in the water to save them and when to let them go."mom