Listening Long Enough to Hear the Answer

This week has been fun.

Our van was in the shop until Tuesday evening so some great friends, the Durrants and Paces, have lent us their cars so that we could go to church and doctor's appointments and all that other good stuff :D. Yesterday we were able to go to the temple in our van which was awesome and even met up with a sister missionary, Sister Atkins, whom I cherish! We walked in the Sacred Grove and I felt such peace. I asked in my heart my standing before the Lord. Sister Gardner, Sister Atkin's companion, shared about how often we ask the Lord a question and don't expect the answer to be so clear like it was for Joseph Smith...when we have every reason to believe it could be!

So I asked the question.

As I walked in the forest, I felt the peace and calm that always happens in that sacred place when I allow it to. Too often I take for granted the nearness and frequency of my opportunities to be there. As we may be moving soon, I guess it hit home that haven't taken advantage of the opportunity to let it change my life as often as I could. The birds sang, the green encroachment of spring spread in misty silence as I walked with my little ones in tow. Well, actually I was holding sweet Liesl's sticky little hand while Hava led dancing Maia, plodding Eli and thoughtful Xai along in front of me on the trail. So not exactly in tow...

Later that day in my scripture study I was pondering the same question and looking for my answer. I felt inspired to read in 3 Nephi 11 and at the beginning of the chapter it depicted the time when the Savior came and first there were three announcements of His arrival. The people couldn't understand it the first two times, they did the third and then they saw their Savior before them. I realize now as I write this that sometimes I don't understand the answer the first time and that doesn't mean that God isn't answering me. Here was one of the most significant events in human history and the thing that came before the "great reveal" was three independent witnesses to the individuals' hearts and minds.

So often I think that I undervalue the significance of the still small voice of the Holy Ghost in revealing God's truth, maybe that the angels bearing witness in glowing person should count more.

Also, I thought about how sometimes we don't understand the answer the first time. Maybe they were not really looking for the answer so they weren't ready to understand it. Maybe my back-history of negative self identity stand in the way of me understanding truly what God sees in my as I try to hear His voice through the clouds and mists of personal esteem darkness. But He is answering. Like those people at the time of the coming in the land of ancient America before the first coming of the Savior to them, I can hear something whispering in my heart the truth of how God sees me and my worth in His eyes. I just need to keep listening, asking and focusing and someday I will hear it clearly. And someday my Savior will be there to tell me in person.