More "Perfect" Than You Realized

My friend and I had an interesting conversation about this word last night.  When you think of a life that is "perfect,"  what do you think of?

What does the "perfect" house look like? 
While it may vary in color, size and population, I would hazard a guess that it is peaceful, orderly, well-maintained...maybe even a little bigger or better furnished or more completed than the one you have right now.  Maybe it has a pool or is a farm house or a pent house.

What does the "perfect" relationship look like? 
Again, words like "peaceful" come to mind, right?  Safe, loving, open, fun...it will vary in size, color, experience, etc, but I again suspect that these are good general terms to define it.

What does the "perfect" family look like? 
A stable father and mother who parent well, with consistent boundaries and consistent compassion and love.  Grandparents that nurture and reach out. Extended family that is there for you and doesn't judge you. Children that obey and say sorry when they don't obey.  Or even just talk to each other and look at you when you are speaking to them.  Oh, and you have a dog.

What does the "perfect" life look like?  Ordered.  Predictable or not (depending upon your personality, right?).  Open. Lots of possibilities and potential.  Stable.  Good health.  Good relationships.

Okay, got those images and feeling in your mind about what your "perfect" life would be like?  

No problems, no struggles, no trials. 

This idea of PERFECT is what we work towards in a church culture or in our American culture, right?  The place where our children happily serve and thrive as responsible citizens, where everyone in our family is emotionally healthy, where life is balanced, secured and "just right."  A life where we all eat healthy, groom ourselves--bathe regularly, lol!--, pick up after ourselves, say we are sorry, attend our church obligations, serve by the Spirit and then come home at the end of the day to a warm dinner where we are all gathered around and laugh in our clean, finished, beautiful home.  That is the goal.  Right?

Deep down, doesn't this image resonate with you,...even just a little?  Your book is finished, your family history is done, your house paid off or fixed up, your finances in order.

Well, despite what I used to believe, right now I completely disagree with this image of "perfect."  I see people, like myself, reaching for this goal and--in many ways even arriving at it in many aspects of their lives--and they still feel empty.  Still feel incomplete.  Still feel "imperfect."

When Christ said that we should become perfect--even as He and His Father are perfect--it was at the beginning of a homeless ministry, a ministry rife with betrayal, rejection and antagonism.  I submit that God's view of perfection is truly what the Greek defines it as, "complete."  I would like to add to that: "completely doing the things God would do and living life as God would live it." 

Too often we judge our success by how many blessings we have; but if we were to do that, how would we measure the life of our Savior at the end of His life?  Remember the betrayals that happened both during and immediately after the Last Supper when one of his disciples betrayed him and another one denied Him?  Remember that the number of those to whom He had ministered--among whom He had lived--that wanted him dead were more vocal and outweighed the number of those who defended him, let alone stood with him.  He had no home, no comfort, no predictability. In fact, in the penultimate moment of His perfect life, He groaned under the weight of it and cried unto His Father that He might not partake of that oh so bitter, that oh so perfect cup!


So when you are "doing what you are supposed to be doing" and your life seems like it is getting "less and less perfect," maybe it's time to re-evaluate what "perfect" means. If you look at the life of the Savior, "perfect" has nothing to do with comfortable.  Nothing to do with fixed.  Nothing to do with paid off.  Nothing to do with a group of friends whom you can rely upon to just sit outside where you are suffering and stay awake. 

Maybe if your life feels imperfect despite all you can do, maybe it is actually more perfect than you realize.  If you are truly devoting yourself to the Savior and trying to become perfect like He is perfect, the result may surprise you. You may feel peace at the end of a stressful but well-intended day and realize that that feeling of peace means it was perfect.  You may do your best in your relationships with those around you and they may reject you or even just ignore you.  At that point when you turn to God to fix it, He may just send that feeling of peace that says that in that moment of your offering and your efforts--in that one moment, in that one thing--you are perfect already.

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You know, that leads me to an interesting idea. Sometimes I think we feel that if we are really doing what God wants us to do perfectly, than that means the results would be perfect.  If I read my scriptures, my day should go well. If I go to the temple, my children should be obedient. If I go to church, then people will be nice to me and accept me. 

Our life is not just about going through the motions to get blessings!  The commandments are just a set of doors to open to unleash the potential for us to live a life that is full of trials and challenges, rich with opportunities to stretch, grow and serve.  We obey the commandments to get us into the right frame of mind to be able to live a purposeful, inspired life!  A life that is unscripted because God wants us to become like Him...a being that has infinitesimal opportunities to make choices.  And God, in His perfected state, works with people who not only ignore and reject Him, but hate Him and purposefully fight against Him.

Now that you maybe have a different understanding of the word

go ahead and Google it--the perfect home, the perfect family, the perfect relationship, the perfect life. And then, with me, shake your head in sadness. We are beating ourselves up--wearing ourselves out-- trying to "arrive," to get to a stage of God-like "perfection" that is actually not God-like at all.

I propose that to truly become perfect may look a lot different than what what you first had in mind.  In fact, you might be a lot closer to "perfect" in the midst of the dirty diapers, dishes, distress, demands, dyslexia, dementia, and debilitation than you realized.