Saturday, February 13, 2021

Sleepless Insanity

It was a brutal last couple days this last week. I saw part of every hour from 3 am Monday morning to midnight on Wednesday night. Wednesday night, I got to miss seeing the 12am...and at 1 am I stopped doing our new alarm system for Eli to help him wake up at night and not wet the bed. Between bed-wetting patrol and baby stirring for food and farts, it was no bueno.

I was horrible inside. My friend Margaret Pace told me that pets can go without food and water but when they go without sleep, they go crazy. Well, that's where I was going. In my prayers, it was hard to approach God—either not wanting to or not feeling worthy after my frustration/anger episodes. I kept it in pretty well all things considered but I was still not happy with it.

Well, I slept from about 2:30 am until 8 am Thursday morning and woke up a new person. The best part was that when I got on my knees once again, I felt like my Heavenly Father immediately, without hesitation, swallowed me up in a big bear hug.

Yes, He will not give us more than we can handle, but sometimes we give ourselves more than we can handle through our choices and priorities. It was an interesting epiphany to have after a few days of ranting and raving to heaven about giving me more than I could handle. 'Twasn't pretty. Hopefully it is over and the lesson is learned. Application will be trickier, for sure, but knowing about the problem is a great start.

Sometimes "just one little thing more," no matter how necessary it may feel, is just one things too much.

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