"Hello, dear friend. I recently read your post about leaving your older kids [all at once in various "transitioning to adult" phases].
"This transition is very challenging. I'm still reeling from it in many ways. This next school year more than half of my children will be mostly not living at home (college break/ holiday visits, etc being the exception).
"Yours has come all at once... definitely the proverbial 'ripping off the bandaid' scenario. I don't think I've ever recovered from my little Isaak's quick and unexpected departure from my home and each new transition still feels so real. I'm so very happy for my children, which makes these changes important. But perhaps this feels similar to what Eve felt leaving the garden...'is there no better way?'
"It reminds me of over of my favorite paintings, which hangs in the forefront of my living room, titled 'Better than Paradise,' by Kendal Ray
The missionaries visiting in our home last night reminded me of it as they discussed the Fall in what I feel was a negative light. My mind caught upon what I feel is a truth I believe: that Eve's choice to embrace mortality (with the pain and contrast so beautifully conveyed in this painting) was a courageous choice.
"It reminded me of how often I measure my choices by their idealistic outcomes-- too often by how 'pain free' they will be... because that means they're the 'right choice,' right?
"I have been diagnosed with severe clinical depression. My therapist suggests that the 'utopic' inner peace I seek as a summation of my choices may ever elude me in this life... and that this is the moment of faith: this choice to carry on, as Frodo did, when all other lights go out."
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