Paying the price of membership
If you want to participate in a fitness club, you pay the price.
If you want to participate as a citizen in a country, you pay the price.
If you want to participate as a member of a religion, you pay the price.
For each society, club, or organization that we "participate" in, we pay a price. Each society has their contract, their terms.
I have thought about this concept a great deal while dealing with people over the past several years of homeschooling. I don't like to exact or demand a high cost to programs. In an ideal world, people each offer what they have that is in abundance of their needs (not their wants) which in turn fills the needs of others who in turn fill the needs of yet others. I have seen this work in smaller scales in homes and organizations and it is a beautiful, especially when offered, not coerced. So I like to offer things that are inexpensive, but have clear expectations of membership.
When those expectations are clear, understood, and accepted, things run smoothly. Not perfectly. Smoothly and synergistically, creating amazing results.
We each do the same thing as we participate in different organizations:
-we sign up for a gym membership, we agree to pay the fees and govern our actions to allow them to function well as a gym for all their participants
-in our families, the parents (and sometimes the children) establish what the expectations are in their family unit that allow them to enjoy full privileges in their society: you treat your sibling poorly, you will be asked to not participate; you don't do the work that is required to run your society, you don't get the privileges of participating in the fun activities that society provides; and etc :)
- in our churches, our religious leaders seek to teach us what God's expectations are, whatever our faith
-in our countries, we have an outline of laws we choose to abide by in order to enjoy full participation in that society...or we are limited--thrown in jail, subject to penalties and fines, etc.
-even in groups like on-line gaming or social clubs, there is an expectation that you must be "up to speed" with whatever is the "hot topic" or "recent upgrade" in order to be considered "a member." Many times we don't even realize we are trying hard to be parts of these clubs!
Again, when the expectations/rules in each society we participate in are clear, understood, and accepted, things run smoothly. Not perfectly, but smoothly and synergistically, creating amazing results. You may feel somewhat limited by the expectations or rules, but you choose to pay this price or obey these rules.
Sometimes I think we forget that our choice is which society to participate in, not necessarily which rules we will abide by within that society. Sometimes, we expect "freedom" within a society from their rules, but still expect full membership and results of what that society offers.
Where do you have membership?
I was thinking about this scenario as I pondered something that I don't think we realize is happening. We are all paying membership to different organizations, with different degrees of loyalty, and sometimes we don't even realize where our strongest loyalties lie.
In our public school systems, we teach our children to obey at all costs, generally. There are a few parents that put law of the family or law of God above law of the school, but not very often. You agree to abide in the political and social society that requires education, right? And you want the A's and accreditation that follows with earning those A's. I know. I did it very well. I went to Yale.
In this setting, we often de-emphasize the agency of the student to participate, because to be educated is one of the conditions of membership in our country, and the consequences are great, not only legally, but because we realize as parents that to be educated affects our childs future. However, sometimes parents go so far as to actually tell a child that their worth is based upon social status, grades, or degree of obedience to the teachers and administrators. We use whatever means we can, ofttimes, to coerce, cajole and compel. We don't tell them: "We think it is a great idea to get an education! The results are important, life-changing, and long lasting--I know this to be true!--but you can choose if you want to do it or not." Rather we pay a lot of time and homage to the god of public education, often forcing it when, as parents, we recognize that our participation in our particular society requires it.
Contrast this with our participation in our churches. As a parent, I find myself emphasizng their agency over their obligation and the long-term potential.
"These are God's laws, but make sure you recognize you have your agency to choose to abide those laws. Love you no matter what!"
Of course, there is always agency. Of course, we will love them (or should love them) no matter what. However, once we have "signed-up" as members through baptism or whatever other ordinances our religions require, we are under certain obligations that are far more lasting and of greater eternal significance than those we are under as part of a nation.
But do we teach this? Do we prioritize this? Do we model this?
Where do our greater loyalties lie?
In our minds, perhaps we say our loyalties lie with God. But what do our actions say? In our daily priorities, loyalties, and actions, which price of membership do we pay first?
Our kids are watching. I think it is not wonder that youth often leave the churches of their childhood upon becoming adults, having been shown and told for years in actions and words that the gods of science and government trump the God of our faith. We or others around us have modeled that the gods of the social groups and online communities have priority in our hours of worship over the God of our souls.
We pay the many prices of membership daily:
-time
-money
-obedience
-loyalty
...and our children are watching. And learning. And modeling.
If you want your children to bow to the altar of technology and modern science, the altar of governmental authority, policies, and curriculum, that is up to you. Just make sure you are making that choice mindful that you are, in fact, actually making a choice of where your membership lies.
If you want to participate in a fitness club, you pay the price. If you want to participate as a citizen in a country, you pay the price.
If you want to participate as a member of a religion, you pay the price.
For each society, club, or organization that we "participate" in, we pay a price. Each society has their contract, their terms.
I have thought about this concept a great deal while dealing with people over the past several years of homeschooling. I don't like to exact or demand a high cost to programs. In an ideal world, people each offer what they have that is in abundance of their needs (not their wants) which in turn fills the needs of others who in turn fill the needs of yet others. I have seen this work in smaller scales in homes and organizations and it is a beautiful, especially when offered, not coerced. So I like to offer things that are inexpensive, but have clear expectations of membership.
When those expectations are clear, understood, and accepted, things run smoothly. Not perfectly. Smoothly and synergistically, creating amazing results.
We each do the same thing as we participate in different organizations:
-we sign up for a gym membership, we agree to pay the fees and govern our actions to allow them to function well as a gym for all their participants
-in our families, the parents (and sometimes the children) establish what the expectations are in their family unit that allow them to enjoy full privileges in their society: you treat your sibling poorly, you will be asked to not participate; you don't do the work that is required to run your society, you don't get the privileges of participating in the fun activities that society provides; and etc :)- in our churches, our religious leaders seek to teach us what God's expectations are, whatever our faith
-in our countries, we have an outline of laws we choose to abide by in order to enjoy full participation in that society...or we are limited--thrown in jail, subject to penalties and fines, etc.
-even in groups like on-line gaming or social clubs, there is an expectation that you must be "up to speed" with whatever is the "hot topic" or "recent upgrade" in order to be considered "a member." Many times we don't even realize we are trying hard to be parts of these clubs!
Again, when the expectations/rules in each society we participate in are clear, understood, and accepted, things run smoothly. Not perfectly, but smoothly and synergistically, creating amazing results. You may feel somewhat limited by the expectations or rules, but you choose to pay this price or obey these rules.
Sometimes I think we forget that our choice is which society to participate in, not necessarily which rules we will abide by within that society. Sometimes, we expect "freedom" within a society from their rules, but still expect full membership and results of what that society offers.
Where do you have membership?
I was thinking about this scenario as I pondered something that I don't think we realize is happening. We are all paying membership to different organizations, with different degrees of loyalty, and sometimes we don't even realize where our strongest loyalties lie.
In our public school systems, we teach our children to obey at all costs, generally. There are a few parents that put law of the family or law of God above law of the school, but not very often. You agree to abide in the political and social society that requires education, right? And you want the A's and accreditation that follows with earning those A's. I know. I did it very well. I went to Yale.In this setting, we often de-emphasize the agency of the student to participate, because to be educated is one of the conditions of membership in our country, and the consequences are great, not only legally, but because we realize as parents that to be educated affects our childs future. However, sometimes parents go so far as to actually tell a child that their worth is based upon social status, grades, or degree of obedience to the teachers and administrators. We use whatever means we can, ofttimes, to coerce, cajole and compel. We don't tell them: "We think it is a great idea to get an education! The results are important, life-changing, and long lasting--I know this to be true!--but you can choose if you want to do it or not." Rather we pay a lot of time and homage to the god of public education, often forcing it when, as parents, we recognize that our participation in our particular society requires it.
Contrast this with our participation in our churches. As a parent, I find myself emphasizng their agency over their obligation and the long-term potential.
"These are God's laws, but make sure you recognize you have your agency to choose to abide those laws. Love you no matter what!"
Of course, there is always agency. Of course, we will love them (or should love them) no matter what. However, once we have "signed-up" as members through baptism or whatever other ordinances our religions require, we are under certain obligations that are far more lasting and of greater eternal significance than those we are under as part of a nation.
But do we teach this? Do we prioritize this? Do we model this?
Where do our greater loyalties lie?
In our minds, perhaps we say our loyalties lie with God. But what do our actions say? In our daily priorities, loyalties, and actions, which price of membership do we pay first?
Our kids are watching. I think it is not wonder that youth often leave the churches of their childhood upon becoming adults, having been shown and told for years in actions and words that the gods of science and government trump the God of our faith. We or others around us have modeled that the gods of the social groups and online communities have priority in our hours of worship over the God of our souls.
We pay the many prices of membership daily:
-time
-money
-obedience
-loyalty
...and our children are watching. And learning. And modeling.
If you want your children to bow to the altar of technology and modern science, the altar of governmental authority, policies, and curriculum, that is up to you. Just make sure you are making that choice mindful that you are, in fact, actually making a choice of where your membership lies.
“For where your treasure is (or where you spend your treasure), there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:21
Our membership counts in whatever we enroll in. For the organization and for us. Great thoughts! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLove that thought, mom! I have also been thinking about how membership comes at a cost. We force our kids to wake up every morning, do the homework, and even face bullying! I just read an article about a child who cries every day going to school because of bullying, she sought and received a blessing from her father, and then still kept going. It didn't change the bullying, but it changed her. Are we willing to pay that price for membership in the kingdom of God? Do we encourage or model that for our children as much as we stress the obligation to schools, government or employers?
ReplyDeleteThe application of these ideas will look different for everyone. My intention is just to encourage us to evaluate where our loyalties lie on a deeper level.
I love the talk that president Thomas S. Monson gave, thank you for posting it. :)
ReplyDelete