Who Do We See?

My son showed me this picture yesterday.  Love it :).

Which of Them Will Love Him Most?

I was just reading the account of the sinful woman who brings costly ointment to the Savior and washes his feet, with her hair and her tears.  I was touched by the interplay between the three in that room that are mentioned:  Christ, the Pharisee named Simon and the woman.  Simon has invited the Savior for supper and has no doubt made it a good one.  The woman comes in and Simon is disgusted probably not only that she is there, ruining his feast, but that the Savior would actually let her touch him.

I think about the woman as Christ relates the following parable in Luke 7:

 41 There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred ^apence, and the other fifty.
 42 And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly ^aforgavethem both. ^bTell me therefore, which of them will love him most?

I feel like that woman, so desperately needing the forgiveness of the Lord and felt a kinship with that sinful woman.  I do love him, probably more especially because he has forgiven so much.

Then I wondered something more: do I ever look sideways at others who are seeking Christ the same way that Pharisee did?

"I'm serving the Savior. And I am doing it the right way."
"That person is a sinner.  What are they doing here?"
"My offering is better.  What are they thinking by even trying?"

I wonder if that was part of the problem with Mary and Martha.  Yes, Martha is wonderful; I think we have all heard that.  But the truth of the situation is that Christ admonishes her and says that Mary has chosen the better part.    Perhaps it is because both Mary and the sinful woman were making it more about coming to the Savior and less focus on what their own offering was?  Perhaps both the Pharisee and Martha were thinking more about themselves and less about the Savior.  Maybe not.  The sinful woman was not necessarily listening but was serving just as Martha was.  Hmmmm...maybe I am falling into the same trap by judging Martha? :)

Maybe it all boils down to listening to what the Savior tells us in our hearts and not judging others for what they are doing in response to their own promptings: Martha was told to choose something better for doing something like what the sinful woman was doing.  Maybe that is the greater lesson...don't judge?

Seems like I have heard that one before :).

Deep Symbolism of "The Ultimate Gift"

Maybe it is a no brainer, but as I was watching "The Ultimate Gift" yesterday with my kids, it struck me that it is far more than teaching us how to appreciate and live a better life.  To me, it seems like this is like the relationship between our Heavenly Father and us.

(available on Vidangel for $1 or Amazon for about $3, I understand)

He has a series of lessons for us, challenging and perspective changing, which requires us to take action.  At one point, the grandfather says that the first gifts the grandson learned were pretty straightforward but that the last ones required a little more on the grandson's part to make them meaningful and effective.

I feel like that is like us and captures the beautiful relationship between grace and works.  God has greatness and glory for us: we need to do things that either open our eyes or show our trust in Him in order to prepare for them...or even receive them!  This spoiled young man was unable to get the gift of personal family happiness until he put himself in the awkward position of trying to be grateful when it was hard...trying to sacrifice for others which ran counter to all he was raised to believe and live.

But when he acted, he learned and gained these precious gifts.  However, in the end, it was the greatness and glory and grace of his grandfather that gave him what the world would term "the ultimate gift" of the 2 billion dollar inheritance.  It was the grace that saw a truly humbled if imperfect heart totally turned over to doing the work his grandfather had been doing in his life.  "It is by grace ye are saved after all ye can do."

I contest that the ultimate gift was not the money but in a heart reborn and completely dedicated to his grandfather's work: the money was merely the means with which to carry out those noble desires to bless others.

Can you see the amazing parallels?!  Our Father has a series of tests and experiences for us to change our hearts, to receive these gifts he has for us.

"Every blessing we receive is predicated upon obedience to some law..."

After we go through these tests (however imperfectly) it is the changed heart that we will have when we stand before our God, our God that we have shut out sometimes as the young man shut out his grandfather...our God who loves us and has so much faith in us.

In the end, the grandfather says something about how if the young man got to that point, then he would have exceeded all the grandfather's expectations and hopes.

The cool thing is that if we get to that point, we will just be reaching that potential that God saw within us all along. :)

Maybe the movie makers intended the symbolism, but somehow I wonder if God worked his miracles once again and made something like Les Miserables with multiple depths.  All I know is I love what it has done for me!

Don't miss out on your Ultimate Gift: a changed, a God-like heart.

Being Held

Missin' my Isaak right now. Tomorrow would have been his 17th birthday. I don't often picture things like that...I still see him as that little boy I last saw so many years ago.
We bought balloons for him tonight and I sat and cried in the car as I listened to Casting Crowns "Just Be Held." I am so grateful to know I will be able to hold him again someday just as my Savior is holding me when things feel so hard.
I am so grateful my God never gave up on me and still holds me.

Hold it all together

Everybody needs you strong

But life hits you out of nowhere

And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There's freedom in surrender

Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away

You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place

I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm

You'll wonder if I love you still

But if your eyes are on the cross

You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted

In time, you'll understand

I'm painting beauty with the ashes

Your life is in My hands

The Widow's Mite

My brain tickles about doing an earlier post about this concept.  I guess some lessons need more than once to take...or there are different levels of learning happening.  

Yesterday, I was blessed to teach about the widow's mite in seminary. (1 min clip)

After we watched it I felt inspired to share how perhaps those around us are very emotionally or spiritually poor.  Perhaps that young man that drives with us to mutual is giving his two mites just to show up each week when he comes from an emotionally abusive and love-deprived environment.  Maybe those people at church that we so easily judge for not serving more or doing better in their callings are giving their widow's mites.  Are we the Pharisees who have emotional, physical and spiritual wealth, giving of our largess compared to the new convert for whom it takes everything just to show up at church every so often?

It reminded me of President Hinckley's quote: "All the Lord wants us to do is try...but you have to really try."

The following scripture took on deeper meaning to me in my "perfection-driven" psyche:

27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order. (Mosiah 4:27)

I "found" this scripture when looking for the reference and direct quote for the previous one:

4 Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided to enable you to translate; but be diligent unto the end. (D&C 10:4) 

I never really noticed the caveat that came after both of these: "it is expedient that he should be diligent" and " be diligent unto the end."  Neither of the phrases allow for a cop-out.  The widow gave of all she had.  We are exhorted in covenants in our church to give of all that we have to the Lord's work.

I have found the limits of my strength, at least the current ones.  "It is not requisite."  A beautiful phrase.  I have been holding myself to the ideal of a woman with no need for sleep and more than 24 hours in my day.  You should see all the things I want to do!  All good things :).

But apparently I have not yet really learned why we are bound by time and limited means in this life. I still beat myself up occasionally with an imaginary divine standard (although I am getting better). The Lord promises in the scripture of the widow's mite that "blessed is this poor widow."  Blessed.  Ahhhh, that divine approval.   And it comes with so little!

Yesterday I was at the temple after weeks of frustration in trying to set up an appointment and having all the necessary items there.  My attendance at the temple has been laced with grief and frustration almost all summer, almost a challenge to my faith as to whether or not I will still attend.  However, knowing that the need to go to the temple out-weighs my offence at policy and procedure, I have not-so-humbly continued to attend.  Anyway, going back to yesterday, I brought the stack of family names that I have been eager to start working on.  We had about 30 females and I asked how many we could do.  The gentleman said that they had five there that they wanted to have us do, if that was alright, and then we could do five more along with those temple names.

As I sat there with those 25 "extra" names in my hands, I plead heaven-ward: surely we can just do at least a few more?  After all, this is Thy work and is so important for every soul.

The answer came back very simply: Daughter, I am content with your widow's mite.

At the end of my day yesterday, I felt a tender mercy.  As I reflected on my diverse day of spiritual/educational highs to "mommy crash moments" of horrible deflation of children's self-esteem, I felt a gentle assurance that I had given my widow's mite and that God was happy with me.  I needed to keep trying, that was a given, but he was satisfied with my widow's mite.  As I felt lightened by the prospect, I heard a little chuckle and the following phrase drifted into my mind:
"The Lord loveth a cheerful giver."

Good point.

If He is truly satisfied as I give my all--the full extent of my strength, not measured in headlong pushing nor in excessive busy-ness (my day was a good balance of push and pause)--then I can be happy.  The world of possible joyful endurance opened up before me.  I felt giddy.  I even woke up and thought politically and historically with joy at 3 am before reasoning myself back to sleep again.  And then when I woke up again, I woke up laughing. (Quinn asked if there was anything wrong :D.)

Wrong?  No.  Things are very right.  As I was able to have my mind open to consider accepting and recognizing might be the widow's mite of those around me, my own self-condemnation was tapered and again, I felt joy.  Blissful contentment.  And an enthusiasm to joyfully explore the capacity of my strength and ability to be still today.