motherhood

Okay, I cannot be done for the morning. The following has been on my mind, and I feel that I should share it/articulate it, whether for my own reflection or for others, I do not know.

The other day, a woman spoke with me about how frustrating it is to be limited by being a mom, not able to fulfill her "element" (Robison's book, I think is the author, ..."The Element".) I briefly share with her my conviction that no woman can find complete satisfaction pursuing personal development outside of her role as a wife and mother. (For those unable to do either, I know that the Lord compensates, but that is for another day!)

Brushing that off, she went on to describe an example, how she used to love cooking, but now it seemed as though her kids were always getting in the way of making it work like it used to, and now she had no delight in something she used to love. "How, Mary? How do you be a mom and still have time to be yourself and find your element??"

This has been on my mind lately, and I wish that I could have articulated my reply that night, but here it is.

I truly believe that we, as women, are first and foremost nurturers, creators, bringers of light and comfort to our families. This is our primary element. The beautiful part of this is that "nurturing" can look different to each woman; each woman has the ability to create sometime uniquely hers..."her element". For instance, my sister-in-law in Florida has the amazing gift to enjoy her children. I watched in awe as she spent a good amount of time (it may have been only 5 minutes, but it seemed like a long, long time :)...) "nibbling" her plump little 7 month old...and enjoying it! "I thought, 'Wow.' That's all I could say was, 'wow.'" (as quoted from "Lily's Purple Plastic Purse") She is an amazing nurturer! I felt so inadequate, watching her. Yet, I have come to realize that my children need my kind of nurturing...my personal element.

How can it be that we can truly "find ourselves", "have 'me' time" and enjoy progression while being a mom? When we find ways to develop our talents and "find our element" while serving our family, we will find joy unspeakable.

Now, I have the unique opportunity to exercise many talents while teaching my children in a homeschooling environment. My knowledge of science, history, math, grammar (I can spell it right now!), and many other subjects has increased tremendously as I re-learn to teach them. However, it is more than that. When I increase my talent for playing the piano in order to bring peace to the home, as I use my talent for cooking to teach my children how to move past "failure" point, as I learn side-by-side with my kids how to paint scenery, build a chicken coop, and serve others, I am being a mom first and foremost and enjoying the sweet satisfaction of finding out more fully what my element is...and what it is not! (Thank goodness for electronically gifted friends!)

There is a way to increase our talents side-by-side with parenting. Yet perhaps even more significantly, the talents to snuggle, clean, beautify, laugh, read, serve, love, listen, accept, forgive, support, hug the unhuggable,...nurture are much, much, much more important talents than we realize.

The world (and Satan!) does not validate these talents, but they are essential to creation. To give the child the gift of knowing that they are loved, that they are of worth, that they matter is huge, and will give them the confidence to do anything they need to in this life.

The worth of souls is truly great in the sight of God, and there is no other capacity that we can make more of a difference than in the lives of our children or those we are called upon to nurture, to love, to support.

Now I just need to remember that in my own life, right? :)...on those days when I am pulling out my hair, frustrated by that "one more mess!" that I need to clean up, wanting some peace and quiet, confronted by all that I am not doing while being a mom. However, most of the time, I realize that, at the end of the day, if I have told each of my kids I love them, borne testimony to them, and hugged each of them, there is truly little else that matters as much or brings as much satisfaction and peace.

I am in my element!