hope

I have been "stuck" in 1 Nephi lately in the Book of Mormon..."stuck" because there have been so many incredible lessons in there for me for my time of life right now! It is incredible. I used to feel like it was a nice story, a fun and exciting way to begin a book of scripture to draw people in as they study the truthfulness of it all, you know, to give them something to keep them going through 2 Nephi :). Well, this amazing part of an amazing book has truly been the voice of God to me through the scriptures over the past few weeks and I would like to share a little of it with you.

Early this morning I had my typical once a month (and sometimes once a week!) moment of, "How in the world can I do all that I feel that God wants me to do?!" For those who know me well, they know that I have quite a few things going on, and, as I have prayed about what to let go, it's like I hear a little chuckle up in heaven and an answer, "You'll be fine, Mary. Remember, this is My work."

Well, I am always concerned though...am I doing what He wants me to do? I am fully aware that I am unable to do all that I do, and have seen His incredible, incredible enabling power make miracles in my life as things come together and He still gives me time to do, well, some laundry :). (Some weeks my house is definitely more clean than others, but I think that this is just because He knows how soothing that is for my soul :)!) However, there are always those moments of doubt...

So this last week, I have run across a few gems in 1 Nephi that have been running through my mind in answer to my prayers.

Nephi knew that the Lord had commanded Lehi's family to retrieve the plates from Laban. However, he didn't see a way. In fact, their first two attempts to get them ended in perceived failure and life-threatening situations. (I can relate to the "failure" part :)!) Yet, as I learned from Edison when we studied him last year in my youth group, "failure" is an incredibly powerful learning tool of how not to do something! Through those two instances of "failure", Nephi learned (or I did, anyway) some great lessons:
1) From his first attempt: Just because I know something is the will of God, doesn't mean that others always do--but that doesn't mean it ceases to be the will of God.
2) From his second attempt: the angels are on hand to step in when it is really bleak, but in the meanwhile, they are around us, supporting us, and God is always, always aware of where we are at.

So...the first two attempts were not a waste of time.

Well, the third attempt has been intensely on my mind this morning as I look at what I need to do to get ready for my kid's play, fix my chicken coops rapidly disintegrating roost, share vision of my youth group with those incredible youth who are currently transitioning into adulthood, rotate our clothing in the house so my babies are no longer running around in shorts, take care of my callings, doing enough of that previously mentioned laundry to keep everyone in socks...preferably matching ones at that...and minimize the stink caused by a 2, almost 3, year old who keeps putting on panties when my back is turned, supporting my husband with wise use of resources and a joyful countenance, and just plain being a mom who loves her kids--doesn't neglect them!-- and teaches them (I do homeschool, you know :)... and we need to do that every once in a while).

So...back to the third attempt.

As I cast my thoughts heavenward this morning, the scripture in 1 Nephi 3:7 again went through my mind, that I know that the Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men, save He shall prepare a way for them to accomplish the thing which He hath commanded them. So I pled, "I know there is a way--wilt thou please show me how?" What I had read in 1 Nephi 4:6 ran through my mind at that point, "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do..." and it was probably a good thing for Nephi, too, this "not knowing"! Because what was about to be asked to do in order to do the Lord's will? Slay a man....kill someone!

Okay, okay...I know that I don't need to kill anyone to get done what the Lord wants :), but it gave me pause to think. Sometimes, the Lord answers us with unconventional answers, ways of doing things that may seem impractical and unrealistic, and, maybe, just wrong to others. Now, I am not saying that I am going to go and violate any of the commandments at this point :). It just struck me, as I plead that He would lead me as He did Nephi to accomplish His work, that I should be ready for any answer He might give me.

Perhaps the answer will be to "let it go" on some things, and "charge forward" on others.

Do I trust Him enough? I must, and I will, for He has never let me fall before...He has just allowed me to learn a great deal, and shown me the miraculous wonders of His hand that supports us as we imperfectly seek to do His will...

...the cracked pot, remember?