Article on counseling and unity

I read this great article on counseling as couples from the recent issue of the Ensign, and a couple things really struck me about being effective counselors together, whether in the church, as a couple, or in other organizations where we work with other people to gain a consensus.

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/06/counseling-together-in-marriage?lang=eng

"Elder M. Russell Ballard explained that the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles comes to a united decision before they act on any issue: “We discuss a wide variety of issues, from Church administration to world events, and we do so frankly and openly. Sometimes issues are discussed for weeks, months, and occasionally even years before a decision is made.”¹ Unity is so important that they will not move forward with a decision until unity has been achieved." (Under Principle 1)

I think some times we are so eager to move forward with decisions that we need to take time to stop, ponder, and really consider the viewpoint of one another.  Of course, even as I write this I think..."but, surely, there has to be exceptions!  How can we truly be united about every decision before making it?"  I think of the times that I tell two of my children who are quarreling that they must stay together until they work it out, and one of them deliberately withholds their consensus in a move of power over the other :S.  Argh!

I love the follow-up counsel, with my obvious favorite parts emphasized :)....

"It is not uncommon for couples to struggle in coming to a unanimous decision, especially when the issue at hand is significant. Further, when spouses are more concerned with being right than with gaining consensus, “communication with Heavenly Father breaks down, [and] communication between spouses also breaks down. And Heavenly Father will not interfere. He doesn’t generally intrude where He is not invited.”⁴ The key is to actually invite—rather than exclude—our Heavenly Father into our discussions. If we humbly work together and listen to each other, we gain the essential blessing of the Lord’s guidance.

It is important to make united decisions with the guidance of the Spirit—especially if the decision doesn’t seem logically to be the best choice. President George Q. Cannon (1827–1901), First Counselor in the First Presidency, explained that the Lord sustains the counsel of united leaders and that He will improve their less-than-perfect plan and will “supplement it by His wisdom and power and make it effective.”⁵ This promise is offered to all councils, including couples." (ibid)

Powerful!  I love that the key is truly to invite Heavenly Father to be a part of our counsels.  I am one that tends to drive Him away with my arrogance and stubborn pride in counsels.   It reminds me of when Joseph Smith was translating the plates, had an argument with Emma that morning, couldn't translate, and had to go and fix it first.  I have experienced this (obviously not while translating :), but while working on projects or parenting)-- we cannot do God's work if we do not have Him with us.

I also love, love, love the promise that "He will improve [our] less-than-perfect plan and will 'supplement it by His wisdom and power and make it effective.'"  INCREDIBLE!!  It reminds me of my recent favorite book--next to the Book of Mormon.  I read it for the millionth time this morning (I like talking like my kids, sometimes), and still found myself weeping over it's many meanings.  It is called "The Apple Pip Princess" by Jane Ray...available at libraries in Davis County and Salt Lake, but I had to purchase on for my own to take to Hungary.

Anyway, in "The Apple Pip Princess" the youngest sister is striving to show her father that she can do something, and she chooses a path that is riddled with meaning, but the part I want to emphasize that is relevant to the above quote is when she is discouraged, at the eve of the seventh day, the day before her Father comes to evaluate which of his daughters is worthy of His kingdom.  The once-desolate land around her is now green with the haze of fresh seedlings, evidence of her work over the past six days, but she knows that it is not enough.  Her friend turns to her and says, "your work with grow."  

The next morning, she awakens to find the land full of trees, shrubs and crops to feed the people that she and her family rule over, the people who in the past six days have rallied around her and helped in her work.  I felt so strongly that God will magnify our efforts, just as this little girl's seemingly "not-enough" efforts were magically multiplied to benefit her land. 

Then, reading this article, it struck me that He can do the same with the united decisions we make.  I have been in situations many times, where I feel the consensus was less than ideal, from my perspective, anyway :).  To think that He will honor the sacrifice, humility and trust of our consensus, when done in the presence of His Holy Spirit, and "supplement it by His wisdom, power, and make it effective"!!!  So cool!!