"Saving your marriage"

There is so much discussion about marriage in the world around us--from society wide discussions about it's deterioration and definition (see a great article about the latter by my very own dad!-- http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765579204/Adjusting-the-definition-of-marriage.html),  to more local and personal discussions about individual marriages of friends and family members that are struggling.

My heart is very tender about this subject, having seen the suffering of those in abusive or strained relationships first-hand lately.

 So...when I saw the title of a clip on lds.org "Saving Your Marriage", I was naturally curious.  It is at the following link, and is only 2 min 15 sec. :)...
http://www.lds.org/pages/mormon-messages?lang=eng#saving-your-marriage

Then!  I was reading in this fascinating book, "Circle of Quiet" by L'Engle, in which she has her own opinion about why the youth are so jaded about marriage and promises in general:

They have trial marriages, or just share a pad rather than entering into relatinoships which are intended to last for life, often following the example of parents who have separated or divorced, with the concomitant philosophy that if you try marriage and it doesn't work, you quit.  They are rebelling not against our morality and discipline but against our lack of morality and our lack of discipline. They are are unwilling to commit themselves with promises of fidelity in relationships because they have known too many grownups make these promises and then break them as though they didn't matter.

Somehow or other, promises...must be redeemed.

[Some youth ask]: But isn't it better not to make the promises at all?  Isn't it more honest?

I shook my head. "No. I don't think so.  And I think i do have a right to talk to you about this, because I've been married to the same man for almost twenty-five years, and we love each other more now than we did twenty-five years ago.  When we were married we made promises, and we took them seriously.  No relationship between two people which is worth anything is static...There've been a number of times in my marriage when--if I hadn't made promises--I'd have quit."

...Perhaps we made [the promises] youthfully, and blindly, not knowing all that was implied; but the very promises have been a saving grace.

I thought this quote went excellently with the video article!