One of the blessings of staying with my parents was to be able to see my dad in action as ward mission leader. He is amazing at it. He knows the names of those he is serving, their lives, their interests; he visits them frequently and is willing to rush over to help at the drop of the hat; he is committed to teaching them weekly at church and with the missionaries, whenever he can. This, I believe, is similar to how he home teaches and has been for years. I love to see him when he is working with them, and the glow or concern he has on his face after he works with them...all born out of love.
Last night as I was thinking about this, I was struck with a powerful parallel to parenting.
What if we treated our eternal calling of parenthood like my dad does his calling as a mission leader?
Just think about it! There are several keys that I believe makes him successful and I think they would be powerful tools in parenting:
-He discusses with the ward council each person and their needs and progress over the past week and month. How often do we discuss each of our kids from that perspective? Not how much they are driving you crazy, or which clubs or lessons they need to be at, but their spiritual needs and concerns?
-He and the ward council or missionaries come up with a plan of action--something they can do now to either improve their relationships with that person or ways that they can invite them to feel the Spirit.
-He prays about them individually (I believe), and acts on that inspiration (that, I've seen firsthand)...whether it is in the middle of a previously planned event or something that seems strange.
-He calls them, visits them weekly, one-on-one...a visit with the express interest of finding out how they are or how he can help. (Yes, my dad is amazing.)
-He accepts them, whatever stage they are at, and recognizes and celebrates their progress--as a hypothetical example, let's say, they were smoking 20 packs a week and are down to 10, he reports that to the council with excitement about their progress...even if they haven't quit. I have seen him mourn with them as they have tragedies in their lives, become interested in their jobs or things they sell and support them in it...all out of genuine love.
-He goes back and reports on their progress, expresses hope and concern, and then re-vamps the plan as necessary. Then once again, he moves forward with hope. He acts.
I could take each of these and draw the obvious parallels to parenting, but right now the Spirit is whispering one or two I could start with (discussing the kid's individually with Quinn and coming up with plans of action to do now--not just "wait and see," praying about them individually, celebrating small successes...), and I want to move forward.
Why is it we distance ourselves from our parenting responsibilities and just go through the motions? Does it hurt too much? Is it too personal? Is it just easier to pray from a distance and hope? Are we looking for what we can do now? Are we celebrating where our kids are at? Does it seem like it is just going to take forever, anyway, so we put it off? (We are in it forever, right :) ?)
Just some thoughts...
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