From whence? ...and "what is my pennyworth?"

For the past several times of going to read my scriptures, I find my place in John 6 and cannot get past the first section of that chapter:

 3 And Jesus went up into a mountain, and there he sat with his disciples.

 4 And the ^apassover, a feast of the Jews, was nigh.

 5 ¶When Jesus then lifted up his eyes, and saw a great company come unto him, he saith unto Philip, Whence shall we buy bread, that these may eat?

So many times, I feel, "from whence will come the resources I need to do what God would have me do...or even do the dishes?"

 

 6 And this he said to prove him: for he himself knew what he would do.

But how many times does he ask us this, just to prove us and our faith?

 

 7 Philip answered him, Two hundred pennyworth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may take a little.

I certainly look at my resources, my imperfections, etc. and see that "my pennyworth is not sufficient for them, that every one that seems to need me, not the least of which is my children and dear husband, may take a very, very little.

 

 8 One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, saith unto him,

 9 There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many?

We have those around us that have resources, but what they have to offer, to join with our faith, may also seem so little.

 

 10 And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about ^afive thousand.

Act in faith.  Stop, stand still.  He knows what He is doing.

 

 11 And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given ^athanks, ...

Give thanks for what God has given us: like it says in Alma 37:37, let us rise in the morning with our hearts full of thanks...not at the end of the day, but at the beginning, before we set out at our work ahead of us...

... he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down; and likewise of the fishes as much as they would.

Not only feeding the immediate urgency of their hunger, but "as much as they would"!

 

 12 When they were filled, he said unto his disciples, Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be ^alost.

And there was food to spare...far more than what was there originally.

I need to learn this lesson. I need to act in faith.  I need to not get discouraged.  I need to not listen to the voices of doubt in my mind, those voice that ask those same questions, "From whence?"  "What can your pennyworth possibly do?"

I have the great example of my parents on their mission.  They came to a branch that was so small and they both felt the weight of the immense work ahead of them.  As they have moved forward in love and faith, you can see the miracles multiplying exponentially around them, as the branch in Ravensburg grows and thrives.  They are instruments, welcoming and ushering in the miracles of God through their own loaves and fishes.  

Why is it I can see it so freely in the lives of others, but not in my own?  Why can I not see that with the people I work with, whose abilities may be child-like and seem as limited as my own, ...that, together, as we have faith, miracles will happen?

Faith, Mary,...faith.