Parenting Lesson #8: Failure With Grace

I like Sundays as a time to reflect on my week and think about the week ahead.A thought just occurred to me...imagine a week without any Sundays, any pause.  Yuck!  My understanding of the gift of the Sabbath is getting deeper and deeper. I mean, what a gift that we have a chance each week to stop, pause and reflect and re-commit!

This morning I was reflecting upon my last week and it came to my mind the one thing that God told me to do this week: watch a bunch of TED talks and "I am a Mormon" blurbs.

How many did we watch?  Zero.

Hmmmm....

I thought back about what got in the way.  "I have to take time to provide for the kids!!" I protested.  The scripture came to my mind:

Matthew 10:29 Are not two ^asparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.
 30 But the very ^ahairs of your head are all numbered.
 31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more ^avalue than many^bsparrows.

And this one:

Matthew 6: 28 And why take ye thought for raiment? ^aConsider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
 29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
 30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, ^ashall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little ^bfaith?
 31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

 32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father ^aknoweth that ye have need of all these things.  

33 ^aBut ^bseek ye first the ^ckingdom of God, and his^drighteousness; and all these ^ethings shall be ^fadded unto you.

 Okay.  If God knows that I need to take care of the kids and he gives me a commandment, I know He will provide a way.  In fact, my daughter Tova sent me a scripture chain this week that apparently was a God-sent message of confirmation to trust Him.

Here´s some amazing scriptures in case I didn´t send them before :) : 1 Nephi 3:7;17:3 Genesis 18:14, Luke 1:37, Romans 4:21(13-22 are amazing, as well). See also 1 Nephi 17:50

I think that Nephi could be the ultimate example of prayer. For examples see chapter 7, 16, 18, and others.

So, again.  I didn't watch one single video this week.

I started beating myself up emotionally and then paused.  Okay.  I didn't do it now.  How can I do it differently next time?  What will I do next time?  I recommitted to acting on promptings.  I lay there, still feeling pretty lousy about failure.  Then the Spirit brought to mind a parenting experience from this week that helped me put it into perspective:

I was folding laundry in the bathroom when I heard a "shlop, shlop" on the ground behind me.  Looking back, there was my baby carefully plopping soggy toilet paper on the ground.  My worst fears were realized when I discovered he got that toilet paper by reaching in the toilet that hadn't been flushed.  Ach!!!!!!  I quickly grabbed him and sanitized his hands and then started hollering the names of the probable culprits.  The two guilty little girl parties came in hesitantly.  I am sure they could sense my heightened emotion."I don't know which of you did this, but look???  See what nastiness happened because you didn't flush the toilet?"

Dramatic pause.  Hanging heads.  "Ewww, gross" was an appropriate response.

I took a deep breath and for once let the Spirit help me continue.

"Now, I am not really mad about this, just frustrated at how gross this is and how dangerous it is for the baby.  Can you see that?" They could sense that I wasn't directing anger at them and this gave them a chance to really consider the problem and not just defend themselves against a scary angry mom.

"I am going to clean this up, but I want you guys to remember to always flush the toilet, okay?"  They both quickly volunteered to help clean up the mess (I let them use the disinfectant wipes after I had taken care of the bulk of the mess) and they were one their way.

Several times this week I have tried to explain to the kids, using a new parenting strategy for me, that when they make mistakes, it is not the end of the world.  Just try not to do it again.  And I don't get mad. (That last part is the biggest part of the strategy, le sigh...)

This same phrase came to my idealistic mind this morning as I lay in bed, beating myself up for not following such a simple prompting.  My own oft-repeated counsel floated through my head:

As long as you learned from this failure, then you're okay.  Just keep trying.

I have spoken that phrase often enough with love this last week that I am starting to feel the love that God has when He tells me that self-same phrase.  Was it wrong that I didn't follow the prompting?  Yes.  Does that mean I should give up?  Get mad?  Pout?  No.  Should I firm up my resolution to act on promptings more readily, my trustingly?  Yes...just as I want that same thing for my children when they do something wrong.  And I know that God has confidence in and love for me just as I do for my children.

Again...love your neighbor as yourself.  As I am learning to love my children despite and even with their weaknesses, I am learning to do the same with my own.

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Funny thing?  When I came downstairs to blog about this, guess what was on the screen?

The peace we all seek requires us to act—by learning of Jesus Christ, by listening to His words, and by walking with Him. 

God is with me and He wants me to keep trying :).  Thank goodness He doesn't give up on me!