This is a pretty vulnerable post, so please be forgiving. I was going to just keep it in my private journal, but the Spirit said to share it. Here's hoping that someone else can benefit from my journey.
*****
I was on facebook and hurting for a friend. I want her to know of my love. I know that I am imperfect and probably hurt her in my imperfection but it is not intentional. I know that I love her.
I spend a great deal of my time trying not to hurt people. It is important to me because I hate to see people hurting. I hate it when my stupidity, ignorance, selfishness or failings make other people suffer. I think it is one of my deepest fears.
As I was thinking of this friend, the "If" poem by Kipling came to mind:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise...
It struck me that if I do love someone and am genuine in my actions (however imperfect) and if I continue to show my love for them, it will eventually work out. All truth will come to light. They will see that I am genuine and my love is real. I do not need to convince them in the moment. I can just be constant, peacefully following promptings or inclinations or desires to reach out to them in love. When it is rebuffed or (my own worst case scenario) misunderstood, it hurts. However, it doesn't need to define our eternal relationship. Humorously enough, the scene from "What about Bob?" comes to mind, when he refers to people being "disconnected" for a bit, but that he will try them again later if it doesn't work out right then.
I love many people. People are easy to love, I find. But then the part of "proving" my love has gotten a little wacko. I worry that they do not feel my love. I worry that my love isn't enough. I worry that I am too goofy, too thoughtless, too busy to love them enough so that they know it. And so I try too hard. Or I don't try enough.
So this epiphany is pretty freeing for me: that if I just love people with what I have and what I can give, it is enough. It may not be enough in the moment for them to know that I love them, but it will eventually be proven by little acts here and there that the constancy of my love is there.
What is love? Good question. When I think of what it means to love people, ideas like "acceptance," "nonjudgmental," "supportive," "embracing and enjoying differences and uniqueness" come to mind.
The passage on charity in Moroni is pretty defining:
I am no saint. I am not perfect in my love for anyone nor my demonstration of it. Years ago when I started realizing what a selfish, judgmental person I had become, I began to plead for true charity, which is a gift from God, not something that we just learn or develop on our own.
So to love people, seeing them as God sees them, is a gift and a gift that I cherish. When I am humble enough to use it, it is breathtakingly powerful. My capacity to reach out and recognize the beauty and greatness of another soul is so limited. Maybe that is my quandary: God is gifting me with a glimpse of how He sees and loves people...of course, I cannot possibly recognize and fulfill that love for them on my own! Coupled with God's love, just as the vision of their radiance is also coupled with His sight, my little love is sufficient.
I am surrounded by many people who demonstrate this love and acceptance of others. My own two dear mothers are great examples of this, as are so many of the women around me. My husband is one of the most charitable, non-judgmental people I know. So as we go around seeing people with God's glasses and feel inadequate to love them to the extent that we see God's love for them, we need to trust that God's love, combined with our own, is sufficient.
*****
I was on facebook and hurting for a friend. I want her to know of my love. I know that I am imperfect and probably hurt her in my imperfection but it is not intentional. I know that I love her.
I spend a great deal of my time trying not to hurt people. It is important to me because I hate to see people hurting. I hate it when my stupidity, ignorance, selfishness or failings make other people suffer. I think it is one of my deepest fears.
As I was thinking of this friend, the "If" poem by Kipling came to mind:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise...
It struck me that if I do love someone and am genuine in my actions (however imperfect) and if I continue to show my love for them, it will eventually work out. All truth will come to light. They will see that I am genuine and my love is real. I do not need to convince them in the moment. I can just be constant, peacefully following promptings or inclinations or desires to reach out to them in love. When it is rebuffed or (my own worst case scenario) misunderstood, it hurts. However, it doesn't need to define our eternal relationship. Humorously enough, the scene from "What about Bob?" comes to mind, when he refers to people being "disconnected" for a bit, but that he will try them again later if it doesn't work out right then.
I love many people. People are easy to love, I find. But then the part of "proving" my love has gotten a little wacko. I worry that they do not feel my love. I worry that my love isn't enough. I worry that I am too goofy, too thoughtless, too busy to love them enough so that they know it. And so I try too hard. Or I don't try enough.
So this epiphany is pretty freeing for me: that if I just love people with what I have and what I can give, it is enough. It may not be enough in the moment for them to know that I love them, but it will eventually be proven by little acts here and there that the constancy of my love is there.
What is love? Good question. When I think of what it means to love people, ideas like "acceptance," "nonjudgmental," "supportive," "embracing and enjoying differences and uniqueness" come to mind.
The passage on charity in Moroni is pretty defining:
45 And acharity suffereth long, and is bkind, and cenviethnot, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easilydprovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (Moroni 7: 45 from the Book of Mormon)****
I am no saint. I am not perfect in my love for anyone nor my demonstration of it. Years ago when I started realizing what a selfish, judgmental person I had become, I began to plead for true charity, which is a gift from God, not something that we just learn or develop on our own.
48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, apray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are truebfollowers of his Son, Jesus Christ;
So to love people, seeing them as God sees them, is a gift and a gift that I cherish. When I am humble enough to use it, it is breathtakingly powerful. My capacity to reach out and recognize the beauty and greatness of another soul is so limited. Maybe that is my quandary: God is gifting me with a glimpse of how He sees and loves people...of course, I cannot possibly recognize and fulfill that love for them on my own! Coupled with God's love, just as the vision of their radiance is also coupled with His sight, my little love is sufficient.
I am surrounded by many people who demonstrate this love and acceptance of others. My own two dear mothers are great examples of this, as are so many of the women around me. My husband is one of the most charitable, non-judgmental people I know. So as we go around seeing people with God's glasses and feel inadequate to love them to the extent that we see God's love for them, we need to trust that God's love, combined with our own, is sufficient.
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