Is My Heart Right?

I was able to go to a seminary teacher training yesterday.  One of the presenters shared a dream that Joseph Smith's father had in the early 1800's before the translation of the Book of Mormon that was similar to Lehi's "tree of life" dream.  An interesting insight was that after Smith, Sr. had gathered his family to the tree to partake of the fruit, they fell to the earth, eagerly consuming as much of the precious fruit that lay about on the ground as they could.

That is what I felt my day was like yesterday.  There were many opportunities for me to partake of the love of God, to feel of His goodness, as I participated in the training.  At one point, I thought of leaving early.  The official presentations were done and the coordinators of the program invited us to visit the sacred sites around Palmyra before the concluding remarks.  They encouraged us to look for things that we could teach our students from our experiences there.  I have been to all the sites many times now and felt a relief that "I could go home" and do more of that work list that always seems to loom forefront in my mind. (I still have many boxes to check through and sterilize before reintroducing them into the house...among other things.)

However, as we were there at that moment of pulling away or continuing, the thought came to me: "Remember how as a leader you prayed for inspiration on how to best bless those you were teaching in Vanguard?  How you knew that if they just trusted your inspiration for the group and came to the trainings and participated in what you felt inspired to put on that they would be blessed?"  So we stayed. (Quinn was there with me.)

And we were blessed.

I would just like to record some of the "fruits" that I gained from being there.

Prayer
The keynote speaker led a beautiful discussion that was very guided by the Spirit.  In it, I was reminded of the power of Joseph Smith's prayer leading up to the First Vision and what probably made it more effective.  He went to a place to pray that he had previously designed to go.  So often I drop where I am and pray amidst distraction when I remember I haven't prayed yet that day.  While I believe God listens to every prayer, the Spirit touched me and suggested that my prayers could be more effective if I actually "previously design" when and where I am going to pray.  Yes, we should always carry a prayer in our hearts and needn't always get caught up in formalities, but as we discussed this idea of "previously designing" a place that is quiet and free from distractions, I was reminded of Elder Eyring's comments at the Face-to-Face with Youth at Palmyra.  He said that if we realized that we were truly approaching the throne of God as we pray, our prayers would probably change.

The few times I have treated prayers in this fashion have been deep and meaningful experiences.  It is not a matter, again, of formality or form, but where is my heart?  Is my heart right as I approach the commandments or "tool"of prayer?  Am I checking it off the list or do I really understand what prayer is and can do for me?

Efficiency vs. People
I don't know if I can capture this next thought adequately but I will try.

One of the presenters was a seminary director from Penn State, Brother Done.  He pointed out how Nephi wrote one comprehensive history and then ended up writing a smaller one later in his life that covered the same time period as the large one but focused on the spiritual matters: for what reason I know not.  It was like rewriting a comprehensive history again

Mormon abridged 400 years worth of records onto golden plates covering the time of Nephi to Benjamin...and then discovered Nephi's smaller plates (see Words of Mormon).  He included those small plates in their entirety, struck by how precious the truths in them were.  You can just see his appreciation of Nephi's spiritual summary of those 400 years.  It changed how he translated the subsequent records (see verse 9, I believe).  And that earlier record, "The Book of Lehi," ended up not even being used.

Joseph Smith translated the 116 pages, a huge labor and sacrifice on many counts.  Through disobedience all that work was similarly "wasted," from an economical standpoint.

The presenter pointed out, "Obviously, the Lord is not worried about efficiency.  He is worried about people."  This really hit me.  I think that underlying my philosophy in life is a striving for efficiency: how can I get all those good things done in my life the best way.  This carries over from places that it is perhaps more important (household cleaning) to places where it should not be so prevalent (working with people).  Yes, I should pay attention to ways to do things better, but what is the underlying feeling of my heart?  To see if I can get it done more quickly and more efficiently? Or to feel love for a person and genuinely try to help, serve and love them?  I am reminded of a talk by Pres. Uchtdorf, I believe, when he said that he just cannot see the Savior multi-tasking.

Is My Heart Right?
These various thoughts were tied together with a thought I had while on one of the tours of the sites afterward...one of those tours that I almost missed in the name of "efficiency."

Joseph Smith tried to retrieve the plates four different times but his heart was not right. In fact, one of the times he was able to actually pick them up and move them from the place where they lay.  He set them down, and then turned to the place in the ground, thinking, "I wonder if there is something else in there that would bless my family in their poverty."  He faced the reality of poverty his whole life and his heart's desire wasn't "evil." I just wasn't right.  And he missed out on the blessings.

When I do what God commands me, as Joseph was doing it, and my heart isn't right, I am not able to receive the blessings as fully and completely as I could if my heart was right.  If my heart is focused on efficiency, maybe I will become the most efficient person in the world.  But is that what I want?  Or do I want to feel God's love for others?  His love for me?

The Whole Earth Wasted
The concluding remarks were given my Brother Done.  Again, I almost left. They were over time and I had a bunch of cute little kids that needed me!  He asked us to consider the scripture that was repeated time and again to Joseph Smith:

1 Behold, I will reveal unto you the Priesthood, by the hand of Elijah the prophet, before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.

2 And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers.

3 If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.

A gentleman offered a different interpretation of the word "wasted" from the one I generally use and hear.  Rather than "wiped out" he said it would be "a wasted effort."  Brother Done pointed out that the War in Heaven was over the implementation of God's plan.  And what was that plan?  To prepare a way that we could become like Heavenly Father.  And what is God?  A father.  A father with a huge family that He helps to grow and develop and loves without restraint. If our hearts are not turned to our families--both immediate and the family of man--, if we are not creating family units to become more like Heavenly Father in that very important step, the whole plan is wasted.

It is not about efficiency.  It never was.  It is about becoming like God, a God that exists outside of time and space. A God that worries about love first and efficiency second.

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The artwork is from a series called "Cloud Study" by John Constable.  Those are for you, my mother, and Mark.