Tuesday, November 22, 2011

mentoring vs. "discussion faciliator"

My friend asked me a question, and it made me think...

What is the difference between being merely an instructor or discussion facilitator, and a mentor, who knows strengths and weaknesses and lovingly encourages me to be better? We were discussing one of my loves, the Vanguard Youth group I have been privileged to be associated with. Here are my thoughts:

Love. Love and inspiration.

One of the oft-overlooked (or purposefully neglected) methods of showing and learning to love is spending time together.

I know the youth in this group, know their strengths, and can individually acknowledge their strengths while encouraging them to strengthen their weak areas.

When I am with the youth, I am with the youth. I like to sit near them, rub shoulders with them, play the games with them, talk to them during lunch (when I am not feeding my own little ones), comment to them before and after class, go to game night, go to movie night, participate in the service with them.

As women, as friends, I have noticed that during these "down times", we tend to gravitate to each other. We have not been so effective gravitating to the youth. It is through seemingly meaningless activities like playing a game with them that I learn about hesitations, see smiles at certain jokes, see strengths and colors coming out.

Washington chose not to stay at Mount Vernon when he easily could have enjoyed its comforts. We would all do well to consider why.

It requires a lot of time, and, sometimes I don't feel like I have it. I believe that God knows what we are capable of and will inspire us. In Bonds that Make us Free I learned a great truth. We know when we are justifying to ourselves why we cannot make it to something and when we just plain can't. He makes up the difference, fills our family's love cup when we need to be elsewhere, and helps us help each other to love these youth so we can truly mentor them.

We cannot judge each other and where we spend our time, for we are accountable to God and not each other (thankfully!), but that is something to consider. Make the most of the time you do spend with the youth. You can always call your friend, but you cannot always bond with a youth. Our time with them is fleeting and precious.

I think it is important to see ourselves, in a sense, as discussion facilitators when we get up in front of everyone as we teach...to remember that we are there to help them arrive at truth and teach and learn from each other...not just to share everything we know and learn. However, to add that element of love and understanding enables us to become mentors as well.

Do what you can to engage and love (pray to love Moroni 7:48...God can give you the love you need to be the servant He needs you to be!) and you will be enough.

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