One of the things I learned from the death of Isaak is really helping me in this current transition of saying goodbye to dear people. I have already said “goodbye” for this life to someone infinitely closer to my heart…my dear son. However, I know that I will not only see him again, but am confident that I will be able to raise him and be near him forever. This assurance spills over into all the “goodbyes” I have made since then. Knowing that I have the assurance of eternal relationships with dear people, I know that I will see them again and be near them.
And I think it goes deeper than that. Isaak is a part of me, …I can feel him near often and the lessons I learned from his short life and the love that we share are always with me. I feel that when I think on my dear friends,…those I am moving physically away from now and those I have parted with in the past. I know that those relationships, if they are true, will be with me forever, and those dear people are a part of the very core of my make-up: the love, approval (I am a “blue” after all), and friendship they have given me; the way I have changed who I am because of their words and examples; their very faces and mannerisms!
Maybe it just hasn’t sunk in…or maybe not. I have women (and men) that I have had to divert my path from temporarily in the past, and each time those paths re-cross (even momentarily!) the relationship is rekindled, as if no time has passed at all. I am banking on this, subconsciously bringing much peace to this whole time period of moving.
Plus, (is that a legitimate word to be used that way? Marni?) I have had so much confirmation that what we are doing right, through countless big and small things that reaffirm the rightness of this transition that it is, quite frankly, overwhelming. It seems that when the words of others make me take a momentary pause to say, “Is this real?”, or "Shouldn't I be more sad or stressed?" I am bombarded with affirmation and peace from the Spirit.
A few people have asked for a few more particulars about our “transition” so here it is :)…as far as I know it, anyway. We are fixing up our house to sell it right now, as we live with my parents in the Salt Lake valley. (10 people+ new paint+ new floors=disaster; easy math, eh?) It should be ready sometime next week. (Y'all should come and see it next week before we sell it :)! We have the best realtor, of course...Quinn!...so it should go quickly.
We have felt prompted to pursue a long-held dream to take our family to Hungary for a few years. Whether we actually make it or whether we just have lessons we need to learn in the process it is in the Lord’s hands. We are “anxiously engaged”, doing many things “of our own free will” (D&C 58:26-27), but know that the ultimate assurance of our success is in His hands. Another option we have on the back burner that feels like a right alternative is moving nearer our dear brother and sister and their family who are moving from Florida in the near future. Or, the Lord will direct us somewhere else nearby.
As far as Hungary goes, now would be an ideal time to take our entire family over. Avot is getting toward high school age, so it will be more challenging to do this when they are any older. Afterward, Quinn would love to return to Kaysville, and I am content to follow him and the Lord, knowing that the Lord can do mighty miracles with and for us.
I love all the ways people use their own writing style on blogs and shirk "rules." Rules have their place. I don't see a problem with your "plus." :)
ReplyDeleteWhew! Thanks :)!
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