When we shout, do they really hear more?

I have struggled over the years with raising my voice when in situations of stress or high demand...

It came easily as a child as the oldest sister with 6 younger brothers.  It also came in handy while playing hard with the boys of the neighborhood growing up.  As drum major in high school, you could hear my voice across the whole school yard...a great thing when dealing with 150 students--all with instruments.

Whenever I drop something on my toe, or bang something, whether it hurts or not, my first reaction is to let out some little (or big) sound in response.

So, when it came to parenting, unfortunately, "a soft answer turneth away wrath" was not my modus operandi.

It doesn't help, of course, that my volume at full blast far exceeds almost any other human being I have met.  (My mom used to use me to get the attention of a gym full of noisy youth.)  Unlike those delicate friends of mine, whose raging rampages are barely heard outside the room they are in, if I let in to my passionate frustration, the whole neighborhood can hear.

Well, after working on this for long years, I have found techniques to curb this explosive first reaction: deep breaths, personal time outs, and just keeping my mouth closed :).  Yet, it still was a challenge to keep my loud voice in check.

I have also had powerful lessons:
-the exploding peach jar analogy--I'll post this some other time...
-fasting..."some spirits (habits) goeth not out but by fasting and prayer"
-articles like the one about environment for kids (see posting on "amazing blog post on environment in the home") 
-memorizing a scripture on "Charity" in Moroni for a youth group.

For instance, one day I testified to a child (who is subject to the same explosive reactions) that if they knelt down and prayed right where they were, it would make a difference.  The very next day, as I was faced with a choice to give into my sudden (and, as always, "justified" (hahahaha)) feeling of anger, the words I said to that child came to me.  I was mad at the "interruption" of the natural flow of my anger, but knew that I would be a hypocrite: If I could testify to him that it worked, why wouldn't I do it?

With feelings of stubbornness and resentment I knelt in my anger, right where I was.  I started out, unable to say anything, when I found that all I could say was: "Please, Father, help me with my anger...take it away."  I cannot describe what happened next, but my anger was instantly gone, replaced with feelings of humility, as I wept, kneeling at the threshold of my God...on my cold hard kitchen floor, surrounded by my puzzled children.

Experiences like these have truly shaped me, as the Lord has helped me battle through this weakness of mine.

Well, the reason for writing all of that today, is that I read this article in the Deseret News the other day, and thought,  "This man really knows what he is talking about!"

Here it is, totally worth it.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865550023/If-God-whispers-to-us-why-do-we-shout-to-others.html

(Funny thing, I normally don't do more than skim the titles of a couple pages of the paper every day or so...this one was right in front of me, left out by one of the kids or someone else where they left it, and it was just what I needed...)

I felt like this article went hand in hand with my quest to learn to parent as Heavenly Father parents us, His children.