Answer to my question about Pride: Gratitude?

It has been interesting that one of the ways God wants me to learn humility is to recognize where I am being proud.  Painful.  Ouch.  I mean really.

Problem: PRIDE
Relationships that I felt were great for years are taking on a new look as I see little ways that I have been belittling, judging, and feeling superior to people that are nearest and dearest to me...even without realizing what I was doing!

As I had my mind opened to this, I felt overwhelmed.  This kind of judgmental behavior is so deeply a part of my relationships with these dear people that I don't even recognize what I am doing most of the time!  I mean, sure, I recognize ways that they are better than I am, but I didn't realize how often I was subconsciously weighing and measuring what they were doing! It is really getting in the way of us feeling at peace with each other.

In my mind, I can recognize all kind of faults that I have.  However, I read an amazing article a few years ago that taught me that putting myself down is not humility!

Many Latter-day Saints know the Church is true but have unhealthy feelings about their own inadequacies, real or imagined. The scriptures inform us that we all have weaknesses and that there is a place for them in our spiritual progress: “If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).

Too often we wallow in our weaknesses so much that we do not allow “weak things” to “become strong.” Our condition is frequently misdiagnosed as humility, when in reality it is a lack of confidence.

What is the difference between the two?

To be humble is to recognize our utter dependence upon the Lord. We are conscious of our strengths, but we do not exalt ourselves and become prideful, for we know that all good things ultimately come from God. We are conscious of our weaknesses, but we know the Lord can use those very weaknesses to bless our lives and that through Him, as we learn from the book of Ether, our weaknesses can become strengths.

To lack confidence is to have feelings of low self-worth. We are preoccupied with our weaknesses, and we lack faith in the Lord’s ability to use those weaknesses for our good. We do not understand our inestimable worth in the eyes of God, nor do we appreciate our divine potential. Ironically, both pride and a lack of self-confidence cause us to focus excessively on ourselves and to deny the power of God in our lives.

Dr. Thomas Harris made the following wise observation on insecurity and confidence: “Most people never fulfill their human promise and potential because they remain perpetually helpless children overwhelmed by a sense of inferiority. The feeling of being okay does not imply that the person has risen above all his faults and emotional problems. It merely implies that he refuses to be paralyzed by them.”

So what was the answer?  I felt deeply the need to change, to be more humble, yet I feared to pray for it!  Have you ever heard the advice: "Don't pray for patience!" I agree!  I experienced the reason not to first hand, and learned that there is "no royal road" to gain patience.  You gain it by practicing it.  Painful, again.

I had to ask myself, am I ready to pray for humility?  Am I humble enough? (Ironic, eh?)

Solution: GRATITUDE?
 So I did it.  I got down on my knees, feeling wretched if I didn't, and humbled myself enough to ask God to help me.  And the answers came.  Swiftly.  Now, I will try and capture as many as I can here.

At Church yesterday, the speakers' topic was "gratitude."  One of her opening quotes was from Elder James E. Talmage, who said, “Gratitude is twin sister to humility; pride is a foe to both.”  Gratitude, eh?  I had already been practicing that with my journal of God's hand in my life, but I never realized that such a simple thing could be an antidote to such a  powerful thing as pride.

She went on to share the following quote:

Expressing gratitude brings us humility. In a world where we have been given so much and might be severely tempted to pride, gratitude stands as a barrier, for one cannot feel pride and gratitude at the same time.

 Could it really be that simple?  I can say thanks, right?

Here is a great talk from Thomas S. Monson about it:

My beloved friend President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives.” ³

In the book of Matthew in the Bible, we have another account of gratitude, this time as an expression from the Savior. As He traveled in the wilderness for three days, more than 4,000 people followed and traveled with Him. He took compassion on them, for they may not have eaten during the entire three days. His disciples, however, questioned, “Whence should we have so much bread in the wilderness, as to fill so great a multitude?” Like many of us, the disciples saw only what was lacking.

“And Jesus saith unto them, How many loaves have ye? And [the disciples] said, Seven, and a few little fishes.

“And [Jesus] commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground.

“And he took the seven loaves and the fishes, and gave thanks, and brake them, and gave to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.”

Notice that the Savior gave thanks for what they had—and a miracle followed: “And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full.” ⁴

We have all experienced times when our focus is on what we lack rather than on our blessings. Said the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” ⁵

The speaker then gave us a challenge to make a list of 100 things I am grateful for and gave us a great way to do it:
-10 living people I am grateful for
-10 deceased people I am grateful for
-10 physical abilities I am grateful for
-10 material possessions I am grateful for
-10 things in nature I am grateful for
-10 things about today I am grateful for
-10 places on earth I am grateful for
-10 modern day inventions I am grateful for
-10 foods I am grateful for (easy, peasy!)
-10 things about the Gospel I am grateful for

I have written a list before of "The 100 things I am grateful for" so I am going to see how many I can list before the end of the month...and her categories give me a great start!  Any other categories I can look for?

Here are a few I thought of:
-10 things in my relationships with others I am grateful for
-10 things I have learned that I am grateful for
-10 songs I am grateful for

Please help me come up with some others!  Thanks!