Humility checks...ouch

It is awesome and scary how efficient the Lord is in teaching us what we ask to be taught :).  It is also reassuring and comforting knowing how much He loves us as He tenderly teaches us what we need to know.


Serve with humility...but are they deserving?
Lately, I have had the opportunity to learn a little better what it means to humbly serve.  It doesn't mean to idly sit back and let others take advantage of you...

...nor does it mean to serve only those who can serve you back.

There have been two specific situations that have come up in the past week where my sense of justice has been wronged.  In both these situations, people seem to be taking advantage of me and I started thinking about "policies" or actions to put in place to keep them from continuing to to so.  In fact, as I discussed them with my dear husband, Quinn, I could feel the "crave justice!" part of me rise up to justify the actions I wanted to put into place.

But it felt wrong.  So I reached more deeply to justify and validate :).

Quinn thoughtfully listened to my side and then quietly asked, "Do you want justice or do you want the relationship?  Maybe this is a good opportunity to serve them."

But what about justice?! I insisted, sure that I had justice on my side.  And maybe I did.  I went to bed after discussing this with Quinn unsure and unresolved.

The next morning, in my scripture reading, I read in a place that I cannot seem to find something about "don't just serve the people who can serve you back, for you have your reward of them...serve those who cannot serve you back and you are serving God"...or something like that. (I just can't seem to find it!  Should have written it down like the Spirit prompted me to :S.)

As I was trying to find that scripture, I did find Colossians 3:23-24 which reads: 

 23And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

 24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

It was a strong answer to my self-justification to serve them that cannot serve you back.  It is a duty and a blessing and it is better than my momentarily perceived "just" route.

Trust where you have not trusted before
The next lesson came with regards to my health.  This is the time of year where I just plan on suffering with allergies.  There is something in cold & cough medicines that cause severe hives in my body, with reactions that got steadily worse.  Needless to say, I avoid anything resembling that variety of medicine, limiting my resources.

I also really like natural healing and essential oils methods, feeling that by using these resources, I open up my resources and I don't build up resistance to the "less" natural methods of modern medicine--saving their potency for if and when I truly need them.  So when it came time to "enjoy" allergy season again, I have been dutifully applying natural oils and trying other ways to combat the discomforts of allergies.

Well, over the past several days, my usual "sinus" problems travelled unexpectedly to my lungs.  My asthma became horrific and I started having other symptoms as well.  To be brief, it was to the point where I had rapid shallow breathing and just couldn't sleep.  I was weak and achy and basically incapacitated...definitely not my typical allergic asthmatic reaction.  Not wanting to deal with pneumonia, I figures it must be time to go to the doctor!

During my visit, he addressed the obvious problem of my asthma with inhalers, but also gave me a steroid with the words, "If it were me, I would buy the steroid now, because I suspect there is more going on than just asthma.  The steroid takes a few days to work, so I would get it going now."  He gave me the prescription, sent in a prescription for an inhaler, sent me home with another inhaler and wished me luck.

Well, the choice was before me.  Do I follow the counsel of the doctor or follow my usual pattern of avoiding the possibility of "over-doing" medicine and minimally applying it?  My gut said "wait to see if the inhaler works."  The Spirit gently whispered, "be humble and trust the doctor."  I chose the first :).

Needless to say, my asthma went away wonderfully that afternoon and my gut felt justified.  (Ware justification, apparently.)  I went to bed, happy with my choice.

In the middle of the night (just about an hour ago, to be precise), I woke up feeling the fluid in my lungs and overcome with mucus-laden coughing--yummy, eh?   Maybe that steroid would have been a good idea.

Another interesting lesson that came of this: when I was feeling particularly incapacitated, I felt prompted to call my visiting teachers to ask if they could come and help me with a meal or something.  "Later," I told myself.  As I lay in bed and listened to the youth that were gathered in our home for our Vanguard scholastic youth group, I heard several times, "sometimes we need to be humble enough to serve others and humble enough to ask for and receive service."  The thought about my visiting teachers came to mind again.

As I got caught up with the doctor visit and the joy of feeling better asthmatically following his treatment, I put the visiting teacher idea on hold.  My friends who was here at the house for the youth group joyfully and quietly served by cleaning up my messy kitchen before leaving.  And one of them must have called my visiting teachers, because later that day, we received a call from one of them saying, "We heard Mary was having a hard time health-wise so we will be bringing dinner in tomorrow night."

Of course, that was when I was feeling better and almost felt guilty accepting, knowing that I was going to try and go to the zoo with my little ones the next day, since I was feelings so great. :)

Well, apparently the Lord knew what was to come and made plans.  My job was to humble accept them and rejoice in the goodness of my friends and visiting teachers...

...and humbly accept the counsel of my doctor, right?

Following the Prophet: justify and delay or act?
So by now I should have learned my lesson, right?  Several of them, to be sure, even if I have shared only a few :).  So here is where the lesson is hopefully learned and my opportunity to exercise faith begins:

The most recent First Presidency message is from our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, and it is titled "Are We Prepared?" (click on the title to get the link)  I feel like this article is Noah preaching to the people before the flood, or the prophet Lehi joining with so many other prophets in Jerusalem exhorting the people to repent, and then fleeing Jerusalem in the face of disaster to come.  His words:

We should remember that the best storehouse system would be for every family in the Church to have a supply of food, clothing, and, where possible, other necessities of life. The Lord’s storehouse includes the time, talents, skills, compassion, consecrated material, and financial means of faithful Church members. These resources are available to the bishop in assisting those in need.

We urge all Latter-day Saints to be prudent in their planning, to be conservative in their living, and to avoid excessive or unnecessary debt. Many more people could ride out the storm-tossed waves in their economic lives if they had a supply of food and clothing and were debt-free. Today we find that many have followed this counsel in reverse: they have a supply of debt and are food-free.

Wow.  Pretty to the point.  He goes on:

I repeat what the First Presidency declared a few years ago (uh-oh...so this is at least the second time in recent years!):

“Latter-day Saints have been counseled for many years to prepare for adversity by having a little money set aside. Doing so adds immeasurably to security and well-being. Every family has a responsibility to provide for its own needs to the extent possible.

“We encourage you wherever you may live in the world to prepare for adversity by looking to the condition of your finances. We urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt. Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from this bondage. Save a little money regularly to gradually build a financial reserve.”¹

So...a supply of food, clothing and other necessities of life, eh?  Maybe I shouldn't take that recent batch of clothes to the DI and store them instead, despite the protest of my logical self?  Just one of a few things that come to mind when reading this admonition from our prophet.  His final words have the ring of prophetic warning:

We live in turbulent times. Often the future is unknown; therefore, it behooves us to prepare for uncertainties. (My thought...except, to God the future is known and He revealeth His word unto His prophets...) When the time for decision arrives, the time for preparation is past. 

Have I learned my lessons?  Do I sense a pattern here?

In the Guide to the Scriptures on lds.org it defines "humility" this way: To make meek and teachable, or the condition of being meek and teachable. Humility includes recognizing our dependence upon God and desiring to submit to his will. 

What is His will?  Apparently there are many ways it has been made manifest in my life lately.  I guess it is just up to me to look for it, learn the lessons, and act in faith.

Time to walk that road less traveled.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

--Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken"