Last night as I lay awake after nursing the baby at 2 am, my mind exploded with ideas about the next day, upcoming events and other odds and ends. Fabulous ideas. Ideas that often disappear by morning.
Yet, as soon as I wake up, I seem to lack that clarity, that focus, that vision.
There is something about those midnight hours that are time-less for me, that allow me to step outside of the weight of driving accountability for how I spend each minute...a weight that often creates anxiety within myself as I obsess over the "good, better, best" of each moment.
I don't like obsessing, I don't like anxiety. I like the calm stillness, the peace within that I feel in the middle of the night that steps outside of the whirlwind advance of daytime hours.
Hmmm...want to figure out how to do that. Daily magnesium supplements has definitely helped. :)
Perhaps I got my answer yesterday as I listened to 2 Nephi 9 during the "organizing" hours before church. Jacob goes over the span of the world's existence, from the opening powerful scenes of creation to the wind-up victory of Christ and God over the world. Trust in God. Trust in His power. We know the end and that should give us hope that as we put our trust, our faith, our focus on Him and how He would have us live our lives, we can know the end will be amazing.
Isn't that why I stew and fret? Fearing that by some action today I may set in motion destructive sequences in the future? If I act with charity, submissiveness and faith, the outcome will be for the best, even if "the best" doesn't look like I initially thought it would. Perhaps we need to not only trust before we take action, but, having moved forward trusting God, we can trust that the outcome was what it needed to be.
Why isn't it easy to trust in the surest thing, surest power, surest course ever proven...
the hand, power and plan of God?
I'm the same way, stew and fret over "the best." I copied your second to the last paragraph to an "advice to me" Evernote file I keep, and found this Uchtdorf quote there as well: "What mattered to Him was that I was doing the best I could, that my heart was inclined toward Him, and that I was willing to help those around me. I knew if I did the best I could, all would be well. The Lord doesn’t care at all if we spend our days working in marble halls or stable stalls. He knows where we are, no matter how humble our circumstances. He will use—in His own way and for His holy purposes—those who incline their hearts to Him."
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way, stew and fret over "the best." I copied your second to the last paragraph to an "advice to me" Evernote file I keep, and found this Uchtdorf quote there as well: "What mattered to Him was that I was doing the best I could, that my heart was inclined toward Him, and that I was willing to help those around me. I knew if I did the best I could, all would be well. The Lord doesn’t care at all if we spend our days working in marble halls or stable stalls. He knows where we are, no matter how humble our circumstances. He will use—in His own way and for His holy purposes—those who incline their hearts to Him."
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