Last night it happened again.
The ranting. The raving. The mean mommy. The regret. The shame. The apology.
As one friend put it, "I feel like saying 'sorry' has become part of the bedtime routine. 'Good night, sleep well, I love you, I am sorry I have been such a mean mommy.'"
Sigh. I am getting better.
Last night, I was frustrated with the baby, who had been crying for what seemed like forever after I tried lots of things. Well, lots of things half-heartedly :S. Daddy took over when I was super-frustrated, fortunately, and I just sat in the back mud room, plugged my ears and ranted and raved at anything I could think of: the house, the mud, the baby.
Daddy's calm, loving presence worked and the baby was soon asleep. I sulked and read a bit, reasoning that I was calming my "poor self" down.
A couple hours later, I awoke to some pretty pitiful cries from a baby. He had just thrown up all over himself in the crib. Poor dear. His tummy had hurt and all his mommy could do was feel sorry for herself. Sigh. Lesson learned again. Hopefully this time my heart is turned even more away from that behavior so there will not be a next time "sorry" as part of the bedtime routine...
...the wake-up routine as it was this morning.
The ranting. The raving. The mean mommy. The regret. The shame. The apology.
As one friend put it, "I feel like saying 'sorry' has become part of the bedtime routine. 'Good night, sleep well, I love you, I am sorry I have been such a mean mommy.'"
Sigh. I am getting better.
Last night, I was frustrated with the baby, who had been crying for what seemed like forever after I tried lots of things. Well, lots of things half-heartedly :S. Daddy took over when I was super-frustrated, fortunately, and I just sat in the back mud room, plugged my ears and ranted and raved at anything I could think of: the house, the mud, the baby.
Daddy's calm, loving presence worked and the baby was soon asleep. I sulked and read a bit, reasoning that I was calming my "poor self" down.
A couple hours later, I awoke to some pretty pitiful cries from a baby. He had just thrown up all over himself in the crib. Poor dear. His tummy had hurt and all his mommy could do was feel sorry for herself. Sigh. Lesson learned again. Hopefully this time my heart is turned even more away from that behavior so there will not be a next time "sorry" as part of the bedtime routine...
...the wake-up routine as it was this morning.
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