Wow. The Lord keeps using my experiences as a parent to teach me more about myself!! Here was another "doozy" from yesterday:
#3 Be Grateful
Yesterday one of my children was upset. Very upset.
I had given them a job and they hadn't understood the full job until that moment.
Now, I had anticipated this. I had anticipated that the child's reaction to dishes (the said job) would be abject despair (complete and total). So, before reminding the child about their job I had done a quick wash on about 10 of the bigger yet easier dishes before preparing to go and help a different child who I intended to help with something else.
It will soften the blow, I thought.
Nope.
I gently pointed out to the child, with a happy little note in my voice, "Look! See? I already did all these to make it a little easier :)."
Same despair.
I was a little frustrated and I examined my reaction. Why? Wasn't helping and serving the right thing to do, regardless of my child's reaction? Yes. But their reaction created another one of those "learn about Heavenly Father through parenting" moments:
Lesson:. If God does help us (and I know He does) and we don't recognize it, how much of a sign of love are we letting it be? Is the love felt? I mean, I could see my child felt no awareness of how my actions had helped them...how I was trying to love them. They had a job to do (part of living here) and I wanted to make it as easy as possible and all they could do was whine about it.
Can you see the parallel?
We are here on earth "to prepare to meet God and perform our labors." He sees that we need to do these jobs, these labors for many reasons, but it is mostly for our learning and growth. That is how I feel about jobs around the house. Learning and growth, discipline and skills. That is why when they seem to have mastered these lessons, I allow them to immerse themselves more in study...although they always maintain some ownership in keeping things running smoothly. It creates a servant heart and a connection with those around us.
Wow. More and more connections!!
As we serve on this earth in our labors, we are never "done." Even though we may have "mastered the lessons": do a great job visiting teaching, go to church every week, etc., etc. we still need to have connections with those around us and love them...a love that is purely manifested in service to them, which blesses the receiver as well but so much more the given.
So, back to the sink, as I sat there and felt those perplexing feelings of "was what I did a waste of time then?" (and the answer was "no" because it is still the right thing to serve whether they receive it or not) I realized that not only did I want to serve them, but I wanted them to feel my love through the actions...and they hadn't.
It was in that moment that I believe I had a glimpse of what God was saying when he said,
"I, the Lord, am willing...he shall receive this blessing, if he receive it from the hand of the Lord with a thankful heart in all things." D&C 62:7
Maybe that "might" just is a matter of turning to the side and seeing what God has already done for us to make our jobs easier...just like my child could have turned to see that the pile of dripping wet dishes was larger than what he had before him to do. Yes, the job needs to be done. And yes, we need to learn how to do it. But being grateful just might put things in perspective and give us that joy that we are all seeking.
As Aristotle said, the pursuit of happiness is the object behind all our actions. Maybe it is closer than we think. And I think I just caught a glimpse of how much of that happiness is in our choice to look at what God has already done rather than crumple into a cute little ball of self-pity as we look at the task* before us.
***************
*sample tasks I have before me:
-forgiving
-healing relationships
-visiting teaching
-service in home
-being happy :)
-learning obedience
-fixing up this house
-sometimes, just waking up :)
#3 Be Grateful
Yesterday one of my children was upset. Very upset.
I had given them a job and they hadn't understood the full job until that moment.
Now, I had anticipated this. I had anticipated that the child's reaction to dishes (the said job) would be abject despair (complete and total). So, before reminding the child about their job I had done a quick wash on about 10 of the bigger yet easier dishes before preparing to go and help a different child who I intended to help with something else.
It will soften the blow, I thought.
Nope. I gently pointed out to the child, with a happy little note in my voice, "Look! See? I already did all these to make it a little easier :)."
Same despair.
I was a little frustrated and I examined my reaction. Why? Wasn't helping and serving the right thing to do, regardless of my child's reaction? Yes. But their reaction created another one of those "learn about Heavenly Father through parenting" moments:
Lesson:. If God does help us (and I know He does) and we don't recognize it, how much of a sign of love are we letting it be? Is the love felt? I mean, I could see my child felt no awareness of how my actions had helped them...how I was trying to love them. They had a job to do (part of living here) and I wanted to make it as easy as possible and all they could do was whine about it.
Can you see the parallel?
We are here on earth "to prepare to meet God and perform our labors." He sees that we need to do these jobs, these labors for many reasons, but it is mostly for our learning and growth. That is how I feel about jobs around the house. Learning and growth, discipline and skills. That is why when they seem to have mastered these lessons, I allow them to immerse themselves more in study...although they always maintain some ownership in keeping things running smoothly. It creates a servant heart and a connection with those around us.
As we serve on this earth in our labors, we are never "done." Even though we may have "mastered the lessons": do a great job visiting teaching, go to church every week, etc., etc. we still need to have connections with those around us and love them...a love that is purely manifested in service to them, which blesses the receiver as well but so much more the given.
So, back to the sink, as I sat there and felt those perplexing feelings of "was what I did a waste of time then?" (and the answer was "no" because it is still the right thing to serve whether they receive it or not) I realized that not only did I want to serve them, but I wanted them to feel my love through the actions...and they hadn't.
It was in that moment that I believe I had a glimpse of what God was saying when he said,
"Always return thanks to God."
It is not for Him. It is in the acknowledgement of His hand that we see His love for us.
He wants to love us and cannot do it in a way that spoils us, or takes away our learning. But He can and will make the test as easy as possible. But if all we do is whine or, as my child did, look in abject despair at the job that lies before us and not how He has made it as easy as possible, perhaps his wrath is kindled...just a bit?
D&C 59:21-And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things and obey not his commandments.A further clarifying scripture reinforced this concept: that we must show gratitude if we are to see God's hand around us and be happy.
"I, the Lord, am willing...he shall receive this blessing, if he receive it from the hand of the Lord with a thankful heart in all things." D&C 62:7
Men are that they might have joy
Maybe that "might" just is a matter of turning to the side and seeing what God has already done for us to make our jobs easier...just like my child could have turned to see that the pile of dripping wet dishes was larger than what he had before him to do. Yes, the job needs to be done. And yes, we need to learn how to do it. But being grateful just might put things in perspective and give us that joy that we are all seeking.
As Aristotle said, the pursuit of happiness is the object behind all our actions. Maybe it is closer than we think. And I think I just caught a glimpse of how much of that happiness is in our choice to look at what God has already done rather than crumple into a cute little ball of self-pity as we look at the task* before us.
***************
*sample tasks I have before me:
-forgiving
-healing relationships
-visiting teaching
-service in home
-being happy :)
-learning obedience
-fixing up this house
-sometimes, just waking up :)
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