"called of God" and humility

I have come across another organization several times in my homeschooling experience that felt…puffed up.  When I read in Doctrine & Covenants section 121 this morning, I came across this: 34 Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?

 35 Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson—

 36 That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.

 37 That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.

Now, I don’t know if this groups is still “chosen” or not…they have done a great work and served and blessed the lives of thousands with their inspiration.  What I superficially observe at this point is arrogance, contention, and stagnation.  Rather than use it as a judgment stick for them any further, however, I turn that observation inward: what can I learn from this? When has my arrogance interfered with my ability to be truly chosen of God in any capacity, whether in my calling, leading groups, or (especially) as a wife and mother?  As I wonder what the “measuring stick” would be to determine if what I am doing is truly God’s work, the answer seems to come back: the Spirit.  When the Lord says, “Amen to the authority of that man” I feel like “authority” (real, lasting influence and ability to lead, or the kind of authority I want to have, anyway J)= “having the Spirit to guide and direct me.” 

To be a tool in the hands of God is to feel true power, for then you feel His working through you.  You realize it is Him, but He allows you to feel His peace and love.  I am (or should be!) content to let Him be the one with the power, and I just need to find a way to keep humility more a part of my life...especially when "challenged" by my kids :).  

Any suggestions on how to do that last bit?  Realize, in the heat of a moment, what is important in parenting/leading?  To save face? To establish authority? To show love and humility? Strength/weakness?